Where was God?

[Kendy]

I realize this is not the best place to put this, but I am not sure which place is best, and I kinda like this crowd.

It occured to me last week that God has not been answering some pretty important prayers. And specifically, a prayer I made 11 years ago before I left the church. I remember feeling confused and I spent hours in the chapel asking God what to do, should I leave the catholic church and become a baptist? During that time, I had spent all summer going to a baptist church, but the year was starting and it was time to start teaching catechism (which I didn’t know myself), and so I had to make up my mind. Do I want to go back to teaching catechism or go the a baptist church. I was very confused, and in upset. I prayed, “God what should I do?” But to this day, I can’t remember getting a sign from God.

Finally, I decided that I had too many doubts and I should talk to sister (the DRE) about them and at least challenge the church. She was very upset with me, and said that I could not keep teaching catechism, and I agreed, but she didn’t do anything to help me understand the church. I was in tears because it was a tough decisions, and I wanted her to tell lme why the church wasn’t teaching the bible. But she did nothing to make me undertstand other than to say, “We can’t be fundamentalists.” She didn’t try to make me stay in the church. None of my fellow catechists got in touch with me to see why I had left. Everyone just let me walk away, and I feel, including God.

I was happily active in my baptist church for about a year, and then I met a boy fell into sin and became consumed by guilt. I went to my minister and I told him I felt very disconnected to God and I wanted to hear from Him. He tried to help me but I was a little stubborn; I wanted a sign or something. I prayed that I would feel connected to God again, but nothing, and slowly, I drifted further and further, and I can’t remember God intervening in any way to stop me.

During the years, I was gone, I broke every commandment. I did lots of things to screw up my life, and lately, as I try to put the pieces together, I can’t help but feel like God just allowed me to run away from home. And no one in my parish lifted a finger to stop. My parents were like, you want to be a baptist, go ahead! It about six years years before I had instances where I knew God was calling me back, but by that time, I was so deep into my sinful lifestyle that I really was not interested.

I guess, I am telling you this because I am a little bitter. I realized that I am at fault for all my sins, but I keep thinking how different would my life had been if 11 years ago when I was in the chapel asking God what to do, if he had sent me some help?

Kendy

 

[Mannyfit75]

I realize this is not the best place to put this, but I am not sure which place is best, and I kinda like this crowd.

It occured to me last week that God has not been answering some pretty important prayers. And specifically, a prayer I made 11 years ago before I left the church. I remember feeling confused and I spent hours in the chapel asking God what to do, should I leave the catholic church and become a baptist? During that time, I had spent all summer going to a baptist church, but the year was starting and it was time to start teaching catechism (which I didn’t know myself), and so I had to make up my mind. Do I want to go back to teaching catechism or go the a baptist church. I was very confused, and in upset. I prayed, “God what should I do?” But to this day, I can’t remember getting a sign from God.

Finally, I decided that I had too many doubts and I should talk to sister (the DRE) about them and at least challenge the church. She was very upset with me, and said that I could not keep teaching catechism, and I agreed, but she didn’t do anything to help me understand the church. I was in tears because it was a tough decisions, and I wanted her to tell lme why the church wasn’t teaching the bible. But she did nothing to make me undertstand other than to say, “We can’t be fundamentalists.” She didn’t try to make me stay in the church. None of my fellow catechists got in touch with me to see why I had left. Everyone just let me walk away, and I feel, including God.

I was happily active in my baptist church for about a year, and then I met a boy fell into sin and became consumed by guilt. I went to my minister and I told him I felt very disconnected to God and I wanted to hear from Him. He tried to help me but I was a little stubborn; I wanted a sign or something. I prayed that I would feel connected to God again, but nothing, and slowly, I drifted further and further, and I can’t remember God intervening in any way to stop me.

