Where do you draw the line?

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htk553

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I am currently enrolled in RCIA. I consider myself to be Catholic( very proud of that) and I am anxious for my baptism and confirmation 🙂
I have had my faith choice attacked repeatedly by family, friends, and co-workers. I stand strong by my choice and I don’t nor will I ever regret the choice that I made to become Catholic.

Recently, my wife’s biological father and her grandmother (they are Methodists) called and asked my wife if she is thinking about converting to the Catholic Church. My wife said " I haven’t really thought about it" to which her father said “You better damn well not!”. Her grandmother was heard in the background saying “No good Catholics!”. Her father and grandmother continued to slam the Catholic faith and Catholics in general.

Today my father in law’s truck wouldn’t start and he was in a town 10 miles away and needed a wrench brought to him. My wife asked if I wanted to go help him and I said no not after what he and his mother said about me. She understood why I said what I said and she took the wrench to him. I sent her a text saying “Tell him it’s a Catholic wrench saving his Protestant a##”.

I know I was NOT being a good Christian by not helping him and I know we are supposed to love everyone regardless, but I felt the need to “strike back” because I am insulted by him and his ways.

I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
 
Do not strike back. The line is drawn, I would say where St. Francis drew it. Sometimes the best way to evangelize is not to use words and live Christ’s way. Others will be attracted to this, and can say, “Wow, so that’s what a real Christian is.” You might consider apologizing for being snippy, but you needn’t feel defensive. Be confident in your decision and live the faith according to your understanding. Don’t worry about critics. :o
 
The adage “Kill em with kindness” works. Stay strong, brother, your time is almost at hand.👍
 
By not helping, and certainly by making a comment as such, only perpetuates the notion that Catholics are bad people. I think you made a grave error in not offering to help out, and certainly think that you crossed the “line” you drew by calling him out like that. This would have been a great opportunity to show him, as a man, and as a good Catholic, that you were willing to help because it was the right thing to do. Religion aside, I think you messed up. You also have to think of the integrity of your girlfriend, and a decision like that may not have cemented your willingness to ever be approved.
 
MarcoPolo said:
Do not strike back. The line is drawn, I would say where St. Francis drew it. Sometimes the best way to evangelize is not to use words and live Christ’s way. Others will be attracted to this, and can say, “Wow, so that’s what a real Christian is.” You might consider apologizing for being snippy, but you needn’t feel defensive. Be confident in your decision and live the faith according to your understanding. Don’t worry about critics. :o
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Thank you Marco and you are correct. I try to remind myself of Jn 15,18 in times of attack and criticism. I should also add that he is lapsed in his faith.
 
BootCampJr said:
By not helping, and certainly by making a comment as such, only perpetuates the notion that Catholics are bad people. I think you made a grave error in not offering to help out, and certainly think that you crossed the “line” you drew by calling him out like that. This would have been a great opportunity to show him, as a man, and as a good Catholic, that you were willing to help because it was the right thing to do. Religion aside, I think you messed up. You also have to think of the integrity of your girlfriend, and a decision like that may not have cemented your willingness to ever be approved.
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True. I did set a bad example as a Catholic 😦

btw- she is my wife not my girlfriend 🙂 This man is: racially prejudice, prejudice against other faiths, and degrades women. My wife is not exactly happy with him. He used to beat my wife when she was a child as well as beat his wife at the time.

I agree 100% that I did wrong!! I will forgive him for his insults to me and I will ask for forgiveness from our Father. I gave into my emotions and was weak.
 
My apologies to your wife. However, I wouldn’t necessarily beat myself up over this either. I certainly understand that it can be quite frustrating to deal with those that think less of you for any reason.

May God grant you the strength to persist in your quest to find the knowledge that He gave us the willingness to seek. May you find comfort in Our God, and seek refuge in your Catholic family.
 
You need your wife’s help.

My husband is not Catholic. His parents WERE Catholic, but turned from the faith.

