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dramaqueen
Guest
Adam,I guess you could say that, if the sex really is selfish. But is it? I said in an earlier post that I didn’t think it is if it’s for the sake of “pleasuring” your spouse. Why would it be selfish for a man to want to (excuse the graphic language) give his wife an orgasm, or vise versa? If it was purely for the sake of just getting off, a “wham-bam, thank-ya, etc…” kind of sex, then I could call it selfish. But for a couple to want to share an intimate moment, just for the sake of being intimate, with the intention of mutual sexual gratification, I don’t think that’s selfish, and I don’t think it’s wrong. It can’t be wrong.
I’ll be blunt: I am a 27-year-old man, and I am not sexually active. I have enough trouble trying to keep my thoughts in line with a bunch of pictures of beautiful women exposed to me at nearly every waking second. (TV, internet ads, video games, magazines, billboards, bus ads, everything!) Imagine how difficult it would be if I had an actual beautiful woman, in my house, and perfectly willing (and wanting!) for me to touch her! (I say beautiful, because honestly, who marries someone who they don’t find attractive?) I’m not suggesting I want a lifetime of fruitless sex. I want two or three kids.
As (I think) I said before, I don’t want to offend God, I just honestly don’t see what’s wrong sex for fun with one’s spouse. It’s (presumably) a stable, trusting, safe, relationship where two people in love can be perfectly open and intimate with each other in every way–and sexual release should be one of those ways.
(In regards to offending God, I don’t think this does offend Him. Sex with prostitutes? Yeah. Late night porn and masturbation? Yeah. Those things are offensive. It’s purely selfish, and has absolutely nothing approaching love involved. A tender moment between a couple that’s been married 25 years that results in some straight-up sex? How could that be offensive? I think it’s OK for a woman who’s only a couple years away from menopause to be allowed to have sex with her husband without the idea in mind of “remaining open to the possibility of life”. I don’t want to get into a whole debate about whether or not NFP is valid, but it seems to me that waiting for a time of the month when a woman is less fertile is equivalent to waiting to a time of the month when she is less aroused. It doesn’t seem fair to me.)
God Bless you Adam.you make a sound argument and it is perfectly OK for a man to make love to his wife whenever he wants (provided of course it’s what she wants as well) as a way of deepening their love and absolute willingness to participate in God’s greatest creation, however to get closer to God the more you give up what you want (including sex) the more closer you are to Him. God created Humans as sexual beings where sex is part of life, it is sacred act between a husband and a wife for the purpose of extension of love between two people and of course procreation. Remember as long as married couple is willing to bare the consequence (even unwanted ones such as pregnancy) i don’t see how can it be wrong. How can it be sin if you are willing to face with whatever God gives you? you mentioned couple of 25 years well they are allowed to have that moment as well - it is after all a way of showing love for you partner and as long you are not being selfish in you act it should be permissible (I am not theologian this is my humble opinion you should check CCC for more acurate info).
As far as NFP, well i do have my fare share of disagreement with that. Like you I am 27 yrs, a woman (single - so i know what you are going through) but if there is anything i am not it is a Swiss watch. I don’t run perfectly and on time so it is rather presumptions to think i can predict my own body behavior. Then again of all the contraception out there this one is the most natural and aligned with God’s will so God in his infinite wisdom gave us an option nevertheless.
Today world lives on sex because that is what sells (name a product - advertise it with sex and it will sell) We need to step away form that and give sex it’s proper function in the society. It is sacred, it is a way of sharing love between married couple and it has a higher purpose of procreation. I hope that some of it helped because i do know (first hand) how frustrating it can be to want to understand something that you think is common sense, or just understand it period.
PS Bare in mind also that there some questions are never meant to be answered no matter how hard we try (I am still waiting on mine …lol) - maybe they will be answered when we join God in his heavenly kingdom
God bless you abundantly and thank you for posting this topic for i have learned a thing or two form this discussion as well.