When your wife is arrested?

  • Thread starter Thread starter BioCatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Black Jaque:
ByzCath,

My point was more that double standards may actually be appropriate. Feminism has inculcated us with this notion that equality is best. But no one really seems happy with equality, we all want to be treated according to our needs and abilities and in our situations.
Click to expand...
Double standards are never appropriate in law.
For example: If my wife clocked me with a fry pan, and I was able to retreat and gather my senses, I would think I could then walk back into the room and wrest the pan from her, rendering her harmless. Without help from the authorities. This would be entirely different if I happened to be in a wheelchair recovering from an auto accident.
Click to expand...
But in this example, if you were able to do so, you would be guilty of battery and as this is your spouse you would be changed under the domestic abuse statues.

Your only defense would be that you were attacked first and were attempting to render her harmless. Now as you did not call in the authorities it would be your word against her word. Where do you think that would stand?
 
40.png
Fergal:
And yes there are times when I have deserved the fryin’ pan.
Click to expand...
I was floored when I read this.

Please tell me when is there ever such a time that anyone deserves to be attacked with a deadly weapon.
 
Double standards are never appropriate in law.
Click to expand...
I don’t know about that. It seems perfectly peaceful living in a place where women can’t walk around bare-breasted (except for breastfeeding), while men can. I have no desire to visit or live in NYC.
But in this example, if you were able to do so, you would be guilty of battery and as this is your spouse you would be changed under the domestic abuse statues.
Click to expand...
Only if my spouse then called the authorities, which would only happen if she was so hideously vindictive, or if I made it clear that I intended more than mere rendering her harmless. In the latter case, I would deserve it. In the former case, I guess that’s a chance I would take, and I might very well unjustly suffer in prison because of it. So be it, it wouldn’t be the first time a man has suffered unjustly because of his wife’s actions. The goal is to get her into heaven, regardless of whether she deserves it or not. Preventing her from killing me, while at the same time buying her time to repent is the way to go.
 
40.png
Darrel:
Oh Come On,

She cracked him one little boo-boo on his head. I can use a can of soup to kill someone or a ball point pen. Anything can be a lethal weapon. She lost her head and smacked him one in a fight. If she had thrust a knife at him and tried to kill him I would have said to shoot her.
Click to expand...
you seem to be equating the severity of the charge (that is, the crime) by the damage done; however, that is not how crimes are charged.
40.png
Darrel:
If she was actualy commited this gent would have been hospitalized for sure or at least would have attempted to defend himself. Check out his answer to the grand jury.
Click to expand...
I would probably have answered in a similar fashion; anyone swinging an object at my head which had the potential to maim or kill me would lead me to the conclusion that they were trying to do just that. The fact that he most likely ducked or moved back - an almost automatic reaction to one who is being swung at - is a very simple explanation why there was so little damage; in general women are shorter than men and so have a shorter reach; she had enough reach to be able to make contact but movement away at the time of contact would lessen the blow.

Again, none of that changes the fact that she was in a rage - out of control - and swund a deadly weapon at his head. From all appearances, she was not trying to “crack him a little boo boo”. From all appearances she was trying to kill him.
40.png
Darrel:
I have heard some BS in my life but the above quote takes the cake. Why did he not pull his gun out and tell her to drop the “deadly pan”? The above quote is called letting your wife swing in the wind.

-D
Click to expand...
A) apparently you have never been questioned by an attorney; in particular a District Attorney; that is what the attorney was asking for in a response, and he would have gooten that response, effectively, if the answer had been different.

B) He may have let her swing in the wind, or he may not have; the D.A. could have made heis case without the testimony. And if she “swung in the wind”, who put her there? She swung the pan, and that is how she ended up swinging in the wid; he didn’t put her there. She did.
 
Black Jaque:
I don’t know about that. It seems perfectly peaceful living in a place where women can’t walk around bare-breasted (except for breastfeeding), while men can. I have no desire to visit or live in NYC.
Click to expand...
Now you just had to go and do something that really gets me peeved.

I said earlier, “And then you also must not live in New York. Women have the right in law to go topless in public.” You then bring up NYC.

I do not live in NYC nor was I in any way making a reference to NYC. I live in Rochester, New York. When we in Western New York say “New York” we are speaking of the State not the City of New York, which is correctly refered to as New York City or by one of the borough names.

Sorry, rant off.

That is not an example of a double standard. As men are covered under indecent exposure laws. It is just different parts can’t be exposed. What you are talking about is a double standard like having certain fountians for only one race to drink out of.
 
