Who gives away a bride with no family?

[JadensMom]

Sort of an odd question I know but a friend of mine from our parish is going through it!

This young lady has no living family anywhere. Her mother died shortly after she was born, her father died in a motorcycle crash when she was in grade school, and she was raised by her elderly maternal grandmother, who died of old age when my friend was in college.

Now she’s finished with school and about to get married in our church to a very nice young man. They hope for a big family not in the least because my friend felt very alone in the world without any family of her own.

So now the dilemma – who gives away an orphaned bride? My friend is thinking of just walking down the aisle alone.

Would it be appropriate for one of the parish deacons or a good friend to escort her? I can’t find anything in any of my etiquette books!

 

[Lila_grace]

I Had a very dear family friend walk me down the aisle at my wedding.

My father passed away a few years before the wedding and I have a very poor relationship with my mother.

My situation isn’t the same but I think that your wedding should have the people that are dear to you involved. If you don’t have family members still around then use your friends or future in-laws, church family etc…

I also don’t see anything wrong with walking down the aisle herself.
I thought about doing that but I have the WORST balance and thought it’d be best if someone was besides me in case I did a face plant on the way to the alter

 

[Catholic90]

Why not walk down the aisle together?

The whole business of “giving the bride away” is not Catholic. It actually goes back to the times when women were considered property and the fathers literally GAVE their daughters to a man.

So I vote for either walking down herself or walking down together.

 

[KathyA]

When my husband and I married 22 years ago, we walked down the aisle together.
Kathy

 

[Ridgerunner]

I would bet there are 100 men in the parish who would be proud to do it if asked. Walk an orphaned bride down the aisle and be a father to her for a few minutes? I, for one, wouldn’t have to be asked twice.

 

[1ke]

In the Catholic Marriage Rite, no one gives away the bride.

The couple should process together.

 

[jmcrae]

When my husband and I married 22 years ago, we walked down the aisle together.
Kathy

This is how it is properly done in the Catholic Church.

To the OP - if it’s going to be a Catholic wedding, then she is not being “given away” - she is giving herself in marriage to her husband, and he is also giving himself to her.

They should walk down the aisle together.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Why not walk down the aisle together?

My husband and I walked down the aisle flanked by both parents, but if that had not been possible, we would’ve walked together. I like both ways.

The whole business of “giving the bride away” is not Catholic. It actually goes back to the times when women were considered property and the fathers literally GAVE their daughters to a man.

Yep.

 

[IrishAm]

To the OP - if it’s going to be a Catholic wedding, then she is not being “given away” - she is giving herself in marriage to her husband, and he is also giving himself to her.

They should walk down the aisle together.

I think SHOULD is a rather strong word . . .

Certainly, they CAN walk down the aisle together.

She can also walk down by herself or be escorted down the aisle by someone else.

jmcrae is correct when writing that, in any case, she is not being “given away” in a Catholic wedding, even if it were her father standing by her side . . .

 

[OLHope]

This is what I have seen so far:

1. An Uncle
2. InLaw
3. Godparent/Sponsor
4. Positive Role Model

You are allowed to go by yourself, too. However a priest I know frowned upon it, which I thought was odd.

-Hope

 

[jmcrae]

I think SHOULD is a rather strong word . . .

I think it’s actually a requirement in the Rite of Weddings, that the couple are to act as the Presiders at the wedding (not only the bride, but also the groom), which means, coming last in the procession (if there is a procession), after the priest and altar servers.

 

[baltobetsy]

An old buddy of my late father walked me down the aisle. I loved it, and so did he and so did my mom. This was 27 years ago, and it never occurred to anyone that I would walk alone or with my mother - it had to be a man!

Betsy

 

[yellowbird]

I would bet there are 100 men in the parish who would be proud to do it if asked. Walk an orphaned bride down the aisle and be a father to her for a few minutes? I, for one, wouldn’t have to be asked twice.

Awww Ridgerunner, that’s sweet.

 

[1ke]

I think SHOULD is a rather strong word . . .

Read the Rite. The **norm **is for the bride and groom to walk together in the procession. The priest **can **allow the bride to be escorted by her father or another.

So, processing together is what they **should **do, and allowing something else is what the priest **may **do.

 

[armywife]

We walked down together. That’s my vote!

 

[pumpkinbeast]

In a Catholic wedding, the father escorts the bride down the aisle, he does NOT ‘give her away’. Or the couple can walk down together, as others pointed out. Your friend could walk by herself, or pick a male relative or friend to escort her, or walk down the aisle with her beloved. Take your pick! ^^

 

[chevalier]

An instinct answer was “the priest”, but he would be presiding.

The old custom is dear, even if I dislike the Roman Law notion of the father’s and later husband’s authority (which both exist) are a form of property. It can be quite elevating, judging from some of the posts here.

 

[Marysann]

I recently attended a Catholic wedding in Israel where the bride and the groom processed down the aisle together, but in America the bride is usually escorted down by a male relative. The bride could also be escorted by a female relative. I read that after the death of Prince Albert, Queen Victoria escorted her daughters at their marriages, and no one ever accused Queen Victoria of not knowing proper etiquette! As other posters have noted, the bride could chose her godfather, an uncle or maybe a old friend of her parents. Catholic brides are not given away by anyone, but it would be sad to see a girl walk down the aisle alone.

 

[Phemie]

The Rite certainly expects that the couple will be greeted by the priest at the back of the church (like at Baptism) and that they will then walk down the aisle together in the Entrance Procession. It goes as far as saying that ideally the couple are at the back of the church welcoming their guests to the ceremony.

In practice I’ve only known that to happen once in our parish – the bride was the diocesan Catechetical Coordinator.

Back in 1975, in another parish, DH and I were greeted at the back of the church and walked up in the procession, not together but with my dad accompanying me and DH being accompanied by the best man. Two years later, same parish, my brother and his bride were accompanied by both sets of parents and the witnesses while they walked in the Entrance Procession but I can’t remember if the parents and witnesses followed of if bride and groom were flanked by their respective parents.

 

[chevalier]

I recently attended a Catholic wedding in Israel where the bride and the groom processed down the aisle together, but in America the bride is usually escorted down by a male relative. The bride could also be escorted by a female relative. I read that after the death of Prince Albert, Queen Victoria escorted her daughters at their marriages, and no one ever accused Queen Victoria of not knowing proper etiquette! As other posters have noted, the bride could chose her godfather, an uncle or maybe a old friend of her parents. Catholic brides are not given away by anyone, but it would be sad to see a girl walk down the aisle alone.

Regnant queens are special. For example, Victoria had to propose to Prince Albert because it was believed a sovereign should propose to a non-sovereign, not the other way round.