One important thing to note is that the Saints tried to orient their wills towards God’s far more than the average person. Every now and then, I would say that I feel *almost *what they say they did, and then I end up turning back to where I was before, much to my dismay. It’s hard to do what they’ve accomplished, but certainly not impossible. One part of orienting one’s will with God’s is accepting that that one repentant sinner is just as valuable to God (and the Saints as well) as the holiest of Saints, if not more valuable, since they were so close to allowing themselves to be lost. The reason God rejoices so much over one lost soul returning than one saint never having left is because that lost soul is added to what God and that saint already have.
The worst sinner can repent of their deathbed and attain the same salvation as the most tormented martyr. The way you say this makes it sound as though that’s a bad thing. No saint would agree with that sentiment. Jesus died for all of us. Collectively as humanity, and individually as ourselves. Even if only one soul would have been saved as a result, He would have been crucified for that one person. If it would convince one lost soul to return, He would go through all of it again just for that person. If you think it is unfair that the repentant sinner gets to Heaven same as St. Stephen, you’re thinking of it from an earthly perspective. While it is within our power to reject God because of free will, it is not within our right to do so. God has given us that freedom so that we are able to fully choose to love Him, and unfortunately for many that means we also must be fully able to reject His love. Yet we are God’s creation, and His beloved children, and truthfully it is our *duty *to love Him as He has loved us. When a sinner repents, even if it’s at the last moment of their life, they are doing exactly what they were created to do. Freely enter into a relationship with God. We were not created to be alone, and are going against our nature when we reject God. We were made to be with Him in eternity. Every saint realized that, and oriented their earthly life towards that goal, whether they did so from childhood like St. Dominic Savio or St. Bernadette, a turning point after they were adults like St. Augustine or St. Paul, or their deathbed like countless people who have realized the truth of this life in their final moments, even if we don’t know their names.
God wishes for everyone to enter Heaven. Those who do not are those who chose not to, which sounds like it’s oversimplifying, but it is the truth. One could say that just wanting to enter Heaven isn’t enough, but wanting to enter Heaven should not be based on a desire to avoid Hell. If one desires to be with God, even if they may not fully understand what that means or what it entails, God will provide them the grace to succeed. He is continually offering us opportunities to seek union with Him, and does not hesitate to come to us when we call out. Several sources, don’t know them off the top of my head, mention that God comes to us before we even ask. Every saint and sinner is insufficient to enter Heaven. But do you understand why that is the case? We can do nothing without God, including even exist, but the question at the center of the saints’ lives was essentially, why would we want to try to succeed without God? We are called to depend on Him for everything.
I feel like you might benefit from reading He and I, the writings of St. Therese of Lisieux, and similar books on God’s love, particularly in regards to individual people.