My husband does stand up to his parents. They are not allowed to slam my religion. If they do, he calls them out about it.
 
The best revenge is the life lived well.

It is also the best apologetic for the faith. Many, many Protestants dislike the Church but love Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa.

The best thing is to let it roll off. We have been blessed with the Truth; others have to settle for less—much less. They are confined within the prison of a stunted and crippled Christianity which their forbears (yes, forbears, Mr President, not “forbearers”) thrust upon them through their pride-fueled theology of subtraction. They have been denied their birthright. We should pity them that—they yearn for it still and can never be satisfied outside the Church Christ founded.

When they act in a bigoted and unChristian manner, shall we be surprised? Did Christ not warn again and again that we should be hated on his account? Did not heretic after heretic arise claiming to be true Christians but revealing their nature in the lack of good fruit blooming from them?

These are hard facts—this is the world as it is. We Catholics must be in the world but not of it.

Leave the pettiness to the anti-Catholics—they’re the ones who cling to it even as we cling to Christ.
 
htk553 said:
I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
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I think Christ drew the line at somewhere beyond 70 times 7. 🙂

We all understand your feelings, but we are called to pattern our lives after Jesus Christ.
 
Thank you all for your replies. I did not act in a correct way. I will try my best to put my emotions on pause and regain composure when faced with difficult situations 🙂
 
htk553 said:
Thank you all for your replies. I did not act in a correct way. I will try my best to put my emotions on pause and regain composure when faced with difficult situations 🙂
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I think we’ve all been there—it’s a lot easier to react in the most Christian fashion after reflection than in the heat of the moment. We’re all striving to make our first impulse the most Christlike response.

It is also more difficult when dealing with family—they know precisely which buttons to push when lashing out. Don’t get discouraged!
 
htk553 said:
I know I was NOT being a good Christian by not helping him and I know we are supposed to love everyone regardless, but I felt the need to “strike back” because I am insulted by him and his ways.

I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
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Actually, you would have struck a truer blow if you had taken the wrench to him yourself,and told him that you were praying anxiously for him to be able to get the truck started, since you know what a terrible inconvenience such difficulties can be.

If he has any human feelings at all, he would have been red-faced and ashamed in front of you. 😃
 
htk553 said:
I am currently enrolled in RCIA. I consider myself to be Catholic( very proud of that) and I am anxious for my baptism and confirmation 🙂
I have had my faith choice attacked repeatedly by family, friends, and co-workers. I stand strong by my choice and I don’t nor will I ever regret the choice that I made to become Catholic.

Recently, my wife’s biological father and her grandmother (they are Methodists) called and asked my wife if she is thinking about converting to the Catholic Church. My wife said " I haven’t really thought about it" to which her father said “You better damn well not!”. Her grandmother was heard in the background saying “No good Catholics!”. Her father and grandmother continued to slam the Catholic faith and Catholics in general.

Today my father in law’s truck wouldn’t start and he was in a town 10 miles away and needed a wrench brought to him. My wife asked if I wanted to go help him and I said no not after what he and his mother said about me. She understood why I said what I said and she took the wrench to him. I sent her a text saying “Tell him it’s a Catholic wrench saving his Protestant a##”.

I know I was NOT being a good Christian by not helping him and I know we are supposed to love everyone regardless, but I felt the need to “strike back” because I am insulted by him and his ways.

I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
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The text you sent your wife made me laugh, but you are correct that it was not a very Catholic thing to say.

You should never draw the line on helping people if you are able to regardless of how much they slam our Catholic Faith. Many slam the faith based on their negative personal experiences with Catholics and over time (could be very long time or very short) with positive experiences with Catholics it may open them up to be able to get to the point of inquiry on what the Catholic Church truly teaches and once they find that out, it won’t be long before you see them in RCIA.

