Why are people leaving the church

[chicago]

I think the best way to stop the slide, if it’s possible, is to offer Mass more frequently at convenient times. Many people do not want to wake early on Sunday or want to have a nice brunch instead of going to Church. Having an evening or even night mass on Sunday might help that situation. And move daily mass to the evening when people can get to it who work during the day a couple times a week might help. Also, maybe have some concerts and other get togethers in the Church once a quarter or so. My Episcopal Church does manage to get people in to hear Bach and Handel (both of whom wrote religious music) played by a local orchestra every few months. It brings in people from the community and earns a little for the parish as well.

At last, some creative thinking rather than same ol pablum on these issues.

And yes, the preaching in most Catholic (and unfortunately Episcopal as well) is lamentable. To be honest it isn’t often offensive or dreadful --it’s just usually mediocre and boring.

I’ll take it one further. What the Church needs to do a better job of is connecting with it’s audience. You really do have to meet people where they are in their own lives. Talk about the issues that matter to them in a very practical sense.

Your husband is a pain in the patootie? Financial debt has you down? The co-worker is difficult to deal with? Often, I think that all the Church is offering is simplistic solutions which people don’t identify with well. Nor do we manage to appreciate where people are with their busy lives and all in the contemporary culture and what kind of outreaches may or may not work. Then all the nice people at Church sit around and scratch their heads wondering why no one comes to their special programs. Really, if the Church were a business or an entertainment operation, it would close down after three days, so poorly do we connect.

 

[chicago]

Partly it was disillusionment at discovering the church was full of human beings and my false expectation that only perfect people would be in church.

That’s another signifigant problem and misconception. That Church is only for the particularly pious.

 

[chicago]

I think the reason why many college-age students leave the faith (as this is all I’m really familiar with) is that many of them find it as a sort of rebellion against what they were raised in.

As many others said, they were poorly trained. I have only met three people who know the most basic of beliefs outside of what they hear repeated during Mass. Not that they should be able to recite encyclicals verbatim, but when I ask them things like what the magisterium is, I expect a reasonable answer.

A more signifigant problem is that even if they were well trained as children, it may have not sunk in very far. Or adult life hits and they haven’t been assisted in making the faith their own, understandable in a way that only an adult can appreciate after dealing with the struggles of suffering.

 

[mlchance]

Really, if the Church were a business or an entertainment operation, it would close down after three days, so poorly do we connect.

The Church isn’t a business or an entertainment operation. Catholics attending Mass don’t need to be entertained or catered to with easier hours. How ridiculous! Anybody who wants to make God the priority in his life can find time for Mass either Saturday evening or Sunday morning.

And how could Mass not be more engrossing? During the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the Lord Himself comes to the altar in order to share Himself with the faithful.

I am amazed that someone would come into a thread about how to help people not leave the Church and then cite examples of how the Episcopal Church does things. The Episcopal Church is dying precisely because it treats worship like the entertainment business: Give the people what they want rather than what God knows they need.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[JLM316]

The Church isn’t a business or an entertainment operation…

I guess I am not hearing the most important reason why people leave the church - or at least why I attend service at two churchs - mass and then at another church where I feel my need for spiritual refreshment is being fed ( and I don’t mean literally).

Alot of folks (and I am not generalizing to all) go to a different kind of church not really to be entertain but because we are convicted by faith and want desparately to be touched by God in a powerful and compelling way - -ie: we all need a good sermon which convicts us inside each week, kicks us in the pants, and touches a nerve, and spirited worship where mostly everyone sings (I can’t sing a note - so I lipsync - but still I try) and more emphasis on personal conviction and conversion - on being born again (I know catholics define born again as baptism) but the idea is the same . and we need not just words - we need opportunities and encouragement to create more opportunities to serve God. Worship is not just a service or a mass, it is an entire life of faith - and it begins with a seed that needs to be fed - FED is the word. Where are we being fed - and I don’t mean literally (ie: the eucharist - though I know God does feed us in this way ) I mean FED in terms of satisfying a need to be learn more about God through His Word - the Bible and through each other (In small groups and bible studies)- we want personal contact with other believers - we want someone to tell us to get off our you-know-what and turn to God and by this God (not ourselves) helps us get our lives in order. people need simple down to earth preaching telling them to "repent and turn to God so that your sins will be wiped away, so that the Lord can grant us times of refreshing " there were the powerful words uttered by St. Peter 's first sermon as recorded by St Luke in Acts 3:19. That message should be repeated every sunday - repent - turn to God - so that your sins will be wiped away. We need to hear it that again and again every week - if its not being heard at mass, and we have an inner need to hear it because of a personal conversion to Christ because we feel and know inside that He died for us - then we go elsewhere to hear it. . For me a major convicting point was when I saw the Passion of the Christ two years ago- and watched Jesus fall under the wieght of the cross, I cried my eyes out in the theater and often still have tears in my eyes whenever I think of it - we need to think of that - each week at Mass - and be told it over and over again - that Jesus died for us -each of us - and make it personal,. and He wants our friendship - He wants us to lay in his lap (so to speak) and trust Him with our lives - to give ourselves for Him. thats why people leave the church - because they are convicted inside and need to hear this message in a strong and powerful and less formal way - they need God in thier lives. Yes the catholic church has it - of course. but where are the bible studies, and small groups the folks carrying bibles the church, the folks wanting to serve - the only studies at my catholic parish are for seniors and women. the mens group meets once a month - and its mostly older men. everything else is geered towards children. Sunday school is not just for children. it should be available for folks of all ages to help us learn our faith. we need all of these things - the problem is I know - priests are overwelmed and stressed out because parishes are so big and no one wants to do anyhing - so preach to them - and then encourage groups to form to help out in the various ministries of the church and create more of them led by lay people - give us a fishing pole, rather than a fish - and then our church will be so vibrant and furfilling that people won’t look else where. If I found a parish that did that - that had a revival of faith beginning with the fundamentals and big numbers of people got involved in it, I would be a part of it, and would not look beyond the Catholic church.

