Who really is my boss God or a human

[Anglewannabe]

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about saints who were always kind to others no matter how cruel those people were to them.

My boss at work drives me crazy. She always is snapping at everything, asking me to do things one way and then the next day being mad because I did it the way she told me. Or, she is unclear. I feel she is giving me contradictory instructions. A few days ago, I actually got up the nerve to politely say ‘This is where I get confused, why is it sometimes I should do it this way and other times I shouldn’t’ To which she snapped ‘Because blah blah blah’. After she explained the difference, it did make sense. But nonetheless, I did not appreciate being talked to like I am an idiot. All I could think was ‘If you told me that in the first place things would have been ok’. But I kept that comment to myself.

Every since I started there 9 months ago, I have tried in my mind and heart to be charitable. I have been trying to do a good job and telling myself she just has a lot on her mind, she does that to everyone not just me. But I must admit, I am getting fed up at always trying to put on a positive attitude when it gets me no where with her. I admire the saints who always persevered in their kindness but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

The truth is, I am on contract so her opinion of me does matter in case a permanent job comes up, or for a reference in the future. But then, would that not be a secular way of looking at things? After all, if God is all powerful, would He not put me in the job He wants me in? Which brings up a whole other fear, what if He doesn’t want me in a good job?

Angie

 

[TxGodfollower]

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about saints who were always kind to others no matter how cruel those people were to them.

My boss at work drives me crazy. She always is snapping at everything, asking me to do things one way and then the next day being mad because I did it the way she told me. Or, she is unclear. I feel she is giving me contradictory instructions. A few days ago, I actually got up the nerve to politely say ‘This is where I get confused, why is it sometimes I should do it this way and other times I shouldn’t’ To which she snapped ‘Because blah blah blah’. After she explained the difference, it did make sense. But nonetheless, I did not appreciate being talked to like I am an idiot. All I could think was ‘If you told me that in the first place things would have been ok’. But I kept that comment to myself.

Every since I started there 9 months ago, I have tried in my mind and heart to be charitable. I have been trying to do a good job and telling myself she just has a lot on her mind, she does that to everyone not just me. But I must admit, I am getting fed up at always trying to put on a positive attitude when it gets me no where with her. I admire the saints who always persevered in their kindness but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

The truth is, I am on contract so her opinion of me does matter in case a permanent job comes up, or for a reference in the future. But then, would that not be a secular way of looking at things? After all, if God is all powerful, would He not put me in the job He wants me in? Which brings up a whole other fear, what if He doesn’t want me in a good job?

Angie

Angie,

I think your best course of action is to be the best employee you can be. It sounds like your boss is condescending and belittling, but doesn’t ask you to do anything unethical. We are called to obey those over us, because God put them there. It is hard sometimes, but they have the responsibility to lead well; we just have to follow as long as it doesn’t cross God’s standards.

God will lead you to the job He has for you; it might not be what you consider a “good” job, but it will be where you can make the biggest impact for him.

 

[John_Martin]

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about saints who were always kind to others no matter how cruel those people were to them.

My boss at work drives me crazy. She always is snapping at everything, asking me to do things one way and then the next day being mad because I did it the way she told me. Or, she is unclear. I feel she is giving me contradictory instructions. A few days ago, I actually got up the nerve to politely say ‘This is where I get confused, why is it sometimes I should do it this way and other times I shouldn’t’ To which she snapped ‘Because blah blah blah’. After she explained the difference, it did make sense. But nonetheless, I did not appreciate being talked to like I am an idiot. All I could think was ‘If you told me that in the first place things would have been ok’. But I kept that comment to myself.

Every since I started there 9 months ago, I have tried in my mind and heart to be charitable. I have been trying to do a good job and telling myself she just has a lot on her mind, she does that to everyone not just me. But I must admit, I am getting fed up at always trying to put on a positive attitude when it gets me no where with her. I admire the saints who always persevered in their kindness but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

The truth is, I am on contract so her opinion of me does matter in case a permanent job comes up, or for a reference in the future. But then, would that not be a secular way of looking at things? After all, if God is all powerful, would He not put me in the job He wants me in? Which brings up a whole other fear, what if He doesn’t want me in a good job?

