Who's in charge at church?

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onetruechurch

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Every Friday mass is said by a priest in a wheelchair. A table is set up for him close to the people and altar servers help fetch his books, etc. He is not the pastor but seems to be there frequently on Fridays. Today there was a woman sitting up front with three pre-schoolers. One was an infant. Usually there are no young children at this mass.
Right from the beginning the children were screaming, crying and running around. They were climbing dangerously close to the lit candles and even running up on the altar. There were two female altar servers who just sat in their seats as the children were running all over the areas near the candles, statues, and on the altar. I was sitting near the back and most of the people up front were elderly. The priest never said a word about the children. He could have told the woman that there was an enclosed “crying” room in the back.

Who should have taken charge?
priest?
altar girls?
woman who brought the screamers?
elderly women?
Or…should the pastor have been told to talk to the priest?
 
The priest never said a word about the children. He could have told the woman that there was an enclosed “crying” room in the back.
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I guess the priest *could *have done that, but that really isn’t his function or role when saying mass.

This kind of intervention should be done by the ushers or by the mother of the miscreant toddlers.
 
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Kielbasi:
I guess the priest *could *have done that, but that really isn’t his function or role when saying mass.

This kind of intervention should be done by the ushers or by the mother of the miscreant toddlers.
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There are no ushers at daily mass. The altar girls were supposed to be the helpers but they acted helpless. I would have had a lot more respect for the priest if he had called the altar servers over and directed them to control the children since the woman obviously didn't (or wouldn't).
 
I think it was the mother’s responsibility to control her children. It would have been inappropriate for the priest or the altar girls to intervene, even though the priest could have commented on the situation and used it as a teaching tool. Just think of the opportunity everyone had to offer that disruption to God in atonement for their sins! I hope no one missed it.
 
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onetruechurch:
Who should have taken charge?
priest?
altar girls?
woman who brought the screamers?
elderly women?
Or…should the pastor have been told to talk to the priest?
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The woman who brought them should have taken them out and spanked them.

Since the woman was not up to that, since there were no ushers, someone else at Mass should have asked her to get control of her children, and the priest should have said something to the woman after Mass.
 
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m134e5:
The woman who brought them **should have taken them out and spanked ** them.

Since the woman was not up to that, since there were no ushers, someone else at Mass should have asked her to get control of her children, and the priest should have said something to the woman after Mass.
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I totally disagree with that!! Your comments are definitely not full of charity!
 
It worked for me…I grew up, and I learned to behave in church. I remember being spanked many times- I’m not traumatized by it. I’m not saying they should have been spanked until they couldn’t sit down anymore or anything- just enough to know that what they did was wrong and that there are consequences for it.
 
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m134e5:
The woman who brought them should have taken them out and spanked them.

Since the woman was not up to that, since there were no ushers, someone else at Mass should have asked her to get control of her children, and the priest should have said something to the woman after Mass.
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The fact that a woman is bringing her children to Church during the week is astounding, and I applaud her. While yes she could have done more to control them, I dare say she was trying to concentrate on the Mass and perhaps had an inner problem that you fine people don’t know about.

I can’t believe you’d have a toddler spanked for being a toddler! Honestly, think of the poor mother, if thats how they were when they got to Church, they must have been extremely difficult on the way.

Christ said bring the little Children to Me, I don’t recall there being a clause for “only the nice ones”. A Bishop once told me, he cannot celebrate Mass and feel prayerful without the sound of babies crying.

I ask you sir to think before you type, honestly, if a non-Catholic comes here and reads what you just wrote…

Many Years,
Seraph
 
Okay, everyone the purpose of the thread was not about to spank or not to spank - that is a personal matter.

The subject at hand was what to do about the “Kids Gone Wild”.

Apparently we all see the need for this women to be in Mass! we don’t know her story - maybe her husband just left her and she was there to ask for help.

