Where is a good, safe Catholic place to learn more about sex

[CompSciGuy]

What exactly do you understand by “more interesting and exciting”? I am not aware of a particularly “catholic” sex “how to” manual. There are any number of secular books. I guess my question to you is “what’s wrong with just experimenting together”? And BTW, how long have you been married?

I guess as far as experimenting goes neither of us has been super creative. I personally don’t have any prior experience with sex before getting married, though she used to have sex in her earlier years, prior to her deeper conversion that she experienced when she was in college. Also, between the two of us, I’m perfectly happy with the way things are now. But I also want her to be happy. She tells me that she is also happy with the way things are, that she enjoys sex with me, she just wants to spice it up as others have said earlier. She didn’t know of a safe place to look for ideas, hence the post. Lately I have been making an effort to make things more romantic for her, and she has responded more positively. We have been married for a whopping two months now, so I guess this is also to be expected.

 

[Boatswain2PA]

Did you check out the blog I linked to at the bottom of my post? That should certainly give you some ideas of how to “spice it up” with your bride.

 

[12345678]

Perhaps I’m misinterpreting you and if so, please let me know. But if I’m understanding you correctly, I do not see why improving the physical aspects of sex (“spicing up”) and “truly giving themselves to each other in love” are mutually exclusive.

Take the key word there, “spice.” The primary purpose of food is to provide the body with nourishment. Yet adding “spice” to make food more flavorable does not need to detract from nourishment, the purpose which is being sought. Properly done, in fact, not only is “spice” not a detraction but is in fact an aid in achieving this purpose. Hey, I’m sure that some of you prefer broccoli in its plain form, but many of us don’t!

The problem for Catholics, in my very humble opinion, is there are a lot of people constantly telling us how to improperly add that “spice” and a scant few voices talking about the proper routes.

I think it would be a good idea to read Christopher West’s book Good News about Sex and Marriage, I think that is the name. He addresses the whole idea of looking externally to spice things up… that isn’t what we need to do… if you are getting bored loving your spouse, you need to read up on what loving your spouse really is, and communicate with your spouse, not go out there and try whatever “experts” want to sell you to increase lust. Lust detracts from true love, it does not add. This is an intimate thing for couples, they don’t need to go out there reading anything graphic, there are no modest kama sutra-ish books or websites out there, the whole approach is wrong. If you want to spice things up, it would be to communicate with your spouse in the intimacy of your relationship, find out what your spouse likes etc, that is what adds to it, not going around reading up semi-porno pointers, nor discussing your sex activities with strangers online, or reading up what other people like to do in their intimacy. Sex is something intimate, thus for modesty reasons it really needs to be treated with delicacy (I know, counter cultural).

 

[Boatswain2PA]

I think it would be a good idea to read Christopher West’s book Good News about Sex and Marriage, I think that is the name. He addresses the whole idea of looking externally to spice things up… that isn’t what we need to do… if you are getting bored loving your spouse, you need to read up on what loving your spouse really is, and communicate with your spouse, not go out there and try whatever “experts” want to sell you to increase lust. Lust detracts from true love, it does not add. This is an intimate thing for couples, they don’t need to go out there reading anything graphic, there are no modest kama sutra-ish books or websites out there, the whole approach is wrong. If you want to spice things up, it would be to communicate with your spouse in the intimacy of your relationship, find out what your spouse likes etc, that is what adds to it, not going around reading up semi-porno pointers, nor discussing your sex activities with strangers online, or reading up what other people like to do in their intimacy. Sex is something intimate, thus for modesty reasons it really needs to be treated with delicacy (I know, counter cultural).

Two counterpoints to your post here.

1. In his “Theology of the Body” Pope John Paul II clearly describes that continence, which is best described as ensuring your sexual desires are focused on your spouse, is virtuous. Another virtuous act is charity to your spouse, which includes ensuring she (or he) is completely satisfied. That is sometimes difficult for some women to do when the sex is limited to “just” the conjugal act. I think Pope John Paul II made it clear. As long as you maintain continence within your marriage, much of what has been held as taboo by many in our faith (such as using marital aids, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc) is perfectly fine as long as it maintains the dual requirements of being unitive and procreative.
2. He may be asking what his spouse likes, but she may not know! How do you know if you like apple pie if you have not only never tasted apple pie, but you’ve never even HEARD about apple pie? There is a lot of sexual repression within our faith, with the topic of sex often being limited to such terms as “the conjugal act”, or “the marital act”. But what does that MEAN? I believe that, for far too many in our faith, “the marital act” is limited to “husband on top missionary sex which MUST be focused on procreation”, when that is only a PART of the gift that God gave us.

