L
Laura_B
Guest
Hi:
I seem to run into this dilemma occasionally and I thought I’d come here for some guidance.
When you see something at Mass that isn’t right, how do you determine whether to say something and how do you do it charitably. I don’t want to be the Mass police but sometimes it seems that something MUST be said, and if I don’t who will?
This latest case happened yesterday. At the processional, the lector (a teenager, probably her first time as lector, and so perhaps didn’t realize the problem), wearing what I would call a “petal skirt” (picture an uneven hemline with flounces resembling flower petals). Well, from where I was sitting it looked as if the “petals” were especially short in the back and, though I think there was some sort of lining, when she bowed at the Altar, the edge of this lining and the end of the “petals” came just about the very edge of her tush. Frankly, she nearly gave the congregation quite a show and I could see I was not the only one distracted by her. Actually, she did the readings etc quite well.
I ended up praying and thinking about the situation all through Mass, though I tried not to. I wondered if I should say something and if, so, how to say it charitably. I finally asked God that if He wanted me to say something, to just have us cross paths after Mass and give me the words to say. (Because of circumstances (ie, where we were sitting and such), this seemed extremely unlikely).
Well, as things went, it did happen that our paths did cross after Mass and we were relatively alone. I complimented her on her reading but also ended up blurting out (albeit sheepishly), “but your skirt was so short you nearly mooned the whole congregation, you might keep that in mind for next time.” Then emphatically complimented her on the fine job she did as lector.
I probably hurt her feelings and I’ve been thinking over the situation since then. Should I have said something? If I hadn’t, what would have happened (ie, would anyone else have said anything?) Was this perhaps food for thought for her? Does this qualify as charitable correction?
Anyone have any advice as to what to do about similar situations?
As I said I don’t want to be the Mass police but if nothing is said, nothing would change. Doesn’t it seem that people should know this stuff?
God bless you all.
I seem to run into this dilemma occasionally and I thought I’d come here for some guidance.
When you see something at Mass that isn’t right, how do you determine whether to say something and how do you do it charitably. I don’t want to be the Mass police but sometimes it seems that something MUST be said, and if I don’t who will?
This latest case happened yesterday. At the processional, the lector (a teenager, probably her first time as lector, and so perhaps didn’t realize the problem), wearing what I would call a “petal skirt” (picture an uneven hemline with flounces resembling flower petals). Well, from where I was sitting it looked as if the “petals” were especially short in the back and, though I think there was some sort of lining, when she bowed at the Altar, the edge of this lining and the end of the “petals” came just about the very edge of her tush. Frankly, she nearly gave the congregation quite a show and I could see I was not the only one distracted by her. Actually, she did the readings etc quite well.
I ended up praying and thinking about the situation all through Mass, though I tried not to. I wondered if I should say something and if, so, how to say it charitably. I finally asked God that if He wanted me to say something, to just have us cross paths after Mass and give me the words to say. (Because of circumstances (ie, where we were sitting and such), this seemed extremely unlikely).
Well, as things went, it did happen that our paths did cross after Mass and we were relatively alone. I complimented her on her reading but also ended up blurting out (albeit sheepishly), “but your skirt was so short you nearly mooned the whole congregation, you might keep that in mind for next time.” Then emphatically complimented her on the fine job she did as lector.
I probably hurt her feelings and I’ve been thinking over the situation since then. Should I have said something? If I hadn’t, what would have happened (ie, would anyone else have said anything?) Was this perhaps food for thought for her? Does this qualify as charitable correction?
Anyone have any advice as to what to do about similar situations?
As I said I don’t want to be the Mass police but if nothing is said, nothing would change. Doesn’t it seem that people should know this stuff?
God bless you all.
('you nearly mooned the whole congregation) well…actually I smothered a small chukle… 
