Where (and WHEN) to begin discerning a vocation?

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GIMJ

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Sorry for what will be a very long post. I wanted to give a clear idea of where I’m at right now.

I’m facing an important crossroads right now. I’m 19 years old, in my senior year of college, so my choices now will have long term consequences. People often ask me what I “want to do,” or what I “want to be.” I think about it a lot, but I have a hard time giving a straight answer.

I’m currently applying for grad school and preparing for a professional program - in other words, I’m doing all the right things to have a successful career in my area of interest.

However, I feel increasingly dissatisfied with my anticipated career path. I still find it interesting, and I’m a very strong student. But the thought keeps returning, that God has bigger plans for me than I could possibly dream of for myself. I began RCIA one year ago, and now I’m preparing to be initiated at the Easter Vigil this year. I’m very excited to begin my journey in the Church.

I was still an atheist when I first became interested in the Catholic Church. I consumed as much information as I could. There are many things that piqued my interest, but I was especially intrigued by the priesthood. For some (very odd) reason, I began to think, if only I could believe in God, or this Church, I think I would like to be a priest.

A few years passed, and in the meantime I learned to believe in Jesus, who led me to the Catholic Church. So here I am now, on the verge of becoming an authentic Christian, and thoughts of the priesthood have returned.

I’ve always been embarrassed to talk about this with Catholics for several reasons (these being ways I see myself OR how I fear they will see me if I approach anyone about this).
  1. I’m not even Catholic yet;
  2. I’m still very young and probably impressionable;
  3. My enthusiasm for my newfound faith is leading me to entertain extreme thoughts;
  4. I don’t know very much about being an ordinary Catholic, let alone what it might be like to be a priest;
  5. I don’t see myself as a particularly good person. Everyone has faults, but I feel so consciously aware of my many flaws and how they prevent me from responding to God;
  6. Feelings of anxiety when trying to separate my personal (potentially selfish) desires from the desires God has for me. (i.e., Is this really what God wants of me, or am I deceiving myself to get what I want?)
  7. Apprehension over the thought of actually being a priest. (How could I possibly be charged with that kind of responsibility??)
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it gives you an idea of what I’m thinking. A priest at my old school once remarked that while only God gives vocations, he thought that it was very likely that I might have a religious calling. He asked me if I ever thought about it myself. I told him a few of the things I listed above, and he said he was going to get me some literature to read and think about, but then I transferred to a new school, and we haven’t been in touch since.

There is also a woman in the RCIA program who has said to the entire group on multiple occasions that she thinks I will end up being a priest and directly to me she has suggested it, but not outright said those words. It makes me feel very uncomfortable every time she’s done that (I know she means well, but as I pointed out above, I’m not comfortable talking about it right now).

My point in telling all of this is to solicit any advice you might have. This has been troubling me, so I want to know whether this is something I should be seriously considering, and if so how do I go about it? Who should I talk to, what should I say, how soon should I do it, etc.?
 
I think probably to be accepted into a seminary or a noviciate (religious order) you would need to be a practising Catholic for about 2 years…but do check this out. You could speak with the Vocations Director in your diocese and no reason why you cannot do this now, just to get from one “in the know” to know what the situation actually is. If you are attracted to a Religious Order, get in contact with them and nothing to prevent you at this stage either.
As far as not being “a good person” - probably Jesus in picking Peter to be Head of The Church could be wondered at - Peter’s track record over the time with Jesus and especially in denying him when Jesus was arrested, was a dreadful track record in part. The Lord chooses whom He will - be confident about that - and sometimes He can choose real surprises and the most unlikely and I know a couple of priests for sure who were total unlikelies and now excellent priests and possibly because they did have much experience (much!) “in the world”.
My advice would be to start thinking seriously about a priestly vocation now and praying about it…most especially seek out a spiritual director. Do make enquiries wherever you are inclined - nothing to prevent this at this stage at the enquiry level and infact I think a good move.

Keeping you in prayer…Blessings - Barb:)
 
Thanks Barb for the advice, but what is a spiritual director and where do you look for one?
 
GIMJ said:
Thanks Barb for the advice, but what is a spiritual director and where do you look for one?
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Hi GIMJ!..A spiritual director is a mentor and confidant and used always to be a priest. Nowadays laypeople and religious can be trained in spiritual direction and often do. A spiritual director, guide or companion is someone we can look up to and respect as being wise and holy, someone we trust with our most intimate thoughts and someone we also trust to keep us travelling in a positive spiritual direction. With my own director, a retired parish priest of mine, and indeed with any sort of spiritual director, one can discuss absolutely anything including spiritual matters. Trying to discern a vocation is a spiritual matter for sure.

How to obtain one varies according probably to where one lives. I am in South Australia. We have in our diocesan offices what they call a Spirituality Office…one can contact this office and they will provide a list of spiritual directors with telephone numbers and one simply rings whomsoever one picks of this list. If you ring your diocesan offices and tell them you would like to locate a spiritual director, they should be ideally helpful to you. Other ways of contacting a spiritual director would be to ask your parish priest if he has the time to direct you and if not, does he know of how you can acquire a spiritual director. Failing this or as an alternative, you could ring a religious order of priests and ask them if they undertake spiritual direction, and if not, then do they know of how you could contact one.
A spiritual director could be a female and my previous director was a nun and ex novice mistress and I loved her dearly and valued her…however she lived a long way from me and when my old parish priest became available and was willing to undertake directing me, I jumped at the opportunity as he is closer.

