When you've shared the Faith with Family and they SCREAM~~~~

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SOOOOO many times, I’ve attempted to share my new-found Faith with family and friends and I’m getting repeatedly slapped in the face here. Am I stupid? Why, just this morning, my mom calls me and attempts to literally scream at me Bible verses, etc. Protestant rebuttals, etc., endless accounts of when the Catholic Church had Popes “murder each other”, etc., accounts from the past…Man----I’m exhausted already~~~~~ I’ve shared my discovery of Catholicism–shared some books–phamplets–tapes, etc., and wow the backlash with Protestants is just unbelievable!!! Please help me deal with it friends! I’m so thankful I’ve found a True Faith and Church but the backlash is something I did not expect. What should we do? Should we not share then? How should we broach our Protestant brothers and sisters? Should we just drop it? Not mention it? If they ask, then fine=–if not–let it go???
 
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sparkle:
SOOOOO many times, I’ve attempted to share my new-found Faith with family and friends and I’m getting repeatedly slapped in the face here. Am I stupid? Why, just this morning, my mom calls me and attempts to literally scream at me Bible verses, etc. Protestant rebuttals, etc., endless accounts of when the Catholic Church had Popes “murder each other”, etc., accounts from the past…Man----I’m exhausted already~~~~~ I’ve shared my discovery of Catholicism–shared some books–phamplets–tapes, etc., and wow the backlash with Protestants is just unbelievable!!! Please help me deal with it friends! I’m so thankful I’ve found a True Faith and Church but the backlash is something I did not expect. What should we do? Should we not share then? How should we broach our Protestant brothers and sisters? Should we just drop it? Not mention it? If they ask, then fine=–if not–let it go???
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That’s the attitude that I take. My Protestant family, friends, and in-laws know that I am Catholic. Most of them know what that entails, some do not, and some of those have asked me about it. It’s something they all know about, as they know that I am open for discussion, questions, and even as an escort to Mass, and thus I do not feel the need to badger them with information constantly (or ever).

IMO, badgering someone with information that they do not want is a sure-fire way to turn them off the subject for good and make them your enemy. And when your relatives do the same to you, simply tell them that you do not wish to discuss this right now- do not retaliate with pro-Catholic information: you’ve already done this to no avail, they already know that you’re Catholic and will answer their questions, and you cannot ask them to change their behavior if you are not willing to change yours. If they won’t drop it, tell them you’ll talk to them some other time and hang up the phone.
 
Sometimes the journey toward God and Jesus will be a lonely one. It seems like right now emotions are running high and they are not in a position to hear your rationale. Let things cool down a bit, and then when they are ready to have a civil conversation with you, then you will have a chance to explain your new-found faith.

You should probably pray for patience with them, and ask God to open their ears, minds, and hearts.

I recommend you read “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott Hahn. He was a Presbyterian minister who converted to Catholicism. Along his journey, he lost friends and he and his wife almost divorced. However, as time went on his wife converted and so did many of his friends.

I am a convert to the faith also. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about the faith. Be prepared to answer common misunderstandings like Why do you pray to Mary and the saints? Why do you cross yourself and genuflect? Why do you believe in purgatory?.. and so on. Read your Catechism book and read materials here on catholic.com

Best of Luck,
Kim
 
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SeekerJen:
badgering someone with information that they do not want is a sure-fire way to turn them off the subject for good and make them your enemy.
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BUT friend “SeekerJen”

If we’ve found the Truth, the True Church, as former Protestants, don’t we want to share it? Shouldn’t we want to let other Protestants know what we have found? Maybe some of them are searching where we are as well or have been? Maybe some or many of them are so lost in the Protestant mindset? Maybe some are previous Catholics? Cradle Catholics? Why should we wait until someone “asks us”??? Is the way to truly go about witnessing our faith? To wait until someone asks us? I dunno.

Mom (a die hard Protestant) told me just today—“don’t share anything—wait until they ask”-----well hello? who asks?
 
Just show them all the Scriptures that refute anti-Catholicism. Catholicism and Scripture are united, but Protestantism really doesn’t stand under Scripture. Ironically, they talk about Scripture, yet it shows them wrong. It’s all a big reverse psychology hype-game etc. For examples of such Scriptures, just “Find all my posts”.

Enjoy converting them, it should be simple, if they are willing to study Scripture. Don’t let Protestants scare you, stand fim in tradition and Scripture. Repeat Scriptures that they try to brush off and don’t let them get away with it. Again, just just “Find all Greg_McPherran posts” for examples. Protestantism does not stand up to Scripture.