Angie

Sounds like my wife’s old boss - she acted exactly like you are saying. Could it be the same person?
Anyway, it is true you can be the best employee she ever had, yet it can also do damage to your understanding of yourself. If you do stay with it, either she will change or one day you will quit (either in strength of saying “no” and getting another job, or in weakness of despair and hurt and confusion of what life should be about). That last part is how my wife quit. It is real, the damage that can happen from a boss. I do know that sometimes it is the employee’s fault, but from my wife’s successful job history before this boss, and the way you describe yourself, you still have to accept that it is the boss sometimes that is the problem.

My 2 cents.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Sounds like my wife’s old boss - she acted exactly like you are saying. Could it be the same person?.

Do you live in Canada If not then there are probably 2 such bosses in the world

Anyway, it is true you can be the best employee she ever had, yet it can also do damage to your understanding of yourself.

I agree that psychologically it could do damage, but didn’t Jesus come to heal the broken hearted? I am NOT going to bet on this woman changing. And Lord knows and I doing my best to get another job. So in a way, I really think the true test for me is to follow God and to learn to hear His will

 

[PietroPaolo]

Do you live in Canada If not then there are probably 2 such bosses in the world

I agree that psychologically it could do damage, but didn’t Jesus come to heal the broken hearted? I am NOT going to bet on this woman changing. And Lord knows and I doing my best to get another job. So in a way, I really think the true test for me is to follow God and to learn to hear His will

Sounds like you are on the right path. Do your best to be an ideal employee and look for another job. I’ll remember you in my prayers. God bless.

 

[pianistclare]

It’s possible God needs you there.
To model humility, patience, peace, and tolerance to a woman who seems to not possess any of those qualities.
Keep in mind that God uses us fro the good of others, not just arranging things for our benefit.
I’ve had lots of lousy bosses. Things will get better. Who knows? You may learn some important management skills (like what NOT to do) for future reference.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about saints who were always kind to others no matter how cruel those people were to them.

My boss at work drives me crazy. She always is snapping at everything, asking me to do things one way and then the next day being mad because I did it the way she told me. Or, she is unclear. I feel she is giving me contradictory instructions. A few days ago, I actually got up the nerve to politely say ‘This is where I get confused, why is it sometimes I should do it this way and other times I shouldn’t’ To which she snapped ‘Because blah blah blah’. After she explained the difference, it did make sense. But nonetheless, I did not appreciate being talked to like I am an idiot. All I could think was ‘If you told me that in the first place things would have been ok’. But I kept that comment to myself.

That is exactly the best approach IMO. Let your boss be your boss. Dogs will bark, birds will sing, grouches will growl. But as long as she is giving you the information and guidance you need, accept the guidance with love, and work the inner issues of how you’ve been treated, without bouncing them back at her.

This is the saintly approach IMO. But not because you “stuff it” or “seethe quietly,” but because you learn to look past her persona and her attitude, and see that behind all of that is the guidance and information you need to do your job. If you can learn to get it out of her, then you can be a good employee and hopefully she recognizes you are doing it right. Maybe she’ll figure out someday that better communication will make her people do better things and end up with better results on her watch and to her credit, but let’s not hope for too much at this point.

Every since I started there 9 months ago, I have tried in my mind and heart to be charitable. I have been trying to do a good job and telling myself she just has a lot on her mind, she does that to everyone not just me. But I must admit, I am getting fed up at always trying to put on a positive attitude when it gets me no where with her. I admire the saints who always persevered in their kindness but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

You are on the right track. Do not hold your anger. If you need to vent, find ways she will never know. Imagine her in terrible situations, or answering to God or to her own worst nightmare. You may end up pitying her.

