Which would be better?

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freckledlizzy

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I cannot seem to find the answer through prayer and I know it is hard to find in Scripture…🤷

This is a serious question that needs serious attention and the answer must be in line with Church teachings. No hogwash please. :):o

My husband and I have abstained from sex for a long time now. It is due in part to the fact that I do not want anymore children. He is not Catholic but knows the methods of withdrawal or abc cannot be used and I suppose NFP cannot be used if you are using it with a contraceptive mindset. However abstinence in that department has been troubling for both of us.

We’re continuing until we find a better method. We absolutely are not open to life right now. Maybe in 3 or 4 years we may be again. I am still PRO life. If we engaged tomorrow and it resulted in pregnancy we would deal and do what is necessary we would not abort. We never have. Its just that we are both so overwhelmed as it is now that we do not want another human being to care for with the 2 children we have (together) now. We’re tired, stressed, and even if it weren’t for our ACTUAL vow to abstain we’d be abstinent anyway. When do you find the time?:confused:

Should we have gotten married? Perhaps not but that was 4 years ago when we were both atheists. We had our marriage validated by my priest but…anyway now…

This is starting to get to us both…the abstinence but perhaps our urges are something we should stifle until we’re open to life again.

Pray and abstain? Use NFP anyway?🤷
 
freckledlizzy said:
I cannot seem to find the answer through prayer and I know it is hard to find in Scripture…🤷

This is a serious question that needs serious attention and the answer must be in line with Church teachings. No hogwash please. :):o

My husband and I have abstained from sex for a long time now. It is due in part to the fact that I do not want anymore children. He is not Catholic but knows the methods of withdrawal or abc cannot be used and I suppose NFP cannot be used if you are using it with a contraceptive mindset. However abstinence in that department has been troubling for both of us.

We’re continuing until we find a better method. We absolutely are not open to life right now. Maybe in 3 or 4 years we may be again. I am still PRO life. If we engaged tomorrow and it resulted in pregnancy we would deal and do what is necessary we would not abort. We never have. Its just that we are both so overwhelmed as it is now that we do not want another human being to care for with the 2 children we have (together) now. We’re tired, stressed, and even if it weren’t for our ACTUAL vow to abstain we’d be abstinent anyway. When do you find the time?:confused:

Should we have gotten married? Perhaps not but that was 4 years ago when we were both atheists. We had our marriage validated by my priest but…anyway now…

This is starting to get to us both…the abstinence but perhaps our urges are something we should stifle until we’re open to life again.

Pray and abstain? Use NFP anyway?🤷
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You’re allowed to use NFP for the purpose of contraception.
 
I was told NFP is not supposed to be used as a purpose of contraception, though.
 
freckledlizzy said:
I was told NFP is not supposed to be used as a purpose of contraception, though.
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That is correct. A couple needs a serious reason to postpone pregnancy. If a serious reason exists, complete abstinance or NFP are acceptable methods.
 
The only reasons we have are we are falling on hard times, we’re stressed, overwhelmed with a toddler and a 5 month old, and tired. No time for anything but kids, work and school haha. Such is life.🤷
 
This is a very serious situation and a very serious decision. I am not smart enough to answer but how about consulting your priest? Or have you tried that already?
 
All I can give you is what I know :-/

NFP can be used to avoid pregnancy when it is not for frivolous reasons. If you really do not feel you can emotionally or financially provide for another child, I would think that is not a frivolous reason to abstain during your fertile periods and have sex when you are infertile. Sex is procreative, and that procreative potential is not to be obstructed through artificial means or pulling out, but it is also meant as a unitive act between a couple.

Look at it this way; if you follow NFP to the letter and still get pregnant, although it may be stressful and seem impossible, it happened for a reason. God REALLY meant for you to have that baby, although it may take a long time (if ever) for you to know why.

However, I have to agree… asking your priest for guidance is probably the best call.👍

Best luck, dear!

Let us know how it goes.
 
freckledlizzy said:
The only reasons we have are we are falling on hard times, we’re stressed, overwhelmed with a toddler and a 5 month old, and tired. No time for anything but kids, work and school haha. Such is life.🤷
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NFP can be used for just reasons, and you have certainly discerned that you need to space.

I believe you are attempting to place a burden on yourself that the Church doesn’t.
 
which would be better?
to identify and deal with the conditions in your life that are leaving you over-stressed and over-tired–and it is highly doubtful that your children are the cause of those conditions–and deal with them, and while you are doing it, trust in God completely and give him overlordship in every aspect of your life, including and especially the timing of children.

NFP and “contraceptive mindset” are mutually exclusive, because NFP is practicing periodic continence, assisted by modern methods of ovulation prediction, either to facilitate, or to avoid conception. “Contraceptive mindset” means willingness to adopt any artificial means to avoid conception. Of course NFP can be practice to delay conception for any good and prudent reason, but one does have a duty to look at those reasons and re-asses, and submit them to prudential judgement.
freckledlizzy said:
I was told NFP is not supposed to be used as a purpose of contraception, though.
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and this information was given to you by whom? Ask your pastor to refer you to NFP teachers who are versed not only in the best methods but also in actual Church teaching on the topic.
 
You won’t find NFP in the scriptures as it was created by MAN not ordered by God
 
Maureen1125 said:
You won’t find NFP in the scriptures as it was created by MAN not ordered by God
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God created the woman’s cycle. God has never condemned abstaining.

I’m not sure I understand your position on NFP. That is not what the Church teaches.
 
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