To the OP - I applaud your search for new ways to express your continence and charity toward your wife.

 

[fpt]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

Like one catholic spouse, thus as husband with your wife, in my humble opinion, you should debate, discuss and talk with your wife about:

Her own sexual desires, her own sexual pulsions, her own sexual wills, her own sexual vows, her own sexual wishes, her own sexual requirements, her own sexual hopes, her own sexual needs, her own sexual frustrations, her own sexual difficulties, her own sexual fears, her own sexual temptations, her own sexual sins, her own sexual concupiscence, her own sexual preferences and her own sexual fantasies;

Your own sexual desires, your own sexual pulsions, your own sexual wills, your own sexual vows, your own sexual wishes, your own sexual requirements, your own sexual hopes, your own sexual needs, your own sexual frustrations, your own sexual difficulties, your own sexual fears, your own sexual temptations, your own sexual sins, your own sexual concupiscence, your own sexual preferences and your own sexual fantasies ;

The moral right for her to talk about her own sexuality with you.
The moral right for you to talk about your own sexuality with her.
The moral right for her to talk about your own sexuality of male human with you.
The moral right for you to talk about her own sexuality of female human with her.
The moral right for her to talk about the sexuality of your couple (the commun sexuality) with you;
The moral right for you to talk about the sexuality of your couple (the commun sexuality) with her;

You need to have great talks between you and her, about all the topics in link with the conjugal act with all corolarries. All topics can be discussed, freely, without no taboo. The total free speech between spouses is important. Each one can express everything about the conjugal sexuality.

 

[fpt]

Some comments

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, *** Ask her, she is your conjugal lover. With her, you are on the way of the conjugal discovery of the union of bodies. The union of bodies between spouse is developmental and educative. The discovery of bodies is step by step, day by day, month by month, year by year. She is your teacher concerning the conjugal sexuality, you are her student concerning the conjugal sexuality, and you are her teacher concerning the conjugal sexuality, she is your student concerning the conjugal sexuality. Each one teaches and learns with, by and via the other.***

maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

 

[fpt]

My comments

I guess as far as experimenting goes neither of us has been super creative. I personally don’t have any prior experience with sex before getting married, though she used to have sex in her earlier years, prior to her deeper conversion that she experienced when she was in college.

You need to know, that a normal wife, even a catholic wife, has sexual needs, sexual fantasies, and does not like the conjugal sexual routine. The husband has the moral obligation of means of trying, in the good faith in respecting the moral order of the marital act, of pleasing to her wife and of satisfying her wife, sexually speaking. You are her conjugal lover, her conjugal love, her conjugal beloved, and her conjugal New Adam. The same reasoning has to be held for her in your favor.

Also, between the two of us, I’m perfectly happy with the way things are now. You have to think to her conjugal sexuality But I also want her to be happy. She tells me that she is also happy with the way things are, that she enjoys sex with me, she just wants to spice it up as others have said earlier. Her will of trying some legitimate and moral fantaisies.

Some examples for struggling against the conjugal routine of the conjugal act:

The person who requests the marital request for the conjugal act, the sexual positions, the sexual quantity, the sexual quality (the different types of female orgasm, the foreplay on the secondary erogenous parts, the foreplay on the primary erogenous parts called sexual foreplay by the caresses, in the human fashion), the frequency of the marital act, the duration of the conjugal act (the moral obligation of means of the husband to last, in favor of her wife, and to avoid the premature ejaculation and co), the places of the practice of the conjugal act…
**

She didn’t know of a safe place to look for ideas, hence the post. Lately I have been making an effort to make things more romantic for her, and she has responded more positively. We have been married for a whopping two months now, so I guess this is also to be expected.** *** In two months of marriage, you have not had enough time for understanding and for knowing the deep needs of each one on this topics. Step by step, day by day…You have the time.***!!!

