When to not correct others

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Gmsod

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Hey,
So assume there is a person, A, a Catholic who is sinning in a grave way continually (e.g. missing mass) but apparently doesn’t care. If person A tells me this and I say that it’s not an option and it’s more serious than they think so they should go but person A continually runs away and brushes you off when you try to say this, should i tell person A that it is a mortal sin or would it only be venial if they don’t know so I should just not say anything more but pray that they turn. I think there are times where correcting people isn’t the right move and was wondering if this would help.
My first guess is that you get a witness then take it to the church if they refuse like JESUS said.
Seeing as person A is commuting a grave sin I feel this to be pretty important and urgent. Thanks in advance.

GOD bless!
 
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I think you try to tell people the truth. They give those rules about what makes a sin mortal. They may come to understand it is mortal at some point but until we have understanding of why and still commit to the sin, I don’t think it is mortal. By then we understand we are breaking our relationship with God. This person might have been told it is mortal already but they don’t see why. If they can’t see, then the gravity of the sin is reduced. Right?

Like if you don’t worship God but then again you don’t really know what that means. That’s a person that needs to learn still.
 
So what you are saying is I tell them it is mortal, correct? I’m also looking for citation from some authoritative source as well if you have one. Also I might be wrong but in order for it to be mortal you need the three things and one of them is full knowledge and I’m assumong that means you know it is mortal so I doubt you have to know why in order for it to be mortal. Because they know they are cutting themselves off from GOD even if they don’t understand
Thanks!

GOD bless!
 
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If you are a Baptist, why are you concerned about this? Most Catholics know that they have a Sunday obligation to attend Mass. You don’t need to remind them. Nagging someone to attend Church is rarely a good idea. Try setting a good example instead.
 
I am ‘baptist’ (in the sense that my family is and that’s how I was raised) but want to join RCIA because I think Catholicism is true.
 
Do you have some sort of authority or responsibility for this person? Are they your spouse, child or godchild? If not, then, best to tend to your own life and simply be a good example.
 
Pray for guidance and go where he leads you. If he asks you to speak, then speak with the love and concern in your heart for their ultimate well-being. Jesus said the Holy Spirit will tell us what to say. He just asks that we be willing to say it!
 
Admonishing the sinner is a spiritual act of mercy. But, we have greater obligations to different people. So for instance family is a higher priority. And we have to be prudent about when, how, and how often. And remember, ‘a true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.’
Gmsod said:
should i tell person A that it is a mortal sin or would it only be venial if they don’t know so I should just not say anything
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I don’t think this should come into your consideration. Our judgment shouldn’t be formed based on the idea God will be merciful on a sinner if we don’t tell them about the gravity of their sin. That is presumption. There may be other reasons you shouldn’t say something, but this shouldn’t be one.
 
I’d say keep your mouth shut about it, but be a good friend if you haven’t already burned that bridge. The sin is between A and God and it is A’s choice to make. And as you say, A already knows it’s a sin. I know lots of people who don’t attend Mass on Sunday. I know lots of people who commit other sins that only affect them.

Here’s the problem with confronting people like that. They will tend to distance themselves from you and you won’t get the chance to lead them by example. People will come back to the Church in their own good time.You just need to be there for them.

There is an old saying, “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It won’t work and it irritates the pig.” Rubbing people’s noses in their sins just alienates them.
 
Attending Mass on Sunday is the first of the five precepts of the Church. Making holy the sabbath -
each week - is necessary to re-orient yourself to your final end - that is, God. It is also necessary because God commanded it. It is the third commandment. The sin of intentionally missing Mass is a mortal sin because to the lack of concern shown for offending God in this way. Here is the catechism reference. http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_P75.HTM
 
Depends on your social skills. If you have good communication skills and an established track record of connecting with others go for it. If not, I would step very carefully. I was corrected along these lines by a traditionalist Catholic for what she perceived as a transgression or sin on my part and I never forgot it. It was one of most unChristian things I have ever experienced. It definitely fed my distrust of traditionalists across the board. You could do a lot more damage than good.
 
Thanks all for the replies.

And yes @exnihilo you are right now that I hear it out that way it seems pretty presumptuous. Thanks.

What I seen to be getting is to not do it in this case because person A seems like they wouldn’t listen and it might burn a bridge for later when they might listen so I should pray and lead by example and love?

GOD bless!
Always Praying for y’all!
 
“Gmsod1d
So what you are saying is I tell them it is mortal, correct? I’m also looking for citation from some authoritative source as well if you have one. Also I might be wrong but in order for it to be mortal you need the three things and one of them is full knowledge and I’m assumong that means you know it is mortal so I doubt you have to know why in order for it to be mortal. Because they know they are cutting themselves off from GOD even if they don’t understand
Thanks!”

You cannot tell anyone they have committed a mortal sin because you do not know the mind of that person and you cannot know if such a person knows an action is of grave matter. Only the priest can do that.
 
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thistle said:
You cannot tell anyone they have committed a mortal sin because you do not know the mind of that person and you cannot know if such a person knows an action is of grave matter. Only the priest can do that.
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Not even the priest knows a person’s heart or mind. However, they can counsel a person on what is grave matter. Maybe that is what you meant?
 
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Gmsod said:
So assume there is a person, A, a Catholic who is sinning in a grave way continually (e.g. missing mass) but apparently doesn’t care. …
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If they keep brushing you off it is probably a good sign that you should just leave it alone. If they keep coming to church the last thing you want to do is scare them off. If they already know the basic facts of what the church teaches then it is up to them. To continually press the issue will just drive them away.

The fact is that even committed Christians do not always keep all of the church rules. They love God and even volunteer to serve others. Are these people in mortal sin? I certainly am not one to judge. For instance I know a couple who divide their time between the Catholic Church and the Baptist Church. They don’t always follow the rule about going to Mass and go to this other Church instead. So they are still honoring God in their minds. To commit a mortal sin means to turn your back on God knowingly. These people are some of the most committed Christians I know, even missionaries. They are not knowingly turning their back on God. They just haven’t come to the full knowledge yet of the Catholic Church. They may have heard there is some rule that you can’t miss a Mass, however, whether they actually consider that from God or just some man made rule is another thing.

You can’t unknowingly commit a mortal sin. Missing Mass on Sunday is a conditioned thing. It’s not like murder. Murder is something that is ingrained on our conscience. We don’t even need the Church to tell us it is wrong. However, missing Mass on Sunday is not ingrained in us. In fact, it might not even make sense to a lot of people in our casual society. So it requires being taught but also having the maturity to understand the teaching such that it is really a command to honor the Lord one day a week, part of the original 10 commandments.

We are all in different places and we all grow towards the truth if we are seeking to follow Jesus. We need to pray for others and give them time to mature, not bash their heads every time we see them.

Finally, since you are a convert coming into the church you will realize that the church is not a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners. Remember parable where Jesus says not to take out the weeds until the end because you might also take out the wheat. The Catholic Church is filled with sinners and saints. It is not just all wheat like you might see in some Protestant churches.

And, one last thing, consider giving them a book or CD on Catholicism for this person this Christmas. People may often listen to a CD when they are alone, whereas they might not listen to you especially if you come across condescending. The most important thing is that you show that you care for the person.

God Bless
 
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