I have committed a very bad sexual sin for most of my life (masturbation, pornography, prostitution) to myself and at times to innocent others. I am deeply sorry for what I have done and repent to my sin. I have asked our lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness. I have not acted out in my sins for over a year but I still have dreams of doing so. I wake up very shameful and I do not understand why I am having these dreams when I now better understand the damage that I have done to myself and my family and to the innocent but why the dreams why do they not go away. It is not every night but for me one is too many. Please pray for me. I love god and I trust in him, I just like to know what is he trying to tell me in the dreams.
You’re right to worry about your dreams – it shows you are being vigilant.
We have seen how every soul — even if burdened with sin (2 Timothy 3:6), enmeshed in vice, ensnared by the allurements of pleasure, a captive in exile, imprisoned in the body caught in mud (Psalms 68:3), fixed in mire, bound to its members, a slave to care, distracted by business, afflicted with sorrow, wandering and straying, filled with anxious forebodings and uneasy suspicions, a stranger in a hostile land (Exodus 2:22), and, according to the Prophet, sharing the defilement of the dead and counted with those who go down into hell (Baruch 3:11) — every soul, I say, standing thus under condemnation and without hope, has the power to turn and find it can not only breathe the fresh air of the hope of pardon and mercy, but also dare to aspire to the nuptials of the Word, not fearing to enter into alliance with God or to bear the sweet yoke of love (Matthew 11:30) with the King of angels.”
Bernard of Clairvaux, On the Song of Songs, Vol. IV Sermon 83
Fr. Cantalamessa on Sin here:
Read about it, understand it, learn the good fight. God bless.
dj