 

[ComradeAndrei]

I’ll take it one further. What the Church needs to do a better job of is connecting with it’s audience. You really do have to meet people where they are in their own lives. Talk about the issues that matter to them in a very practical sense.

That is part of the problem-the Church isn’t a self-help group offering psychobabble solutions to our selfish little problems. People need to get over themselves, only then will they be able to deal with their problems.

Really, if the Church were a business or an entertainment operation, it would close down after three days, so poorly do we connect.

Like the Pope says, if you come to Mass to be entertained, you come for the wrong reason.

I think the best way to stop the slide, if it’s possible, is to offer Mass more frequently at convenient times.

In my little home town (that has a little over 1000 people) we had Mass (for Sunday obligation) at 5:00 on Saturday, 8:00 on Sunday morning and then at 10:30 at a close-by country parish that was served by the same priest. At any decent sized town that I’ve been to, Mass is usually said between 6:00AM and 5ish PM on Sunday plus Saturday evening and I really think that this is all too much. What more could you possibly want?

Many people do not want to wake early on Sunday or want to have a nice brunch instead of going to Church.

Brunch is more important than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass? All it is is breakfast w/ mellon. Sleeping in is more important than the Re-presentation of Christ’s Sacrifice on Cavalry? Those folks need to get their priorities straight.

 

[ComradeAndrei]

Alot of folks (and I am not generalizing to all) go to a different kind of church not really to be entertain but because we are convicted by faith and want desparately to be touched by God in a powerful and compelling way - -ie: we all need a good sermon which convicts us inside each week, kicks us in the pants, and touches a nerve, and spirited worship where mostly everyone sings (I can’t sing a note - so I lipsync - but still I try) and more emphasis on personal conviction and conversion - on being born again (I know catholics define born again as baptism) but the idea is the same .

Seeking after than “spiritual high” will just lead one to have their faith dashed on the rocks of spiritual dryness. A good sermon is nice, but not necessary in any way.

We need to gain back our traditions, and a sense of the sacred. This is where people lost their faith, when avant guarde theologians start feeding us on their ego trip doctrines and trying to break down the traditions as so much superstition or “mere externals” for the weak minded. We need more “smells and bells” not more “spirited worship”. We don’t need to protestantize the Church any further than some already have done.

 

[Pug]

any decent sized town that I’ve been to, Mass is usually said between 6:00AM and 5ish PM on Sunday plus Saturday evening

I’d love it if any of the parishes near me had mass on Sunday evening. Well, *one *does, but in a foreign language only. So, if desperate, that’s where one goes. I am concerned most Catholics would choose to skip rather than go there. Of course, one could drive to the cathedral, but that is implausible for me personally, so it strikes home.

There are 5 parishes within driving distance for me, so I don’t live in the hinterlands.

 

[cthemfly25]

I like this quote from Chesterton: “Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.” We have all been called and many of us throughout our lives, or at certain points in our lives, have not heeded the call. The Church has always been there for us, and will be there for us. Sometimes we have left her and not realized that we have; such is the nature of sin. Sin just seems so “rational.” But in the end, it is up to each of us to live our Faith in the Church and pray for the return of those who leave.

 

[a_priori]

Why are people leaving the church? What can we do to stop this? This is rather worisome to me. Thanks and God bless.

I have to go with St. Paul on this one:

“The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths” 2 Timothy 4:3-4

 

[Daniel_Marsh]

How many people in your church do you have on going relationships with? Not just your family members I mean.

I think, many people change churches based on relationships.

When someone marries someone of another demonation, one ususally leaves their church for their spouses’s church.

Young adults hang out with other young adults and some leave the church to be with their friends.

