Which parent was right?

[yellowbicycle]

Here’s what happened today while I was at the park.
A man arrived with is wife and two small children, both under the age of 3. He was pushing one of the swing while his wife was playing with one on the play structure.
Two women arrived with four boys, ranging in age from about ten to twelve. I presume that the women were the mothers of the boys.
As the mothers set up for their picnic, the boys hopped on the swings, and one of the boys, I would say he was about ten, said ‘Holy (rhymes with bit)!’ loud enough that I could hear him quite a few yards away.
The man was standing next to the boy and said ‘Hey, don’t use that language. There are women and children around. That’s not how you talk around women and children.’ The boy said ‘What? I didn’t say anything.’ and the man said ‘Yes, you did. I heard you. You’re a gentleman, act like one. There’s a park ranger near here and I would hate to have to call him over.’
He spoke firmly, and forcefully but was not yelling.
The mother heard the man, I’m not sure if she had heard what her son had said, but she came over, said nothing to her son, but instead said to the man ‘What gives you the right to parent my child? You have NO RIGHT! You should have come and gotten me instead of reprimanding a child who was not yours.’
And the man said ‘I didn’t think the boy should use that language in front of other children. I simply told him so.’

Okay, what do you think? Was the man right? The woman? The foul-mouthed boy? Everybody? Nobody?

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

The Dad.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Agreed.

 

[Shin]

The Dad, totally right.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…And the man said ‘I didn’t think the boy should use that language in front of other children. I simply told him so.’

Okay, what do you think? Was the man right? The woman? The foul-mouthed boy? Everybody? Nobody?

The man.

He wasn’t “parenting” the boy–he was trying to protect his own children from having to listen to someone using bad language at a playground.

 

[PaulinVA]

“You’re absolutely right ma’m. I shouldn’t have to parent your son. Why don’t you teach him that cursing in public is wrong?”

 

[Rascalking]

The man, by far.

What happend to being a gentlemen?

What a jerk that woman was.

PaulinVA was 100% accurate. I hope I have the wit to say something like that if the circumstance ever arrives!

 

[elts1956]

Here’s what happened today while I was at the park.
A man arrived with is wife and two small children, both under the age of 3. He was pushing one of the swing while his wife was playing with one on the play structure.
Two women arrived with four boys, ranging in age from about ten to twelve. I presume that the women were the mothers of the boys.
As the mothers set up for their picnic, the boys hopped on the swings, and one of the boys, I would say he was about ten, said ‘Holy (rhymes with bit)!’ loud enough that I could hear him quite a few yards away.
The man was standing next to the boy and said ‘Hey, don’t use that language. There are women and children around. That’s not how you talk around women and children.’ The boy said ‘What? I didn’t say anything.’ and the man said ‘Yes, you did. I heard you. You’re a gentleman, act like one. There’s a park ranger near here and I would hate to have to call him over.’
He spoke firmly, and forcefully but was not yelling.
The mother heard the man, I’m not sure if she had heard what her son had said, but she came over, said nothing to her son, but instead said to the man ‘What gives you the right to parent my child? You have NO RIGHT! You should have come and gotten me instead of reprimanding a child who was not yours.’
And the man said ‘I didn’t think the boy should use that language in front of other children. I simply told him so.’

Okay, what do you think? Was the man right? The woman? The foul-mouthed boy? Everybody? Nobody?

When I was a kid “everybody” in the neighborhood bossed everyone’s elses child/children. If we didn’t toe the mark, then the parents heard about it.

 

[Wolves]

As an old African proverb goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

 

[rpp]

The father was right, he was protecting his child.

The woman is the mother of a future felon.

 

[ChristinaM]

The dad.

If my mother had ever heard a stranger reprimand me for something like that, she would have apologized profusely for my bad behavior and then she would have punished me herself. What on earth is wrong with parents these days?

 

[Jennifer_J]

The Dad, definately. If the boy had hit, spit at, threatened, tripped, etc his child, he has every right to protect his child from hostility–including verbal garbage. I would have done exactly the same thing.

 

[Peggy_in_Burien]

The man was definately within his rights to offer correction and advice to the boy on his behaviour. For all we know, this child doesn’t even have a father in his life.

Now, that said, I will defend the mother of the boy only in this respect: of course, she is going to go into alert mode when a stranger is speaking to her son at the park. However, if it had been my child, after I heard the man’s side, I would have taken my son home and not had the picnic with him. Given what the man had reported about the foul language, I would have applied Palmolive liberally to my son’s mouth!

Hopefully, this incident will stick with the boy. Maybe the next time he repeats what he has heard in his home (most likely), he will remember that he should be acting like a gentlman.

 

[fermat]

The dad. No doubt.