I have read almost 85% of the posts and what I find upsetting is that alot of posters was calling him a liar or saying they have a hard time believing it, Why? Are you guys saying things like this don’t happen? Reality check, they do. Why was he wrong for arresting his wife? If it was the other way around we would all be saying to his wife, I’'m glad you called the cops and he is in Jail.
Sympathy goes both ways.

I agree that we should follow what Jesus teaches us, but what he did was right by law. Not biblical law but worldly law. What if she was very abusive to him and that is not the first time she hit him. Some of the poster used the old saying of “2 sides to every story.”
In a court system there are 3 sides, hers, his and the side the courts believe.

Why don’t we just Pray for the both of them, even if you guys believe him or not. The bottom line is that something went seriously wrong in their marriage and someone is in jail because of it.
 
40.png
BioCatholic:
actually my wife and i arent in love anymore. basically we hate each other. she klinked me with a frying pan, and it landed her in jail. albeit i helped put her there, where she stayed for 4 months until her sentence was commuted.

she has since made my life a living hell. i can honestly say that if she left the planet (or even the continent) my life would be sooooo much better.

i have getogethers at my house of my police, paramedic, and classmate frriends. and most of them are there to avoid being at home with their wives. oftentimes, ill let one or more guys stay over because they just dont want to go home. im the guy with a house all his own now.

i dont think i know a man who, when talking to me honestly, says he is happy in his marriage. i sure know for a while that i pretended to be happy and just did what she said and wanted to keep her quiet and off my back.

i cant fathom the fact after 8 years you are still that happy. after a couple of years for me, i dreaded going home. i know the church’s teaching on divorce, but id positively rather go through life single than spend another 50 years with that woman. and she feels exactly the same way.
Click to expand...
The above was from an aug 27th post about marriage. This may be helpful to in understand the op’s feelings.
 
40.png
ByzCath:
Maybe if he did hit her first, but there would be marks and/or she would have said that he did.
Click to expand...
maybe there were marks and maybe she did say that he hit her. on the other hand, maybe she’s nuts and it was completely unprovoked. the truth is, we will never know what actually happened because we weren’t there and we’ve only heard one side of the story. all we will know is that it is a very very sad situation and we should all be praying for BOTH of them.
 
40.png
BioCatholic:
i made it to my neighbor’s house down the street, another police officer, and because i was still “on duty” and VERY angry, i arrested my wife for both spousal assault and aggravated assult on a police officer.
Click to expand...
Wow, you cops are such heroes. You deserve ALL the praise you get.
 
40.png
BioCatholic:
ive been married about 2.5 yrs, and I am a student as well as a volunteer police officer and paramedic for my county. what it boils down to is when coming home from a police duty shift, my wife met me at the door yelling and ready to fight about something. after we got in, it turned ugly, and i said some things i probably shouldnt have, so she hit me with a frying pan and split my forehead open.

now the thing is, florida has a domestic violence law that absolutely requires jail time for spousal assault, as well as the fact our county considers a person a sworn officer until they come home from shift and call dispatch to say they have arrived home safely (to make sure some whacko we arrested doesnt shoot us in our driveway and we’re not found till next day)

i made it to my neighbor’s house down the street, another police officer, and because i was still “on duty” and VERY angry, i arrested my wife for both spousal assault and aggravated assult on a police officer.

my wife pleaded down to avoid 15 years in prison, but she will end up serving 5 years before its over. through it all, my local church community has given me no support whatsoever, and consider ME in the wrong because i arrested, filed charges and testified to a grand jury against her. somehow i think that they consider my actions are breaking the marital bond, and i should have turned the other cheek. now i did testify again at the sentencing reccomendation hearing (very angrily and out of spite), and the testimony most definitely extended her sentence.

my ? is, am i in the wrong for what i did? “Render unto Caeser…” state laws ect. and so forth? i really dont feel all that bad about it, i arrest people who commit similar crimes all the time. But what does the church really say about something like this?
Click to expand...
From one paramedic to another…I know you must have been taught how to diffuse a situation. You were still in uniform and still officially on duty. You can’t backtrack now, but on a professional level, you should have handled it differently.

As for women assaulting men, it happens more than most people know, definitely more than the media let on.
 
I am curious…what were you doing when she went, got the pan and swung. I don’t know what kind of training you had, but if you can’t dodge an angry woman with a cooking utensil, what in the h…l are you doing on the streets? I have many friends who are cops, real cops, not “volunteer” cops. You would be the laughing stock of the county if you lived here. They subdue really big guys that are armed with much worse than a frying pan. If I had ever lost my mind to the point of striking my husband, he would simply have grabbed my arm as I swung and that would have been the end of it…and I am strong, as in can pick up 200 lbs and walk with it. There is a lot missing inbetween the lines and it sounds like this went down exactly to your liking.
It is obvious to me at least that you don’t love her.
 
