Where do the men go?

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My take is different. Volunteer and join the things YOU like. Make good friends with the women there. They have brothers, cousins, in-laws by marriage, etc.
If you let one woman know that you are looking to find someone, pretty soon you’ll have atleast one person say, “Oh, you have to meet by brother’s best friend, he’s going to be at our barbeque next week, do you want to come?”

Good luck!
 
Honus said:
Some other good Catholic singles sites…

www.catholicmatch.com

www.catholicsingles.com
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As a former member of Catholic Match, I can only say that I would urge people, in the strongest possible terms, to avoid them. Stay away. They even permit people who are married and whose divorce is not final to be members.

Catholic singles seems like a decent place.

Personally, I recommend www.avemariasingles.com. In fact, they discourage people who are not eligible for sacramental marriage from joining. It is also endorsed by Father Benedict Groeschel, from EWTN’s shoe Sunday Night Live.
 
rpp said:
Oh I could have so much fun with this topic.

Arrrgg!! Must… resist…
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Well, I ain’t gonna resist. I swore off the opposite gender years ago. They were/are not worth the time and effort. And, for the most part, it seems that they were looking for the millionaire model types and, if you did not measure up, you were just someone to toy around with.

Yes, it sounds harsh, but I think I am happier this way. No, not think, I am happier.
 
Don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, but I completely understand why you swore off the opposite gender, and I know it’s very possible to be completely content and happy alone. Paul said that the unmarried have a life of more happiness than the married, because the married will always be beholden to the cares of the world.

I blame the changes in our culture that have encouraged people to wait until their 30’s to marry, and to spend their 20’s treating the opposite sex like a meat market that should be carefully shopped. The attitudes of some singles is shocking; I’ve known men who had very specific anatomy requirements for any future wife. Nobody is good enough for them. They have bizarre ideas about what to look for in a spouse- and their ideals are entirely superficial. It’s very sad. So many of them would have been better off marrying their first loves in their late teens and early twenties, but everyone told them they were “too young” to get married then. So, they spend 10 years objectifying the opposite sex, and are in a mental mind frame far removed from marriage by the time they do marry. It’s very sad.
 
MCGar said:
My take is different. Volunteer and join the things YOU like. Make good friends with the women there. They have brothers, cousins, in-laws by marriage, etc.
If you let one woman know that you are looking to find someone, pretty soon you’ll have atleast one person say, “Oh, you have to meet by brother’s best friend, he’s going to be at our barbeque next week, do you want to come?”

Good luck!
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*This is excellent advice. I agree with this. McGar, great advice. 👍 *
 
Angels_Unaware said:
Don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, but I completely understand why you swore off the opposite gender, and I know it’s very possible to be completely content and happy alone. Paul said that the unmarried have a life of more happiness than the married, because the married will always be beholden to the cares of the world.

I blame the changes in our culture that have encouraged people to wait until their 30’s to marry, and to spend their 20’s treating the opposite sex like a meat market that should be carefully shopped. The attitudes of some singles is shocking; I’ve known men who had very specific anatomy requirements for any future wife. Nobody is good enough for them. They have bizarre ideas about what to look for in a spouse- and their ideals are entirely superficial. It’s very sad. So many of them would have been better off marrying their first loves in their late teens and early twenties, but everyone told them they were “too young” to get married then. So, they spend 10 years objectifying the opposite sex, and are in a mental mind frame far removed from marriage by the time they do marry. It’s very sad.
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GROG is male!!!

Oops! My caveman alter ego got loose from the clubhouse again!!! :onpatrol:
 
peregrinus_WA said:
Well, I ain’t gonna resist. I swore off the opposite gender years ago. They were/are not worth the time and effort. And, for the most part, it seems that they were looking for the millionaire model types and, if you did not measure up, you were just someone to toy around with.

Yes, it sounds harsh, but I think I am happier this way. No, not think, I am happier.
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A sister in Christ came here asking for advice. With all due srespect, if you are not going to offer something constructive, please recuse yourself and don’t make comments that only serve to rain on her parade.
 
whatevergirl said:
***I agree with all of this with the caveat azgirl, that you find something you enjoy doing, as Cat and kage say. I think to do something only with the motive to ‘find a man,’ will leave you feeling very anxious, anticipatory, and vulnerable…and also, disappointed if you did something with that sole intent, and then the ‘right’ guy didn’t appear. Just my two cents.

I also like the ave singles idea, because then, you will at least be meeting Catholic men, as opposed to random men at another setting that you hope are Catholic. When I was single, meeting a Catholic man was something very important to me. I dated men of varying religions throughout college, but I knew in my heart, I would only marry a Catholic…that’s just me, and I’m sure that is of importance to you, ave singles would be a great start, I think. In the end, I have always believed that God will lead us…arrange and rearrange the people and circumstances in our lives…to that ‘right’ person. I might be naive in thinking that, but it’s just always been my belief with love and marriage.

