When to stop praying for someone?

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Sirach2

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Matthew 13:12 says, “To him who has, more will be given, but from him who has not, even that little will be taken from him.”

I have decided to pray during Lent for four persons who have left our Church, in the hopes that my sacrifices and prayers will be helpful in obtaining the grace for them to return to the bosom of Holy Mother Church. It occurred to me today that maybe these prayers would be better served upon “him who has, so that more will be given” rather than attempt what may be impossible. I realize grace is never wasted, and if these four are not open to it, God will bestow grace on another who is in most need of His mercy.

I’m wondering if it is just a temptation to cause me to quit my practice on their behalf, or is God letting me know that I should use my prayer efforts on another more worthy cause.
 
Keep praying for them! Prayer is never wasted. I cannot imagine where I would be had people in my life not been praying for my return to God. You may be the only person praying on their behalf, and that may make all the difference.
 
I agree that it’s premature to stop praying for these people. The time may come, but not necessarily right now.

Sometimes, too, the answer may become that you need to change your prayer. For example, I had a friend with cancer and, of course, I prayed he would get well. But every test they ran was a little worse than the one before it and clearly he wasn’t going to move past this. While it was difficult to make this change, eventually my prayer changed to prayers for his happy and peaceful death. And that’s exactly what he had.
 
I’m not sure off hand, but there is an OT passage where God tells one of his prophets to stop praying for “these people because I will not listen.” Their abominations have become too much.

I would not use the passage from Matthew as a reason not to pray for somebody. Christ came to save the lost. Faith is a gift. I will pray that God gift the person for whom I am praying the gift of faith. Open his/her heart to respond to the gift. Know that God will not go against anybody’s will.

So when do we stop praying for another person? When was I specifically given the Old Testament passage not to pray for a certain person?
Our prayers are communication with God, a “lifting up of heart and mind to God.” As we lift our heart and mind to God, we are also lifting up the person for whom we are praying. Our prayer is a gift. St. Teresa of Calcutta, was reminded in her darkness that incense travels upward. Our relationship with God is not a matter of the consolation we feel with God. Yes, continue to lift up the people for whom you have to pray to God throughout Lent.

While we are not called to look for consolation, we are not called to self-pity either. If we are too close to a situation, that is a possibility. We hunger for a spouse to return to us, for a child to return to Faith in the Church and become distressed when our prayers appear to yield no results. We know that St. Monica never stopped praying for her son Augustine’s conversion. The result is Church history. Yet, we may called to take a momentary break when personal emotions overwhelm the reasons that we are praying. We stop praying when our prayer is no longer a gift for the person that we are lifting up.
 
I also have the same question. Am praying for some people right now. Dunno what the situation is, but if you can manage, place a green Scapular among their belongings and pray the prayer written on it, daily. I did this for the people I am praying for.
 
It is very encouraging that the community has all been of the same mind - that I should not redirect my prayer for these four to others who are more able to use the graces. Many thanks to all of you who responded!

This morning as I awoke with this matter on my mind, another scripture came to mind, the one from St. Mark 4:15 regarding the seed. Satan comes to carry off the good seed that was sown. God speaks His word first. I suspect this was a temptation to have me give up my Lenten practice for them. Now all the more, I will increase my efforts for them.
 
If you promised to pray for the four persons for Lent, keep your original promise/ plan and pray for the four persons during Lent.
When Lent ends, then you can stop.
It’s better to not change your prayer plan in the middle of the project, unless of course you wanted to add other people.
God will put the grace where he wills it to go.
 
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Dunno what the situation is, but if you can manage, place a green Scapular among their belongings and pray the prayer written on it, daily. I did this for the people I am praying for.
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I did actually the same thing plus a holy candle next the picture. I’ve been praying for the last two years and the frustrating part is that i don’t feel its made even a dent. What happens if you are trying to change yourself? I’ve gone through two rosary beads so far and I’ve asked the carmelite nuns to say prayers with me?
 
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Accept that the prayer is having an effect even if you don’t see it. God may be testing your persistence
 
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Psalms62 said:
I’ve been praying for the last two years and the frustrating part is that i don’t feel its made even a dent.
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God gave me a picture years ago when I had prayed for many years for my husband’s conversion, but did not see any results. If you can believe this, I prayed several more years than St. Monica did for Augustine.

