Where are all the young married Catholic couples?

[FullOfThought]

Tonight my husband and I are looking for some friends to hang out with to go to the local races in our area, and most of our friends are at parties or don’t think we are ‘fun’ enough to hang out with… okay so nobody has ever said that but we repeatedly get that impression.

I feel that at 25 we should be past the need to drink every weekend and stay up late.

So my question is where are all the young married Catholics to be found? There is no Newman center in our area, we volunteer at marriage prep but haven’t found a single couple we would consider hanging out with as most of them admit that they are getting married in the church only because a parent insists and/or mock some aspect of our life (being young, NFP etc) , and we never see couples our age at mass… where is everybody?

 

[JeraldW]

Any young adult groups/ theology on tap, frassati days, etc? I know I have gone to all three, and have met many wonderful, devout, young couples (many newlyweds) at these. Also remember sometimes at these event just one spouse will go, typically the wife, sometimes just the husband, depending who was busy that day. I say go to these events and chat it up with anyone that has a ring on there finger, perhaps you will find another couple to befriend!

 

[Kelfa28]

My husband and I are 28 and we are one of several young couples active within our parish.

Actually…those couples are in their early thirties and have more then 4 kids…which means they got married quite young. We only have one…so far.

I’ve grown to accept the fact that we aren’t very common…especially where I’m from. We hang out with other married couples but they are all secular.

 

[agapewolf]

Tonight my husband and I are looking for some friends to hang out with to go to the local races in our area, and most of our friends are at parties or don’t think we are ‘fun’ enough to hang out with… okay so nobody has ever said that but we repeatedly get that impression.

I feel that at 25 we should be past the need to drink every weekend and stay up late.

So my question is where are all the young married Catholics to be found? There is no Newman center in our area, we volunteer at marriage prep but haven’t found a single couple we would consider hanging out with as most of them admit that they are getting married in the church only because a parent insists and/or mock some aspect of our life (being young, NFP etc) , and we never see couples our age at mass… where is everybody?

While your question is a good one, I ask you to please be open to friendships of single people as well. Sometimes they might be better friends to you then other married people.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I was part of a play group at our Church and met several moms with kids my age that way. I am still friends with several of them. If your Church doesn’t have one maybe you can start it? In our Church one woman (without little kids) put an ad in the bulletin and a few of us moms went. That is one way to meet people. There were younger and older women, all with younger kids… age really didn’t make a difference, and you may find it doesn’t make a difference for you either.

 

[MarcoPolo]

Ditto on checking for the Theology on Tap in your area. Or a “Spirit & Truth” group.

 

[Byrnwiga]

In my area, likely not at church. I think out of 500 people at mass there are two young couples (under 35). Admittedly, it’s gotten so difficult for devout Catholics to marry other devout Catholics in my area that I’ve actually heard people joking about marrying one of their siblings .

Needless to say, I’ve been setting aside money for a travel/moving budget for quite some time now :shrug:.

-Byrnwiga

 

[khuldar]

In my area, likely not at church. I think out of 500 people at mass there are two young couples (under 35). Admittedly, it’s gotten so difficult for devout Catholics to marry other devout Catholics in my area that I’ve actually heard people joking about marrying one of their siblings .

Needless to say, I’ve been setting aside money for a travel/moving budget for quite some time now :shrug:.

-Byrnwiga

In some parishes my wife & I have been too you can number the amount of people without grey hairs on one hand (adults that is), where I live it seems as though the church is for retired people who have had time to consider life etc (other peoples views not my own )…

…very hard for a 30 y/o to combat.

 

[Sillara]

My husband and I are now 37. We have six children now, so when we were in our early to mid-twenties we had a couple of children.

There was no one around of our age and state in life, aside from my own sisters.

We made friends with some single people, but there were long stretches of time when what they wanted to do we could not, due to having small children.

It is all well and good to say “make friends with _____”, ________ being people who are not in your stage of life, but it can be difficult to get together and do things.

 

[agapewolf]

My husband and I are now 37. We have six children now, so when we were in our early to mid-twenties we had a couple of children.

There was no one around of our age and state in life, aside from my own sisters.

We made friends with some single people, but there were long stretches of time when what they wanted to do we could not, due to having small children.

It is all well and good to say “make friends with _____”, ________ being people who are not in your stage of life, but it can be difficult to get together and do things.

And even more difficult with people who are in your state of life.

 

[Baelor]

Tonight my husband and I are looking for some friends to hang out with to go to the local races in our area, and most of our friends are at parties or don’t think we are ‘fun’ enough to hang out with… okay so nobody has ever said that but we repeatedly get that impression.

I am single and still not generally willing to make plans at the last minute. If you have an at least moderately large group of friends (which you seem to), then why not set a dinner date in advance? Or an activity you find mutually enjoyable? It may be a planning issue since young couples typically have many commitments.

Also, think about why you are not considered “fun” to hang out with (assuming this is a correct impression). Do all of your friends simply want to party all the time? Are the parties drunken messes or more edifying affairs? If the former, perhaps you should try to find friends whose values and hobbies are more in line with yours. Is it a personality thing that you think turns people off?

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I definitely suggest trying to start a young adult group. If you build an active young adult group you may be able to raise the numbers of active young Catholics in your church. “If you build it they will come” should be your mentality.

 

[ExGratia]

Something no one mentioned:

Branch out of your parish. I’m not saying switch parishes, just attend diocesan or other parish’s functions that sound interesting. And go with the intention of growing spiritually, not of making friends. Some diocese have a newspaper that tells you about events, but a trip to a daily mass to also pick up a bulletin may help too. There are exhibits, dinners, prayer services, music performances, novenas and slews of other things if you are willing to look for them. In fact, if you and your husband become regulars of the local Catholic scene, you’ll always see a friendly face (or ten) anytime you attend an event within an hour of your home parish. You may want to introduce yourself to people you see regularly since you know you already have common interests. And you’ll have something to do virtually every night if you keep abreast of what is going on.

This comes from someone who was single up until a year ago when I met my husband (at Church!), and I did many things alone. And I’m from a decidedly NOT urban area, so depending on where you are live, you will have more options!

Don’t volunteer with a specific project just to meet people. Choose what interests you regardless of the ages of others involved.

And please don’t rule out friends of differing ages and states in life. Some of my dearest friends are many years my senior. Age segregation is something we learn in our school years and it is very artificial.

God bless you!

 

[mt_gooseberry]

Tonight my husband and I are looking for some friends to hang out with to go to the local races in our area, and most of our friends are at parties or don’t think we are ‘fun’ enough to hang out with… okay so nobody has ever said that but we repeatedly get that impression.

I feel that at 25 we should be past the need to drink every weekend and stay up late.

So my question is where are all the young married Catholics to be found? There is no Newman center in our area, we volunteer at marriage prep but haven’t found a single couple we would consider hanging out with as most of them admit that they are getting married in the church only because a parent insists and/or mock some aspect of our life (being young, NFP etc) , and we never see couples our age at mass… where is everybody?

We don’t see a lot of young married couples either, so we tend to be friendly with couples that are a bit older than us (we are mid-20’s, most other’s are mid-30’s+). That said, we don’t do a lot of hanging out. My DH works long hours to support us, and I am nearly overwhelmed taking care of the kids and cooking and cleaning to my DH’s standards. By the time DH is off work, we are too tired to feel like doing much. I really cherish coffee hour after Mass, it’s my only chance to socialize!