Who should I confess to?

[Mrs_Sally]

If her conscience at the time was telling her she was flirting, or it was her intent to flirt (she says she has a crush on him ), then it would be considered flirting.

That said, under normal circumstances that wouldn’t be flirting, unless “by making eye contact” you mean were making eyes at him, and your “making small talk” was being obnoxious and kept “innocently touching” him, or trying to be cutesy.

It is possible to flirt with people and not even realize it, though. I had a guy friend whom I really liked, but he didn’t like me back the same way. I thought I was acting normal, but he kept accusing me of flirting with him. To this day I have no idea what he was talking about.

I understand. I “flirt” with everyone (men, women, children, young, old) according to some people because I do make eye contact and I am friendly and ‘smiley’. According to that definition I need to always be confessing.

Since the OP intended to flirt, I guess it was flirting, but I still don’t think it can be considered sinful to strike up a chat with someone at the grocery store. Especially since she was not posturing or making suggestive remarks.

 

[odile53]

It could have been much, much worse! You could have attempted to “practice your social skills” on a serial murderer, or a rapist! Don’t laugh too hard at that one; things like that happen to women. If your social skills are a little sub-par, you need to work on them in safer environments until you are able to start picking up on nuanced responses in others. Using a supermarket as a social learning laboratory could be a dangerous proposition. Try practicing talking with other people and looking approachable someplace safer, like a parish event.

I think I see where the mild obsession (“crush,” you call it,) over this priest is coming from. You’ve described yourself as extremely shy, and working on social skills, and this man responded probably politely, so your own subconscious mind reads it as him being somewhat interested. That doesn’t mean that you think of him as being interested in you consciously, because you know better. Yet that subconscious thought is rattling around there in your brain, and popping into consciousness at odd times.

The crush is one of those nagging thoughts that we can’t get rid of easily and permanently. Have you ever had the experience of a piece of music getting stuck in your mind for a long period of time? Or have you ever seen some item you’d like to buy, and you’re obsessed with getting it for a few days or weeks? This crush is the same kind of thing. Eventually, it will go away, provided you don’t encourage its continued presence.

If you feel the need to confess this, go ahead and do so to a different priest. But if there is someone on the parish staff, like a religious Sister, have a word with her privately over this situation to get some reassurance and some practical tips for working on your social skills in a healthy and safe manner.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

It could have been much, much worse! You could have attempted to “practice your social skills” on a serial murderer, or a rapist! Don’t laugh too hard at that one; things like that happen to women.

And a woman was recently shot dead by gang members when she answered her door, which they thought was the house they were going to for a drug deal. I guess that means we shouldn’t answer our doors.

The most common type of rape is date rape, and the majority of women are raped by their boyfriend who don’t know what the word “no” means or they take advantage of a drunk/drugged woman who is legally unable to give consent. The odds of running into the stereotypical rapist is slim to none.

Further, the odds of running into a serial killer are also pretty slim. Even if you were to run into one, you likely wouldn’t be able to know unless you’ve sin his/her picture in the news. Psychopaths and Sociopaths appear completely normal and are very smooth and can be quite cunning. They can also be completely normal upstanding citizens. It all depends on how they were raised.

 

[ilySHJ]

It could have been much, much worse! You could have attempted to “practice your social skills” on a serial murderer, or a rapist! Don’t laugh too hard at that one; things like that happen to women. If your social skills are a little sub-par, you need to work on them in safer environments until you are able to start picking up on nuanced responses in others. Using a supermarket as a social learning laboratory could be a dangerous proposition. Try practicing talking with other people and looking approachable someplace safer, like a parish event.

I think I see where the mild obsession (“crush,” you call it,) over this priest is coming from. You’ve described yourself as extremely shy, and working on social skills, and this man responded probably politely, so your own subconscious mind reads it as him being somewhat interested. That doesn’t mean that you think of him as being interested in you consciously, because you know better. Yet that subconscious thought is rattling around there in your brain, and popping into consciousness at odd times.

The crush is one of those nagging thoughts that we can’t get rid of easily and permanently. Have you ever had the experience of a piece of music getting stuck in your mind for a long period of time? Or have you ever seen some item you’d like to buy, and you’re obsessed with getting it for a few days or weeks? This crush is the same kind of thing. Eventually, it will go away, provided you don’t encourage its continued presence.

If you feel the need to confess this, go ahead and do so to a different priest. But if there is someone on the parish staff, like a religious Sister, have a word with her privately over this situation to get some reassurance and some practical tips for working on your social skills in a healthy and safe manner.

Yep … all of that. Wise and well said. I agree completely about choosing a safe forum to “practice” social skills.