This thread is too long to read through entirely so I’ll risk the posibility of repeating some questions…

Was it a cast iron frying pan or one of those cheap teflon jobs?

Was it in her hand when you walked in the door?

How is it you were unable to get a hand up to deflect the blow?

Personally, I think your story is just that…a story.

But, if true, you are in need of some serious psychological help. I suggest you start with your local priest. Maybe you can get past your ego, vengence and vindictiveness long enough to think about why your fellow parishoners have shunned you?
 
A couple of things here:
  1. For everybody saying he should have been able to stop her from hitting him, remember: we’re the most off guard when we’re in the privacy of our home, no matter what your profession is. And when you’re off guard, things happen even quicker.
  2. For everybody who thinks he only had a “boo-boo” or in wasn’t that big of a deal, it’s only a frying pan, try this little experiment: go get a watermelon, secure it to a post, and take a frying pan and whack it. hit the watermelon with the bottom of the pan, then try it at an angle. Then tell me it’s no big deal.
 
Bio,
I tell you this, I’d throw her in the clink too. I’d probably legally separate from her too. She hit you once, she’ll do it again given the right circumstances and this time it could be worse.
 
What ever happened for better or worse in your marriage vows. So far you did not mention why she was at you, there are two sides in every story, she must have a reason for coming at you, but you did not mention this. I must admit she should not of hit you with a frying pan, all newely weds have problems regardless of what, you both should have sit down and discuss this, instead of arresting her, remember she is you wife and not some stranger on the street . To have her go through this public humilation and for you as well, this could have been avoided behind closed doors between a husband and a wife. You should have ask the lord for wisdom and patience in this matter, anger makes us .

God bless .
 
What ever happened for better or worse in your marriage vows. So far you did not mention why she was at you, there are two sides in every story, she must have a reason for coming at you, but you did not mention this. I must admit she should not of hit you with a frying pan, all newely weds have problems regardless of what, you both should have sit down and discuss this, instead of arresting her, remember she is you wife and not some stranger on the street . To have her go through this public humilation and for you as well, this could have been avoided behind closed doors between a husband and a wife. You should have ask the lord for wisdom and patience in this matter, anger is a repressed spirt it will only give the devil a footstool.

God bless .
 
Hello BioCatholic,

A man pushed his wife out of the car (at about ten miles per hour) then backed up over her. He could not stay at the seen because there was a warrant out for his arrest so he fled.

In the hospital, the woman said, “boy is he going to get it when I get home.”

Whattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! HAVE THIS GUY ARRESTED!!! Put him in jail and throw away the key.

Modern laws to take one person to jail in domestic violence cases, regardless of spousal refusal to make charges, is a very good thing. You did the right thing. You did the lawfull thing. You did the only action which will protect society from domestic violence.
 
There is an awful lot of speculation on this thread, as in:
she was trying to kill him
people who do this sort of thing will do it to others,
that she will abuse children…

Personally, the most sane has been pnewton.
But i’m not going to speculate any more on this, I just want to give 2 examples. I’m just telling what happened, not making any judgements on right or wrong…

My next door neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. R., have been married for nearly 50 years. They are good neighbors, salt of the earth type of people that one can depend on when in need. I’ve lived next door to them for over 15 years and have spent quite a bit of time there, as Mrs. R considers me one of “her kids”. They are obviously best friends. Rarely does one see Mr. R without Mrs. R, and since Mr.R retired, they often go on road trips together. People who don’t like each other don’t hang out together. I personally have never seen them in an arguement(what they do in private I can’t say) and always speak well of the other. Many years ago, Mrs. R shot Mr. R…gut shot him. He did not have her arrested, he did not testify against her, she spent no time in prison. She is glad that she didn’t kill him, and for his part, he figures that he had it coming. They kinda laugh about it now in the sense of the crazy things people do when they are young and stupid and when one pushes another to the breaking point. They do not have an abusive relationship, and all 4 of their now adult children will tell you that their parents have a good marriage.

The other is more recent from an article I read in the paper. A woman who had been engaged to a man who broke off their engagement a week before their wedding (for the 3rd time) shot her ex-fiance when he came to tell her that it was off. She was arrested for attempted murder. Her ex-fiance did testify…on her behalf. He literally begged the judge on the behalf of the woman who had shot him, saying that he had pushed her past her breaking point and that she was not a danger to anyone else, and that she would not ever be likely to hurt anyone else. The judge took all this into consideration and gave her a 2 1/2 years of probation with counceling.
 
did you not think about marriage guidance once you had both cooled down, rather than arresting her and throwing her in jail with with murderers and drug addicts,
shame on you
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top