 

[fpt]

I guess as far as experimenting goes neither of us has been super creative. I personally don’t have any prior experience with sex before getting married, though she used to have sex in her earlier years, prior to her deeper conversion that she experienced when she was in college. Also, between the two of us, I’m perfectly happy with the way things are now. But I also want her to be happy. She tells me that she is also happy with the way things are, that she enjoys sex with me, she just wants to spice it up as others have said earlier. She didn’t know of a safe place to look for ideas, hence the post. Lately I have been making an effort to make things more romantic for her, and she has responded more positively. We have been married for a whopping two months now, so I guess this is also to be expected.

Ask to your catholic priests of your parish, to a catholic theologian, to a catholic philosopher, to a catholic sexologist, to a catholic psychologist, to a catholic psychoanalyst, to a catholic gynecologist and to a catholic midwife. Via them, you can get helpful information.

 

[fpt]

**Corrections
**

My comments

*** In two months of marriage, you have not had enough time for understanding and for knowing the deep needs of each one on this topics. Step by step, day by day…You have the time.***!!!

Fantasies not fantaisies. There are good fantasies and he wrong fantasies, morally speaking. Two destinies for those sexual dreams, those sexual hopes and those sexual desires!!! If you want information, you can send to me some private messages.

 

[fpt]

Correction

**Corrections
**

Fantasies not fantaisies. There are good fantasies and wrong fantasies, morally speaking. Two destinies for those sexual dreams, those sexual hopes and those sexual desires!!! If you want information, you can send to me some private messages.

On CAF, the debates on this topic are very debated. The unitary thought is not very easy to find out. The same thing on the internet.

 

[12345678]

Two counterpoints to your post here.

1. In his “Theology of the Body” Pope John Paul II clearly describes that continence, which is best described as ensuring your sexual desires are focused on your spouse, is virtuous. Another virtuous act is charity to your spouse, which includes ensuring she (or he) is completely satisfied. That is sometimes difficult for some women to do when the sex is limited to “just” the conjugal act. I think Pope John Paul II made it clear. As long as you maintain continence within your marriage, much of what has been held as taboo by many in our faith (such as using marital aids, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc) is perfectly fine as long as it maintains the dual requirements of being unitive and procreative.
2. He may be asking what his spouse likes, but she may not know! How do you know if you like apple pie if you have not only never tasted apple pie, but you’ve never even HEARD about apple pie? There is a lot of sexual repression within our faith, with the topic of sex often being limited to such terms as “the conjugal act”, or “the marital act”. But what does that MEAN? I believe that, for far too many in our faith, “the marital act” is limited to “husband on top missionary sex which MUST be focused on procreation”, when that is only a PART of the gift that God gave us.

To the OP - I applaud your search for new ways to express your continence and charity toward your wife.

Two counterpoints to yours:

1. Of course foreplay is important. Reading Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibility you can see that it is encouraged for the husband to make sure he satisfies the wife’s needs (and vice versa, but clearly women have a different curve of arousal). This does not mean that the correct way to address this is to go out there are read graphic sexual descriptions.
2. No one said the sexual act is limited to the missionary position. We talked about couples needing to talk with each other about what they like etc, they can communicate in this area and in their own intimacy see how they can share their love… The pie analogy doesn’t make much sense to me because sex is something private, and apple pies are not. Eating an apple pie does not involve discussing activities that are private. Also, I’m sure there are thousands of types of pie out there, it doesn’t mean you will not be able to enjoy dessert if you don’t try them all. Try the desserts you have available at home, try serving it different ways, talk about what you each like better. There is no need to go over to your neighbors house to see what they are eating in order to be able to enjoy what you have at home.

 

[12345678]

Two counterpoints to yours:

1. Of course foreplay is important. Reading Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibility you can see that it is encouraged for the husband to make sure he satisfies the wife’s needs (and vice versa, but clearly women have a different curve of arousal). This does not mean that the correct way to address this is to go out there are read graphic sexual descriptions.
2. No one said the sexual act is limited to the missionary position. We talked about couples needing to talk with each other about what they like etc, they can communicate in this area and in their own intimacy see how they can share their love… The pie analogy doesn’t make much sense to me because sex is something private, and apple pies are not. Eating an apple pie does not involve discussing activities that are private. Also, I’m sure there are thousands of types of pie out there, it doesn’t mean you will not be able to enjoy dessert if you don’t try them all. Try the desserts you have available at home, try serving it different ways, talk about what you each like better. There is no need to go over to your neighbors house to see what they are eating in order to be able to enjoy what you have at home.

