which is worse?

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PJH_74 said:
…there are churches out there that fully support gay people as whole humans created in God’s image. I’d hate to see you lose your faith in God over what possibly is the way you were made, however inconvenient.
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I take issue with your implicit assertion that the Catholic church somehow does not support gay people as whole humans created in God’s image. Nothing could be further from the truth. I sugget actually reading what the Church teaches. Calling someone to live a chaste life–is not treating them as less than a whole human. It’s actually treating them as a human with the faculty of self-control and not as an animal subject only to instincts and impulses.

Aren’t we suppose to try to find the truth and to live in accordance with that? Not find out how we want to live and call that the truth. Now we can disagree over what is the truth and we can discuss that but to assert that if we do not fully affirm and approve of every lifestyle under the sun – that we are somehow treating those people as less than full humans is absurd. We call all humans to live in accordance with God’s will and to seek repentance when they fall short. That’s why we have confession–because we all stumble–that’s part of our fallen nature. You are free to assert that the Churches teachings are wrong, but I would ask that you refrain from implying that by asking Catholics to live by those teachings we are somehow treating them as less than a whole human being. Thank you.

OP you indeed has a heavy cross to bare–and I wish I had some magic bullet or brilliant words of wisdom for you but I don’t. I simply offer you my prayers and I hope that by reaching out you are able to find the help, comfort and the guidance you need.

Peace,
Mark
 
MarkInOregon said:
I take issue with your implicit assertion that the Catholic church somehow does not support gay people as whole humans created in God’s image. Nothing could be further from the truth. I sugget actually reading what the Church teaches. Calling someone to live a chaste life–is not treating them as less than a whole human. It’s actually treating them as a human with the faculty of self-control and not as an animal subject only to instincts and impulses.

Aren’t we suppose to try to find the truth and to live in accordance with that? Not find out how we want to live and call that the truth. Now we can disagree over what is the truth and we can discuss that but to assert that if we do not fully affirm and approve of every lifestyle under the sun – that we are somehow treating those people as less than full humans is absurd. We call all humans to live in accordance with God’s will and to seek repentance when they fall short. That’s why we have confession–because we all stumble–that’s part of our fallen nature. You are free to assert that the Churches teachings are wrong, but I would ask that you refrain from implying that by asking Catholics to live by those teachings we are somehow treating them as less than a whole human being. Thank you.

OP you indeed has a heavy cross to bare–and I wish I had some magic bullet or brilliant words of wisdom for you but I don’t. I simply offer you my prayers and I hope that by reaching out you are able to find the help, comfort and the guidance you need.

Peace,
Mark
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Great post!
 
MarkInOregon said:
I take issue with your implicit assertion that the Catholic church somehow…
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My words over stepped my opinion of the Catholic Church’s position, I’m sorry if I offended you. I do respect that the church does not reject the personhood of a Gay or Lesbian person. Indeed it sees no salvation issue in a celibate Gay or Lesbian person. But to ask a person to be celibate is asking them to give up the love of a partner, a family life, and raising children in their own family. I was speaking to a church that embraces that part of her life also.

I’ve seen way too many LBGTQ people fall off from any relationship with God. I’d rather see someone living in some sin (assuming it is so) in a Church that can accept the full expression LBGTQ person than to see someone have NO relationship to God. That was the point I was trying to make.
 
First, do not imagine for a moment that other people who seem to be more balanced, heterosexual and apparently happy are closer to God than you. The great St. Paul had his troubles. When he asked God to take it away God told him no. ‘My grace works better in weakness.’ From my personal experiences I can tell you that I fully relate to St. Paul, as many others can. I consider my weaknesses a precious gift.

Some years ago I started saying this short prayer whenever I was tempted; ‘In the name of Jesus, son of the living God I reject that thought.’ At first I found my self saying this over a thousand times a day, now it is down to about twenty. The thing is that it caused me to pray constantly. I also fast regularly. At first I used to fast as a means of training, now it is just an offering of love and thankfulness.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that weakness, like every thing we experience in life could be a blessing or curse. It is up to you. Do not fall for satan’s deal of choosing one sin over another. That is never God’s way. Use the Holy Name. Oh, if only more Christians knew the power we have through it.
 
wayward said:
I asked this in the ask and apologist section also, because I really think I need a priest’s guidance with these issues, but just in case I don’t get an answer there I thought I might ask here as well, for advice if you have any and for prayers too… I don’t know if I would be brave and humble enough to ask someone IRL so this is kind of a last resort, my next option is to just switch churches.

I struggle with a lot of grave-matter sins. I have same-sex attraction (I used to be a part of Courage) and I struggle with depression and mental health, and I am a recovering cutter.

This is making a REALLY long story of struggle a lot shorter, but after falling away from the Church almost completely, and committing a long list of mortal sins, two days ago I went to Confession for the first time almost 6 months and I’m wanting to make an effort in my faith again.

But I discovered in the past several months, through counseling, that if I stop repressing my desires and act out sexually that my urge to cut myself is reduced drastically. And right now, with all the stress and fear of lost friendships and so much confusion around my faith and my identity, I need to do SOMETHING to reduce the tension and heartache.

So I was wondering, what’s worse? If I cut or if I act out sexually? How do other people deal with sublimating or redirecting sexual energy, because when I try I always seem to end up hurting myself instead and I honestly feel like I am standing on the a very thin balance beam when it comes to my mental health and my faith, and I feel like I am being required to choose between the two.
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Wayward,

You need help. You need to be able to speak to someone and share these issues. The issue of which is worse has little relevance to what it is you are experiencing.

Cutting is a problem with self esteem and self worth and other issues. Only you know the reasons for the cutting. It is a symptom of a problem that only you can aid in the identification of.

You are confused
You have identity issues.
You have faith
You have SSA

These issues are all bundled up and sometimes it is not the repression of the thoughts but the acting of the thoughts that complicates the matter. Allowing thoughts to come, observing them, understanding them and then not acting on them may aid your cause.

You may need to speak to several different people, a priest, a good therapist, a friend, a parent, and of course look for support outside of a SSA group…keep looking. If you are interested I can provide you a phone line that is free, with professional counselors that will listen to you and provide you some opportunity to talk…sometimes that is all that is needed…

let me know…🙂
 
With God all things are possible. A counselor that is strong in matters of body, mind, and SPIRIT would be of more help. (a good Catholic one.)

Find a Courage chapter near you, and if there isn’t they can help with telephone counseling. Also a holy priest can help.

May the Lord bless you and be your healing and comfort.
 
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