Why are gays adopting a bad thing?

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Why is it that no one can ask this question without posing a ridiculous scenario?

Heather, from the famous book heather has two mommies made lots of good points.

There is no good reason to deny a child either a mother or a father when it is completely unnecessary.
 
bitterhope said:
Those are good questions!

It was always hard saying good bye regardless of the circumstance. Some were good–returning to a home that has improved, living with bio relatives. Some went to other foster homes to reunite with siblings, some went to residential centers, two went to juvenile hall, and others aged out of the system. None went from us to adoptive parents. It’s important to realize that the bonding you have is different than with bio siblings and the parenting is different as well. That’s a big reason these kids NEED permanent families. We did grieve, especially with kids that were going into bad situations, but we were always reminded by mom and dad that God called us to foster these kids as part of our prolife mission. Many of the kids kept in contact. Some invited us to weddings. Most came to my dad’s funeral. Some we hadn’t heard from since they left our family showed up to introduce us to their families even. But yes, it is hard on everyone and that is why so many opt not to foster. It’s not pretty but it is life

Honestly, the only foster sibling I can recall that was sexually abused was a boy we had from age 2 until he was 6. When he first came to is I was 12 and he was a mess. He did act out both physically and sexually even being so young. We had to keep him on a strict schedule to help him learn how to work out his frustrations constructively instead of destructively. Lots of therapy and APPROPRIATE affection coupled with discipline instead of punishments helped keep him safe as well as preventing him from hurting others. By the time he was 4 he was a very different boy. Unfortunately he ended up returning to his parents and we’ve never heard from him again. I still worry and pray for him. He was a very brave kid and so strong to deal with such unthinkable things. Most if the kids we had came from physical abuse or neglect. Most had alcoholic and/or drug addicted parents. A couple came after parents died. All had emotional issues to various degrees. All required tons of therapy. I grew up knowing how blessed I was to be born to the family I came from and also knowing how ugly real life can be.

As an adult I had an emergency placement of four siblings. Their mom lost custody and our husbands were deployed. I kept the kids til dad got home. It’s the only time we had foster kids in our home and I don’t regret it one bit. My kids miss them and ask about them. As a family I pray for them. If the opportunity ever comes again I will take it, but military families usually can’t foster. Some of the reasons make sense to me but others are pretty stupid. Emergency situations are handled differently because it helps the social workers place a child with a known person instead of searching for a home or shelter that has room. They can visit the home themselves and approve on the spot for temporary cases. If you have any other questions you can PM me. And thank you for discerning the possibility of fostering/adopting. May God bless you abundantly!
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Thank you for this information–I really appreciate hearing from someone who’s actually been there. 🙂 If I think of any other questions, I’ll PM you!
 
For Catholics, we cannot ignore what the Church tells us:

“As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.”

Ed
 
holyrood said:
Yes, the claim that ‘not allowing gays to adopt would leave children homeless’ absolutely IS false.

It’s been covered upthread, and you yourself acknowledge, that there are numerous problems with the SYSTEM itself. This is not about a lack of heterosexual married couples wanting to adopt.

The US Census found that less than 1% of households are gay couples. There are many reasons I would guess that a lower ratio of gay couples are seeking to adopt children. So, I"m sorry, but no, there is no way that 1% or fewer are the ONLY thing standing between children and homelessness.

We might consider, too, that those who claim to care so much about children were willing to shut down Catholic adoption agencies–in other words, give children to two gay men, or we’ll shut you down and hurt ALL the children you could have been helping. Never mind that other agencies were willing to place children with gay couples. Obviously, there’s more concern out there about the gay agenda than about the children themselves.
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Were the Catholic adoption agencies shut down or did the Catholic adoption agencies shut themselves down?
 
St_Pancake said:
Were the Catholic adoption agencies shut down or did the Catholic adoption agencies shut themselves down?
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Of course the latter, but the rules imposed by the State on what can and cannot be considered in assessing adoption placement options made that necessary and inevitable. This renders the distinction highlighted by your question wafer thin.
 
Rau said:
Of course the latter, but the rules imposed by the State on what can and cannot be considered in assessing adoption placement options made that necessary and inevitable. This renders the distinction highlighted by your question wafer thin.
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I was just asking a question. No need to get your boxers in a bunch
 
bitterhope said:
Yep. Gay marriage isn’t real marriage. I agree. It is corrupting society and people stand back and allow it to occur. IVF and other fertility treatments are as much if not more to blame for the adoption/foster care system being so screwed up. People think they have a right to have their own biological child and then if all else fails, maybe they might consider adopting. Surrogate mothers and sperm donation paved the way for gay parents and gay marriage to begin with. It’s a societal problem and a major failure on society’s part. Still these kids need homes. They need love. They need family, even imperfect family is better than none. How can we allow society to become so evil? And still we find ways to punish the most vulnerable for our failures? It really makes no sense. I wish each and every person that wanted to prevent gay parents and single parents from adopting would sign up to adopt or at least to foster kids themselves. That would prevent there being a need for more families for these kids. Even people that don’t qualify to adopt or foster long term can be approved as emergency placement homes. It won’t fix things overnight but it is working towards a real solution.
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Have you personally signed up to be a foster child provider? Are you on the list for adoption?
 
St_Pancake said:
I was just asking a question. No need to get your boxers in a bunch
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Rau was hardly getting any boxers in a bunch.

My understanding was that they were forced to shut down by being told they MUST do something against their conscience and faith if they stayed open. Agreed with Rau, that becomes a game of semantics…the difference between being told either you can quit or you can stay and be fired. Either way, someone else is really making the decision for you.
 
JimG said:
It is not right to deliberately deprive a child of either a mother or a father. It may happen through death or divorce, but to deliberately inflict this privation on a child is wrong. In fact, Catholic adoption agencies have had to close their doors rather than be forced to place children with same sex couples. It is considered to be placing them in a disordered living situation and cannot be allowed.
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I know a gay couple who adopted kids and they turned out just fine from what I remember.
 
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