Greg
 
Share only when asked.

If assaulted, do not become defensive but quietly reply, "I’ve heard all kinds of things about the Catholic Church that have turned out to be untrue. If you want to know what the Church really teaches or more about her history I can get more information for you.

Period. If another assault ensues, repeat. Until they stop.
 
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mercygate:
Share only when asked.

If assaulted, do not become defensive but quietly reply, "I’ve heard all kinds of things about the Catholic Church that have turned out to be untrue. If you want to know what the Church really teaches or more about her history I can get more information for you.

Period. If another assault ensues, repeat. Until they stop.
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Just today my mom told me: “I’m so blind to Church History. I’ve lived longer than you and your Dad is a Pastor.” You need to do some reading on Church History."…I know my dear mom has not read even 1 book on Church History. She just is going by my Dad, bless his heart, uninformed, sure read up on history, but from the Protestant perspective.

This is soooo disheartening. So many are like this.
 
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sparkle:
BUT friend “SeekerJen”

If we’ve found the Truth, the True Church, as former Protestants, don’t we want to share it? Shouldn’t we want to let other Protestants know what we have found? Maybe some of them are searching where we are as well or have been? Maybe some or many of them are so lost in the Protestant mindset? Maybe some are previous Catholics? Cradle Catholics? Why should we wait until someone “asks us”??? Is the way to truly go about witnessing our faith? To wait until someone asks us? I dunno.

Mom (a die hard Protestant) told me just today—“don’t share anything—wait until they ask”-----well hello? who asks?
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I understand that you’re excited to have found the truth. I’m also excited to know about it, and often wonder how so many people can remain clueless. But I understand that it’s not my job to convert everyone. My job is to live by example, to earnestly participate in civilized discussion about the faith and correct misconceptions, to answer questions about the faith to the best of my ability, and to pray for others to find the Truth. I cannot change people’s hearts. If I refuse to understand that and badger people continuously with information that they do not want to see or hear, then I don’t think I am being a good Christian witness, rather I am likely driving them further away from the faith.

Christ is the Good Shepherd, and He seeks tirelessly for His lost sheep. Yet in the Gospel of John, when some of His disciples did not want to accept His teachings on the Bread of Life (see John 6), He made no motion to stop them from leaving. He didn’t call them back and say, “Hey wait! You need to stay here! I know you don’t want to hear it but you have to listen to me!” And He is God. It may sound harsh, but not everyone is going to hear the Truth and accept it. You have told them what you know. Fighting and arguing and causing strife in your family isn’t going to help the situation- it will drive them away from you and likely they won’t want what you have. You’ve (hopefully) planted a seed of knowledge and truth, and now all you can do is pray. It’s not your job to give faith to someone else.
 
The BEST way to share, is to let your faith shine in your life. “Let your light shine before men that they will see your good works and glorify My Father in heaven”. (that verse is from memory…)

The Holy Spirit does converting, we are the recruiting posters. Love them, be the best example of love that they have ever seen. Pray pray pray.

Kage
 
Many people have expressed their struggles with protestant family members, what about struggles with Catholic family members. For example, my mother is a Catholic who attends church regularly and is active in her parish, as I am. However, we have had multiple discussions/debates on the perpetual virginity of Mary. She is of the opinion that Jesus had brothers.

What is really strange about this is that she is insistant that me and my siblings go to church and that the church should be Catholic. Her reasons for this is not that the Catholic church teaches the truth but because she spent way too much money for us to have a Catholic education for us to just throw it away!

Anyway…whenever we do have a debate about Mary’s virginity she normally says something sarchastic like “you should’ve been a priest”, as if priests are the only people who should be loyal and defend church teachings. Now I just say: “My Catholic education - which you spent so much money for taught me that Mary was always a virgin.”
 
SeekerJenChrist is the Good Shepherd said:
Thank you so much “SeekerJen”! How wise you are. And how I so needed to hear your words today. I am truly at a loss that so far no one in my family of Protestants even wants to listen to me–what I have to say --what I have learned. They all think “I’ve been brain-washed” as mom told me this morning. They’re all so died in the wool Protestants for generations back I guess–I sooo want to share what I’ve learned but it’s proving to be futile. As you said–not everyone is going to hear the Truth and accept it. I just don’t know what to do when I have such a huge family who is so outright NOT accepting it. I’m like the black sheep here. I have tried sharing stuff–tapes–phamplets–books–my story-- they’re ALL completely closed minded --well what do you expect after 500 years? I just hear stories of how Priests murdered each other–how “the Church” was corrupt, etc., the Priest scandel, etc. etc., it’s getting tiring.

