Who would you marry

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dumbseeker

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Would you marry a woman/man who you love or a woman/man who loves you?
 
dumbseeker said:
Would you marry a woman/man who you love or a woman/man who loves you?
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do you mean
  1. they love you, you don’t love them.
    or
  2. you love them, but they don’t love you back…
just wondering. I mean why would they marry you if they don’t love you?
 
Is this a trick question?

If you are contemplating marriage - please seek mutual love.
 
**Well, considering that true, good love is a decision and not a feeling…

I would not marry a man who couldn’t be bothered to decide to love me and wouldn’t marry a man I decided not to love. Why on earth would anyone?**
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**Well, considering that true, good love is a decision and not a feeling…

I would not marry a man who couldn’t be bothered to decide to love me and wouldn’t marry a man I decided not to love. Why on earth would anyone?**
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Right on. More people need to realize that love is not a feeling but a decision and we would have more families staying together.
 
dumbseeker said:
Would you marry a woman/man who you love or a woman/man who loves you?
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without both I would not even consider it. insanity and complete lack of understanding of the nature of marriage to even contemplate it. stand back for the barrage of posts about arranged marriages which will now follow
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
Well, considering that true, good love is a decision and not a feeling…

I would not marry a man who couldn’t be bothered to decide to love me and wouldn’t marry a man I decided not to love. Why on earth would anyone?
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Marry someone who shares your faith and your core beliefs, where you have chosen to love each other, and chosen to love God more.
 
dumbseeker said:
Would you marry a woman/man who you love or a woman/man who loves you?
Click to expand...
Depends if both conditions exist at the same time or not.

If I love someone, I cannot marry someone else. At least so long as I don’t love the other person more.

Therefore, if I love someone who doesn’t love me but will marry me, and at the same time there’s a person who loves me and whom I can marry but whom I don’t love, then I cannot marry the person I don’t love.

If this is just an academic example, either marrying in unrequited love on my side or on my hypothetical wife’s side, then let rather me be the unloved one.

One thing you must know about love being a choice is that you cannot choose to have a feeling. Your choices can affect and even shape your feelings, so it is very much possible that you will fall in love with a person you choose to be with, but you cannot elect to be in love.
 
Okay, well, I married a man I loved. And it turned out he either didn’t really love me, or didn’t know what love was at all.

It was a disaster.

He is incapable of treating people he doesn’t love with kindness.

So that option doesn’t work.

I know myself.

If someone loved me and I didn’t love them, I would still treat them with respect and kindness. So there wouldn’t be much conflict. It might even be happier than what I had before.

And maybe being loved like that by someone who loved me and asked nothing in return would cause me to… love that person in return after all.

But that’s just me.
 
I think it needs to go both ways, too.

Why would you want to marry someone who didn’t love you? Would they give you hugs all the time?

Why would you want to marry someone that you didn’t love? That would just be crazy…yeah, some people grow on you, but do you really want to be stuck with someone you don’t love for the rest of your life? (Now, I am not saying you’re stuck with someone, in a bad way, when you’re married, it just may seem as if it’s bad if you don’t love your spouse or they don’t love you?)
 
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