Why are people leaving the church

[chicago]

On my drive to work there is a giant billboard that reads “New Life Celebration Church”, “Its not a Religion its a Relationship”.

Who do you thing this board is directed to???

Interestingly enough, in his post synodal exhortation on the Church in America, Pope John Paul II expressed precisely the idea that the Church needs to focus more on making religion about relationship with Christ in order for people to grow in the faith. During his visit to Mexico to issue the document, he repeatedly and insistently used the word “encounter”.

 

[InLight247]

… each week at Mass - and be told it over and over again - that Jesus died for us -each of us - and make it personal…If I found a parish that did that - that had a revival of faith beginning with the fundamentals and big numbers of people got involved in it, I would be a part of it, and would not look beyond the Catholic church.

Actually, Mass, the re-presentation of the Last Supper, is the most concrete way to tell us the true story of Passion over and over again.

The problem could be either we don’t really understand the meaning of Mass, or we are so used to it and take Mass as a formality instead of keeping on being touched with the true meaning.

That’s why our daily prayers, our meditation, our spiritual exercise, our Bible reading, and our efforts of Eucharist Adoration are all so important.

Saying Rosary or Saint Bridget’s prayer, for example, can truly help us recollect the life of Jesus. The twenty decades of Rosary is a complete life story of Jesus. The Saint Bridget’s prayer helps us experience the details of His Passion in a very intensive way.
Spending one hour each day in front of the Eucharist, one will definitely be transformed gradually.

When we keep on doing these things, we will unavoidably build a deep relationship with Jesus. When we feel so much in love with Jesus, we will naturally pay closer attention in Mass. When we whole heartedly participate in Mass, we are actually being reminded of Christ’s Passion over and over again. In experiencing the richness, the True Presence, the authentic meaning of the Mass, we will never want to leave the Church.

The Mass has all the fundmentals and always has big number of people got involved in it. What we need is to start with each of us, to make more personal efforts of our own.

 

[Montalban]

Why are people leaving the church?

The Mass is ended go in peace.

What can we do to stop this?

Lock the doors

 

[Church_Militant]

solacristos:

Here are just some of the reasons. If you need more, subscribe
to the tracker and you will get new reasons every day. Here are todays reasons:ncrnews.org/abuse/

This is actually pretty hypocritical in view of the facts, and even more so in view of the News from Washington D.C. today about a member of congress who has resigned.

As I have said before, I am not seeing many people leaving the church and in fact I am seeing more come into the faith every year and the number coming in outnumbers the ones supposedly leaving.

Most who leave, do so because they are decieved by well intentioned Bible thumping n-Cs who prefer to steal sheep than to evangelize the unbelieving and unchurched the way the Catholic Church does. These deceptions would not be possible if these Catholics actually knew their faith and lived it.

The fishers of men, like the Militia Immaculata are quietly using every means possible to spread the Gospel. Being one of them myself, I know.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum,

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I think that every diocese (could even say every parish) has a story to tell.

I’ve heard that some parishes are booming down South, and that in the Northeast they’ve been melting away (consolidations, closing of parishes I have definitely seen in the last 15-20 years in New York, MA, PA ; and VT which has an ‘elderly’ priest average age has several plans ready for when the current incumbents of parishes can no longer serve). You have to look at all sorts of factors.

Say for example you had a fairly largish city town in an area with historically a high Catholic population. . .and then the town’s big economy may have started to slip in the 50s, the ‘boomers’ after the 70s started to leave town, and even the little ‘boomlet’ of the 90s is starting to trickle away from those who stayed in town. . .you may have had in the 1960s 5 different largish parishes where you may have had upwards of 2000 people at Mass at 8 and 11 a.m. on a Sunday.

