I started this thread under the Moral Theology section, but apparently not many people look in there so I’m starting it again here.
I’m Catholic and my wife is not. We have five children and number six is on the way. We have practiced NFP for some time now, but let me tell you, the support we get from other Catholics in this area is virtually non-existent. In fact it’s worse. Every time my wife talks to a Catholic woman about what we do, they call her crazy. The common response is “Why don’t you get your tubes tied?” or “You’re nuts for not using the pill.” These are Catholic women telling my wife, a non-Catholic, that sterilization and artificial contraception are totally fine. It was hard enough to get my wife on board with NFP, and now “Catholic” women are totally undermining this. If these other women, and their husbands, want to blatently violate Church teaching in their own lives, that’s their business, but STOP ADVISING MY WIFE TO DO THE SAME!! Shame on them.
I think the Church gives us very mixed messages on this issue. On the one hand artificial contraception is labeled as mortally sinful, but on the other hand, I never hear a priest or a bishop talk about it and NFP programs seem to mostly come from private organizations outside the Church. If the Church is really serious about the evils of contraception, why is there almost no emphasis on it, how come I never hear about it, and why isn’t an NFP program a mandatory requirement at every parish?
God bless you for following NFP …
I blame a few things …
I agree with you, about priests staying mum on the issue. I’ve never heard it discussed in a homily
I also blame the mis-education of people, especially medical professionals. ( a group that I obviously belong to) I’m looking through the pamphlet that my OB gives out, and it discussed post-partum birth control. Under the methods, it discusses NFP, calling it the ‘Rhythm Method’, and stating that the success rate of preventing pregnancy is 80%, when used correctly. We both know that is totally incorrect.
People in general want a quick fix … pills, IUD, etc. NFP takes time, effort, and selflessness … which a LOT of people aren’t willing to give of themselves.
Women view their period as an inconvenience, rather as a gift, and look for ways to minimize it as much as possible. I’m not throwing a party when I have my period, but I do marvel at my body working, the way God designed.
I’m also a reformed BC pill user, and I’m so glad that I’m no longer on that wagon, both from a moral and health standpoint. I feel better, and feel better about myself.
Those of us who use NFP need to be open about it, as well as educated, to answer questions to those on the fence, don’tcha think? I self- taught DH and myself NFP, and it would have been a lot easier if we had a couple to look to for guidance.
I don’t know if it’s because most of those people married fairly young and started having families young (went to a traditional Catholic college, so many of the people we know who use NFP happen to have married young), never had a history of birth control pill use (which can possibly adversely affect future fertility), came from large families themselves and so were open to the idea, didn’t feel they had a major reason not to have large families and so only intended their NFP use to be child-spacing at most, were poorly instructed or happen to have very difficult cycles (mine are very difficult to interpret, so I know this can happen), “messed up” on NFP a bunch of times, or if it’s just a huge coincidence. But I would imagine if this is my experience, it’s probably been the experience of others out there in Catholic land. This may not be your experience at all, and so you probably come at this from a different perspective. I always like to hear what others are seeing/experiencing in their circles because it’s fascinating and broadens ALL of our perspectives.
Ask the Lord for others to accompany you on this journey.