But the more you listen to what she says and ignore how she says it, the more you will learn to become the saint you wish you were in these types of situation. The human mind and heart is very adaptive, and stress and judgment and feelings of being insulted can impede its ability to heal and go forward.

MS

 

[Anglewannabe]

Sounds like you are on the right path. Do your best to be an ideal employee and look for another job. I’ll remember you in my prayers. God bless.

Thank you so much, you are so kind

 

[Sereta]

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about saints who were always kind to others no matter how cruel those people were to them.

My boss at work drives me crazy. She always is snapping at everything, asking me to do things one way and then the next day being mad because I did it the way she told me. Or, she is unclear. I feel she is giving me contradictory instructions. A few days ago, I actually got up the nerve to politely say ‘This is where I get confused, why is it sometimes I should do it this way and other times I shouldn’t’ To which she snapped ‘Because blah blah blah’. After she explained the difference, it did make sense. But nonetheless, I did not appreciate being talked to like I am an idiot. All I could think was ‘If you told me that in the first place things would have been ok’. But I kept that comment to myself.

Every since I started there 9 months ago, I have tried in my mind and heart to be charitable. I have been trying to do a good job and telling myself she just has a lot on her mind, she does that to everyone not just me. But I must admit, I am getting fed up at always trying to put on a positive attitude when it gets me no where with her. I admire the saints who always persevered in their kindness but I don’t think I can hold on much longer.

The truth is, I am on contract so her opinion of me does matter in case a permanent job comes up, or for a reference in the future. But then, would that not be a secular way of looking at things? After all, if God is all powerful, would He not put me in the job He wants me in? Which brings up a whole other fear, what if He doesn’t want me in a good job?

Angie

Could she be going through menopause,pms or depression maybe?

 

[Anglewannabe]

Could she be going through menopause,pms or depression maybe?

I don’t know and frankly, I don’t think it is my business. I respect other people’s privacy. Not to mention as a women who is 45 and will probably being going through menopause in the next few years, I find it highly offensive to insinuate a normal part of life makes women unreasonable

 

[Sereta]

I don’t know and frankly, I don’t think it is my business. I respect other people’s privacy. Not to mention as a women who is 45 and will probably being going through menopause in the next few years, I find it highly offensive to insinuate a normal part of life makes women unreasonable

Hi Anglewannabe,
My intent wasn’t suggesting you to be nosy,but just to rationally consider whether it’s a possibility.
I was just putting out ideas that peoples behaviour can come from many causes.

Sometimes if we know that a behaviour is coming from a persons poor stress coping skills,hormonal changes,or depression etc as opposed to just being an unreasonable or controlling person,then it can help us to have a better understanding of why the person does what they do/say and be able to tolerate it better and have compassion.

On the other hand,of course there also are some people who are just wilfully unreasonable or controlling,overly ambition or domineering etc and it would take different methods to deal with them.

Please don’t take personally my comment about Menopause.
We have to be realistic about facts and of course neurotransmitters,sex hormones,neuroinflammation,etc can and do have an influence on people’s state.
I am a woman too.Menstruation,for example,is a normal part of life but that doesn’t negate the objective fact that some women are affected by PMS.

My comments certainly wern’t meant as an insult but as an objective fact that unbalanced hormones do GREATLY affect the brain (and in turn behaviour,memory function and cognition) and having low Progesterone levels,for example,can cause some women to feel more snappy or intolerant of others or not handle situations at optimal levels etc.
This isn’t conjecture but a fact and is proven in scientific studies which I will link here if you request me to.

There are many Estrogen and Progesterone receptors in the brain and unbalanced hormones can cause fluctuations in moods,tolerance levels,irritability,tension etc in addition to physical symptoms.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Please don’t take personally my comment about Menopause.
.

After your explanation, I can see where you are coming from. However, when it is just a one liner, it can come across differently. Does that make sense?

 

[Sereta]

After your explanation, I can see where you are coming from. However, when it is just a one liner, it can come across differently. Does that make sense?

I understand.Misunderstandings can easily happen over the internet because we can’t read people’s tones of voice etc.