Good luck to you! Hope you find something you love to do, and it leads you to someone special. 👋***
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I agree with whatevergirl on this, be proactive about keeping the faith the same, and that the Catholic parishes that offer programs, should you meet someone there, the church could be open to letting other denominations in on bible study and such…, so in friendship, it is ok to get to know someone on a friendship level, but I wouldn’t date a non-Catholic (at least, not after the experiences I’ve had).
 
MCGar said:
My take is different. Volunteer and join the things YOU like. Make good friends with the women there. They have brothers, cousins, in-laws by marriage, etc.
If you let one woman know that you are looking to find someone, pretty soon you’ll have atleast one person say, “Oh, you have to meet by brother’s best friend, he’s going to be at our barbeque next week, do you want to come?”

Good luck!
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I agree with this, too. Be active at your parish. Be seen. Join groups and activities, or create one. If you live in a big city, pick and choose the churches with the programs that are of most interest to you. For every night that you spend at home, is another possible missed opportunity.
 
Honus said:
Some other good Catholic singles sites…

www.catholicmatch.com

www.catholicsingles.com
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I think that the forums in CM are actually nice and better concentrated for singles that are Catholic. I really did not care for what they had to offer, I was only impressed with a few profiles, and not at all impressed with what was coming after me. It is pricey for a dating site that pays their admin poorly and suggests you just settle for what is pursuing you. You can get taken off their site for being too picky and/or complaining too much. Really seems more like a drive for money from a fellow Catholic, as this person doesn’t really seem to want to bring their prices down.

I think CS allows a lot of non catholics on there, I am not sure, but I searched it out, and never bought, I was not really impressed.
 
rpp said:
As a former member of Catholic Match, I can only say that I would urge people, in the strongest possible terms, to avoid them. Stay away. They even permit people who are married and whose divorce is not final to be members.

Catholic singles seems like a decent place.

Personally, I recommend www.avemariasingles.com. In fact, they discourage people who are not eligible for sacramental marriage from joining. It is also endorsed by Father Benedict Groeschel, from EWTN’s shoe Sunday Night Live.
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I perused AMS, not really anyone interesting for me on there either. AMS is a bit too ultra conservative for me, and I have a complex enough as it is.
 
I was humored by a CAF contributor propositioning me to try their site but this couple who seemed to be promoting their site was pushing the fact that theirs was by far much better because not only do you have to abide by all the restrictions of AMS, but you both must be untouched! HA! I must admit, if I could find a man around my age who had a stellar personality and was still a virgin, I say yeah we get married and go straight to sainthood.

Well, if you want a virgin man you can search out virgin2virgin, :D.
 
Dori1 said:
Met my husband of 15 years on public motorcycle outing through the foothills. Of course, I loved to ride. That’s the one piece of advice I can offer. Please, don’t suddenly take up golf to meet a man. (Unless you’ve been dying to take up golf for years, of course).

If you meet the “man of your dreams” while doing something you’re not really interested in, you can’t complain later if you find yourself a “golf widow” or “sports widow” or whatever.
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YES
 
Dori1 said:
Met my husband of 15 years on public motorcycle outing through the foothills. Of course, I loved to ride. That’s the one piece of advice I can offer. Please, don’t suddenly take up golf to meet a man. (Unless you’ve been dying to take up golf for years, of course).

If you meet the “man of your dreams” while doing something you’re not really interested in, you can’t complain later if you find yourself a “golf widow” or “sports widow” or whatever.
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And that’s why I don’t take dance lessons 🙂
 
Magickman said:
Where do the men go?

Where do the women go?

I have heard these questions so many times. As if the locations of men and women are mysteries.

Men and women go to church. They belong to clubs and political organizations. They live in neigborhoods. They go to work and school. They enjoy sports, camping, and festivals. In fact, men and women are just about everywhere.

The real question, unspoken here, is “Why can’t I meet someone?”

That, I think, is less about where the men or the women are, and more about our attitudes and outlook.

If we are confident, positive, and open, it is much easier to meet new people. The answer to the question is within us, and the way we approach the world.
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I think this is true. I know in my case I would probably still be a bachelor if my wife were not assertive. We met 10 years ago on the old MSN Catholic Chat site. After a long time of talking we finally met at her insistence and next thing you know we were standing before her priest at Mass. on a Sat. morning in Idaho professing our vows.She moved to our home in KC and eight years later after many ups and downs I still thank God every day for her assertiveness.👍
 
peregrinus_WA said:
Well, I ain’t gonna resist. I swore off the opposite gender years ago. They were/are not worth the time and effort. And, for the most part, it seems that they were looking for the millionaire model types and, if you did not measure up, you were just someone to toy around with.

Yes, it sounds harsh, but I think I am happier this way. No, not think,** I am happier**.
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well you certainly sound a lot happier… :rolleyes:
 
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