He helped me understand that these prayers were like putting money in a bank, and when the time is right, the whole amount can be applied to a soul entirely, all at once. When he died unexpectedly and without the sacraments, I wondered about his salvation.

One day during the Sunday Mass, I was aware of my husband’s presence, so strong and unmistakable. I asked God if this meant he was saved, and the consolation I received at that moment was exceedingly strong and flooded me with tears of joy. Later that night, I was struck by these words as I prayed Evening Prayer from the LOTH, Sunday Week 1. “Praise be God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all consolation!” These words in the reading confirmed that the joy I experienced at mass was indeed from God, Who so kindly ministered to me to remove all doubt concerning my husband.

So don’t give up! Put your prayers in the bank!
 
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Never stop praying for them!

Holy lady, the Mother Church, has warm bosoms for everyone! Their hearts will change, I’m sure
 
Sirach2 said:
God gave me a picture years ago when I had prayed for many years for my husband’s conversion, but did not see any results. If you can believe this, I prayed several more years than St. Monica did for Augustine.
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Yeah, when I got serious about praying for my husband’s conversion, I prayed every day for about 2 years.

Being the impatient sort I finally said one Saturday to God that I was praying and praying and not seeing any movement happening. I asked God to please make something happen soon. I was also praying to St Francis de Sales who was famous for converting Calvinists, which my husband was, and I had gotten St Francis de Sales in the saint random generator for the year and I happened to be making this prayer in a church named after him.

That night my husband dropped dead.
The priest who did his funeral service was from St Monica’s. A church where my husband had sometimes been to Mass and Adoration with me. She is also my confirmation saint, long story.

A priest told me it was quite possible God converted my husband at death.

God gives surprising “answers” sometimes.
 
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What a beautiful confirmation I received at Mass today during the readings. It was the story of Moses after God’s people made the molten golden calf. The Responsorial Psalm read, "Then he [God] spoke of exterminating them, but Moses, his chosen one, withstood him in the breach to turn back his destructive wrath.
R. Remember us, O Lord, as you favor your people.

I can only conclude that my sacrifices must be having a good effect, and that Satan sent these thought to stop me from praying for them.
 
There are many so-called coincidences that it seemed God was making every effort to console you. Thanks for sharing. We have many similarities in this regard. I used to go to daily mass for years and years, and wondered why I wasn’t seeing any fruit? It can be discouraging, but after that word picture from God, I began to trust in the “bank” deposits of prayer.
 
I had also been praying for more/ increased confidence in God.
He responded by putting me in a position where I had to have that or fall into despair.
It has increased my confidence in God, but I’m now kind of afraid to ask him for anything more 🙂
 
I thought you should pray as long as you have time for it. You could also say the Sacred Heart prayer. https://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/heart/sh_novena.htm
But there is another version in which we ask God to remember all those who asked us to pray for them. I have heard of people who have like 100 names they mention when praying. Seems too much. I like to mention a few person I am thinkinh about in this time of my life but then stop mention them or maybe just not as much. Or you could just pray like the intercessory prayer at the OF. Not mentioning specific names but still praying.
 
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Sirach2 said:
It occurred to me today that maybe these prayers would be better served upon “him who has, so that more will be given” rather than attempt what may be impossible.
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I think you may be misinterpreting that parable.
 
Actually, Moses asked God to hear the prayers of Sts Abraham and Jacob. Protestants cant say that asking God to hear the prayers of deceased saints is wrong. Moses did.
 
I continue to pray for my ex wife (now annulled marriage, so not sure of the technical relationship vernacular). Seems futile sometimes, as she has a severe mental illness that has caused her to abandon me and her children in favor of reading the Bible all day every day. She hasn’t stepped foot outside in years and has no connection to the outside world. Is there a point that the prayer is doing less good for her than harm to me and our children? Not sure…

That said, my priest said you can’t pray for an outcome. Since, by that logic someone else could pray for the opposite outcome and whose prayers would be answered? The person who prays more fervently??
 
I am very devoted to the Sacred Heart. In fact, I DVR-taped the Litany of the Sacred Heart and Benediction from EWTN and pray it many times a week. The prayers you posted are going to be a nice addition also - thanks!
 
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