When white folk won't describe black folk by their race

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Country_Gal

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Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
 
I’ve tried to do that before but simply saying someone has “dark skin” could be such a wide range that it doesn’t really narrow things down.
 
Country_Gal said:
Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
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It is called “political correctness” and is driven by an oversensitivity in regard to not offending people. I have met people that believe it is racist to notice another person’s race. It is completely whacked out thinking.
 
Country_Gal said:
Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
Click to expand...
Imagine this: if you were the white person in the room and someone goes " that white gal over there", referring to you and you heard yourself being referred to as such, would you like it?

Or say you were fat, not fat is a descriptive word. Would you say within hearing distance to the fat lady, “oh that fat lady over there ordered that”, and she heard you describing her as fat. She wouldn’t like it, would she?

People just don’t want to come across as racist. But want to appear polite, just use the adjective in a non-derogatory manner. and you should be okay.
 
Deus_tecum said:
It is called “political correctness” and is driven by an oversensitivity in regard to not offending people. I have met people that believe it is racist to notice another person’s race. It is completely whacked out thinking.
Click to expand...
You still have to be sensitive about it though, if people have experienced repeated prejudice you’re ham-fisted carelessness will hurt them more. It’s important to see things from the other side. If you’re white, then you won’t know what it’s like to experience racism from cradle to grave. So you’re in no place to really comment on whether people are being sensitive or not.
 
Political Correctness is a two edged sword. It can be for the general good and sensibility of the individual or group, BUT when taken to extremes can be an intimidating tyrant.

It all comes down to ‘motive’ and ‘understanding’ - both of which ‘we’ humans are often not very good with. Oh, for more discernment!
 
Seaborgium said:
Imagine this: if you were the white person in the room and someone goes " that white gal over there", referring to you and you heard yourself being referred to as such, would you like it?

Or say you were fat, not fat is a descriptive word. Would you say within hearing distance to the fat lady, “oh that fat lady over there ordered that”, and she heard you describing her as fat. She wouldn’t like it, would she?

People just don’t want to come across as racist. But want to appear polite, just use the adjective in a non-derogatory manner. and you should be okay.
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Being singled out as the “white guy” for identification purposes wouldn’t bother me at all. What does bother me is when the price for various services/goods quoted to me is much higher than the price quoted to the black man in line behind me (happens all the time in a Third World country I spend a lot of time in).
 
If I was the only White person in the room, I wouldn’t mind if someone identifiedme to a third person by my race.
 
I wouldn’t mind being described for identification purposes as the “chubby white gal over there with the long hair”. I am a chubby white gal with long hair, after all!

And I have no problem using race to describe someone else. I see nothing wrong with telling someone, for example, the person they are looking for is the “black man wearing the blue shirt and khaki pants over there”.
 
A black woman I worked with once described me as the “tall, good looking white guy.” Now I’m not sure if I should be insulted or flattered. 🙂

But yes, I can see how it could be troubling. And as much as it makes me cringe, I do cringe a little on the inside when I describe a black person as being black. Or African American, or whatever.
 
Seaborgium said:
You still have to be sensitive about it though, if people have experienced repeated prejudice you’re ham-fisted carelessness will hurt them more. It’s important to see things from the other side. If you’re white, then you won’t know what it’s like to experience racism from cradle to grave. So you’re in no place to really comment on whether people are being sensitive or not.
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This is absurd. A good friend of mine, a young white woman, has been the victim of racial slurs from Asian Canadians… it happens all the time - both ways. In many parts of my home city in Canada, white people are a minority and those of Asian descent are the majority and some of them, like some white people, are racists…
 
Country_Gal said:
Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
Click to expand...
We are all part of the Human Race, whether white, black, Asian, African, what does it matter we are all God’s children, I know when I visited Scotland - United Kingdom a few years ago, and I asked for a train ticket the person selling the ticket asked me was I Irish with my Irish accent I said politely yes, he then turned around said “Oh your a Papist” at first I was a bit stunned, but I quickly got my voice back and said to him “Well my religion was not based on a leg over” and walked away. I am very aware now after this incident of being careful not to offend, I am praying for you Country Gal that you will return to the pearl of great price that you have put in your pocket and forgotten, may the Lord grant you the grace to go back to practising your faith, bought at a great price by Our Lord on the Cross. :gopray::signofcross:
 
Seaborgium said:
You still have to be sensitive about it though, if people have experienced repeated prejudice you’re ham-fisted carelessness will hurt them more. It’s important to see things from the other side. If you’re white, then you won’t know what it’s like to experience racism from cradle to grave. So you’re in no place to really comment on whether people are being sensitive or not.
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Well said.👍
 
Country_Gal said:
Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
Click to expand...
Yes there is something of a social taboo about this…but it will vary from place to place and person to person.

Media and political groups aside, it has been my experience that most people (of any race) don’t think twice about it. They readily see it as a proper and useful descriptor.
As time goes on, there should be less and less problems in this area.

Peace
James
 
I think it is ridiculous! Being called black or white is not an insult. I am Mexican and I do not get offended when being called brown because I AM. 😃

I think it stems from people (especially minorities) who think the lighter you are, the better. I know I have heard black people talk about be light-skinned as a good thing and the same with Latins. 🤷
 
Country_Gal said:
Ever have it happen that a white person will totally avoid describing a black or Asian person by their race, even when it would be easiest way to differentiate them from others in the room? They will describe a person by their clothing when they are the only Asian in the room.

Someone did that the other day about a person we would be
carpooling with. Then I met the woman and she was black. I had asked her what she looked like! In this area there aren’t very many black people.

Is there a social taboo against this?
Click to expand...
In my parish, I’m one of a handful of white folks, and the only one in a wheelchair. So I am often referred to (and even refer to myself) as “the white guy in the wheelchair.” But in your situation, I suppose that I would have expected (since you asked what someone ‘looked like’) that it would naturally be mentioned that the person was black - particularly if she was, in fact, in a place where there are few blacks.

But, in the end, does it matter? I would think not.

Clinton
 
You can take it from the kids…
When I moved to a southern state to teach, I had a lot more “students of color.” In a small group setting, as I was the reading teacher, I kept referring to the students as African American just in general conversation. I thought that was proper. One little girl asked me why I do that? I said do what? She said call us African Americans. I asked her what she wanted me to call her. She said black. Oh, I had so much to learn!!! Still do…
 
It’s not about racism, it’s a frame of reference thing, based on our perception of the world around us, ourselves, and what we consider the “norm” (even though it can be argued as being silly).

We see ourselves as the norm, and those unlike us as the deviant (the terms norm and deviant are in no way offered as perjoratives).

The differences (cultural, racial, gender) are significant in our descriptions of others, because they so strikingly differ from our paradigm.

An even more dramatic example can be seen in descriptions of occupations that are normally thought of as belonging to a specific gender (not just chairman to chairperson, et al)…but think of the very common description: HE is a MALE nurse.

HE certainly is male, but we feel the redundancy is needed because the thought of a man serving in a traditionally female occupation upsets our experience.
 
Country_Gal said:
Is there a social taboo against this?
Click to expand...
Entirely depends on where you are. If your place of employment is heavily into diversity, I don’t recommend identifying people by race if you want to be happy there. If you have to direct someone to locate a person they don’t know, use room numbers and then leave it to them to ask for the person by name.
 
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