Where does lying start?

[Kathrin]

I often ask myself this.
Most recent example: My parents (I live upstairs in their house) called me to ask if I had already had dinner, otherwise I could eat with them. I had already prepared something for dinner but not eaten yet. I told her that, which was the truth.
There were one or two more important reasons why I didn’t want to come down (I had just washed my hair, and I hate being in kitchen smells with freshly washed hair, and I wasn’t really dressed, and just generally I had been looking forward to just relaxing a bit in front of the TV with my little dinner. I go downstairs later to have coffee with them anyway, that’s our “ritual” every evening. I am an adult, by the way, just live in the same house.)
So if I didn’t say all those reasons, but said “I have already prepared something”, would that be considered lying? Because I omit some stuff?

It really happens quite a bit that I ask myself if something would be considered lying or not. I try to be truthful as best as I can.

Kathrin

 

[LittleMother]

In the example you gave I wouldn’t consider that lying at all. If you’re trying to decieve them, for example, if they holler up & ask you if you’ve eaten & you take a quick bite of the first thing you see just so you can “honestly” say yes, then that would be just as bad as lying IMO.

So, where does lying start?

When your intention is to deceive.

 

[baltobetsy]

All you really need to say is no thank you. I’ll see you for coffee. They don’t need to know every little detail. It’s not deceitful not to offer every little detail. You’re all adults. “No thank you” should suffice.

Betsy

 

[ALLFORHIM]

I agree with all the posters:thumbsup:

 

[Kathrin]

Of course a question would be, is not wanting to reveal all the little details (because they may be embarrassing) a kinf of intending to deceive…

But I guess it depends on whether how important it would be for the other person to know. Some privacy is ok, right?

Thanks all for the replies anyway!

Kathrin

 

[baltobetsy]

Of course a question would be, is not wanting to reveal all the little details (because they may be embarrassing) a kinf of intending to deceive…

But I guess it depends on whether how important it would be for the other person to know. Some privacy is ok, right?

Absolutely, some privacy is OK. It’s one of the building blocks of polite society. Good manners includes not prying into the lives of others without good reason. If you would hesitate to ask the question because it’s possibly rude, then consider yourself excused from answering as well. Nor are you required to volunteer the same little details.

Betsy

 

[whatevergirl]

I also think lying can stem from insecurity. I have known many people…who lie because they fear people’s reactions. But, the thing is…when someone realizes you lied…there’s always a worse reaction than the one you might have received, had you been truthful. ha Weird, isn’t it?

I lied at times as a kid, to go to a party, but said I was going to a gf’s house for sleep overs. Always got caught. Learned valuable lessons about trust. I know that I didn’t want to hear no, because I knew that would have been the reaction, had I just asked to go.