During the years, I was gone, I broke every commandment. I did lots of things to screw up my life, and lately, as I try to put the pieces together, I can’t help but feel like God just allowed me to run away from home. And no one in my parish lifted a finger to stop. My parents were like, you want to be a baptist, go ahead! It about six years years before I had instances where I knew God was calling me back, but by that time, I was so deep into my sinful lifestyle that I really was not interested.

I guess, I am telling you this because I am a little bitter. I realized that I am at fault for all my sins, but I keep thinking how different would my life had been if 11 years ago when I was in the chapel asking God what to do, if he had sent me some help?

Kendy

We are all sinners. Where you baptized as a Catholic? If you were, you can always come back the Catholic Church and take RCIA again. God is the God of Mercy, ask for it, and he will gladly take you back in. I also ask that you pray more and perhaps spend time in the Catholic Church and pray to the Tabernacle, the dwelling place of Jesus Christ. In the Eucharist, Jesus is truly present there. Mediate and pray to Him.

 

[Kendy]

We are all sinners. Where you baptized as a Catholic? If you were, you can always come back the Catholic Church and take RCIA again. God is the God of Mercy, ask for it, and he will gladly take you back in. I also ask that you pray more and perhaps spend time in the Catholic Church and pray to the Tabernacle, the dwelling place of Jesus Christ. In the Eucharist, Jesus is truly present there. Mediate and pray to Him.

I was baptized catholic and I have been back for over a year. And I am happy to be back. But just because repent doesn’t mean consequences don’t go away. I am just reflecting on that moment because sometimes, I just don’t feel like God checks his e-mail.

 

[Sir_Knight]

It occured to me last week that God has not been answering some pretty important prayers. And specifically, a prayer I made 11 years ago before I left the church. I remember feeling confused and I spent hours in the chapel asking God what to do, should I leave the catholic church and become a baptist? During that time, I had spent all summer going to a baptist church, but the year was starting and it was time to start teaching catechism (which I didn’t know myself), and so I had to make up my mind. Do I want to go back to teaching catechism or go the a baptist church. I was very confused, and in upset. I prayed, “God what should I do?” But to this day, I can’t remember getting a sign from God.

I, too, remember intensely praying for direction in my life looking for a sign from God. Then one day at Mass, during the Gospel reading, I heard the priest repeat the words said by Christ – "* … only an evil generation seeks a sign, therefore, none shall be given … "* – that really hit home for me.

 

[Kendy]

I, too, remember intensely praying for direction in my life looking for a sign from God. Then one day at Mass, during the Gospel reading, I heard the priest repeat the words said by Christ – "* … only an evil generation seeks a sign, therefore, none shall be given* … " – that really hit home for me.

Well, that wasn’t very nice of him. I honestly wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to seek God. How could he not answer a prayer like that?

 

[Sir_Knight]

Well, that wasn’t very nice of him. I honestly wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to seek God. How could he not answer a prayer like that?

I honestly don’t know as I am in the same boat as you (although with a different situation).

Maybe He did answer our prayers. Maybe we just didn’t recognize the answer because we were busy looking for signs.

 

[Kendy]

I honestly don’t know as I am in the same boat as you (although with a different situation).

Maybe He did answer our prayers. Maybe we just didn’t recognize the answer because we were busy looking for signs.

 

[slowbutfaithful]

Sometimes the answers to prayers, or ‘signs’ that He’s listening are right in front of our face, but we don’t see them because they’re not the signs we expected, or wanted to see. This old tale always comes to mind when this topic comes up:

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.

Jim replied “No, that O.K., God will take care of me.” So the man in the boat drove off.

The water rose higher, Jim climbed onto his roof, another boat came along and that person told Jim to get in. Jim replied “No, that’s O.K., God will take care of me.” So that person drove off.

The water rose even higher and Jim climbed onto the chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up
the ladder. Jim said “No, that’s O.K”. The woman said “Are your sure”? Jim replied “Yes, I’m sure, God will take care of me.”

Finally the water rose too high and Jim drowned. JIm got to heaven and was face to face with God.