If I were in your shoes, I would humble myself and apologize for your attitude of unwillingness to help him and tell him that in the future if there is anything he needs, that you can help him with, you will help him because you are a Catholic and that is what your Faith teaches you to do. It’s in the Didache, The Teachings of the Twelve Apostles.

In the meantime all the negativity stuff they say, offer it up to Jesus for their conversions. And also if they ramble to you about it try and ask them to tell you 1 specific thing that they have against the Catholic Church and just answer them on that one topic, if they try to continue the rambling tell them that they only get to argue with you about one specific thing each time you see or speak to them.

You should stand your ground around your children, if you have any, that they will need to respect your home and not say those things against the Catholic Church in your home nor around your children or they will lose the priveledge of coming over or you taking the children to see them.
 
htk553 said:
I know I was NOT being a good Christian by not helping him and I know we are supposed to love everyone regardless, but I felt the need to “strike back” because I am insulted by him and his ways.

I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
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We are called to draw it where Christ himself drew it. Hint: the only drawing Christ did was in the dirt when the elders were planning on stoning the adulteress.

No trial has come to you except what’s human. God is faithful and will not try you beyond your strength, but with the trial he will provide a way out so that even though your relative has treated you poorly you can muster up the strength -empowered by God’s grace - to love him by offering your body as a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to God. (cf 1st Cor 10:13 and Romans 12:1).

In a very real sense when we claim that some one has “pushed us over the edge” we are claiming that God’s grace is not good enough for us :eek: ! While I can totally sympathize with you, deliberately avoiding helping a neighbor in need - out of resentment - is a pretty serious sin.
 
htk, “being” Christian is one day at a time – well, actually, one hour or even one minute at a time. It’s constant work. When I began studying the Bible, exhortations to pray constantly – unceasingly – at first didn’t sink in as do-able. But I keep learning prayer is critical for me to “be” Christian in thought, word, and action.

I used to roll my eyeballs when reading Matthew 11:28-30…
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will givef you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”
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…but is connecting to God in prayer that helps lighten the everyday burdens that life presents to me.

Next time you experience, or even think about, your father-in-law’s hardness of heart, pray for him, and for yourself. God wants him in heaven too. Maybe God’s using you to be a light of his love to your FIL. The Lord’s Prayer is terrific. Imagine Jesus kneeling next to you praying to our heavenly Father.
 
htk553 said:
I have to ask you my Catholic brothers and sisters…where do you draw the line on helping people who slam our faith?
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I don’t. I just keep loving them. Eventually they figure it out.

The Rush Limbaugh fans in my family are another story 😉
 
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen often said “There are not a hundred people who hate the Catholic Church, but there are thousands who hate what they think the Church to be” (not sure of the exact wording but the sentiments are his).

After Hurricane Katrina, a reporter asked Fr. William Maestri of the Archdiocese of New Orleans if the diocese was offering assistance to those who were not Catholic. His answer was, “We don’t help them because they’re Catholic. We help them because we’re Catholic.”

Jesus commanded us to turn the other cheek, and told us we were blessed when others persecuted us in his name.

If I were you, I would apologize for losing my temper, thank him for the blessing, and invite him to learn more about the true Catholic faith. It’s the Catholic thing to do. 👍
 
Hey listen, I have have a tuff time with people who slam my Church, but the struggle is interior, never shown to them. Sometimes I feel like reacting as tho “those are fighting words…”, so as others said, don’t beat yourself up about it.

It was certainly a missed opportunity. The agitator in me would have come with wrench in hand telling him you just prayed to our saints in heaven and to our (as in his too) blessed Mother to intercede on his behalf. 😃
 
jmcrae said:
Actually, you would have struck a truer blow if you had taken the wrench to him yourself,and told him that you were praying anxiously for him to be able to get the truck started, since you know what a terrible inconvenience such difficulties can be.

If he has any human feelings at all, he would have been red-faced and ashamed in front of you. 😃
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I would have done this, but instead told him that I was praying to St. Frances of Rome, the patron saint of vehicles! Hah!
 
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