Where do you find Good Catholic woman/man now a days?

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Zzyzx_Road said:
No one is entitled to a boyfriend or girlfriend as the case may be, let alone a spouse. God doesn’t deliver them right to your doorstep fully formed, no work necessary on your part. Life ain’t fair that way, that’s just how that is, you are measured in part by how well you deal with that. Recall the parable of the talents. Pray all you want but understand this: if you don’t get your rear end out the door, you’re not giving the Lord any opportunities to put someone in your path. Pray all you want, but no substitute for putting in the effort.

About being single and having trouble getting signed up: the first parish I stayed long enough to be a member at following my reverting to Catholicism allowed me to sign up for eucharistic ministry. Did a few other things for them here and there. The area was very dense with family so it was a very, very family-oriented parish, yet I was welcomed into the ministry ranks without any issues. But no single women in my approximate age range interested in me so I dated outside. Did have one older widow who liked me but she was almost halfway to my mother’s age.

After moving around for a few years, I’m in a different parish now and it looks like I’m pretty set for the next few years so I just signed up recently to do eucharistic ministry again. Though it will be several weeks before I can start, it is looking like I will get to serve again in that capacity. This time, I’ll see if it’s possible to build a social circle in this parish and meet someone through it. In the meantime, I’ll continue to date outside the church as before.

The important thing, like I said before: get yer rear end out of the house.
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Good start. I’d urge you to look in to other ministries at the parish as well that might have more social activities involved…volunteer ministries, or social groups.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
Honestly, at this point I couldn’t care less if a girl’s Catholic or not. I’d just like to have some kind of reassurance that I’m not completely repulsive once every other decade. That seems to be asking a bit much, though. Any idea how I could go about lowering my expectations to something more realistic?
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Being young is tough at times.
You don’t have to “lower your expectations” necessarily…depends on what your expectations are…maybe you should honestly examine them tho. Mainly becaseu they can affect what you telegraph to others.

It’s very easy to feel forlorn and desperate…and if we give in to those sentiments and that mindset, believe me, what we telegraph to others is urgency, desperation, neediness and being on the hunt. We might tend to move too fast.
So don’t let yourself go there. Easy does it.
Put on a happy face, think positive, and by all means get involved in things just for the fun of it (or in the case of volunteering, for the good of it). Be happy (it attracts people) and get out there. It’ll happen when you least expect it.
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
No one is entitled to a boyfriend or girlfriend as the case may be, let alone a spouse. God doesn’t deliver them right to your doorstep fully formed, no work necessary on your part. Life ain’t fair that way, that’s just how that is, you are measured in part by how well you deal with that. Recall the parable of the talents. Pray all you want but understand this: if you don’t get your rear end out the door, you’re not giving the Lord any opportunities to put someone in your path. Pray all you want, but no substitute for putting in the effort.

About being single and having trouble getting signed up: the first parish I stayed long enough to be a member at following my reverting to Catholicism allowed me to sign up for eucharistic ministry. Did a few other things for them here and there. The area was very dense with family so it was a very, very family-oriented parish, yet I was welcomed into the ministry ranks without any issues. But no single women in my approximate age range interested in me so I dated outside. Did have one older widow who liked me but she was almost halfway to my mother’s age.

After moving around for a few years, I’m in a different parish now and it looks like I’m pretty set for the next few years so I just signed up recently to do eucharistic ministry again. Though it will be several weeks before I can start, it is looking like I will get to serve again in that capacity. This time, I’ll see if it’s possible to build a social circle in this parish and meet someone through it. In the meantime, I’ll continue to date outside the church as before.

The important thing, like I said before: get yer rear end out of the house.
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Excellent post. 👍
 
MacQ said:
Being young is tough at times.
You don’t have to “lower your expectations” necessarily…depends on what your expectations are…maybe you should honestly examine them tho. Mainly becaseu they can affect what you telegraph to others.

It’s very easy to feel forlorn and desperate…and if we give in to those sentiments and that mindset, believe me, what we telegraph to others is urgency, desperation, neediness and being on the hunt. We might tend to move too fast.
So don’t let yourself go there. Easy does it.
Put on a happy face, think positive, and by all means get involved in things just for the fun of it (or in the case of volunteering, for the good of it). Be happy (it attracts people) and get out there. It’ll happen when you least expect it.
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Yup. They don’t fall out of the sky. You have to actively seek, in a non-stalker sort of way. 😉 Lots of good advice here…from Zzyzx, Xan, and MacQ.

Wow. All the consonants wave weighed in! LOL
 
It brings to mind how does a man know when a woman means no vs. NO. Many Catholic men don’t want to come across as stalkers.
:whacky::yukonjoe::takeoff:
 
WilT said:
It brings to mind how does a man know when a woman means no vs. NO. Many Catholic men don’t want to come across as stalkers.
:whacky::yukonjoe::takeoff:
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Safe bet: take any no as a no.
 