Fast forward 40 years. A lot of the people from the 60s have died, or have left town. A lot of ‘cultural’ Catholics have become anything from athetists/ agnostics to ‘other denom’ to ‘spiritual but not religious’ to ‘CINO’. At least one of the parishes has had to close. The others get the majority (and a much smaller one) at the Saturday vigil Mass, or perhaps with what we’re heard referred to as the “Christmas Elves and the Easter Bunnies”. The people you’ve grown up with even if they CALL themselves Catholic seem to have HUGE disagreements with Catholic teachings in all areas, and proudly state that they “follow their conscience” and don’t act like ‘sheep’ or those IGNORANT ‘idolators’. After all, Vatican II ‘changed’ everything. In this town, people hearing that “there are more and more Catholics coming into the church” would be quite puzzled. That certainly is not THEIR experience.

Meanwhile, in another town, there’s a whole DIFFERENT story. In this town, maybe in the 1960s there was a much smaller proportion of Catholics. But as time went on, more and more arrived. Churches were built. Community in the best sense grew even more ‘Catholic’. Vocations are booming, there is a huge felt PRESENCE; there must likely (but not necessarily) is a ‘smells and bells’ to the church and congregations. In THIS town, a person hearing that “Catholics are leaving the church in droves” would be quite puzzled; that certainly is not HIS experience.

 

[Julianna]

DrRevNorth…struck a chord…especially here in the south…

*III) No fellowship. I was shocked coming from a Protestant church where people got together and socialized over coffee after church. In many Protestant communities that sense of community is built by many opportunites for fellowship (events, dinners, prayer groups, service groups and so on).

Where I live now, and previously when I lived in Charleston, SC…the Baptist Churches would empty out, and you could find a whole slew of them having brunch at the Golden Corral, Quincy’s or any self serve food place. No alcohol is served, ever, and there is no smoking and the ice tea over floweth. Growing up Catholic, everyone went home, and we drove to Springfield (MA) to have dinner with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, none of which went to the same parish. At my southern grandmothers Baptist church, there were many bible studies in each other homes, ladies only, young couples, teen bible study, senior bible study, and whatever stage you were in life…new parents, menapausel (sp), there was a bible study in someones home every night of the week. Wednesday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night, her church was packed out. On Sundays in MA, we had a teen mass at the catechism building, the teens played and choregraphed the music. When I moved south, that was not done. Also, Baptist Church ran from about 10 am until just about 1:00. At the Catholic church, exactly precisly one hour.

V) No Bible Study - Protestants have bible study on Sundays for all ages including numerous adult groups where they get deep in the Word of God. This is improtant. I have met two different couples at a Southern Baptist Church who were in bibel study but did not attend service because they were Catholic (went to mass) and then came to bible study. If you do not capture people like that you will lose them.

My sister attends a bible study with a group of protestant ladies once a week. In SC different masses are offered, the Sat mass at 5:00, Sunday at 7:00, 9:15, 11:00 and at 6:00 PM on Sunday night. 7:00 am was mostly for the seniors, 9:15 was families, lots of kids, noisy and crowded, 11:00 was for the late risers…and my fav…6:00 at night on Sunday. I attended with my confirmation candidates, wore my jeans and melted into the mass…I liked leaving mass at night…just a preference. Sat mass was for the people who had other plans on Sunday.
Baptist churches, also have greeters, and a committee who comes out to visit you and invites you and your family to various potluck dinners (I never remember a potluck dinner growing up in the catholic church)…or field trips for the youth, they had busses and went on trips during the summer. I don’t recall that ever happening when I was a teen at the catholic church.

I do think what keeps them going “is” the socialization. People want to feel a connection to each other. The church can be mega, but there are different pastors for each group…youth pastor…senior pastor…pastor of Bible study…music…whatever the congregation has a need for. Truth is there just aren’t enough priests to go around to handle that.

A youth pastor invited my 20 something daughter and her boyfriend to group…they went and had a good time. The next day, he came to our door (my DH and I were at work) and thanked her for coming, and hoped he would see her again. He gave her a mug, with the churches name on it and can of Soup, with bible verses on it. He and his family live 2 doors down. He has not been by since,…we wave at each other and speak briefly and he doesn’t ask where my daughter is. I can live with that. Some evangels…pester the mess out of you.