So--------what is the answer here? Should we converts even bother to share or not? Should we do so once? then forget it? What have you done “SeekerJen”?
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sparkle,

Am I understanding your post correctly, are you be unmercifully harrassed by your family members, primarily your mother? She literally calls you, and then screams bible verses at you? I want to comfirm one more thing, your father is a preacher? Oh honey, if all I have understood is correct you have got to be one brave young woman! If I’ve read all this right let me know, I think I have acouple of suggestions to help you, but before I post them I just want to be sure I’ve got the facts right.
Linda H.
 
Linda H.:
sparkle,

Am I understanding your post correctly, are you be unmercifully harrassed by your family members, primarily your mother? She literally calls you, and then screams bible verses at you? I want to comfirm one more thing, your father is a preacher? Oh honey, if all I have understood is correct you have got to be one brave young woman! If I’ve read all this right let me know, I think I have acouple of suggestions to help you, but before I post them I just want to be sure I’ve got the facts right.
Linda H.
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Yep–you’re so right. Dad, a Preacher for 50 years. Yes, guess you could call me brave. Or some would say stupid! I will fight to the end for my faith–if that’s what God calls me to do. I’m very strong willed-if I set my mind to something–nothing stops me. Problem–a gigantic family of Protestants–Baptists–Presbyterian–Evie Free–many pastors, etc. yikes–should I even share?

Thx Linda~~ you’re super
 
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sparkle:
So--------what is the answer here? Should we converts even bother to share or not? Should we do so once? then forget it? What have you done “SeekerJen”?
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You’ve already shared. Let it drop- unless you want to have a huge rift in the family. Agree to disagree- this will take an agreement on both sides to drop the subject. This means that you do not bring up the subject unless asked (and that includes giving out pamphlets, books, etc.), and it also means that your family will not insult you, attack your faith, make harassing phone calls, etc.

Pray for them. A lot. Pray for your own patience.

Honestly, I’m not a convert. I’m a cradle Catholic, but right now I have a lapsed Protestant husband and parents who are lapsed Catholics. I accepted my husband for who he was when we were married, and continue to accept him. He knows that he can ask me anything about the Church and the faith (and we’ve had several interesting discussions), and he fully supports me in my faith and religious practice. During pre-marriage counselling with our priest, my husband stated that he has no problem with raising our children as Catholics, and just recently he suggested that we start saying grace before meals (I often forget :o ). Lots of baby steps, and I’m not going to give up hope.

As for my parents, all I can do is be an example. They stopped going years ago, church-shopped, came back intermittently, and then the priest sex scandals hit. I understand their frustration with the Church and the scandals, but I don’t understand how they are not willing to try and move past it. But it’s not my job to force it on them. All I can do is pray.
 
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Greg_McPherran:
Just show them all the Scriptures that refute anti-Catholicism. Catholicism and Scripture are united, but Protestantism really doesn’t stand under Scripture. Ironically, they talk about Scripture, yet it shows them wrong. It’s all a big reverse psychology hype-game etc. For examples of such Scriptures, just “Find all my posts”.

Enjoy converting them, it should be simple, if they are willing to study Scripture. Don’t let Protestants scare you, stand fim in tradition and Scripture. Repeat Scriptures that they try to brush off and don’t let them get away with it. Again, just just “Find all Greg_McPherran posts” for examples. Protestantism does not stand up to Scripture.

Greg
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Thank you so much brother Greg:

It’s very hard when you have such die-hard Protestant Pastors in your family who are “in your face” constantly with their disagreements. WOW–I sure know what being persecuted means for your faith—and how----

Yes–I know their arguments really don’t hold up. In my gentle attempts to mention them–they only raise their voice and scream even louder------and then attack below the belt—it’s hard~~~~~
 
Sparkle: Christ challenges us to pick up our cross and follow Him. You have a heavy one.

Your parents have had long lives, filled with some truth and some untruth. They have, with all good intent, tried to follow Christ as they understand Him, and have been told lie after lie about how the Catholic Church doesn’t; how it is the work of the devil; how Catholics do just the opposite of what theBible requires of us. And they have bought it all on good faith. Any information you give them is terrifying, as it requires that they accept that they have bought into, and lived a lie. and that is more than some people can swallow (and in addition is not the entire truth; they have sought the truth in good faith, but not found it all).

St Francis of Assisi is credited with saying “preach the Gospel always. If necessary, use words.” There is much wisdom there.