Anyone with the hope and aspiration of living seriously The Gospel and a spiritual life would be wise to try to obtain a spiritual director. A good director is spiritual gold and a treasure and gift from The Lord. With mine, we meet roughly monthly and I just discuss the past month with him - he takes it from there and spiritual directors are trained to know what to ‘hear’ and what direction to guide one in. A sort of spiritual counsellor is a good way of putting it.

Blessings and will be keeping you in daily prayer. I am hoping other posters may have valuable information for you too. If you have any questions re the above or anything esle - post away:thumbsup: and I hope I can help…Barb:)
I am getting ready to go off to school (student), so it may be some hours (roughly 10hrs) before I reply if you have any other questions.
 
GIMJ said:
Thanks Barb for the advice, but what is a spiritual director and where do you look for one?
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Just as an aside.

You might try to slow down a little.

You wrote that you’re 19 yo and a SENIOR in college.

That’s fast!

Maybe some volunteer work somewhere with the Maryknoll lay missioners or someone for a year or two?

Slow down!
 
To be a good priest you will need to learn “patience”. I remember when I was attending a Jesuit university many years ago, a Jesuit professor told us that Jesuits (back then anyway) were required to spend at least 2 years teaching in a boy’s high school. Teaching the boys helped to teach the seminarians patience and humility. Jesuits take a lot longer than the average priest before they make their final vows. All the Jesuits I knew where extremely intelligent like you. Sometimes intelligent men can be arrogant and definitely impatient. That is another reason they take longer before receiving their vows. They all needed to develop those very important virtues of patience and humility. Just for fun, I suggest you contact a Jesuit and tell him your situation. You sound like you might fit in with them.
 
Thanks for the advice 1234. I haven’t tried rushing through, I just have a love for learning and was bored in high school so I left it early and started college younger than the norm. I feel prepared to begin my Masters or going to law school right now, but I feel like I need a break to enjoy life before I do that (and to see if that’s what I really want to do anyway!) I have been feeling like there is something waiting for me outside of school right now, and I was thinking about traveling abroad or doing volunteer work, but I didn’t know where to start. I will definitely look into the Maryknoll Lay Missioners and try to find a spiritual adviser to give me advice as well.

onetruechurch, I looked up the Jesuits online and discovered that they run a parish in my diocese only 20 miles away. I’m going to give them a call and drop by sometime soon. Might be after Easter since I’m spending so much time at my parish getting ready for the sacraments.

stbruno, I followed the link, but for some reason, I can’t download the PDF. It keeps getting stuck on 128kb/746kb. It was doing that yesterday too. Maybe you can copy + paste the part you wanted me to see?
 
saintzachary.org/files/FlameFeb08-2.pdf

Try this link instead…there’s something wrong with the file itself. It’s rather long to cut and paste. But I think this will work. Look at page 4. It’s regarding the explanation of spiritual direction and it’s value.
 
You sound like you are on your way to holiness. The Holy Spirit has been fiddling with your heart strings for awhile now, you have just not realized it. Pray about this and seek the advice the others recommended. Start reading about the lives of the saints. Many I have read about had the same questions and doubts. Some were even pagans and converted, only to go on to gain great sactifying :extrahappy: grace from God. I will be praying for you.
 
Thanks gracedblessed for your advice and encouragement. One thing that I know very little about is the lives of the saints. I’ve heard others recommend that I learn more about them, but I have no idea where to start. I like to read a lot, do you recommend any books? I like to read biographies, but an “encyclopedia” of saints would also be interesting if you have any suggestions.

stbruno, I read the link you gave me. I think it would be a great idea for me to find a spiritual director. I feel a little bit lonely on my faith journey because I can’t talk to anybody in my family, and I don’t have any friends that would be reliable either. I’m going to try forcing myself outside of my bubble and getting more involved and introducing myself to more Catholic people my age at my parish and at the Newman center at school.

Thanks again to everyone helping me! 🙂
 
Good luck to you. The Newman Center is a great resource. You are never alone when you have over a billion family members in the body of Christ. You remain in my prayers!
 
contact the vocations director of your diocese who is experienced in directing men in your position, and who will find a spiritual director for you.

The Church, in her motherly wisdom, recognizes the same factors you do, youth, inexperience, new conversion that requires testing etc. and allows for them. You will probably be told that there will be a time limit before you are allowed to enter a seminary in any case, to test your conversion, which will receive many challenges in the first few years. You will probably also be advise to finish your education, start paying of loans and getting your financial state in order, and of course to live chastely as a single adult. During this time, if you are under spiritual director with an experienced priest, so much the better. They will not try to push or force you, in fact, they may even be discouraging, because that is a recognized method of assisting in discernment.

all of which, of course, will not prevent the CA community from praying like mad for your vocation
 
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