Where are people buried?

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St_Francis

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My family are all over: one sibling on one coast, one sibling on the other, and my family at the last distant point of a triangle. My parents are in another place altogether. Where one parent’s family is buried is old and we can’t get in; the other’s family is buried in a yet another distant place. The local industry is gone here, so there will be no work for my children, so they too will end up on distant places.

So this bothers me as I think there should be a place where we can all be buried, possibly near at least one child… What do other families do?

Thanks!
 
St_Francis said:
My family are all over: one sibling on one coast, one sibling on the other, and my family at the last distant point of a triangle. My parents are in another place altogether. Where one parent’s family is buried is old and we can’t get in; the other’s family is buried in a yet another distant place. The local industry is gone here, so there will be no work for my children, so they too will end up on distant places.

So this bothers me as I think there should be a place where we can all be buried, possibly near at least one child… What do other families do?

Thanks!
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This is an issue.

My family is largely buried in WA and my husband’s family is buried in Poland. We live in TX.

It’s one thing to LIVE in Texas, but it’s quite a commitment to die and be buried in Texas–it’s a hard thing to wrap my mind around. I guess a lot will depend on where our kids wind up as adults…
 
Boltz Cemetery in Miller County, MO, located on the cleared off top of a hill, with a picnic table for Memoral Day gatherings. Riley Lamm cemetery a few miles down the road. Elk Praire Cemetery near Rolla MO. Several Catholic cemeteries in the Kansas City area. Several more non-Catholic cemeteries in the KC area.
 
St_Francis said:
My family are all over: one sibling on one coast, one sibling on the other, and my family at the last distant point of a triangle. My parents are in another place altogether. Where one parent’s family is buried is old and we can’t get in; the other’s family is buried in a yet another distant place. The local industry is gone here, so there will be no work for my children, so they too will end up on distant places.

So this bothers me as I think there should be a place where we can all be buried, possibly near at least one child… What do other families do?

Thanks!
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This is a facinating concept. We are from the nw and live there now but for two horrendous years we lived in northern Indiana. I remember that because of the older history in that part of the country there seemed to be a ton of graveyards. Though logically I know it does not really matter. (Except for the nice idea of family being able to visit the grave). I remember telling my wife in all seriousness that if I died in that place to not let me be buried there. I was adamant about it. I always thought I’d be buried next to my father. But now, I’d prefer a Catholic cemetery with my wife and someday kids…
 
Have the same problem. I haven’t figured out an answer to all of it. Mom didn’t want to be buried with her husband, my father, because she didn’t get along with his family with whom he is buried,(aren’t families fun?) so she bought a crypt in another cemetery. I never liked the idea.

We moved to Florida. She came to live with us. When she died, I had her cremated (she never wanted that) but I couldn’t see having her in that crypt alone without any family members near by to visit. So my plan is when I die, her remains will be put in my coffin and buried with me. However, I’m not sure where we will be buried because in our very old age, we might end up across the country in a facility near our kids. So my idea is we must be portable so, someday, we may all be together in a family plot.
 
Joe’s family are all buried at a Monastic ruins in Ireland.
All in the same grave. They simply re=open it, and the person goes in.
Having said that, the marker is completely full. His father had to be a small addition on a new marker at the base of the tall Celtic cross stone. Joe made the decision that the grace would be officially “closed” at that point. My daughter’s father’s cremains are at a local Catholic church where I formerly worked.
There is a Monastery in this area that does Natural Burial. You have to tell your loved ones in advance, so they don’t embalm you. They wrap you in a favorite quilt, or place you in a woven basket casket, or a simple pine box, whatever you decide in advance, You are buried very quickly. The monks dig your hole, They have a place where family can gather for a box lunch, and your grave is marked with a stone. Literally a stone. You can have a bible verse, a word, or a name or date, but not much else engrabed on it. You have a choice of a hill, a meadow, or near a water feature. I’m going with the meadow. It’s very inexpensive, relatively speaking. It’s in the middle of nowhere int he middle of a meadow. The perpetual care is the wildlife that roams there. Wildflowers, and no big tombstones. I just want my name: CLARE
Simple.

Joe? I guess he may want to go back to Ireland. If he does, we will both have that,. I won’t go against his wishes.
Ballintubber Abbey. But I still only want my first name. That’s it. Joe loathes speaking about death. The death of his parents hit him hard. It’s a sore subject. 🤷
 
Xantippe said:
This is an issue.

