Why allow suffering

[SMHW]

Why does God allow good people to be friendless and lonely? to me it makes no sense what so ever.

Whether you are talking about friendship versus loneliness in in the specific --or about suffering in general-- it helps to consider multiple views on the subject.

Those of us who are parents quickly learn that the traits our children possess are double sided. The persistent child who accomplishes all her tasks is also stubborn about having things her own way. The cheerful, easy-going child may be a bit lazy about completing his chores. The child who is naturally sympathetic constantly takes offense from or feels hurt by the actions of others.

But it’s not just personalities that have “positives” and “negatives”. Where there is love, there is the potential for hate. Where there is such a thing as companionship, there is the possibility for loneliness. Where there is the ability to act, there is the possibility of reaction --otherwise known as consequences.

Where there is free will, there is the possibility for sin and suffering. It seems to me that God considers the good that is free will to outweigh the evil of suffering.

It certainly doesn’t make anyone feel better to realize any of this so and :hug3:that things may be better soon.

 

[HeWillProvide]

I don’t want to be disrespectful to God or the Church, I just came back to the church, but the old thoughts are starting to creep back into my mind. For example, basically most people say God allows these things to happen so we’ll grow closer to him, which is basically saying God hurts us so we’ll turn to him. If a person thought the same way then that person would said to be suffering from a mental illness called Münchausen syndrome by proxy. As for redemptive suffering…if man could by saved by suffering than he would have been saved long ago.

We’re the ones who brought pain and suffering into the world. God didn’t. We did. God could’ve been just like, Well, you brought it in, now deal with it. Instead, he is able to allow it to be turned into something that favors us. Like Jesus’ death.

 

[PrayHarder]

Meditate on the Fourth Joyful Mystery for a little while and ask yourself, why did God allow Simeon to spend his entire life in the temple waiting for the Anointed One? Simeon was probably lonely and friendless for much of his life. But in following God’s plan for him, he was probably closer to God than most of us will ever be. Perhaps we shouldn’t think of it as being lonely, but think of it as being able to spend more time with God without distractions.

 

[willis88]

I know i should just live with it, but ok what really brought this one is I met a really nice girl at mass but she broke it off the reason being that although I have a really good job, (I make more than people twice my age with college degrees) but I also support myself and an ailing mother and younger sibling, so she said that she didn’t know if I would be able to support a family. On top of that I don’t have any friends in the city in which I live and work.

 

[Serap]

I know i should just live with it, but ok what really brought this one is I met a really nice girl at mass but she broke it off the reason being that although I have a really good job, (I make more than people twice my age with college degrees) but I also support myself and an ailing mother and younger sibling, so she said that she didn’t know if I would be able to support a family. On top of that I don’t have any friends in the city in which I live and work.

Well I can tell you that she wasn’t worth it anyway. My husband helps care for his ailing mother and we share a house with his mother and his sister and husband. My husband and I are doing just fine financially with 2 kids.

I would be more attracted to a family man like you. Someone who sees family as being important and respecting you and loving you all the more b/c you have strong family values. A man like you would make an excellent committed husband and father.

She’s an idiot IMO!!! Her loss!!!

 

[Norseman82]

I know i should just live with it, but ok what really brought this one is I met a really nice girl at mass but she broke it off the reason being that although I have a really good job, (I make more than people twice my age with college degrees) but I also support myself and an ailing mother and younger sibling, so she said that she didn’t know if I would be able to support a family. On top of that I don’t have any friends in the city in which I live and work.

Well that’s a real kick in the you know where…you would think that would have proven that you have what it takes to step up and take care of someone. Either she needs to let that fact sink in, or she doesn’t have the necessary patience and understanding, and we should all be praying for her future husband (if she ever finds someone).

But back to the original question. One reason that I’ve heard is that God allows suffering is that it is a result of the fall of Adam and Eve.

 

[EasterJoy]

I know i should just live with it, but ok what really brought this one is I met a really nice girl at mass but she broke it off the reason being that although I have a really good job, (I make more than people twice my age with college degrees) but I also support myself and an ailing mother and younger sibling, so she said that she didn’t know if I would be able to support a family. On top of that I don’t have any friends in the city in which I live and work.