 

[cheese_sdc]

nevermind

 

[dessert]

I left the church because I thought I was bored and also I was taught to obey the priest but interpreted it as obeying men so when my furure husband came along I figured I had to do what he said and he seemed more like fun instead of all these dos and don’ts. I was not very grounded in the whys of the catholic faith and the church. If I had married into my faith it would have been better but my husband has been true to me and loyal and he knows I have come back and he is ok with it so ffar.I also regret and ask God’s forgiveness for not bringing our children into the catholic faith but as I have returned some of my family has sstarted to come back too and even my husband says he might come to. Soooo all who are listening don’t do what I did do what the God of our church says it is better but we still do have a free will and I misinterpretted thaat to thinking I could do what everrrrrr. I was in other religions and they sucked me dry left me in a dessert I was blinded till I came back to the real faith. tThe catholic church is not the cult, the world is just like the commercials are they try to get you to try everything and take everything away from you. Like truth and honesty your virtues and innocence oh yeah and your money and Jesus says give to the poor and He gives us structure to pray and the others churches says do what you feel He says obey my word and I will be in you and you will be in the FATHER. Our God has an alternative answer to the world if I listen. I think I might write a book sometime on my 40 years in the dessert but right now it is wonderfull to talk with and know that there are others with problems to and I lift you all up to the Lord in prayer love inCHRIST
dessert ,return from

JESUS IS THE BREAD OF LIFE AND MY DELIVERER AND THE CUP OF MY SALVATION

 

[Church_Militant]

[SIGN]Well said dessert! [/SIGN]

 

[chicago]

The Church isn’t a business or an entertainment operation.

No, it’s not. But we can learn some important things from those areas. Namely, that we need to do a better job of addressing people’s needs and connecting with them where they are in life. If we fail at that, they will feel that the Church has no relevance to them and can not help them any. And they will leave.

Catholics attending Mass don’t need to be entertained or catered to with easier hours.

Well, I disagree. Now maybe by “entertained” you think that I mean mere amusement. No, I mean engagement that draws one into a form of relationship with God and those around them.

And what’s wrong with making things easier for people by offering Mass at a time which they feel comfortable with?

How ridiculous! Anybody who wants to make God the priority in his life can find time for Mass either Saturday evening or Sunday morning.

True. But you’re assuming that they are already at this point. They may not be.

And how could Mass not be more engrossing? During the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the Lord Himself comes to the altar in order to share Himself with the faithful.

Yes, but again, you’re at that level. A lot of people aren’t. And we have to address the other very human aspects of life, Another poster stated:

A good sermon is nice, but not necessary in any way.

Well, yes and no. Is it necessary for a valid Mass? No. But is it essential to nourish the human body and soul in living out everyday life? Most certainly. When you fail to connect with your audience and bring them in further to the mystery that you have to share, they’ll walk out of the show and look for something better!

 

[chicago]

Brunch is more important than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass? All it is is breakfast w/ mellon. Sleeping in is more important than the Re-presentation of Christ’s Sacrifice on Cavalry? Those folks need to get their priorities straight.

Of course, it’s not more important. But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to go to Sunday brunch, either. Indeed, it is yet another way of honoring the Lord’s Day. So if the Church can accomodate that for people, why is doing so a bad thing?

 

[Pug]

Anybody who wants to make God the priority in his life can find time for Mass either Saturday evening or Sunday morning.

This is just not true, at least not at what seems to be a reasonable level. Maybe my family is rare. In my family most weeks of the year it can be done, but not all.

There are some people who work on Sunday because certain things must be done on Sunday. People still die on Sunday and need certain things. It has already happened twice this year in my family that the Sunday evening mass was needed, either that or don’t go.

I’m not talking breakfast in bed. I’m talking family obligations (not sports!) and work. Period.

 

[ferdie]

Most people leave the church because of poor knowledge in the teaching of the church. And a lot of catholics are too lazy to study their faith and would not even attend adult catechism even when their parishes invite them.
Every Sunday at the end of each mass the priest or deacon makes announcement which usually takes about a minute or two. Maybe after the homily or during the announcement the church can do a 3 min lesson on the history of the church, or maybe a little explanation of the catholic doctrines, or maybe a comparison of what we believe as opposed to the beliefs of the n-catholics. This way church goers will be forced to understand their faith. Who knows they maybe intrigue and start reaserching what they hear during that 3 min lesson. Just a thought.

 

[auhsoj88]

Our Protestant brothers do a better job at marketing their gospels. Truth does not matter any more, its what feels good that matters!

Protestants have changed the meaning of “religion” as if its something bad and man made. On my drive to work there is a giant billboard that reads “New Life Celebration Church”, “Its not a Religion its a Relationship”.

Who do you thing this board is directed to???

When a person goes there for the first time everyone is made aware by the minister…everything they can do to make you feel warm in fuzzy is the trick; a little coffee and donuts, some potlucks, some entertainment by the band here and there. An XCatholic told me he gets “filled” at this church.

Truth does not matter anymore…

In Christ!

 

[Vidi_Aquam]

Why are people leaving the church? What can we do to stop this? This is rather worisome to me. Thanks and God bless.

Probably because of certain priests.

When you have a priest who teaches things that makes baby Jesus cry and the Pope bust a nerve than you have a problem.

We need more orthodox priests, and more orthodox masses.