So there you have my take. It’s fellowship and community. That is why there is handholding, shaking hands, talking and clapping, people want to be a “part” of what is going on as a group. Sometimes it feels like you are watching a play with the priest, cantors and lectors on the stage. This is my opinion…so go easy on me.*

 

[solacristos]

oops made a mistake

 

[solacristos]

Here are just some of the reasons. If you need more, subscribe
to the tracker and you will get new reasons every day. Here are todays reasons:ncrnews.org/abuse/

Here is a real world reason! Please read the story and comment:crusadeagainstclergyabuse.com/
Who is going to save our Church? Not our bishops, not our priests and religious. It is up to you, the people. You have the minds, the eyes, the ears to save the Church. Your mission is to see that your priests act like priests, your bishops, like bishops, and your religious act like religious.”

----Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen,
before the Knights of Columbus, June 1972

 

[Church_Militant]

Nice agenda driven posting there SC! Weren’t you on here before under a similar name?

You make a pitiful point and as the link I posted shows, (as well as the news today!) this is not something unique to the Catholic Church and rational people realize that.

In fact… yours is precisely the kind of propaganda that I have seen many a-Cs try to use steal sheep from our faith. It’s dishonest, agenda-driven, and hypocritical because while the Catholic Church has indeed taken action to halt and prevent this in the future, while still dealing with the immediate problem, as the link that I provided shows, most n-C churches have not done so.

This is not why most Catholics leave the faith. Those who generally join other a-C fundamentalist groups are those who don’t have a clue as to why the church teaches what it does and are dumb enough to follow someone who comes along quoting a handful memorized scriptures and waving a Bible in their face while asking them stupid questions that are tied to the new winds of doctrine that began blowing through Christianity some 500 years ago.

It took me over 30 years to get there but when I finally examined what all parties concerned really taught and why, I realized that in spite of all the hype and propaganda to the contrary, the Catholic Church really is the original New Testament Christian church and **that’s ** why I am Catholic…now and forever.

So go ply that propaganda on some folks who’re dumb enough to believe it.
It won’t wash here…
BTW, Bishop Sheen is quite correct…you, however, are not.
Have a Nce Day.

 

[InLight247]

III) No fellowship. I was shocked coming from a Protestant church where people got together and socialized over coffee after church. In many Protestant communities that sense of community is built by many opportunites for fellowship (events, dinners, prayer groups, service groups and so on).
…
It’s fellowship and community. That is why there is handholding, shaking hands, talking and clapping, people want to be a “part” of what is going on as a group. Sometimes it feels like you are watching a play with the priest, cantors and lectors on the stage. This is my opinion…so go easy on me.

I have to agree with your there.
For many many years I felt very very lonely. Each Sunday we go to Mass, we go home. We hardly know anyone in the Parish.

Then I thought about reaching out. So I taught CCD. However, after teaching two years, I still hardly know anyone. The parents drop the kids, pick up the kids. Even they talked to me, We were not friends. But getting involved at least gave me a sense of participation.

Without fellowship from the Church, I turned to fellowship with Jesus and with different authors of spirituality books, as well as testimony stories. Doing so actually deepened my relationship with God. The lonely road of solitude forced me to form a habit of constant praying and reading. But it was not easy, and not everyone will turn to this direction due to lack of fellowship.

Then I re-start to teach CCD class, also get myself involved with different groups of the Church. The sense of loneliness finally gets a little bit better.

I truly hope we Catholics can do better in the area of fellowship.
Wouldn’t it be great if we may build warm fellowship on top of our authentic faith and rich liturgy? What can we do to make it happen?

 

[Julianna]

I have to agree with your there.
For many many years I felt very very lonely. Each Sunday we went to Mass, we went home. We hardly know anyone in the Parish.