You won’t accomplish anything with someone who is not truly listening. Right now, you relatives are not listening; they don’t want to hear what you have to say, as they already “know” that it is a pack of lies. Until they get past the “knowing” stage, you might try to spread the Good News elsewhere.

It is hard to understand that God loves them as and where they are. That is not to say that truth is relative; but it is to say that they are judged by God, as to their heart. Don’t let your entusiasm be extinguished by spreading it where it is rejected. Even St Paul was rejected; he moved on. Do likewise. If they ask questions and will listen to answers, by all means, respond. But don’t get sucked in to a quagmire.
 
Dear sparkle,

If you want to understand their reaction to you, you must see yourself from their point of view. From your position, they are completely closed minded. From theirs, you are not only brainwashed as you said, but also closed minded – at least to hear what they have to say.

Just think of how much it must shock them. They have done their best to raise you, and now you have run off with what they’ve grown up believing is a “dangerous cult.” Now imagine if your own child or sibling were to run off with the moonies and then called to tell you about how great it is and how they’ve found the truth and invite you to join them. Would you not try to deprogram them?

Now having set that up, you might try listening to them. Perhaps if you can calm them down to tell you one thing at a time, and then ask for discussion about it. Then you can occasionally say, “oh, yes, we believe that as well,” or if it’s something you don’t believe, don’t resist. Say, “that’s very interesting. I’ll have to think about that” and put off trying to answer it, but don’t hesitate to ask questions which force them to explain. If it’s something repulsive, you might say, “wow, that really sounds like a problem. I wonder what my new friends would say about that,” then take notes and bring them to this forum to find out what the Catholic view might be.

Remember, you still have to honor them whether you’re Catholic or Protestant, and they still see you as the child, the one they need to responsibly form. Let them share their faith with you, and when they get into bashing, get out your notebook and take notes. This way you don’t have to personally defend the Church against their attacks – some of which may actually be warranted! It may sound like a cliche, but also look for common ground (and maybe even a common enemy) in issues of the day so that they can be assured you haven’t completely gone off the deep end.

Alan
 
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otm:
You won’t accomplish anything with someone who is not truly listening. Right now, you relatives are not listening; they don’t want to hear what you have to say, as they already “know” that it is a pack of lies. Until they get past the “knowing” stage, you might try to spread the Good News elsewhere.
Don’t let your entusiasm be extinguished by spreading it where it is rejected. Even St Paul was rejected; he moved on. Do likewise. If they ask questions and will listen to answers, by all means, respond. But don’t get sucked in to a quagmire.
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Thank you SO much. Your words of wisdom are so needed right now–and GOD truly sent YOU to tell me them. Thanks so much.

I was once told that I have the spiritual gift of enthusiasm. But what a lesson it has been for me to know just where and to whom to give and apply it. I’m such a numbskull–so nieve at times----and knowing where to spread it and where as you say “it will be extinguished” has been and is, one of my biggest life’s lessons. Thank you for reminding me of it. Sometimes I can beat my head against a wall so many times and try for something–then I finally wake up! It’s been a major lesson in my life to learn to go where I’m needed. I’m so dumb sometimes–and think certain people might need to “hear the Truth”, etc. but if they don’t care–why bother? WOW what a lesson.!!!

Tell me more if you have time. You’re so wise!!!
 
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sparkle:
Thank you so much brother Greg:

It’s very hard when you have such die-hard Protestant Pastors in your family who are “in your face” constantly with their disagreements. WOW–I sure know what being persecuted means for your faith—and how----

Yes–I know their arguments really don’t hold up. In my gentle attempts to mention them–they only raise their voice and scream even louder------and then attack below the belt—it’s hard~~~~~
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Dear sparkle,

You just reminded me of a program I wrote as an exercise once when learning a computer language. It sounds like you could use a blessing. You may check out my “customizable beatitudes” program I wrote, at:
wordsfree.org/attitude.html

Alan
 
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sparkle:
Problem–a gigantic family of Protestants–Baptists–Presbyterian–Evie Free–many pastors, etc. yikes
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Hey, I just noticed this.

They are of many different denominations. How do they get along with each other? Do they each think they are right and the others are wrong, or do they collectively conspire to believe the Catholic Church is really the only one wrong.

If the former, then you might gain some insight from how they handle each other – whether friendly or adversarial – as far as how you want to act among them. If the latter, whoo boy. We’ll be praying for you.

As others have said, welcome, and don’t let them tear you down.🙂

Alan
 
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