Where should a good Catholic be buried? (totally hypothetical)

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St_Francis

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Where to people get buried with so many adult children being so far from the families? We adult children can’t be buried near our parents (no space), so… ? it just seems very strange to be buried in a place where no one can visit your grave.

Several months ago, my friend and i found an abandoned cemetary. Only one person was buried there after about 1910.

Anyway, what are people thinking about this?

Thanks for any thoughts.
 
St_Francis said:
Where to people get buried with so many adult children being so far from the families? We adult children can’t be buried near our parents (no space), so… ? it just seems very strange to be buried in a place where no one can visit your grave.

Several months ago, my friend and i found an abandoned cemetary. Only one person was buried there after about 1910.

Anyway, what are people thinking about this?

Thanks for any thoughts.
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I understand your worry.
This is only my personal opinion:
When I die, it is very likely that I will be buried no where near my relatives.
I have often wondered though, if being buried somewhere where my daughters could easily visit would be an unhappy burden on them. My mother and father are buried in the National Cemetery in Santa Fe New Mexico. A place I rarely visit due to the distance.
And I am grateful for this. The last time I was there I sobbed uncontrollably.
Then I thought to myself…why? My mama and daddy are not there. There bones are mostly likely not even there any more. This is just the place where we respectfully buried their remains. My parents were good people. I have no doubts as to God’s mercy, and their residence with Him in heaven. For this reason, if I never am able to travel to Santa Fe again, I will not pine for it. While it’s nice that a sister is able to go there on Memorial Day and place flowers, I don’t for a minute believe that my parents think I’m neglecting them, as I pray for their souls daily.
Having said that, we’re looking into natural burial at a local Monastery. It would be way off in the woods, marked only by a stone, and exceedingly private. I will ask my daughters to remember me on the anniversary of my death to do something I would have enjoyed…go to the symphony, have a picnic, or give a donation to Saint Vincent de Paul.
I’m not downplaying your dilemma, really. I feel for you. Many cultures place a high propriety on grave keeping. My family is a family of weepers. I can’t bear the thought of my daughters standing over my casket and crying bitter tears.
Another problem is cost. We have a “family grave” of my husband’s family in Ireland at an Abbey that is in ruins. But the graveyard is still in use…from hundreds of years ago. Gorgeous and serene place. Who knows if my daughters will have the resources to ship us there for burial?
You’ve brought up a good thread…how are people planning? And how are most of us going to fund these endeavors? I can barely make ends meet as it is.
Thanks for this…I shall pray about it.
Peace
 
St_Francis said:
Where to people get buried with so many adult children being so far from the families? We adult children can’t be buried near our parents (no space), so… ? it just seems very strange to be buried in a place where no one can visit your grave.

Several months ago, my friend and i found an abandoned cemetary. Only one person was buried there after about 1910.

Anyway, what are people thinking about this?

Thanks for any thoughts.
Click to expand...
My personal thoughts are that it doesn’t matter where I will be buried – my soul won’t be there in the cemetery. I’d much rather friends and family pray for my soul than visit my grave.
 
It doesn’t matter where someone is buried. Many people don’t visit their relatives graves anyway.
 
Don’t say it doesn’t matter. It does. How we behave illustrates what we believe. As catholics we do NOT subscribe to the theory that the flesh is meaningless and only the spirit matters. We understand that humans are a union of body and soul so that the remains of the departed are still treated with respect and reverence even though the soul for a time is no longer present there. The church instructs us to inter remains on holy ground set apart for that purpose. Catholics should not be scattering ashes at lakes or ballparks or keeping grandma in an urn on the fireplace mantle or basement closet.

Personally, I think the issue needs a major update and revisit. I don’t like the vast centralized and depersonalized diocesan cemetery model. I tend to think that any parish with a cemetery on the grounds (even if it’s full) should adopt a new model whereby a large waterproof vault is constructed underground with an access shaft such that new cremated remains can be added to the mass grave as needed. A group memorial plaque would be added to with each interment. By this method thousands of burials could be accommodated within a tiny use of ground space while still honoring the dead and physically living out our stated belief in the fundamental unity of body and soul. And we could return to the traditional practice of keeping the dead right there with us near where we worship and actually GO all the time. Who here has been to one of those vast cemeteries recently, except to attend a funeral? Small bonus, it should reduce burial costs by about 90%. No small issue either.
 
GEddie said:
I’ll be too dead to care.

ICXC NIKA
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Should? Don’t know. I’d like to be buried under the sea. Anyone who wants to visit can’t be afraid to scuba dive.
Seriously. There is an underwater cemetery. I think this is cool…😃
 
manualman said:
Don’t say it doesn’t matter. It does. How we behave illustrates what we believe. As catholics we do NOT subscribe to the theory that the flesh is meaningless and only the spirit matters. We understand that humans are a union of body and soul so that the remains of the departed are still treated with respect and reverence even though the soul for a time is no longer present there. The church instructs us to inter remains on holy ground set apart for that purpose. Catholics should not be scattering ashes at lakes or ballparks or keeping grandma in an urn on the fireplace mantle or basement closet.

Personally, I think the issue needs a major update and revisit. I don’t like the vast centralized and depersonalized diocesan cemetery model. I tend to think that any parish with a cemetery on the grounds (even if it’s full) should adopt a new model whereby a large waterproof vault is constructed underground with an access shaft such that new cremated remains can be added to the mass grave as needed. A group memorial plaque would be added to with each interment. By this method thousands of burials could be accommodated within a tiny use of ground space while still honoring the dead and physically living out our stated belief in the fundamental unity of body and soul. And we could return to the traditional practice of keeping the dead right there with us near where we worship and actually GO all the time. Who here has been to one of those vast cemeteries recently, except to attend a funeral? Small bonus, it should reduce burial costs by about 90%. No small issue either.
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My last parish had a cemetery. The plots are pretty reasonable. There was a section for cremains…(my first husband is there) and there’s a section specifically for children near the founding Monsignor’s burial site. That way, people wouldn’t fight over who got to be near him. (Believe it or not, that was an issue :eek:). No one can fuss over the babies and where they are buried without looking a fool. 👍
Many parishioners wander the grounds there all the time. It’s pretty. But I still wouldn’t like my daughters frequenting the spot. But that’s just me. Many people consider that it honors their loved ones. I want folks to just pray for me. That’s something I could really use. 😉
Peace.
 
Well, I guess I am with ManualMan when it comes to how Catholocs are supposed to do things–Thanks, Manual, you kind of put a vague idea in my mind into very clear words 🙂

Now, I can’t say that I visit my relatives’ graves… We actually visit a non-Catholic cemetery the first week in November, but I do not know the people in it.

So visiting relatives’s graves is not really on my radar, since they are biried either far or further away.

I know Catholics sort of traditionaly visit graves, but that’s about all I know. Quite a lot of my family is Episcopalian or lapsed, and about them I have no idea.

It just seems strange to me to have all these relatives sort of so widely scattered.
 
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