My family is largely buried in WA and my husband’s family is buried in Poland. We live in TX.

It’s one thing to LIVE in Texas, but it’s quite a commitment to die and be buried in Texas–it’s a hard thing to wrap my mind around. I guess a lot will depend on where our kids wind up as adults…
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Why on earth would you want to be buried anywhere else but Texas?!?!?!? :confused:

In all seriousness, though, the proximity of my remains in relation to the remains of my relatives doesn’t concern me; I’ve never understood the need to visit graves. The deceased aren’t really there, just what’s left of their earthly bodies.

As long as the Requiem Mass and the burial are done according to norms, where they put my body geographically is of little concern to me. I just hope the folks still here on earth pray for my soul. A LOT. I’m gonna need all I can get.
 
My father’s side of the family (except my father) is buried in a nonsectarian cemetery in the next town where Mom and Dad grew up.

Most of my mother’s side (except my mother) is buried in a Catholic cemetery in the same town.

Mom, Dad, and my uncle are buried in a nonsectarian cemetery in my town. I will likely be buried there as well.
 
My maternal grandparents, aunt, and uncles are all in one cemetery.

My Dad is at the same cemetery, different section.

We don’t have any spot yet. I’m not picky.

My Dad’s side is all in Italy.

And that’s basically it.
 
Our son is buried in our church cemetery. My DH and I own property next to him for when we die. There is very little room in the cemetery so they do not allow “family” plots to be sold any more. Only spouses are allowed to buy jointly and situations like ours where our son died before us. I just assume my other children will be buried with their spouses someday. This worries me though as my daughter will not marry so I’d like to buy her a plot next to ours, but it’s not permitted. Maybe I’ll have her buy one, but front her the money so she can be next to us when she dies. Our parish is just making sure parishioners get first choice of burial plots and recognize that most adult children move away and settle somewhere. It is not like it was where my father grew up. Half the cemetery has our family name on it! It’s always nice to go back and “visit” so many at once.

My parents are now in a different state and plan to be buried in the cemetery for veterans. They will not have any of their children with them, but my mom never worried about that. She used to joke that we could send her body down the River if we wanted, she’d be done with it by the time she died :eek::p:D
.
 
St_Francis said:
My family are all over: one sibling on one coast, one sibling on the other, and my family at the last distant point of a triangle. My parents are in another place altogether. Where one parent’s family is buried is old and we can’t get in; the other’s family is buried in a yet another distant place. The local industry is gone here, so there will be no work for my children, so they too will end up on distant places.

So this bothers me as I think there should be a place where we can all be buried, possibly near at least one child… What do other families do?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
My uncle just recently died and we laid him to rest in a family owned plot next to my grandparents. I was taken back (distraught really) by the shape that my grandparent’s graves were in and rectified the issues myself.

It bothers me greatly that graves would be allowed to get overgrown and it has changed my thinking on where to be buried. My wife and I have decided to be cremated and put in the columbarium at our local parish. That way our children will never have to be concerned about the state of our graves and will be close to us whenever they come home and attend Mass.

I’ve begged my parents to sell their plots and make similar plans but they don’t share my thoughts on the subject.
 
pianistclare said:
There is a Monastery in this area that does Natural Burial. You have to tell your loved ones in advance, so they don’t embalm you. They wrap you in a favorite quilt, or place you in a woven basket casket, or a simple pine box, whatever you decide in advance, You are buried very quickly. The monks dig your hole, They have a place where family can gather for a box lunch, and your grave is marked with a stone. Literally a stone. You can have a bible verse, a word, or a name or date, but not much else engrabed on it. You have a choice of a hill, a meadow, or near a water feature. I’m going with the meadow. It’s very inexpensive, relatively speaking. It’s in the middle of nowhere int he middle of a meadow. The perpetual care is the wildlife that roams there. Wildflowers, and no big tombstones. I just want my name: CLARE
Simple.
Click to expand...
This would be so lovely, oh how I wish it were an option for myself and my husband. But we have nothing like that here, and he is already buried. I will be buried with him in the same plot.