The girl did you a service by not leading you on once she realized she was not the wife you are looking for. You are looking for a rare pearl, but once you find her, she will be more than worth the price it will cost to have done it!

I have a friend who is fond of saying, “Don’t marry for money. Hang around rich people, and marry for love!”

You might have more luck if you find a place full of people who are rich in the way you need your friends (and eventually, your wife) to be rich. This girl you lost may not have that kind of riches, but that is neither here nor there. She’s off the table for now. You might want to ask around to see if there is a support group for people who take care of family members, instead. There will be people there to befriend who both value what you are doing and who can be very good listeners about what you are going through.

I would also look at pro-life groups. I think you are more likely to find friends who recognize the richness of where your priorities are.

 

[EasterJoy]

God’s not a very comforting friend, however. He’s like the friend that you used to have a good relationship with but suddenly decides to ignore you. You call your friend to see if he/she wants to get together or hang out, but they never answer the phone and you leave a message. They don’t call you back so you assume that by not calling you back, they are in fact answering with a no. That’s how God works. You pray to him and ask for guidance, but never get any kind of response. You can assume that it’s his will that your intention doesn’t happen, but some kind of, I don’t know, sign could occur to at least let us know God simply isn’t ignoring us like the former friend described above.

Don’t make friends with a fisherman. You might find that their idea of friendship is spending the whole day together, and not saying anything. Well, I take that back. Spend a day with God in the realization that God does not abandon us and that silence is not rejection, and you might be surprised at how comforting it can be.

After all, when God looks at His little ones in this 21st century, and at all the things that we need and don’t have, He cannot but see that silence is something we are very very short on.

 

[willis88]

I hate to say it, i would like to believe but i guess the only conclusion i can come to is the one i thought i had come to three years ago, their is no god

 

[BlueShadow123]

I hate to say it, i would like to believe but i guess the only conclusion i can come to is the one i thought i had come to three years ago, their is no god

Because of suffering in the world? kidding me?
Alright buddy listen up. Every single person was also designed to help others. Every single person in this world is to help others and to help others be happy. Have you ever bought something expensive that you didnt need? Something that was not generic brand?
Guess where the extra money could have went to? It could have went to charity. People do things and spend their money on useless things on a daily basis. They do it so much that they dont even REALIZE what it could be going to! Jesus made his life to serve others and to try to help and make people happy. You think he’d get a paycheck and buy a bunch of things in the mall? Doubtful, hed probably use it to help others! Out of 7 billion humans there is no excuse why we can’t all be living a happy life due to help with one another.

 

[Edward_H]

That the existence of suffering disproves God is like saying the existence of pleasure proves that God exists.

God allows suffering because it presents us enormous opportunity to love (to forget ourselves) and to unite with Him. It gives us a chance to soften our hearts, when others our suffering; it gives us great chances to unite with Him in our sufferings, to turn to Him for help.

 

[willis88]

Because of suffering in the world? kidding me?
Alright buddy listen up. Every single person was also designed to help others. Every single person in this world is to help others and to help others be happy. Have you ever bought something expensive that you didnt need? Something that was not generic brand?
Guess where the extra money could have went to? It could have went to charity. People do things and spend their money on useless things on a daily basis. They do it so much that they dont even REALIZE what it could be going to! Jesus made his life to serve others and to try to help and make people happy. You think he’d get a paycheck and buy a bunch of things in the mall? Doubtful, hed probably use it to help others! Out of 7 billion humans there is no excuse why we can’t all be living a happy life due to help with one another.

Thanks, Mon Ami, but I support myself in one city because thats where my job is at, and a mother and sister in another town, trust me i’m not blowing money. Idk if you read my other posts in this particular thread it might give some insight into why i feel this way, but thank you

 

[BlueShadow123]

That the existence of suffering disproves God is like saying the existence of pleasure proves that God exists.

God allows suffering because it presents us enormous opportunity to love (to forget ourselves) and to unite with Him. It gives us a chance to soften our hearts, when others our suffering; it gives us great chances to unite with Him in our sufferings, to turn to Him for help.

Read my post. We can all help eachother to try to live the best we can but instead we take our money and spend it on ourselves and do what WE want in our own time when we could be helping others. Also, do to the fact that there is free will, there will always be suffering because people make bad choices. Thats life.

