Which third order to join?

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Hello, I’m 20 years old, and I am thinking about joining a third/lay order.

I am thinking about the “Lay carmelites- OCDS”, the “Faustinium” and “Cor et Lumen Christi”.

First of all would the “Mass league in honour of Our Lady” - count as a third order? I belong to this.

Would would you advise to talk to about all this?
Is it better to join a third order, that a Saint founded?

Any responses please.

From Vanessa
 
The Mass League doesn’t sound like a third order–probably if it were you would know; more likely it’s a confraternity, and I don’t think those have the same status.

I don’t know you, nor do I know anything about the second or third groups you mentioned, so can’t help there. Good luck though!

OK, well since I do know a little about third order Carmelites… definitely, Our Lady promised many, many graces to all Carmelites, so that’s a plus on that side.
 
Trust_in_Him said:
Hello, I’m 20 years old, and I am thinking about joining a third/lay order.
From Vanessa
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I have a few tips for you on how to select a Third Order. I went through this same process and decided on the Secular Franciscans. When considering a Third Order, two (2) documents to get a hold of are their constitution and their Rules of Order. Often times they will be available on the respective order’s website (if they have one).
Should you get this, look at what charisms are connected with the Order. Also, try as much as possible to get a feel for their spirituality. What are their values and how do they match up with yours?
Do they have local meetings in your area? Find out where and when. Do what you can to attend one of their general meetings. How warm and welcoming are they to you? Their should be someone who holds the position of “Formation Commission leader (or something similar).” It’s this person’s job to make sure that new members are taught properly what the Order does and stands for. Ask for a description of their formation process for new people entering. Are you able and willing to meet those requirements?
If you have specific desires on your spirituality, ask them about it. The more important TLM is important to you (for example), the more important it should be to the group.
There should not be very much compromising on your spirituality. It should be they naturally believe what you believe and hold important what is important to you.
The last on the list (and definitely not the least) pray pray pray.
I hope this helps
 
Thanks for the information. In a way, I think that I want to become a lay carmelite (OCDS), as this appears to have a very structed rule of life.

I will have to check them out, after I come back from Lourdes.🙂

I have read on their website, that in this particular group - there is a separate group for women and a separate group for men.

Is this normal?

From Vanessa
 
The Confraternity of Penitents is not a Third Order, but we live the original 1221 Rule of the Franciscan Lay Order under the vigilance of the Bishop of Providence. Our rule retains much of what the SFO has dropped over the centuries.

I have heard good things about the OCDS, and I have friends, who are very pleased with their affiliation with the T.O.Carm.

As another poster has advised, “face time” is a really good thing. In the CFP, we have isolated members who connect via a monthly on line chat and via e-mail. We have an annual conference/retreat. But I find that those who persevere tend to be in “live” chapters, where the monthly contact and formation with others living our “alternate lifestyle” supports and affirms our vocation.

I am a vowed member of the Confraternity, and if you want to PM me, I will be glad to answer any questions you may have.

Godspeed to you.
 
Trust_in_Him said:
Thanks for the information. In a way, I think that I want to become a lay carmelite (OCDS), as this appears to have a very structed rule of life.

I will have to check them out, after I come back from Lourdes.🙂

I have read on their website, that in this particular group - there is a separate group for women and a separate group for men.

Is this normal?

From Vanessa
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I don’t know about other Orders. The two (2) which I can speak for (as a result of my research) are the Franciscans and the Benedictines. In both Orders, their Third Orders are both Co-Ed. This is considered acceptable because these Third Orders do not supply housing.
 
I second mercygate’s reply #5, and would like to add that when I was in the discernment process, I really liked the Carmelite spirituality and felt a real connection to many Carmelite saints. But after a time it became clear to me that God wanted me in the Confraternity of Penitents.
I’m also a vowed member (and one of those who does not have a “live” chapter to attend) and am available via PM if have any questions about living a Rule of Life in isolation from others who live the same Rule.
And, I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
Thanks for the reply and for the prayers.🙂

I think that I must start discerning with a regular confessor/ or spiritual director what to do…

I will be absent from these forums from Wednesday to Monday, as I will be in Lourdes.👍

From Vanessa
 
I just received a phone call from the National President of the Secular order of Carmelites!🙂

They told me about the monthly meetings, that are happening near me.

I will go to the meeting and see what is it like.

I am so excited.🙂

From Vanessa
 
I’m looking into the Lay order of Dominicans…They don’t have a location near me so I’m waiting for them to contact me with more information…
 
**Hello all. I would be happy to answer some questions regarding the Dominicans as I belong to them. The names all mean the same thing and switch around but are interchangeable…Third Order Dominicans, Lay Dominican, tertiary, member of the Lay Fraternities of St Dominic.

