who cares?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Katie_Trina
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Katie_Trina

Guest
Dear Catholic Answers friends,
I am having a very bad day. I tried to tell myself it’ll get better, but it isn’t, its getting harder as the day goes on. I’m 27 weeks pregnant and wolke up feeling so miserable, I cancelled my chiropractor appt. Then thinking that we were going to be gone all morning in town, and now we weren’t, I asked my husband to watch the kids so I could rest and feel better. He got very upset and make a long story short, I got up anyways the kids weren’t too bad this AM byt now they’re screaming at each other and just miserable, it was a difficult AM getting stuff done, and while my husband was very repentant for being so upset, he couldn’t understand why I said I didn’t feel good, that was frustrating, I’m also remembering my mother hasn’t called me in a long time, that she called me a B!@$h years ago, that I can’t drive and have trouble deeping up with the girls outside so we mostly stay inside, my husband is a farmer and its his busry time and I HATE THIS TIME OF YEAT!!! My oldest two kids bicker and fight all the time,. I don’t have ANYONE to watch the kids when I’m in labor, my family is too far away, and my two sister in laws are always busy with housework.I thought about asking our parish priest for advice on who could help in our parish, but my husband doesn’t want strangers watching the kids…… He says, don’t worry…… wouldn’t you if you were 27 weeks??? I’m falling so far behind in household chores and doing a good job at feeling sorry for myself, PLEASE ask God to surpreise me with a great day HAHAHAHAHA cause I don’t think its gonna happen……. I feel so depressed right now, I’d like to think it can’t get worse but……
 
First, :console: I had one of those days a few weeks ago, too. If you need to lock yourself in the bathroom while you take a bath and kids watch a movie, do that. See if there’s any snacks, drinks, specials treats that you find comforting. Once you’ve done that, come up with a plan. Figure out the things you need changed. The kids- send them outside to play and dont let them in again unless there’s blood. That will also tire them out (with luck), and they can’t mess up their room if they’re outside. Now, as far as the house goes, don’t try and do too much; rest. If you get those energy surges to cook and clean, try and do a whole bunch then, while you’re up to it. And if your husband doesn’t like the idea of a babysitter to watch the kids, why not get a teenager in to clean up/ cook some meals for you while you spend time with the kids? Next Sunday, look around for girls age 14-18; I did a lot of housework jobs at that age, and was thankful for the extra twenty bucks!
Hope some of this helps.
 
I care!
Hugs and prayers for you, from someone who has been in your situation. I even came home 4 hours after delivering one of my 6 because i had no one reliable to watch my other ones, even w/ my parents nearby.
I wish I could come help with housework, give you a real hug and ear to vent to, and help your husband understand that pregnancy by 27 weeks is a full time job for many people and he needs to support you emotional and by helping out or taking over or getting someone to take over some stuff so you can rest when you need to. Your body is telling you to take better care of it somehow and rest is very important.
I really do care and will pray for you.
 
A few practical suggestions;

a) Inviting a family member to stay to help you around the house; or to watch the children whilst you are in labor may not be a bad idea.

b) Understanding that your husband does not want any stranger to watch the children; is it not possible he would be open to allowing a stranger to help with some household tasks; even if it is only something like doing the gardening or shopping so that your husband is able to watch the children whilst you rest; or spend some time with you?

c) Do not worry. You can only do your best.

👍
 
We care. Talk to your husband again about your need for help, and be persistent, calm and persuasive. Then ask your parish priest. There may be someone in your parish that would like to have some company too. North Dakota has some pretty awesome people; we moved here 15 years ago and stayed because of the people and the Fargo diocese (fantastic).
 
RachelKH said:
I care!
Hugs and prayers for you, from someone who has been in your situation. I even came home 4 hours after delivering one of my 6 because i had no one reliable to watch my other ones, even w/ my parents nearby.
I wish I could come help with housework, give you a real hug and ear to vent to, and help your husband understand that pregnancy by 27 weeks is a full time job for many people and he needs to support you emotional and by helping out or taking over or getting someone to take over some stuff so you can rest when you need to. Your body is telling you to take better care of it somehow and rest is very important.
I really do care and will pray for you.
Click to expand...
Did you ask your parents to help you? This is sad…you delivered one baby, and four hours later you rushed home to watch your other five kids??? :eek: Please tell us you rested and had some kind of help!
 
i only got to come home to care for my 3rd child that soon – the other 5 had to deal with my parents or my dh’s parents – not an ideal situation, but i suppose better than no one.
see, my parents are both ‘mild narcissists’ – blaming my children for being um, ‘childish’ by breaking delicate things my parents gave them to play with, getting hungry when it was ‘not the right time to eat’, staining w/ red sauce or paint the white clothing my parents put on them, etc. So, you know, you don’t want children to spend too much unsupervised time together with my parents. and my dh’s were equally unsuitable due to their christian science religion that didn’t believe in pain, illness, injuries, etc and unhealthy eating habits they pushed on my children at every opportunity. so, no helpful husband or family – i did it all myself, and lived to regret it.
 
Thanks guys so much!!! Today is going so much better. My husband took my older two daughters ages 3 and 2, to town to shop and see his mother ( she’s in her 80’s) The youngest is taking a nap and its easier right now. DH farms, takes care of all the garden and repairs things for others mainly leather and canvashe doesn’t have a lot of spare time, but still manages to do most the dishes, the mopping and alot of cooking. Our biggest problem are the two oldest. I sure wish I could turn them outside 🙂 Sounds super to me, but with all the equipment at home, and my brother in law’s welding and repair shop on the same land, its far too dangerous to leave them alone. DH made them a beautiful playhouse in his “spare time” but has not had a chance to fence it in… I’m worried he won’t get a chance this summer. I am definetly going to lock myself in the bathroom, and have a movie or something on for them.HAHAHAHA:) I love those kids, they are just so aggravating at times!!! My oldest is so affectionate, the middle one is so concerned about my tummy hurting “feeling better mama?” always makes me smile:)
I thought my hospital stay was short with my last one, I didn’t even stay 24 hours after I delivered my last one. They had to take her to another hospital and the pain of seperation was so great, I left the next am. I was told I could leave that night already. I spent all day in bed at home. I just couldn’t bear hearing other mom’s getting their babies. The other hospital wouldn’t take me with her and I sure wasn’t up to all that standing, sitting etc.
My mom is suicidal, I can’t ask her,. She made comments about taking my 6 yr old sister with her too, I won’t trust her with my kids. His side his mom is too elderly and has trouble getting around, and we’ve asked both sisters… they are always busy or have to go somewhere else… a family reunion or a movie. The one sister is more understanding she offered to find someone to take the tickets, I will try and ask her but I’m not hopeful. His brother is just as busy as DH but he loves the girls completely, in a pinch he will watch them…
Oh rats, I can’t write anymore my daughters nap is nearly done and I’ve got more to do:)
Have a great day guys and thanks SO MUCH for the pick me up!!! I greatly apperciate it
Oh and I did miraculously have a good night! Thanks God… I left the song God put in my head at the water cooler Jesus I trust in You…
 
Hi Katie Trina! I don’t have any advice, just wanted to invite you to the Pregnant Mommies thread. We love to get new members and it’s a great place to vent your frustrations and receive support among other women who may know what you’re going through! 👍
 
Glad you are feeling better. I had a pretty rough day yesterday too and right be fore dinner I had a good cry and then was able to cook dinner and had a good evening also. Oh and ditto GracedUpon, it great to vent to people who understand.👍
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top