When to begin annulment process

[Shorter_name]

I would like to begin the annulment process, but my situation is unique. My ex-husband and I were civilly divorced 3 years ago (before I became Catholic). Last year, he received a job opportunity in a different state and asked our children and I to move also so he could see them often. He travels for work, and stays in the home with us every other weekend. We are not “together” in any sense, and have separate bedrooms. He has been dating for months now, which honestly doesn’t bother me, but our weekend living arrangements are no longer working.
I am moving back to my home state in December, but with him dating and us not being together romantically would it be ok to begin the annulment process now? I also realize we may not be granted an annulment, but knowing is better than not knowing and I feel the process may help me come to terms with the end of our civil marriage.

As someone who has been through an annulment, I strongly encourage you to proceed. The process of writing your statement will seem very daunting, overwhelming and stressful, but the healing that comes with it will be so rewarding and peaceful and what a wonderful example to your children for them to see you at peace.

Personally, for me, I went into mine with A LOT of resentment towards my ex-husband. We had been divorced civilly for 2 years when I started the process and I sat on writing and refining the statement for a long time. I consulted a priest who helped with filing annulments and he said something very profound to me. I came to him very upset and VERY determined to force my ex to admit he was gay( he did eventually, just not on my terms) and the priest said “What he does in his life is no longer your business. That is history and if you are to heal, you need to let this part of your life close and move onto forgiveness. What you two had, the friendship, the good times, that is what you walk away with. Not resentment, regret and bitterness.”

From then on, I did what was asked of me, and prayed that my ex would cooperate with the process, which he did. We had a wonderful conversation after the final judgement was made from the Council. I realize that ,y situation is different, we had no children, etc. but I am so grateful for that healing and the realization of where we both contributed to the break down of our marriage instead of making it about one person and not the other.

 

[Shorter_name]

He has been dating for months now, which honestly doesn’t bother me.

Why would you be sorry for the OP feeling “ok” with her ex dating? They are divorced.

I recall being told by a family member that it is my duty to the church to “live as a nun” until my annulment came through. That was a 3 year process. And I’m not going to lie, being told that really made me angry. But that is me. Many would agree with my family member I suppose