Jim said to God, “You told me you would take care of me! What happened?”

God replied, “Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?”

 

[water]

but I keep thinking how different would my life had been if 11 years ago when I was in the chapel asking God what to do, if he had sent me some help?

I would put the question like this “Would I be a better person had I seen a sign from God back then?” -

and “Where was I when God was right besides me” instead of “Where was God?”

God works in each soul differently, and we hardly know why. However, for however He works, you’ve come back to the Church and it is all matter. Be focusing what you do now to keep from going astray again.

God bless you!

 

[Kendy]

Sometimes the answers to prayers, or ‘signs’ that He’s listening are right in front of our face, but we don’t see them because they’re not the signs we expected, or wanted to see. This old tale always comes to mind when this topic comes up:

You may be right, but I don’t think so. I wasn’t looking for a burning bush just some direction.

 

[Kendy]

I would put the question like this “Would I be a better person had I seen a sign from God back then?” -

Well, perhaps, if I had not left the church, I would have not BROKEN EVERY COMMANDMENT during the time I was gone. And you know what happens when you break every commandment, YOU PAY THE CONSEQUENCES for breaking every commandment.

and “Where was I when God was right besides me” instead of “Where was God?”

God works in each soul differently, and we hardly know why. However, for however He works, you’ve come back to the Church and it is all matter. Be focusing what you do now to keep from going astray again.

God bless you!

Well, I guess, I am focusing on it because I kinda feel like God is not answering some pretty important prayers, and it reminds of the last time, he didn’t answer my very important prayer.

I feel guilty writing this.

 

[Sandtigress]

In a way, I think I might know where you’re coming from. I’ve found that this year has been a difficult one for me - I broke off a three-year relationship, had two close friends completely break off those friendships, and went through a period of almost complete spiritual collapse and dryness. I did a lot of praying - asking God what He wanted me to do about the relationship which had been struggling for some time, what He wanted me to do about those friendships, etc. and oftentimes I felt like I got no answer.

Its occuring to me now, after much reflection, that the paths that I have gone down are indeed shaping who I am - and that though I can’t even begin to imagine how these things will work towards a greater good in my life or to the world in general, God can see that. And that sometimes, we don’t hear God’s messages to us simply because we don’t want to hear it, whether we even know that or not.

I think during the time I was seeking guidance about my relationship, two things were probably going on. One, it wasn’t the right time for God to give me an answer - He needed me to hang on and wait a little longer until the time was right for Him to show me the way. But also, I’m not sure that I was willing to listen - my heart was torn in both directions - I wanted to work things out but I also wanted to just run away from it all. Though I thought I was, I wasn’t really surrendering myself to God’s will - I either wanted Him to just tell me what to do so I wouldn’t have to decide, or I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to hear what He willed for me. Either way, I’m sure that He was speaking to me at the time, just not what I wanted to hear. It was probably a gentle “Hang on, wait for me” instead of “Do this thing and you’ll be happy.”

Your story reminds me of the tale of the Prodigal Son. The father most certainly could have forbid his son to take his inheritance and go, since he probably knew without a doubt that his son would fall into a terrible life. But in love, knowing that his son was not going to learn without learning the hard way, allowed his son to go out into the world, to fall into hardship, and to eventually hit rock bottom. The father knew that if his son was ever ready to come back, it would be full in the knowledge that his father knew best, and that he would be a better person for the experience.

Perhaps God just had to allow you to go your own way, so that when you did come back to Him, you would be better able to serve Him than when you left. We all need some time in the wilderness in which to grow - the wilderness and the time of the journey is different for everyone.

Would your life have been different if He had just sent someone 11 years ago? Definatey - but would you be who you are today if they had, and would your lack of whatever experience you have gained in that time somehow affect your ability to do whatever God has in store for you? Maybe someday, you’ll be the person who will stop someone from leaving the Church because of your own story. Maybe you already have. It could be that your experiences have allowed you a vantage into the lives of others, some way to emphathize with them that you could not have had in any other way. And hopefully, when you stand before God, He’ll say to you “My child, I love you, and I’m sorry you had to go through all of those years thinking you were all alone, but I had to allow you to go your own way, or else you would never had been in a position to do all these things for my kingdom.”

