When the priest won't absolve you

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FrenzyJen

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…because he doesn’t believe what you are confessing is a sin, what are you supposed to do?

I’m not referring to cases of individuals with scruples, but for someone who **knows **that they have sinned, but their confessor believes that some part of their situation excuses them, what is the course of action? Again, there is no doubt that there was a sin committed, and the issue is a misinformed but well-intentioned priest.

I know this isn’t as much of an issue in more populated areas where you can find another confessor, but what about when one lives in a rural area and doesn’t have an option for another priest to confess to?
 
My understanding is that as the priest absolves your sins en masse, so long as you have one sin in your Confession that is clearly a sin (mortal or venial) then you will receive absolution and all your sins (even any that the priest may incorrectly view as not being a sin) will be absolved.

Most of us sin a lot, mostly venial sins, but they are still sins. To go for a whole week without having committed some sin, would seem very unlikely. If the person confesses their venial sins as well, then the priest will give absolution and all mortal sins confessed will also be absolved (even if the priest does not think that a particular sin is actually a mortal sin).

Confession is not just for mortal sins, but for all sins.
 
Brendan_64 said:
My understanding is that as the priest absolves your sins en masse, so long as you have one sin in your Confession that is clearly a sin (mortal or venial) then you will receive absolution and all your sins (even any that the priest may incorrectly view as not being a sin) will be absolved.

Most of us sin a lot, mostly venial sins, but they are still sins. To go for a whole week without having committed some sin, would seem very unlikely. If the person confesses their venial sins as well, then the priest will give absolution and all mortal sins confessed will also be absolved (even if the priest does not think that a particular sin is actually a mortal sin).

Confession is not just for mortal sins, but for all sins.
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^^^This. You are absolved of the quilt and to dwell on it further would be scruples.
 
FrenzyJen said:
…because he doesn’t believe what you are confessing is a sin, what are you supposed to do?

I’m not referring to cases of individuals with scruples, but for someone who **knows **that they have sinned, but their confessor believes that some part of their situation excuses them, what is the course of action? Again, there is no doubt that there was a sin committed, and the issue is a misinformed but well-intentioned priest.

I know this isn’t as much of an issue in more populated areas where you can find another confessor, but what about when one lives in a rural area and doesn’t have an option for another priest to confess to?
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Is this something that has actually happened to you, or are you posing a hypothetical question?
 
Are you referring to receiving final absolution at the end of your Confession?

Or did he just say that the particular sin was not considered a sin, therefore it didn’t need forgiving?

Did you also confess other sins and now you’re unsure about absolution of any of them?

Peace.

+JMJ+
 
Then to be sure, you can bring some venial sins or past, but already forgiven mortal sins; these remain valid matter for the sacrament. When those are brought forward, he MUST absolve you. Then regardless of whether he believes your “current” sin is a sin or not, it’s covered by the absolution.
 
Not sure what I would do, other than ask for clarification as to why I couldn’t be absolved. A Bishop once told me after a confession that he couldn’t absolve me. I had never encountered this before. He must have seen the distress in my facial expression because he wound up explaining it to me right then and there. I walked out heartbroken, but understanding why and it eventually helped me set the situation to right. Later, after confessing a few other times to another priest, the priest (now my usual confessor) offered to send me off with a blessing, rather than absolve me. I further explained my situation and he told me he would absolve me, but that I had to be careful not to fall into the same trap again. He explained that repeated sinful acts were wrong, and that I had to work on changing my life situation so that I didn’t keep re-offending God. I think if it’s a priest you confess to on a more regular basis, someone who knows your struggles, they may not absolve you if you seem to be using the confessional as your personal magic eraser and then going out and not living as you should be all over again. If the priest doesnt know you, he’s more likely to take your word for it. The second time, I almost felt as though I had begged for forgiveness and worried I hadn’t truly been absolved… but then I remembered that when you’re in the confessional, the priest is acting on God’s behalf… I was contrite… I was sorry- and the fear it put into me that day helped me eventually set my life straight.
 
porthos11 said:
Then to be sure, you can bring some venial sins or past, but already forgiven mortal sins; these remain valid matter for the sacrament. When those are brought forward, he MUST absolve you. Then regardless of whether he believes your “current” sin is a sin or not, it’s covered by the absolution.
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👍
 
A bit on the lighter side:

When I was a kid, I remember going to confession and telling the priest my sins.

Not saying my nighttime prayers
Disobeying my folks
Socking my older sister in the arm
Biting my nails
Telling a fib to the neighbor lady

The priest told me that my sins were forgiven, but also added that biting nails is not a sin.

I gathered up the guts to tell him “you are wrong, Father! My mom says that the way I bite my nails is a SIN!!!”

I do hope you get an answer to your questions. : )
 
Why don’t you go to confession with another Priest and confess the sin? That way it won’t be nagging at you.
 
The first thing I’d do is ask God for the grace of perfect contrition, then make an act of perfect contrition (or do your best).
 
John Vianney refused absolution all the time (for real sins, no absolution period). I have read that one woman of Ars who was being delayed her absolution for some reason, in the midst of her ongoing edification through the saint’s ministry, reckoned that if she were to die before receiving the sacrament then God would have known her contrition and forgiven her directly.

FWIW.
 
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