When to give up on a girl

[excaliber]

Hi everyone

I know that while pursuing a mate
everyone has qualities they hope
to avoid in a mate.

If you are interested in a young lady but sence there may be a quality that you don’t like.

How long before you move on to someone else? And what is the best way to do this.

Do you just up and stop talking to them, do you just say hi and bye when you pass them in public?

Obviously she will notice that Im not going out of my way to talk to
her anymore. But I don’t want to look like a jerk.

So what do you guys think. You go to the same social club as a young lady, and you obviously had been
speaking to her every time, but she dosent show as much interest
as you would like. So when and how do you move on to another
young lady at that social group?

 

[briang72]

Sounds to me like you should start right now. Doesn’t sound as if you ever reached a courting/dating stage with this girl. If you’re showing interest and she isn’t answering, move on now. I wouldn’t worry about her unlikeable qualities if she isn’t even showing an interest in you.

Its easy for me to sit here and say what you need to do when I don’t have to do it myself, but I wasted plenty of time in similar situations. But, if another girl is attracting you, what is holding you back? If you found that another girl in the group had an attraction to you, and you to her, what would be your reason not to pursue a relationship at that point?

 

[excaliber]

Sounds to me like you should start right now. Doesn’t sound as if you ever reached a courting/dating stage with this girl. If you’re showing interest and she isn’t answering, move on now. I wouldn’t worry about her unlikeable qualities if she isn’t even showing an interest in you.

Its easy for me to sit here and say what you need to do when I don’t have to do it myself, but I wasted plenty of time in similar situations. But, if another girl is attracting you, what is holding you back? If you found that another girl in the group had an attraction to you, and you to her, what would be your reason not to pursue a relationship at that point?

I took your advise and you are correct. The one girl gave me her
phone number, but dosent have much time to talk, and at the group is just not overly interested.

So I went and spoke to the other one, and we have so much in common that we talk so much we are the last to leave.

I guess you don’t spend time trying to figure out if a girl is shy, or buisy or if she is having a bad day.

You have to move on to the next
person if conversation isn’t going any where.

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Hi everyone

I know that while pursuing a mate
everyone has qualities they hope
to avoid in a mate.

If you are interested in a young lady but sence there may be a quality that you don’t like.

How long before you move on to someone else? And what is the best way to do this.

Do you just up and stop talking to them, do you just say hi and bye when you pass them in public?

Obviously she will notice that Im not going out of my way to talk to
her anymore. But I don’t want to look like a jerk.

So what do you guys think. You go to the same social club as a young lady, and you obviously had been
speaking to her every time, but she dosent show as much interest
as you would like. So when and how do you move on to another
young lady at that social group?

I’m not sure what you’re asking here. If you’re not going out with her, there’s no reason to be even asking this question. Bottom line is do you think she’d even care if you changed your behavior? My guess is that I doubt it. If she doesn’t even care, why bother? I say just move on.

 

[srlucado]

You’ll meet a long of the wrong girls before you meet the right one.

I don’t know how old you are, but what I would suggest is not to expect to meet the girl you’re going to marry right away. So get to know some different people, see what they’re like–you’ll learn a lot about yourself, too–and instead of presuming what you will and won’t find desirable in a mate, you’ll see much of it first-hand.

That being said, you can’t force someone to be interested. If you call and she’s never available, or only seems polite rather than attracted, don’t waste your time or hers.

 

[Rascalking]

That was hard for me to learn as a young man as well.

All of men went through the same thing, and it’s sort of like an “a priori” feeling that we all get eventually.

When they say, “You’ll know” believe us-you will.

 

[excaliber]

well here is the problem.
these girls know each other!
I don’t want to go after the one that dosent show interest because
that may turn of the others.

I have phone numbers, but I only wana call one at a time.
One girl is buisy with school and work and a little girl. I can’t tell if she is to buisy or just not interested…or mabey dosent know that I like her.

I don’t want to wait to long on her,
but I don’t want to go after another girl if she is interested.

I can’t just say I like her because
that would be to forward.

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

well here is the problem.
these girls know each other!
I don’t want to go after the one that dosent show interest because
that may turn of the others.

I have phone numbers, but I only wana call one at a time.
One girl is buisy with school and work and a little girl. I can’t tell if she is to buisy or just not interested…or mabey dosent know that I like her.

I don’t want to wait to long on her,
but I don’t want to go after another girl if she is interested.

I can’t just say I like her because
that would be to forward.

I don’t know about you, but I would just go after whichever one I’m interested in. Why care about how other girls will think? That would just make you seem weak and not confident. If anything, they’d be jealous of the attention that one of them is getting from you. Seriously, you’re way over-thinking this.

 

[excaliber]

I don’t know about you, but I would just go after whichever one I’m interested in. Why care about how other girls will think? That would just make you seem weak and not confident. If anything, they’d be jealous of the attention that one of them is getting from you. Seriously, you’re way over-thinking this.

So I am over thinking things…
you could be right. You could be very right.

Well I will take your advise.
Thanks

 

[chevalier]

If you’re really interested in some girl, just walk up. Don’t need to be shy, you don’t have to wear your heart on your sleeve. If she doesn’t take that favourably, then you picked wrong in the first place. If she turns you down kindly, well, things happen. If a girl asked you and you weren’t interested, you’d have to do that too.

As for the one you’ve lost interest in, if you haven’t cross the lines of normal friendly interaction, you don’t need to give much explanation. But don’t white-lie and don’t be cruel.