Much love, and God bless.

 

[water]

No, don’t feel guilty about writing it. We all search for some truth and answers; asking is perfectly fine.

I understand that we have very important questions to ask God, but to have answers from God, we must leave it to His Will and be patient. God does His works according to His time not ours.

Sometimes, we believe that what we ask of God is very pleasing to Him and that He has no choice but to grant us the answer right away. If our questions do not get answered, we should be patient and not get disappointed and not go on do it our own way.

 

[myfavoritmartin]

I realize this is not the best place to put this, but I am not sure which place is best, and I kinda like this crowd.

It occured to me last week that God has not been answering some pretty important prayers. And specifically, a prayer I made 11 years ago before I left the church. I remember feeling confused and I spent hours in the chapel asking God what to do, should I leave the catholic church and become a baptist? During that time, I had spent all summer going to a baptist church, but the year was starting and it was time to start teaching catechism (which I didn’t know myself), and so I had to make up my mind. Do I want to go back to teaching catechism or go the a baptist church. I was very confused, and in upset. I prayed, “God what should I do?” But to this day, I can’t remember getting a sign from God.

Finally, I decided that I had too many doubts and I should talk to sister (the DRE) about them and at least challenge the church. She was very upset with me, and said that I could not keep teaching catechism, and I agreed, but she didn’t do anything to help me understand the church. I was in tears because it was a tough decisions, and I wanted her to tell lme why the church wasn’t teaching the bible. But she did nothing to make me undertstand other than to say, “We can’t be fundamentalists.” She didn’t try to make me stay in the church. None of my fellow catechists got in touch with me to see why I had left. Everyone just let me walk away, and I feel, including God.

I was happily active in my baptist church for about a year, and then I met a boy fell into sin and became consumed by guilt. I went to my minister and I told him I felt very disconnected to God and I wanted to hear from Him. He tried to help me but I was a little stubborn; I wanted a sign or something. I prayed that I would feel connected to God again, but nothing, and slowly, I drifted further and further, and I can’t remember God intervening in any way to stop me.

During the years, I was gone, I broke every commandment. I did lots of things to screw up my life, and lately, as I try to put the pieces together, I can’t help but feel like God just allowed me to run away from home. And no one in my parish lifted a finger to stop. My parents were like, you want to be a baptist, go ahead! It about six years years before I had instances where I knew God was calling me back, but by that time, I was so deep into my sinful lifestyle that I really was not interested.

I guess, I am telling you this because I am a little bitter. I realized that I am at fault for all my sins, but I keep thinking how different would my life had been if 11 years ago when I was in the chapel asking God what to do, if he had sent me some help?

Kendy

Give it to the Lord my friend, he answers all prayers. The emptiness your feeling is yourself looking into your heart, your feeling that Christ shape hole in your heart… Might I suggest that you simply talk to God and say to him my heart is your desire Lord! send me where you will!

Romans 14:17 teaches us the Kingdom of God is about rightuosness peace and joy.
Rightousness in Gods compassion, Peace in God’s will, and Joy in His presence.
When you are ready to turn it over to him it will be there for you… Its His promise!

 

[Kendy]

Your story reminds me of the tale of the Prodigal Son. The father most certainly could have forbid his son to take his inheritance and go, since he probably knew without a doubt that his son would fall into a terrible life. But in love, knowing that his son was not going to learn without learning the hard way, allowed his son to go out into the world, to fall into hardship, and to eventually hit rock bottom. The father knew that if his son was ever ready to come back, it would be full in the knowledge that his father knew best, and that he would be a better person for the experience.