BTW, OP, I think you are very wise in the way you ask this. You are aware that places where people are talking about graphical sex aren’t good safe places for Catholics to be, morally.

 

[fpt]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

For instance:

All the sexual positions are morally good, per se. All positions should be attempted in order to avoid sexual routine and in order to find out and to know the preferences of each one and thus to alternate for the filling of sexual hopes of each one. The fact of pleasing the other and the fact of satisfying the other, sexually speaking, is one part of obligations of the catholic marriage: efforts, sacrifices (to do, or not to do) and the fact of responding to legitimate needs of the other, ***in the respect of the moral order of the conjugal act. ***The bi-laterality, the mutuality, the reciprocity, the alternation, the equality and the equity are important rules of the conjugal sexuality. The conjugal sexual submission, in the two senses, in her favor and or in your favor: " Today, I say yes to your sexual will, tomorrow, you say yes to my sexual will ". The foreplay on wife are so essential.

A non-full list of rights and obligations

the moral right for her to see / to look at / to stare, totally, the male nudity of her husband, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to see / to look at / to stare, totally, the female nudity of his wife, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be seen / to be looked at / to be stared totally naked by her husband, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be seen / to be looked at / to be stared totally naked by his wife, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to undress herself in front of him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to denude herself in front of him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be undressed by him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be denuded by him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to undress himself in front of her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to denude himself in front of her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be undressed by her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be denuded by her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;

Her moral right to require to him to take normal medical treatments for solving his erectile dysfunctions;
His moral right to take normal medical treatments for solving his own erectile dysfunctions;
His moral obligation to take normal medical treatments for solving his own erectile dysfunctions;
His moral right to require to her to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;
Her moral right to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;
Her moral obligation to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;

His moral right to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;
His moral obligation to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;
Her moral right to require to him to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the male sexual pleasures, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the male orgasm, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the normal sexual satisfaction, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the sexual appeasement, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to help her husband to reach his sexual appeasement via her sexual caresses and her caresses, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to help his wife to reach her sexual appeasement via his sexual caresses and his caresses, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach female several orgasms, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to be a multi-orgasmic woman , during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach the normal sexual satisfaction, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach the sexual appeasement, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to stay present near her husband after the session of the conjugal act;

the moral right for him to stay present near his wife after the session of the conjugal act;

Good reading and good luck!!!

Sexual concessions to married couples and homosexuality
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=864991

 

[twoangels]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

Here’s a quick overview of some principles.

But beyond that, I second the book Holy Sex

 

[Allegra]

You’d do better to ask your wife what she wants.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

For instance:

All the sexual positions are morally good, per se. All positions should be attempted in order to avoid sexual routine and in order to find out and to know the preferences of each one and thus to alternate for the filling of sexual hopes of each one. The fact of pleasing the other and the fact of satisfying the other, sexually speaking, is one part of obligations of the catholic marriage: efforts, sacrifices (to do, or not to do) and the fact of responding to legitimate needs of the other, ***in the respect of the moral order of the conjugal act. ***The bi-laterality, the mutuality, the reciprocity, the alternation, the equality and the equity are important rules of the conjugal sexuality. The conjugal sexual submission, in the two senses, in her favor and or in your favor: " Today, I say yes to your sexual will, tomorrow, you say yes to my sexual will ". The foreplay on wife are so essential.

A non-full list of rights and obligations

the moral right for her to see / to look at / to stare, totally, the male nudity of her husband, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to see / to look at / to stare, totally, the female nudity of his wife, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be seen / to be looked at / to be stared totally naked by her husband, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be seen / to be looked at / to be stared totally naked by his wife, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to undress herself in front of him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to denude herself in front of him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be undressed by him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for her to be denuded by him for him, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to undress himself in front of her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to denude himself in front of her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be undressed by her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;
the moral right for him to be denuded by her for her, in the love and in the tenderness;

Her moral right to require to him to take normal medical treatments for solving his erectile dysfunctions;
His moral right to take normal medical treatments for solving his own erectile dysfunctions;
His moral obligation to take normal medical treatments for solving his own erectile dysfunctions;
His moral right to require to her to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;
Her moral right to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;
Her moral obligation to take normal medical treatments for solving her own female sexual troubles;