JorduSpeaks said:
Honestly, at this point I couldn’t care less if a girl’s Catholic or not. I’d just like to have some kind of reassurance that I’m not completely repulsive once every other decade. That seems to be asking a bit much, though. Any idea how I could go about lowering my expectations to something more realistic?
Click to expand...
This is how I feel too. I’ve never met a single, single catholic woman, at least one I knew was Catholic. When people ask me about relationship status, I just say I don’t date. If they ask why, I tell them I don’t know anyone I want to date. I work in IT so there are no women at my work, there are no single/age appropriate woman at church and my hobbies are pretty much male centric. Combine those circumstances with my Aspergers and I’m doomed to be lonely. There is that seemingly mythical/magical place that seems to only be referred to as “out there”. Maybe, if I can ever find that place, my fortunes will change 🙂
 
Bataar said:
This is how I feel too. I’ve never met a single, single catholic woman, at least one I knew was Catholic. When people ask me about relationship status, I just say I don’t date. If they ask why, I tell them I don’t know anyone I want to date. I work in IT so there are no women at my work, there are no single/age appropriate woman at church and my hobbies are pretty much male centric. Combine those circumstances with my Aspergers and I’m doomed to be lonely. There is that seemingly mythical/magical place that seems to only be referred to as “out there”. Maybe, if I can ever find that place, my fortunes will change 🙂
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Internet?
 
After a break from IT…take a chance on OUT.
As in outside…outdoors. 😉
you’d be amazed all the wimmenz out there…👍
 
Xantippe said:
Internet?
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I have been told that lots of people have met on those Catholic singles sites.

But I think a lot depends on where one lives. I once lived as a single man in St. Louis, and Catholic young women were everywhere. One did need a bit of boldness at times to approach them in everyday life, but almost never were any unfriendly. But they also had these massive dances for Catholic young people there, and if, as a guy, you couldn’t find a nice girl there, you just weren’t looking.

I met my wife in St. Louis, at a election night victory party. It was just full of young Catholic single women. They were campaign workers.

Now I live in the Ozarks, where I’m from originally, and Catholics are few and far between. However, (and I almost hesitate to say this) when I was single living here, there were protestant young women who were resolute in their protestantism, but a lot of them weren’t. I would never encourage dating protestants if Catholic singles are numerous in the area, but if they’re not, then I think a young person could pretty quickly figure out which singles are amenable to conversion and which ones aren’t. There is quite a bit of that around here, and the “pre-cana converts” seem sincere to me.
 
lol. Internet Xantippe! There are so many people in the internet posing as anything. Let’s say I get to know a wonderful Catholic women per internet and then I get called to the Jerry Springer show! :love::hmmm::hypno::yukonjoe::slapfight::blackeye:Ouch! Perhaps we may have take some risks.
 
Xantippe said:
Internet?
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I’ve tried that a couple of times. Back in July, my year long membership at Catholic Match expired. In my area, there weren’t a lot of people but I never received a single reply to an email I sent out. Granted, there’s no way to tell if they were paying members or not so maybe they couldn’t reply.
 
Bataar said:
This is how I feel too. I’ve never met a single, single catholic woman, at least one I knew was Catholic. When people ask me about relationship status, I just say I don’t date. If they ask why, I tell them I don’t know anyone I want to date. I work in IT so there are no women at my work, there are no single/age appropriate woman at church and my hobbies are pretty much male centric. Combine those circumstances with my Aspergers and I’m doomed to be lonely. There is that seemingly mythical/magical place that seems to only be referred to as “out there”. Maybe, if I can ever find that place, my fortunes will change 🙂
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too bad you aren’t down in Portland area. There seems to be quite a few IT women. Not sure their religion etc. But I think IT people are - unique. I’ve overheard IT people talking and its a very specific language. And IT people - the ones I work with - have a hard time relating to non IT people… like non IT people might be fist bumping in the hall about the big game and the IT person is like wondering what computer game he missed that everyone is so happy about. Back when I worked in silicon valley, valley geeks could hire a counseling service to teach them to communicate to normal people, i.e., how to socialize and small talk and things like that. Here where I work now in Oregon, not uncommon at all to greet a geek with “what’d you do this weekend?” and get response “oh, you’re trying to make small talk”. Rambling I know - you have to work at the communication thing with the opposite sex.

But “out there” typically means outside in the real world away from the IT lab or wherever.
 
WilT said:
what’s your opinion on #49 pianistclare?:curtsey:
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there’s a far cry between friendly, a person who smiles and is polite and a person who is drooling and following you at 4 paces. If a person doesn’t think they make a good impression, then they need a VERY close friend who will sit them down and be frank.
As in :
Dude…you stare at people
Dude…you need a new pair of jeans that fit
Dude… the droopy drawers are not doin it for ya
Dude… maybe try shaving, haircut, etc.

A good friend is a boon. Everyone needs one. Women do it all the time. I had a friend tell me once.
“Gurl, you are not wearin’ that skirt, it’s wearing YOU!” LOL
I threw it out that day.
 
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