Where Are the Catholics that Actually Practice NFP?

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Chris-WA

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I’m Catholic and my wife is not. We have five children and number six is on the way. We have practiced NFP for some time now, but let me tell you, the support we get from other Catholics in this area is virtually non-existent. In fact it’s worse. Every time my wife talks to a Catholic woman about what we do, they call her crazy. The common response is “Why don’t you get your tubes tied?” or “You’re nuts for not using the pill.” These are Catholic women telling my wife, a non-Catholic, that sterilization and artificial contraception are totally fine. It was hard enough to get my wife on board with NFP, and now other “Catholic” women are totally undermining this. If these other women, and their husbands, want to blatently violate Church teaching in their own lives, that’s their business, but STOP ADVISING MY WIFE TO DO THE SAME!! Shame on them.
 
Chris-WA said:
I’m Catholic and my wife is not. We have five children and number six is on the way. We have practiced NFP for some time now, but let me tell you, the support we get from other Catholics in this area is virtually non-existent. In fact it’s worse. Every time my wife talks to a Catholic woman about what we do, they call her crazy. The common response is “Why don’t you get your tubes tied?” or “You’re nuts for not using the pill.” These are Catholic women telling my wife, a non-Catholic, that sterilization and artificial contraception are totally fine. It was hard enough to get my wife on board with NFP, and now other “Catholic” women are totally undermining this. If these other women, and their husbands, want to blatently violate Church teaching in their own lives, that’s their business, but STOP ADVISING MY WIFE TO DO THE SAME!! Shame on them.
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I think you’re a hero! And your wife is a “martyr” – not in the usual sense people think of this word: someone who suffers for their faith but in the REAL sense of the word: Someone who WITNESSES to the faith.

May we assume that ll of your children were conceived either because of your trust in divine providence or that you used NFP successfully to space them?

I DO know a family with FIVE children, each of whom was “planned” using NFP – almost exactly three years apart!

Sounds like you two would be good candidates for teaching this stuff in pre-Cana.
 
Chris,
If you believe the statistics, only two or three percent of Catholic couples practice NFP. The rest - don’t.

You are not alone. Head over to the family life forum - there’s always a few threads about NFP going.
 
I’ve been in the same situation…

There are a few different “mom’s groups” at my parish, and when I was on maternity leave after my 2nd son I decided to go to one of their gatherings…
The table I sat at was discussing birth control and vasectomies as if it was nothing. Talking 'round the table eventually got to me, and I said “Oh we love using Natural Family Planning!” and the table went silent. :o

It’s so sad. Not only is it never mentioned or advertised, many of those who actually want to TRY to use it don’t get enough support and end up blaming the faith for NFP in the first place!! :confused:

Makes me want to scream… :mad:
It’s a shame.
 
We practice NFP, and I know at least 10 other couples who are as well…
 
My wife and I have practiced NFP our entire married life of 29+ years, except as has been unnecessary post-menopause. We have six children not because NFP doesn’t “work” but because “Children are a blessing from the Lord,” [Scripture] that is, we value children and the gift of new life. Only our last was “unplanned.” We bow to the wisdom of the Most High God. I was the last of six children, and I bet I was “unplanned” too since my mother was 39 and my father 53. But I and my sister Mary Ann and my wife took care of my parents in their old age.

Viva NFP! You offer the homage of a creature when you refuse to interfere with the nature the Creator has established. Artificial birth control is essentially a rebellion against the Creator and how he made us.
 
I’m at Catholic practicing NFP!!!😃

I know exactly how you feel!!! I feel completely alone and many people think I’m a “nut” for my acceptance of the Churches teaching on artificial birth control and trusting God with my fertility. (yes Catholics too!) I am currently pregnant with my 4th child. My husband is just as supportive of NFP as I am…Thanks be to God…but we really have nobody to support us besides God and the Church…which I guess is all we really need! Your wife is more than welcome to contact me here if she needs a Catholic NFP friend! I hope you will tell her how much I admire her and appauld you both for your stance!! I always try to get other married couples to read or listen to Chris West’s series on theology of the body, marriage and “relations”. It was very helpful in getting my husband to fully embrace NFP and realizing the popular vote of society isn’t always the right vote! Best of luck!!😃
 
Chris-WA said:
I’m Catholic and my wife is not. We have five children and number six is on the way. We have practiced NFP for some time now, but let me tell you, the support we get from other Catholics in this area is virtually non-existent. In fact it’s worse. Every time my wife talks to a Catholic woman about what we do, they call her crazy. The common response is “Why don’t you get your tubes tied?” or “You’re nuts for not using the pill.” These are Catholic women telling my wife, a non-Catholic, that sterilization and artificial contraception are totally fine. It was hard enough to get my wife on board with NFP, and now other “Catholic” women are totally undermining this. If these other women, and their husbands, want to blatently violate Church teaching in their own lives, that’s their business, but STOP ADVISING MY WIFE TO DO THE SAME!! Shame on them.
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I know it can be irritating, but “stay the course.” Continue being an example to the others, and hopefully they will figure it out.