I was thinking the same thing, but perhaps, the father could have gently said, “Maybe, taking your inheritance is not such a good idea son. I am not sure you are ready.” Of course, the son could have said, I don’t care what you think, but what disturbs about the prodigal son’s story (about my own story) is that not a single word was said to hint that this might be a bad idea.

And hopefully, when you stand before God, He’ll say to you “My child, I love you, and I’m sorry you had to go through all of those years thinking you were all alone, but I had to allow you to go your own way, or else you would never had been in a position to do all these things for my kingdom.”

Much love, and God bless.

That was very sweet. I am literally in tears.

 

[Santos]

Well, that wasn’t very nice of him. I honestly wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to seek God. How could he not answer a prayer like that?

You were Catholic, left to become Baptist, fell into the darkness of sin, you now live with the consequences of your actions, but now your back in the Catholic Church.

Where was God? It seems to me that he was with you, through it all. Your alive, well, and happy to be back in the Church. With all the paths that sin can take us, from seperation of God to death, God has saved you from greater works of the devil, that you may have encountered had you stayed your course in sin. Satan’s greatest work is to keep you from the Grace of God.

I’ve wondered where God was in my life… I left the Catholic Church to a Protestant Church, I came back to the Catholic Church, became a Eucharistic Minister, assisted in Teaching Confirmation, I wanted to pursue theological studies towards becoming a Deacon in the Church… Then my daughter got brain cancer. I put my trust in God (tightened my belt) took courage… and began to pray and fast, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years constantly asking for my daughter’s healing. And then she died.

… … … Put your faith in God, and do not allow those consequences of your actions to over shadow the true beauty of life that He has given you. Sorrow, depression, anger, corrupt living… a notion that God has abandoned you, are all works of the devil. We will not understand all the things that happen in our lives, and if we try to figure it all out… we will find ourselves with wondering minds, and possibly questioning our faith. And if the devil can put his hand on that, then he would make you believe that there was no God at all.

God was with you as He is now. I’m sure of it.

 

[Church_Militant]

Hi Kendy,

Been there and done that. (LINK)

Here’s how it works IMHO.

11: And he said, "There was a man who had two sons;
12: and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the share of property that falls to me.' And he divided his living between them. 13: Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took his journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in loose living. 14: And when he had spent everything, a great famine arose in that country, and he began to be in want. 15: So he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16: And he would gladly have fed on the pods that the swine ate; and no one gave him anything. 17: But when he came to himself he said, How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, but I perish here with hunger!
18: I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you;
19: I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired servants.”’
20: And he arose and came to his father. But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
21: And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' 22: But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet;
23: and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry;
24: for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to make merry.
25: “Now his elder son was in the field; and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.
26: And he called one of the servants and asked what this meant.
27: And he said to him, Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has received him safe and sound.' 28: But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29: but he answered his father, Lo, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command; yet you never gave me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends.
30: But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your living with harlots, you killed for him the fatted calf!’
31: And he said to him, `Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.
32: It was fitting to make merry and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’” (Luke 15: The whole chapter is relevent. )

Glad you’re home. Hang in there and Pm me if you need anything.
Pax tecum,

 

[marci]

Kendy,

I am not proud of the way I spent my teenage and young adult life. Breaking commandments was not something I cared about at the time, eventhough I was raised by devout parents. I suffered through ALOT of guilt when I finally made my way back to the church. It was only when I started reading about the sacrament of confession and what it really means that I was overcome with hope and joy when I learned to trust in the Mercy of Christ.

Now, when I think back on those times in my life, I no longer have any guilt or regret. I know that all of the things that I went through then have helped to make me the person I am now, and I like who I am.

I think that part of the healing processes can be to reach out to those who are suffering and perhaps going through what you have come through. There’s nothing like advice and perspective from someone who’s been there.

As far as a sign from God goes, I think God speaks to us all of the time, maybe you just haven’t recognized it yet. Sometimes God can hit us over the head, or whisper so softly we can’t quit make it out.

