Who else enjoys being alone?

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I LOVE eating alone in a great little restaurant and reading a book while I eat.

Sadly, this hasn’t happened since March in our area of Illinois, and probably won’t happen until after the Presidential election. 😦

And even then, it probably won’t happen until spring or summer of 2021.

Sigh. I hate COVID-19.
 
I never said I go places without INFORMING my husband. I let him know where I’m going and when I’ll be home and I shoot him a text upon arrival and departure. I live in a virtual wilderness, 30 minutes from the nearest town, and I have OnStar in my vehicle for the occasional dead zones. That’s just common courtesy.

What I DON’T have to do is consult–“Hey, babe, I’m in Boring Town and I’m going to check out that funky little organic cafe with the weird teas and weirder sandwiches for lunch, does that sound okay to you?” If I were with him or my friends or other family, I would have to ask where they wanted to eat. When I’m alone, I don’t. Same for going to do certain things.

And I’m never not there for meals. Even if I throw dinner in the crockpot before I leave, I’m home an hour before anyone else is to finish up preparations unless I’m at work. Also, neither of us has ever taken an overnight trip without the other. We both know where the other is and what time we should expect each other home and we text each other throughout the day (He: How’s your day going? I’ll be in a meeting for about an hour, I’ll text you when I’m out in case you need anything. Me: I’m heading up to Boring Town to wander the shops, you need me to pick up anything from Walmart on my way home? I’ll text you a reminder before I head back.)

We’ve been married 33 years. INFORMING is one thing. CONSULTING is another. Maybe we have different understanding of the words.
 
bluerose said:
Does anyone else feel like this, or is it just me?
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Oh my, yes. I am a loner from the get go, have been for as far back as I can remember. If I was put in a playroom with other kids I just stood and stared at the wall. When we went to someone’s house for any reason I preferred to sit with the adults rather than mix with the other kids. I refused to go to any and all elementary and high school social occasions, including graduation. For a time I was drawn out of my shell and eventually became a song and worship leader at the church I went to, and even became a very accomplished public speaker. But when I left that organization in 1996 I quickly learned that this was not something I enjoyed and immediately reverted to my reclusive and private life. I’ve been married since 1980 and have three grown kids but they all know I don’t like to mingle at family gatherings and will most likely be found alone with a book at such times. At home I normally go up to bed no later than 8pm so I can read by myself. My wife does the same downstairs and we are both very much attuned to the joys of privacy. We don’t entertain or accept invitations from anyone other than family.

I started attending Mass four or five years ago and have yet to tell anyone my name. I am very comfortable being that strange guy who sits at the back and never talks to anyone. So you are far from alone, as I see from the other posts in this topic. Enjoy the solitude. The wife of a famous evangelist once wrote that she loved watching the birds in their backyard and noted many different personalities among them. At the many bird baths scattered through the yard the sparrows gathered in large, boisterous groups, making a party of the whole thing. The robins would fly in the edge of the baths, often in pairs, and have a more private session. Woodpeckers, on the other hand, would not approach any of the other birds and took sips of water only if they had the whole thing to themselves. It was a wonderful demonstration, she said, of the vast variety inherent within creation and no human should ever feel they ought to fit in differently than how they naturally choose to interact. In my case, I made the choice to experiment with a more social life and ultimately rejected it as a source of fulfillment or happiness. I don’t feel guilty in any way. Enjoy your solitude whenever you feel you need some. 🙂
 
CelticWarlord: Oh my goodness, I just read your post and yes! We ARE woven from the same cloth! Many similarities in our lives. As children, as adults, our kids, our spouses also being cool with doing our own thing.

I take after my grandmother in my love of solitude. When someone asked her a few years before she passed away about how lonely she must get home alone all the time after Grandpa passed, she looked at them like they were crazy. “I am NEVER bored with my own company!” Ha ha ha. I agree. I love my own company. And a good book. 😉
 
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Some people are solitary by nature. And, that’s fine, as long as they still have love in their lives.

There’s a huge difference between choosing to be alone and being lonely.
 
I like being alone being borderline extrovet/introvert. I am infp.

I need alone time but am a salesperson by nature. So im on stage at work and decline all invitations to just be home --recovering .
 
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bluerose said:
but I think he is a little jealous that I have time to do stuff alone and that I sometimes PREFER to be alone than with anyone else. I think he thinks I don’t like to be with him and is hurt that I would enjoy myself without him.
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I love my alone time sooo much and sometimes feel frustrated when I’m not getting enough, but the thing that always brings me perspective is that I’m also really grateful that I have a good husband around the place. When he is around I try to be fully engaged with him because I think that a lot of the time spouses can feel taken for granted.
 
As much as I enjoy the company of friends and family, being too social can be exhausting for me, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I am not shy at all, very gregarious but I need to recharge by being alone.

There’s this misconception that introversion is synonymous with shyness. That’s mistaken.
 
Motherwit said:
I’m also really grateful that I have a good husband around the place. When he is around I try to be fully engaged with him because I think that a lot of the time spouses can feel taken for granted.
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EXACTLY! I never begrudge the time I get to spend with him and I’m touched that he makes time to spend with me, doing things that are not his idea of a great time but he does them because he knows how much I enjoy them and he wants to be able to connect with me on that level! It would be so easy for him to say, “Go ahead, I’m going to watch the game” but he always thinks about how his brothers would do anything to be able to have one more afternoon with their wives and he doesn’t want to miss a thing.
 
I can’t believe so many of you are like me! I’ve always said that I have no problem with my own company.

Like @Tis_Bearself, I’m an only child and only children survive by self entertainment. I love being with others and family, too. I’ve been married 47 years and my husband has always understood we both like our alone time. I also love the time we spend together but we both seem to have a need to go out or close ourself away from each other and the world here and there.

I’m not sure if it’s a selfishness or just how I’m wired but there are times…often each day…where I don’t want to deal with another person. I need that “me” time!
 
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