 

[melensdad]

The father was right, he was protecting his child.

The woman is the mother of a future felon.

The dad was clearly correct.

The woman acted very typically from my observations of mothers. All too often I see them jump into action and act in a wrong headed manner in situations like this. I think it is the motherly instinct to protect their own?

 

[cheeto1]

The Dad, obviously.
But judging by the response of the mom, there is a good chance that maybe
the boy actually doesn’t think he said anything, and he could very well have been
baffled and confused as to what he did wrong. There really are homes like that.
You think the boy is old enough to know better, but if no one teaches him, and he
is taught the opposite?
The dad is my hero!!

 

[apromisemade]

The dad. I feel it is essentially the same as, say, having lunch with a peer and they start swearing excessively and simply telling asking them not to use that language because it bothers you.

He didn’t say it like that, obviously because he was talking to a child, but its the same idea.

In essence, if it would’ve been acceptable for him to say that to another adult, it would be acceptable for him to say it to a child he doesn’t necessarily know.

 

[purplesunshine]

It could be the mom wasn’t even taught right I grew up saying *hit all the time. My parents, friends, elders, townspeople all said *hit and no one considered it a swear word. Infact, it was preferred to other words that WERE swears. Maybe it was because I was around an army base…I have no idea.

I moved not too far away and to my chigrin discovered it was a swear. I moved even farther away and it seems to be an even worse swear. Eight years later, its still something that slips out ALL THE TIME. I’m working on it, but its hard to break a habit enforced from youth.

If it was like that in my town, I’m sure it was like that in other places. While everyone should look out for other children’s behavior, there’s also a big “stranger danger” factor and strange ways creeps attract children. Appealing to young boy’s desires to be men is one of them. The dad had all the best intentions, but I wouldn’t say he was right. The mom wanted to defend her child, and it sounded like she would of if given the chance. Some strange guy she doesn’t know is giving her son a lecture about being a man? I’d of been upset, too.

 

[pmoo]

Here’s what happened today while I was at the park.
A man arrived with is wife and two small children, both under the age of 3. He was pushing one of the swing while his wife was playing with one on the play structure.
Two women arrived with four boys, ranging in age from about ten to twelve. I presume that the women were the mothers of the boys.
As the mothers set up for their picnic, the boys hopped on the swings, and one of the boys, I would say he was about ten, said ‘Holy (rhymes with bit)!’ loud enough that I could hear him quite a few yards away.
The man was standing next to the boy and said ‘Hey, don’t use that language. There are women and children around. That’s not how you talk around women and children.’ The boy said ‘What? I didn’t say anything.’ and the man said ‘Yes, you did. I heard you. You’re a gentleman, act like one. There’s a park ranger near here and I would hate to have to call him over.’
He spoke firmly, and forcefully but was not yelling.
The mother heard the man, I’m not sure if she had heard what her son had said, but she came over, said nothing to her son, but instead said to the man ‘What gives you the right to parent my child? You have NO RIGHT! You should have come and gotten me instead of reprimanding a child who was not yours.’
And the man said ‘I didn’t think the boy should use that language in front of other children. I simply told him so.’

Okay, what do you think? Was the man right? The woman? The foul-mouthed boy? Everybody? Nobody?

I believe the man was right. Cursing is like smoking. If the boy had been blowing smoke into his face or his child’s face, the father would certainly have a right to ask him to stop. He doesn’t want his young child exposed to foul language and I don’t blame him.

Sadly, many parents today have that same attitude as the mother. Once, I was looking at earrings on a carousel and a small toddler kept trying to spin it while I was still looking. I said, “Excuse me but I’m looking at these.” The mom went ballistic and started cursing and screaming and calling me a b%$#h! Her friend was trying to calm her down and even said that she shouldn’t be speaking to me like that, but she said no one was going to speak to her daughter like that!!!???

It was incredible that such an innocuous comment would draw such ire. It really wasn’t about the earrings and for that mom in the park, it wasn’t about the cursing. Instead, she probably was defensive because it’s her kid and she isn’t disciplining him. Let’s face it. He didn’t see anything wrong with it and she obviously didn’t either.

In a public place, we should have the right not to hear such language. Once, in the Apple store, I heard a teen say, Je–s f—ing Chr–t (sorry I don’t even want to type it). She practically screamed it with pride and it made me sick. It’s been a couple of years and I can still see her and hear her. Sadly, you can hear it in movies, on TV and even in the schools, but I commend that father for caring enough about his children to protect them and raise them correctly.

 

[pmoo]

When I was a kid “everybody” in the neighborhood bossed everyone’s elses child/children. If we didn’t toe the mark, then the parents heard about it.

Same here. I did the same when my son was small. It takes a village to raise a child.