 

[willis88]

Read my post. We can all help eachother to try to live the best we can but instead we take our money and spend it on ourselves and do what WE want in our own time when we could be helping others. Also, do to the fact that there is free will, there will always be suffering because people make bad choices. Thats life.

then if god is all loving then why does he allow people to make the bad choices which hust others…thats like letting a child play with a gun, something which I would hope no loving parent would ever do

 

[EasterJoy]

I hate to say it, i would like to believe but i guess the only conclusion i can come to is the one i thought i had come to three years ago, their is no god

You were saved from a bad marriage to someone who does not respect the sacrifices you make for your family, and you think there is no God? I hate to tell you this, but you dodged a bullet, and not one you probably would have had the sense to dodge yourself.

 

[EasterJoy]

then if god is all loving then why does he allow people to make the bad choices which hust others…thats like letting a child play with a gun, something which I would hope no loving parent would ever do

A child cannot learn to walk if you refuse to let her fall. Children cannot learn to be true friends to each other if you are constantly butting in and running their relationships for them, either. You have to let them make their mistakes and then be there for them when the hurts come. Sometimes, that doesn’t mean having answers about life that they’re going to like.

Remember, too, that God sees all of this from the vantage point of eternity. He sees us not how we are in this heartbeat of time, but how he intends us to be in eternity. That is a work of great patience.

A loving parent guides his child, but there gets to be a point when he has to let go.

 

[BlueShadow123]

then if god is all loving then why does he allow people to make the bad choices which hust others…thats like letting a child play with a gun, something which I would hope no loving parent would ever do

It is not just parents, but societies job to get kids in line and teach them right from wrong. God gave us free with and people who are doing wrong, know it is wrong but don’t seem to care. god did not make the suffering, we are the ones choosing to let it happen by our bad choices.

 

[willis88]

You were saved from a bad marriage to someone who does not respect the sacrifices you make for your family, and you think there is no God? I hate to tell you this, but you dodged a bullet, and not one you probably would have had the sense to dodge yourself.

ok, ok, your right, i jsut got discouraged for a few minutes, but it seems to me thats alot of women are put off by me supporting them, even though they don’t even live with me! then their are some who don’t like the fact i’m not college educated…I never did get that because I manage a large and important clothing store in a major city, so I make great money for, and with the long hours I work I don’t really have time to make friends. I know that God isn’t supposed to be some kind of holy vending machine where you put in prayers and stuff comes out, but I wish some of my prayers would be answered sometimes

 

[BlueShadow123]

ok, ok, your right, i jsut got discouraged for a few minutes, but it seems to me thats alot of women are put off by me supporting them, even though they don’t even live with me! then their are some who don’t like the fact i’m not college educated…I never did get that because I manage a large and important clothing store in a major city, so I make great money for, and with the long hours I work I don’t really have time to make friends. I know that God isn’t supposed to be some kind of holy vending machine where you put in prayers and stuff comes out, but I wish some of my prayers would be answered sometimes

If you’re having some problems feel free to PM me and i can try to help you out. Im sorry that these women are doing this. I can tell you that if a guy were to help me out, i would be grateful. :hug1:

 

[EasterJoy]

ok, ok, your right, i jsut got discouraged for a few minutes, but it seems to me thats alot of women are put off by me supporting them, even though they don’t even live with me! then their are some who don’t like the fact i’m not college educated…I never did get that because I manage a large and important clothing store in a major city, so I make great money for, and with the long hours I work I don’t really have time to make friends. I know that God isn’t supposed to be some kind of holy vending machine where you put in prayers and stuff comes out, but I wish some of my prayers would be answered sometimes

We all get discouraged sometimes. I hope I wasn’t too hard on you. That’s the kind of wake-up that works for me, but it isn’t right for everybody.

I think if you look into places where there are women who are care-takers of people like your mother, maybe women who take care of their own parents, you’ll be likely to find a woman of a like mind as you, and one that is not afraid of hard work, either. If not, you’ll at least find friends who are going through what you’re going through. If the group meets through a Catholic care facility, the chances are good that they will be Catholic, too.

Pray to God, but row the boat, too. We have to do both.

Hang in there.