When the truth could kill

[Imitate_Therese]

I won’t go into specifics about the situation but I am in a very difficult position. I would like some advice.

Is it better to tell my spouse about something terrible that happened to them(unknowingly) that I know will break them and possibly lead them to commit suicide(unfortunately I am justified in fearing this) or should I sacrifice our relationship by lying and causing my spouse to hate me but not go insane.

I know this sounds extreme and it is, very much so. If I could keep what I know hidden I would but unfortunately that does not seem possible. Lying would explain things that are happening perfectly. I don’t want to do it, I love my spouse so much but I also don’t want my spouse to go insane from hearing what happened. I would prefer for them to spend the rest of their life angry with me than to commit suicide.

Please pray for us.

 

[jimmy]

I won’t go into specifics about the situation but I am in a very difficult position. I would like some advice.

Is it better to tell my spouse about something terrible that happened to them(unknowingly) that I know will break them and possibly lead them to commit suicide(unfortunately I am justified in fearing this) or should I sacrifice our relationship by lying and causing my spouse to hate me but not go insane.

I know this sounds extreme and it is, very much so. If I could keep what I know hidden I would but unfortunately that does not seem possible. Lying would explain things that are happening perfectly. I don’t want to do it, I love my spouse so much but I also don’t want my spouse to go insane from hearing what happened. I would prefer for them to spend the rest of their life angry with me than to commit suicide.

Please pray for us.

I can’t offer any advice but is the option that stark of a contrast? Is it necessary that if you lie he will hate you?

 

[1ke]

I suggest you seek advice from a mental health professional and your pastor.

Really, there must be a solution that involves neither lieing nor “going insane”. Perhaps solutions you have not thought of.

One cannot lie, but one also does not have to tell everything one knows.

We cannot help you. You need personal help from someone who knows what is going on.

 

[Inego_de_Loyola]

You need personal help from someone who knows what is going on.

Indeed.

 

[Steve_Jay]

I won’t go into specifics about the situation but I am in a very difficult position. I would like some advice.

Is it better to tell my spouse about something terrible that happened to them(unknowingly) that I know will break them and possibly lead them to commit suicide(unfortunately I am justified in fearing this) or should I sacrifice our relationship by lying and causing my spouse to hate me but not go insane.

I know this sounds extreme and it is, very much so. If I could keep what I know hidden I would but unfortunately that does not seem possible. Lying would explain things that are happening perfectly. I don’t want to do it, I love my spouse so much but I also don’t want my spouse to go insane from hearing what happened. I would prefer for them to spend the rest of their life angry with me than to commit suicide.

Please pray for us.

Hello,
I think Internet forums can be a bit limited due to being restricted to words only, and given across the Internet. I don’t think there can be a generalisation. To generalise could be dangerous. None of us know your exact situation.
A question I have is what would your husband do if he found out elsewhere and what would he do if he then found out you know?
I would say it is of paramount importance that you see your parish priest and perhaps speak with any support workers that your husband may have.

We can certainly pray about the situation.

 

[7armyrugrats]

Talk to your priest and mental health professionals. If the situation isthis serious then your husband needs support and professional health. So do you. I will keep you in my prayers.