Story: I went to confession tonight and after recieving absolution Father gave me my penance. He told me to recite certain prayers and then to do some act of charitable giving. Well, being that it is Christmas I have been doing quite alot of charity for different causes, but I felt like this was something I needed to think carefully about, before I just stuck extra money in the collection basket. When I was leaving Mass, I picked up a copy of a local diocese newsletter and as I was reading it at home it hit me, there was an add with a pledge card to send in for a local homeless shelter. I know it wasn’t the parting of the Red Sea, but I got the message.

If teaching RCIA is not something you can do right now, maybe you could look into doing prison ministry, or bereivment counseling, or pro-life work.

Whenever we feel down about things and feel like God doesn’t hear us or isn’t listening, the best thing to do is focus our attention on others who are suffering. I believe it was Mother Theresa who said she saw the face of Jesus in the suffering around her.

I pray you find peace during this difficult time.

 

[blessedtoo]

Finally, I decided that I had too many doubts and I should talk to sister (the DRE) about them and at least challenge the church. She was very upset with me, and said that I could not keep teaching catechism, and I agreed, but she didn’t do anything to help me understand the church. I was in tears because it was a tough decisions, and I wanted her to tell lme why the church wasn’t teaching the bible. But she did nothing to make me undertstand other than to say, “We can’t be fundamentalists.” She didn’t try to make me stay in the church. None of my fellow catechists got in touch with me to see why I had left. Everyone just let me walk away, and I feel, including God.

Dearheart,
When I started making my way back into the Church 4 years ago, I met with the Pastor of a local Parish here. I spent 45 minutes griping to him about my horrific childhood experiences with the sisters in grade and high school and asking him to give me one reason why I should return to the Church. HE TOLD ME NOT TO. He said I was an adult and could find my own way to God, be it another church or no church at all. At the time, I was shocked that a priest would actually discourage me from returning. But I did not allow his words to halt my search for the truth. I went on a retreat and talked to another priest. I joined a parish and talked to that priest. I read books and listened to Catholic radio. I made sure that if it was really truth I was seeking, that no fallible human would stand in my way.

During the years, I was gone, I broke every commandment. I did lots of things to screw up my life, and lately, as I try to put the pieces together, I can’t help but feel like God just allowed me to run away from home.

As I am sure you have seen on this forum, most of us have this same story to tell. When I look back now, I understand better that I ran from Him, not the other way around. Free will in action. If I am honest, I must admit it was easier and, for a time, more thrilling to indulge in commandment-breaking. The only time I called out to God was when I was on my knees from living a life completely devoid of sanctity. And I believe He heard me. And answered me, but not in a earthquake or a big wind. I believe he answered me in small ways, ways that I could handle. If He had given me the whole story, the whole big picture that He is, I would never have been able to accept it.

And no one in my parish lifted a finger to stop. My parents were like, you want to be a baptist, go ahead! It about six years years before I had instances where I knew God was calling me back, but by that time, I was so deep into my sinful lifestyle that I really was not interested.

People will disappoint you. I wonder if your question about God’s responses is really more about your disillusionment with how people let you go. You say above that when God did call you back, you were not interested. I understand that. We all do. But doesn’t this seem to illustrate that He was with you all along? I know that in my former life, I did very sinful things. I also know that I could have sunk even lower, done things even more horrific than I did. When I reflect back on how close I did come to doing things that would have not only changed my life perhaps irreparably, but other lives as well, I know that it was God who was working behind the scenes.

Keep seeking. You are on the right path. Remember that when we seek His will first and His guidance above all else, whether we hear His voice in reponse, He hears us and is no doubt pleased that our hearts are in the right place. Know that God will give you exactly what you need at the time you need it.

 

[myfavoritmartin]

As I mentioned earlier the Kingdom of God is about rightousness peace and joy. Rightousness in the nature of God’s compassion, peace in God’s will and Joy in his presence.

Romans 14:17

1 sam 8:7

(Edited)