Even if a couple is currently not having relations for some reason, I think the spousal relationship remains different from friendship. It is an enriching and valuable. The set of commitments is different, for example.
In Orthodoxy, we believe the marriage bond to extend beyond physical death, and as we believe there will be no sex in Heaven, this bond is real and meaningful “even” without sex. The point is that two are made one, and not just physically.
Growing spiritually could certainly be considered a genuine need. The problem with your ideology is first that you’ve bought into secularized views of sex and second while you think you’re trying to “reaffirm” sex what you are really doing is telling people that can’t they have less of a marriage. Equally so you’re telling people that aren’t interested something is wrong with them. It’s simply putting a small cart before the horse.
First, a marriage is one person not three. Second, if sex was such an important thing it would seem odd that it will be gone in the world to come and yet Jesus is clear that people will “be as angels.” Angels are genderless beings and do not have sex. Sex, even within marriage, can often become problematic. Not to mention that sex is the cause of a huge amount of pain in this world.
Again, this bit of “sex is the most import thing ever” theology is merely Catholic and Protestant reaction to a very sexualized secular world. It’s a disordered view of sex and can be very unhealthy.
No, it’s certainly not a myth. It is simply biology. It is perfectly natural for sex drive to decrease as one ages. As women become older it becomes increasingly dangerous for the woman to become pregnant and for the child of such a pregnancy. If this were unnatural it would be the exception rather than the rule, and people wouldn’t need dangerous drugs because they think they “need” to continue having sex.
And you have some proof of that assertation?
And how many is “many?” Maybe it does happen for some, and for just as many the opposite. These are matters for couples and spiritual fathers. It’s not for you to say they need to have sex or for anyone to say they have to give up.Menopause does not mean a woman never wants sex again either. Many women actually say they were surprised at wanting it MORE.
Thank you, Jules! A very good point, since the linguistics of it could be the root to the confusion.
Fortunately, this is a myth.
I agree. The term “white marriage” seems to mean that a marriage that includes a sex life is somehow less pure.
Unless you die during the embrace, you abstained for the rest of your life. Most of marriage is abstaining. It’s just that some times the abstenance gets burdensome.
I had to read that a couple of times to get it. I agree, abstinence gets burdensome (been there, am in the middle of it
). It shouldn’t be encouraged without proper consideration.The term I have always heard is Josephite Marriage. It has a noble tradition in east and west for those who are called to it.
In the Eastern Catholic Churches, all fasts include an abstention from the passions that excite, of which spicy food and the marital bed are included among many other things. If you are Eastern Catholic, you probably haven’t heard of them because of a reluctance to discuss this ‘private’ issue publicly. If you are Roman Catholic, it is probably because you are not yet familiar with the Eastern Catholic Churches.