I don’t think the altar servers are usually old enough to help in this situation. I also don’t think the priest needed to chastize the women during Mass. I think it is better for an elderly women to assist the children than someone around the same age as the parent. I also think it may be appropriate for the priest to ask her if everything was okay after Mass.

Perhaps if this is a soon to be regular attendee, get a bag with some crayons in it. Coloring pages appropriate to the liturgy can be found at www.catholicmom.com (I think that is the site!). Each time you see them make a point to say hello and give them the stuff. Soon the kids will be very eager to attend the Mass because of that “friendly” person who is always there.
 
I am surprised that none of you seemed to be concerned about the children running wild “on the altar”. I’m from the old school and we were taught to respect the altar.
If a mom wants to take her very young children to a restaurant do you think the chef would smile when the children started running wild and ran into his kitchen? Is the chef so desperate that young children start coming to his fancy restaurant that he doesn’t care how disruptive they are?
I have been at church where children would be disruptive in their pews and it was acceptable. My point of even writing this was that never in my life have I ever seen children running all over the altar…nearly tipping over the candles. Is this the new form of liberalism?
 
Personally, I think the woman was so mortified she didn’t dare to act, for fear of creating even more of a disturbance…Granted, it would have been better if she had taken them out, but that would have led to ‘kicking and screaming’ and she may have felt she’d only make things worse if she tried that, especially if she was without her husband. I see nobody offered to help her look after her children…In our church we do that as a matter of course, even if someone is new, we try to help eachother out…but maybe that’s because there are so many young families at our church, it’s more natural. Here it seems like she was a bit of an anomaly. I’m actually quite glad the priest didn’t say anything, that’d be enough to scare the poor dear from coming to church ever again!

Anna x
 
I have a story that many of you can probably identify with, maybe some will agree with.

We went to a Christmas Vigil Mass this year, and as usual it was packed - probably almost 2,000 people attended. Now I am sure you have all experienced this – the noise from babies, small children, etc., was deafening. It was distracting. I realized very quickly this was not going to be the same quiet devotion and worship I normally experience at weekday Mass :bigyikes:.

I found myself thinking about the situation - what would Jesus do? I really wanted to use this as a time to practice being like Christ. If I can’t find the strength to do that at Christmas, at the celebration of the birth of Jesus, when can I?

So I found myself weighing the obvious distractions against the fact that those people are here, in Mass; many families cannot afford or orchestrate having the kids at home, especially infants, at the sacrifice of the family not going to Mass together. It would be very said if a husband and wife could not experience the joy of the Birth of Christ together, wouldn’t it?

Then I remembered something I read a long time ago, that everything that happens in Mass is the will of Jesus - so these distractions are there for a reason - maybe to help people concentrate more, appreciate the liturgy more, think about some of the things I thought about, force us not to get into the Catholic rut we get into (I sit in the same spot, I go to the same Mass, I attend only with a particular Priest, all of which distract form the fact this is about Jesus not our comfort zone!).

So I pondered all that - not exactly sure how I really felt, wanting to be charitable, not sure…

So the Priest starts the homily. He is a very kind, elderly priest, probably 70. He does Daily Mass 2-3 times every week. The first thing he says when he starts his homily is this - “Welcome to all the guests and out of town friends and relatives visiting our Church. I wanted to let everyone know that children of all ages are welcomed, loved and embraced here. God bless us all that we have them.”

So that answered my question - thank you Jesus.
 
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onetruechurch:
Every Friday mass is said by a priest in a wheelchair. A table is set up for him close to the people and altar servers help fetch his books, etc. He is not the pastor but seems to be there frequently on Fridays. Today there was a woman sitting up front with three pre-schoolers. One was an infant. Usually there are no young children at this mass.
Right from the beginning the children were screaming, crying and running around. They were climbing dangerously close to the lit candles and even running up on the altar. There were two female altar servers who just sat in their seats as the children were running all over the areas near the candles, statues, and on the altar. I was sitting near the back and most of the people up front were elderly. The priest never said a word about the children. He could have told the woman that there was an enclosed “crying” room in the back.

