Where and how to find a spiritual director?

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I know this question has been covered before, but I’m hoping for some personal insights. Long story short I’m discerning a vocation to the priesthood. The vocations director of the Diocese told me to find a spiritual director - and that he’d want to know who it was.

I’m pretty far along in my personal discernment process and the vocations director is right that it’s the next step.
The reasons I’ve not yet picked a spiritual director is twofold:

1: I’ve honestly been to confident in myself and I’ve had a hard time accepting that someone more experienced than me could possibly talk into my life. 😅

2: I’ve only met one person where I thought “he’s my spiritual director!” and he’s not eligible for various reasons. I honestly believe God sent me to talk with this man, but for various reasons too complicated and personal to get into here, he won’t be a good fit with me being sponsored by the Diocese.

I’ve met other priests I thought might cover all my bases well, but for various reasons

I’d pick my parish priest, who is for all intents and purposes my confessor priest, but while we have a good relationship, I’m afraid we disagree too much on liturgical and doctrinal matters for it to be a good fit. Besides he’s leaving the country in about a year.

I don’t believe in very picky, really. But I am shy about just going up to somebody and saying: “Hey! I think I 've got a vocation. Be my director?”

Another problem is that the Diocese of Copenhagen is a HUGE Diocese with few members and even fewer priests. So actually meeting priests is difficult.

Tl;dr: I’d be interested if anyone has experience with picking a spiritual director or has hints on where to go to find one.
 
Alright, this is by far no same as finding spiritual director, but I’d like to share with you with what I’ve learned about finding someone who is kind of spiritual director for me, a lay person who often discerns about priesthood. For me, this Priest goes beyond confessor, but as I am very interested in theology, we often talk and he keeps me on track whenever I have doubts.

This is my parish priest, I’ve been very lucky to meet him and basically we differ in most of our views. While he would never ever deny any dogmas, he is pretty liberal in his sense and I am more traditional (not TLM traditional though), and this gives us enough room to talk to each other. He would never celebrate Ad Orientem but I am more in favor of it, he does not like Tridentine Mass (not that he hates on it, but not his style) and likes to include laity (especially children during Masses dedicated for them) in services as far as possible. This is by no means anything I disagree with, but not my style of things either. During confessions he is very merciful and emphasizes God’s mercy and love, yet is not completely neglectful of guiding me. This seems to work with my style of going to confession mostly to be united with God and feel His love, while trying to acknowledge sins.

Probably every Priest I ever met in my life was a good guide for me, and while one was not as good confessor in my opinion, he had other things we could talk about and enrich me with them. Bottom line is, fact you disagree with your parish Priest might not be a problem, as long as you do not consider them heterodox and you keep educating yourself in sense you want to be educated too, and it might bring you some information from Priest’s point of view too.
 
OrbisNonSufficit said:
fact you disagree with your parish Priest might not be a problem
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I agree. It is a bigger problem that my parish priest might move home to his convent in a year or two. He is also one of the few I’ve talked vocations with.
 
TheMortenBay said:
I agree. It is a bigger problem that my parish priest might move home to his convent in a year or two. He is also one of the few I’ve talked vocations with
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Right. That might be a problem, but if he does not go too far it might still be possible to have him. Perhaps try to ask diocese to suggest someone to you if you can’t find anyone- similar practice exists with Confirmation Sponsors or Baptismal Parents at Parish level, so it might be possible.
 
I’m not sure about that, I don’t think it needs to be a Priest necessarily, but I don’t think many Non-Priests would satisfy conditions of Spiritual Director for someone discerning Priesthood. At best, Bishop would allow Permanent Deacon.
 
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Hi, I had a similar situation a few years ago. I’m discerning a vocation as well and moved to a different area to go to university. The way I found a spiritual director was I spoke to my parish priest who was able to suggest a director. And for Wrexham diocese at least, a lay spiritual director was acceptable for someone discerning.
 
I would contact your local diocese. That’s what I plan on doing when I get one. I can also understand why you feel shy about finding one, I feel the exact same way. Maybe talk to your priest and see if he can recommend anyone.
 
A good spiritual director is a good spiritual director. At this point, I don’t think your spiritual director necessarily has to be a priest, but your vocations director may disagree with me. It would be more important later on, in seminary, when concerns specific to the priesthood may arise. But right now, I think, it’s more important to find someone who is skilled at helping you discern how God is working with you, and where He is tugging you, and developing a good prayer life. Could be a priest or it could be a nun or a religious brother. My opinion may differ from others though.

That said, I agree to start by asking your priest or diocese for Recommendations. Older retired priests are great, because they’re usually not boggled down with administrative work like a pastor can be. If there are any religious convents, monasteries, friaries, priories, etc, you can check there. Or have your pastor or vocations director contact them. There are quite a few religious trainee in spiritual direction, and a good spiritual director will be objective in helping you discern God’s call. A good spiritual director will not care if you are discerning the diocese or a different order than theirs. One final place to check out are Catholic retreat centers. Jesuits run quite a few, as to several other religious orders. They often offer spiritual direction as a service.
 
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