His moral right to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;
His moral obligation to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;
Her moral right to require to him to take viagra pills for solving his male impotence, if no negative effect on him;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the male sexual pleasures, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the male orgasm, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the normal sexual satisfaction, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to expect to reach the sexual appeasement, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to help her husband to reach his sexual appeasement via her sexual caresses and her caresses, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for him to help his wife to reach her sexual appeasement via his sexual caresses and his caresses, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach female several orgasms, during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to be a multi-orgasmic woman , during a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach the normal sexual satisfaction, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to expect to reach the sexual appeasement, after a session of the marital act, in the love and in the tenderness ;

the moral right for her to stay present near her husband after the session of the conjugal act;

the moral right for him to stay present near his wife after the session of the conjugal act;

Good reading and good luck!!!

Sexual concessions to married couples and homosexuality
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=864991

I have read similar posts of yours, and I want to tell you how much I agree with your perspective and appreciate the beauty with which you express it. Your upholding the sacred beauty and loving freedom in the marital bed is a fine antidote to the “make love through a hole in the sheet” mentality - and yes, I know that was never officially taught - that seems to at least subtly underlie much of North American thinking on the subject.

 

[fpt]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

Ask her what she wants concerning the conjugal sexuality with you. She is your wife and thus your conjugal lover. She is your conjugal mistress, ask what she wants. Is it a issue of talking with her about that? The free speech with her about that topic is essential.

 

[fpt]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

The catholic couple has the moral right to search, to discover and to elaborate his own Holy erotism of the conjugal act. Read the Song of Songs. Read the Old Testament, there are good examples.

 

[fpt]

Hello all,

I feel awkward posting this… I am recently married and my wife and I are both devout Catholics practicing NFP, etc. My wife says she wants to make marital relations more interesting and exciting, but neither she nor I know of a safe place to learn things (techniques, etc.). The internet is a sketchy place to look for these things because of all the pornography and stuff. I really don’t have any sexual experience prior to being married so I don’t even know what she’s talking about, maybe someone could point me in the right direction?

During the session of the marital act, there are essential things. My *non-full list *is the following:

The fact of taking time and the fact of not be rushed;

The fact of being both an active agent and a passive agent: the fact of giving foreplay and sexual preliminaries on the body of the other, and the fact of receiving foreplay and sexual preliminaries coming from the spouse on his or her own body. Each one must work on the body of the other, in the conjugal love and the conjugal tenderness. The fact of pleasing to the other and the fact of satisfying the other, in giving and in receiving: it is the sexual cooperation, the fact of working together, sexually speaking;

The donation of the body, the fact of giving his or her own body to the other and the fact of offering his or her own body to the other: the gift of his or her body to the other and the present of his or her body to the other. What implies: a trust, an abandon, the fact of letting go, the fact of be agreed with the loss of control and the fact of being passive;

The reception of the body, the fact of receiving the body to the other, the fact of taking the body to the other, and the fact of having body to the other. What implies:* a tenderness, a love, a control, the fact of being active, the fact of mastering*.

The conjugal act is a phenomenom in three moments, and each one is important and essential for each member of couple. Each one has to play his or her role during each moment.

 

[fpt]

Corrections

During the session of the marital act, there are essential things. My *non-full list *is the following:

The fact of taking time and the fact of not be rushed;

The fact of being both an active agent and a passive agent: the fact of giving foreplay and sexual preliminaries on the body of the other, and the fact of receiving foreplay and sexual preliminaries coming from the spouse on his or her own body. Each one must work on the body of the other, in the conjugal love and the conjugal tenderness. The fact of pleasing to the other and the fact of satisfying the other, in giving and in receiving: it is the sexual cooperation, the fact of working together, sexually speaking;

The donation of the body, the fact of giving his or her own body to the other and the fact of offering his or her own body to the other: the gift of his or her body to the other and the present of his or her body to the other. What implies: a trust, an abandon, the fact of letting go, the fact of be agreed with the loss of control and the fact of being passive;

The reception of the body, the fact of receiving the body of the other, the fact of taking the body of the other, and the fact of having body of the other. What implies: a tenderness, a love, a control, the fact of being active, the fact of mastering.

The conjugal act is a phenomenom in three moments, and each one is important and essential for each member of couple. Each one has to play his or her role during each moment.

The purpose is to avoid the conjugal sexual routine and to be in t*he true gift of himself or herself.
*