Who should have taken charge?
priest?
altar girls?
woman who brought the screamers?
elderly women?
Or…should the pastor have been told to talk to the priest?
Click to expand...
The parent should have controled or removed the children. The priest may have spoken with the pastor after Mass you don’t know. There should always be an Usher who can step in when necessary to insure that the Mass is not disturbed.
 
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onetruechurch:
I am surprised that none of you seemed to be concerned about the children running wild “on the altar”. I’m from the old school and we were taught to respect the altar.
If a mom wants to take her very young children to a restaurant do you think the chef would smile when the children started running wild and ran into his kitchen? Is the chef so desperate that young children start coming to his fancy restaurant that he doesn’t care how disruptive they are?
I have been at church where children would be disruptive in their pews and it was acceptable. My point of even writing this was that never in my life have I ever seen children running all over the altar…nearly tipping over the candles. Is this the new form of liberalism?
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I completely agree with your post. I cannot believe that there seemed a lack of care or concern for the altar in these posts. I would be horrified if I was at Mass and there were kids just allowed to walk all over the altar. It seems nothing is sacred anymore. I come from an area, where, if people just started running across the altar, kids or otherwise, people would look in horror. That is holy ground, that is where the sacrifice of Christ takes place. The believe the Priest would be right to stop them. I’ve known Priests who stopped preaching the homily until children in the pew behaved. I’ve know another Priest who told people to respect the Mass and stop camera flashes or the Mass would not continue. I believe it is their rightful place as a shepherd in the Church to protect and promote the sanctity of hte Mass.

How could anyone just see that and say, “well its not my place, it is the mother’s”

Uncharitable, not my place to do so – call it what you may, but if I was at that Mass I would’ve came out of the pew and done something about it.

I’m sorry but it is stuff like this that makes me want to switch to Eastern Catholicism, something I have been considering for 3 years now. We have lost our minds!
 
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onetruechurch:
I am surprised that none of you seemed to be concerned about the children running wild “on the altar”.
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Because I was sure it was a typo. For the life of me I can’t see how a preschooler could climb upon the altar… it’s much too high.
 
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Timidity:
Because I was sure it was a typo. For the life of me I can’t see how a preschooler could climb upon the altar… it’s much too high.
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Same here 😃

Anna x
 
I bet they meant the sanctuary rather than the altar.
Many people confuse the issue. However, in the case of the children,
hopefully the mother would have taken the initiatiive but I think also in this case anyone in church could help her. Obviously, she may have been perfectly frazzled. We don’t know why she was even in church on a weekday. Maybe she just was given some horrible news that her husband has died, or maybe is missing and she came to church overwhelmed by it all and just needed the comfort of church…and her children while she loves them were just out of her immediate focus during her overwhelming grief.

We don’t know, do we! So anyone who offered her help might have been doing her a great favor by pitching in to help with the kids.

Keep praying! Speak Lord, your servant is listening!
 
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paramedicgirl:
I think it was the mother’s responsibility to control her children. It would have been inappropriate for the priest or the altar girls to intervene, even though the priest could have commented on the situation and used it as a teaching tool. Just think of the opportunity everyone had to offer that disruption to God in atonement for their sins! I hope no one missed it.
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It is always the mothers job to control her children at Mass. God forbid the priest say something it might have scarred the mother for life!:banghead:
 
It seems to me that rather than criticizing, those at Mass could have gently given help to that poor mom…The very fact that she came,and brought her little ones…is astounding…Those present could have helped her out…That would have been the charitable and loving thing to do.
 
Catholic Heart:
It seems to me that rather than criticizing, those at Mass could have gently given help to that poor mom…The very fact that she came,and brought her little ones…is astounding…Those present could have helped her out…That would have been the charitable and loving thing to do.
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I agree.
 
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