Things are sort of the opposite at our parish. Our priest is very vocal about the evil of artificial birth control and sterilization. When we discussed it in our faith formation class, there was only one person who was vocal about ABC. Many couples talked about their experience with NFP, including a family doctor who was able to debunk some of the misconceptions voiced by the individual. I’m sure there were more who use ABC or were sterilized, but they wouldn’t dream of counselling someone to do the same. They know what they did (are doing) is wrong, or at least that it would be frowned upon by their fellow parishioners. It would be like recommending adultery, skipping Confession or missing Mass.

The Truth will win out! 👍
 
You posted this exact same post in Family Life over a week ago, and have several pages of responses there.

Why have you posted this again in another Forum?
 
[nerd mode]Let’s clear up some confusion. Catholics are not obligated to practice NFP, they are prohibited from practicing contraception. My point is that NFP is not the only choice. There is rhythm (which has unfairly gotten a bad rap lately), and there is also just letting whatever happens happen.

Also, I have not seen any reliable stat on the numbers of Catholics who practice contracpetion. The stat I often see is 80-90%, but this has been creeping up depending on who you ask. AND IT’S MISLEADING. That figure is from a survey question that asked something to the effect of, “Is contraception always wrong?” Most people when they encounter an always-question hedge their bets because they think there is an exception they have not thought of. And even if they genuinely believed it was not always wrong, it doesn’t follow that they are actually doing it. Now, I happen to believe that way too many Catholics practice contraception, but can we PUUULEEAAZE stop invoking the 98%-of-Catholics-contracept stat? (Unless you have an actual reliable study).

[/nerd mode]

We practice NFP for the record and good for you for doing it! Hang in there!
 
Chris-WA said:
Where Are the Catholics that Actually Practice NFP?
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Some of them are busy practicing at the moment so they can’t come to the computer right now. 😉

But seriously, there are probably many, many more couples than you realize who practice some method of NFP (or otherwise do not contracept, as Scottgun pointed out), but who just consider it a private matter that they do not discuss other than with their spouses.
 
Leopard said:
Some of them are busy practicing at the moment so they can’t come to the computer right now. 😉
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:rotfl:

My fiance and I plan on using NFP when we get married. She said that she has encountered some of that same criticism from her mother when talking to her about it. What is funny about that, though, is out of the three children in her family, two were conceived while her mother was on the pill. So obviously that didn’t “work” too well.

In Christ,
Rand
 
My husband and I practiced NFP, and ours is a different sort of story. We used NFP in order to achieve pregnancy.

You see, we got married later in life–I was 35 and he was 37. If we had left everything to chance, we might never have conceived in the few years we had. But with NFP we got baby #1 the very first month we tried. The only time NFP failed us was when we tried to conceive baby #2–it took us two months instead of just one.

I shudder to think that my beautiful, wonderful daughters might never have existed. Now that I’ve hit menopause, it would have been too late. If the Church hadn’t endorsed NFP, I probably never would have heard of it. I am so grateful that the Church promotes NFP.
 
Chris-WA said:
I’m Catholic and my wife is not. We have five children and number six is on the way. We have practiced NFP for some time now, but let me tell you, the support we get from other Catholics in this area is virtually non-existent. In fact it’s worse. Every time my wife talks to a Catholic woman about what we do, they call her crazy. The common response is “Why don’t you get your tubes tied?” or “You’re nuts for not using the pill.” These are Catholic women telling my wife, a non-Catholic, that sterilization and artificial contraception are totally fine. It was hard enough to get my wife on board with NFP, and now other “Catholic” women are totally undermining this. If these other women, and their husbands, want to blatently violate Church teaching in their own lives, that’s their business, but STOP ADVISING MY WIFE TO DO THE SAME!! Shame on them.
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Here’s another prime example of how much work we all must do to educate our children. Even if the Church were to make nfp education the top priority and the parents ignore the teachings and don’t pass them down, our 97% abc rate will not change.

Congratulations on your non-Catholic wife’s openness to life. She is much more Catholic (no insult intended) than the 97% of Catholics that pray to Mary and the Saints but ignore the one uniquely Catholic teaching that can possibly require some self restraint.

Hang in there.
 
Leopard said:
Some of them are busy practicing at the moment so they can’t come to the computer right now. 😉

But seriously, there are probably many, many more couples than you realize who practice some method of NFP (or otherwise do not contracept, as Scottgun pointed out), but who just consider it a private matter that they do not discuss other than with their spouses.
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Amen, I do not discuss this with anyone besides my husband and my doctor. As a matter of fact when I was having some female issues I brought my charts in with me to my doctors office and he couldn’t believe how knowledgeable I was about my body, and my cycles. He stated most women don’t have any idea what happens to their body each month. Have faith. God Bless.
 
I agree that the 90% of Catholics contracept is way off. It would be way off for non-Catholics too, since at least 40% of the people in Church on any given Sunday are over 55.

There would also be a clear difference if you asked:

Of Catholics, who attend Church every Sunday, how many of child-bearing age contracept?
 
Mercygate…My husband and I with our children attend Mass every single Sunday…including vacation and we do not contracept. We are both 34, have been married for 13 years and have 3 children with one on the way. We may be in the minority…but we both have grown to not only accept the teaching of the Church…but truly believe it. God Bless!
 
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