My Mom is buried in a town some 200 miles away, and my Dad in another town about 300 miles away. Most of the rest of my family is buried here in my town, in adjacent or near proximity plots, but not in the same cemetery as I will be. My husbands family are all buried in adjacent/nearby plots in another town. I surely wish we could all be “together” but it wasn’t an option.
 
I forgot to say that my parents are buried in the National Cemetery in Santa Fe together.
 
My family and my husband’s family are also all over the place, but his parents are buried together. My mother has had 3 husbands, and has a plot where the second husband (whom she liked the best) is buried, but she wants to be buried with the third one, as they have purchased the plots already. But that is 1 1/2 hours from me and I will probably never go back once they are gone since it is not my home town and we never visit cemeteries any way.

These days, the way families move around, it’s almost impossible to have everyone in the same cemetery, let alone near each other. And shipping bodies to another location is very expensive, as we found out when my father-in-law died in another state and had to be brought home.

I just want to be interred next to my husband, whether I am buried or cremated.
 
My family is all over. My husband and I would prefer to be buried in a Catholic cemetery or at least the Catholic portion of one, since it’s our understanding the ground is blessed. His family is mostly buried in this area, but in several different graveyards. We are planning on visiting them over Memorial Day weekend and cleaning up the headstones and such, since nobody else will be around to do so.

My husband’s great grandmother already has her plot next to her husband, who died when DH was little. It has always bugged my husband to visit his grave because his grandmother’s name is already on the headstone…just awaits the year of death. I have to think it was strange for her to visit as well.

I actually like the idea of visiting graves even if it feels pointless to some. I don’t think as a society we mourn very well and I think having a place to go to do so is helpful, just like for prayer or eating or sleeping or anything else. That said, I really like pianistclare’s idea. How fascinating it would be for someone to stumble across and wonder about who “Clare” is (If you’ve read the *Anne *books, how much “scope for imagination!”)

Although it’s a bit gruesome to think about, I think I would prefer not being embalmed and buried very simply. I’ve heard some horror stories about what happens to embalmed remains in modern coffins, and that makes me prefer the idea of regular decomposition.

But maybe I’ll luck out and Jesus will come first? I don’t know if I should think that way but sometimes I do. 😊
 
Generic_Name said:
Why on earth would you want to be buried anywhere else but Texas?!?!?!? :confused:.
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:harp: “when I die I may not go to heaven, I don’t know if they let Cowboys in. If they don’t, just let me go to Texas. Lord Texas is as close as I’ve been!” – Tanya tucker.

That being said. Texas… Ugh. Even the devil would be like, " this place is too hot"
 
Wow, there’s a lot of variety! I realized, upon reading some of the responses, that, having seen some abandoned old cemeteries, I worry more about my parents ( who have probably already decided everything) and the idea of their being " abandoned." But I also feel similarly when I see old photo albums at the thrift shop: it’s a sentimentality thing I probably have to get over :o

Seeing the variety makes me see that this is not an uncommon problem, and maybe something I don’t have to worry about yet? I could wait to see where my children end up, and my husband and I may also end up elsewhere as well.

Thanks for sharing all these different thoughts on this sometimes-difficult topic!
 
St_Francis said:
Wow, there’s a lot of variety! I realized, upon reading some of the responses, that, having seen some abandoned old cemeteries, I worry more about my parents ( who have probably already decided everything) and the idea of their being " abandoned." But I also feel similarly when I see old photo albums at the thrift shop: it’s a sentimentality thing I probably have to get over :o

Seeing the variety makes me see that this is not an uncommon problem, and maybe something I don’t have to worry about yet? I could wait to see where my children end up, and my husband and I may also end up elsewhere as well.

Thanks for sharing all these different thoughts on this sometimes-difficult topic!
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My twins are buried in the veterans cemetery near my hometown and most likely my husband and I will be too. My husband used to want to go back to Mexico but he says he no longer wants that. My brother is buried in a cemetery in our hometown and my dad is buried in a different cemetery in the next town over. My mom already has her stone in place next to dad. Not really sure where we will end up buried for sure but wherever it is I guess it won’t really matter. As long as we are reunited with each other and with Jesus
 
We have a family plot dating back to when I was a child. My parents are buried there, but not my maternal or paternal grandparents. I expect all of us will be there as well, as are my aunts and uncles as well as my father’s best friend right next to our plot, the latter purely by accident. It is a peaceful pastoral spot, a corner view with a big tree overlooking the graves.
 
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