The country is broken into regions ( but the order is worldwide), and then the regions into chapters. Your state determines your region. Then the chapter would be the location closest to your home. Some people are lucky enough to be a few minutes away from their meeting location but some can be an hour or more. This is any third order. Anyhow, Dominicans have meetings only once a month which is good because the time commitment isn’t to taxing. Go to www.3op.org and you should find a location near to you there.

Most importantly, figuring what’s best for you. There are many orders, all wonderful, not one better then the other.People choose an order not based on a favorite saint, or what you believe is the “superior” order, but what the point of the order is. It is not a club or a group but a vocation…a job, a vow.Dominicans were started from St Dominic 800 years ago because he felt the world needed preaching and teaching of our faith outside the church. Just learning in the church wasn’t enough, the priest didnt have enough time. It is people who live a secular life… married, fathers, mothers, working who live on the outside and can evangelize to other people. If you love learning about church history, the laws, all about Christ, the catechism, converting people, convincing people to come back to the Catholic faith who left and defending it, being informed in a way that if people attack the church or Christ you will have the knowledge to set them straight immediately. If this sounds like you, this is your place. Our motto is latin , it is VERITAS. That means truth. Plain and simple, you represent truth, knowledge, light, the correct path to Christ and His church.

3 -6 months of going to meetings and inquiring
6 months of postulancy
At that 1 year mark received into the order as a novice, official member
In another year make a promise to live the Rule and continue education, lasts 3 years
After 3 years, you should be at the 5 year mark, you make your final profession or final vows, lifelong, cant get out of the order unless emergency or something.Like I said, not a club or group, a vow and promise to God, Jesus, St Dominic our founding father and St Catherine of Siena our patroness

When recieved as a novice you take a religious name such as Sister…
or Brother…People usually pick two special saints as a first and middle name. I am Sister Faustina Pio( this is my religious name)
legally can use the initials O.P after your name meaning Order of Preachers.
Have the right to choose to be buried in a Dominican habit, like a nun or men like priests

Requirements
Study what ever you can get your hands on about our faith in order to preach, teach and defend it
Pray always, personal but also the liturgy of the hours( Divine Office, Breviary) must be prayed every morning and evening
Daily rosary, after all Mary revealed the rosary to St Dominic
be involved with other Dominicans through meetings and retreats, because they are literally your family pray for dominicans worldwide as well as deceased Dominicans, they are all praying for you
Work in ways to help the down trodden, clothes for the poor, soup kitchens, prison ministry, comfort the sick, etc…

Famous Dominicans

St Dominic
St Catherine of Siena
St Martin de Porres
Pope Pius V ( made the catechism of the council of trent, also the reason why priests wear white. Dominican habit is white so he wore his and it stuck through history.)
St Thomas Aquinas
Blessed Pierre Frassati
Blessed Margaret Castello
So many Im out of room…

I hope this helps you. I’ll answer any other questions:)
 
Hello,
It was wonderful to hear that you are looking into The Third Order Carmelites.
I am a Third Order Novice Myself. This is my third year in Carmel.
There is First Order which are the Priests.
Second Order which are the Cloistered Nuns and Hermits
Third Order which are the Sisters who work outside the convent as in taking care of the elderly or teaching etc., and also the Lay Members of Carmel.
There are 2 separate types of Carmelites.
One is O’Carm (which is what I am) and the other is Third Order Secular. The difference is very slight. O’Carm follow Carmel as established under the desert father Elijah and the Discalced who follow the lead of St. Theresa of Avila’s reformed Carmelites.
I don’t know if I’ve confused you more or helped you, but if you would like more information here is the URL to the provincial office for my location carmelites.com/
and two addresses for more Carmelite info in general www.ocarm.org and www.ocd.pcn.net

God Bless You and I hope you find where God is calling you to be!!
Beverly
 
Darnok said:
I have a few tips for you on how to select a Third Order. I went through this same process and decided on the Secular Franciscans. When considering a Third Order, two (2) documents to get a hold of are their constitution and their Rules of Order. Often times they will be available on the respective order’s website (if they have one).
Should you get this, look at what charisms are connected with the Order. Also, try as much as possible to get a feel for their spirituality. What are their values and how do they match up with yours?
Do they have local meetings in your area? Find out where and when. Do what you can to attend one of their general meetings. How warm and welcoming are they to you? Their should be someone who holds the position of “Formation Commission leader (or something similar).” It’s this person’s job to make sure that new members are taught properly what the Order does and stands for. Ask for a description of their formation process for new people entering. Are you able and willing to meet those requirements?
If you have specific desires on your spirituality, ask them about it. The more important TLM is important to you (for example), the more important it should be to the group.
There should not be very much compromising on your spirituality. It should be they naturally believe what you believe and hold important what is important to you.
The last on the list (and definitely not the least) pray pray pray.
I hope this helps
Click to expand...
Additionally, you would want to ensure their order has backing by canonical approval of the diocese, a sure sign the order is in full communion with the Church.

Andy
 
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