Then I thought about reaching out. So I taught CCD. However, after teaching two years, I still hardly know anyone. The parents drop the kids, pick up the kids. Even they talked to me, We were not friends. But getting involved at least gave me a sense of participation.

Without fellowship from the Church, I turned to fellowship with Jesus and with different authors of spirituality books, as well as testimony stories. Doing so actually deepened my relationship with God. The lonely road of solitude forced me to form a habit of constant praying and reading. But it was not easy, and not everyone will turn to this direction due to lack of fellowship.

Then I re-start to teach CCD class, also get myself involved with different groups of the Church. The sense of loneliness finally gets a little bit better.

I truly hope we Catholics can do better in the area of fellowship.
Wouldn’t it be great if we may build warm fellowship on top of our authentic faith and rich liturgy? What can we do to make it happen?

I taught CCD for several years, and it was just as you said, the parents drop them off, and pick them up. There were some parents I never met. When we moved our classes over to the parish hall on Sunday evenings at 4:30…some of the kids knew that I would be attending the 6:00 mass. At first one or two would come, then we would all fill up a pew. I usually had my daughter with me, she was about 4 at the time. I later found out, that going to mass with me was the only way they would get to go. The only reason the came to catechism is because their parents MADE them go. How sad. I never FORCED my kids to go to church…neither did I guilt them into going. They both attended catholic school, until we could no longer afford it…they had mass at school, and they went to church with me, if they wanted to go. It has to be something that you want in your heart. Why go if you are going to look at your watch the whole time, and just mutter the words without feeling it? My heart broke for these kids. I was glad we moved the class to the parish hall, because all the public school catechism classes were accused of stealing things from the catholic school kids desks. In one classroom at the catholic school, a catholic school teacher put signs all over the place, DO NOT TOUCH, DO NOT WRITE ON BOARD

 

[solacristos]

Church militant I hate to tell you but I am A JESUIT PRIEST.

 

[Julianna]

Yes, it can be lonely. If you asked me what the other CCD teachers names are, I couldn’t tell you. The turnover was very high. There was no getting together for coffee afterwards. They all had (just as I did) little ones at home, homework to get to, baths, bedtime stories & prayers…,there wasn’t anytime to make friends or have coffee. We did have catechist training, once about every 6 months, and it was like pulling teeth to get people to come. After reading the posts on this, I am beginning to wonder, if it just got to be too mundane, same 'ol, same 'ol, year after year.

Is fellowship just not a catholic thing? Is mass just for the individual? I know most people could follow the entire mass with their eyes closed standing in their living room. I know there were some who complained about the “chatter” before mass starts, but in the church I attended, we would greet each other as we came in the door. Not meaning to be rude, but charitable. Having grown up in the catholic church, and going to the Baptist church off and on with my mom…it was easy for me to accept the “hello, Juli, how are you doing…?..I see you have your little ones…?” then we would go sit down. I did observe that in the Baptist church
so the transition was nothing to me.

 

[santaro75]

Some of the people have mentioned this already, but I would like to place far more emphasis on this truth. I believe that number one reasone by leaps and bounds as to why most people who leave the church is poor very poor Catechetical programs in the vast majority of dioceses in this country. I come from a family of seven, I and one of the brothers were entagled in the new age school of thought, he still is entagled in new age. The other five siblings are now Protestants, two of them fundmentalist protestants who basically believe the Catholic church is an apostate church. Too many Bishops in this country who have not followed the whole complete church teachings, too many Catholic publishers of Catetchitacal which are not true to the faith.

I agree that the catechesis is horrible at best in the four diocese i have been a part of in the past three years.

The million dollar question is…what to do about it?

i know that i should start something but

1. I have a full time job
2. I am not qualified to teach such things

i believe it is up to the church to train and pay for people to do this. it is the very future of the church

 

[santaro75]

\

II) I remember a Lutheran youth group that attended various local churches. One of the things they noticed after and remarked to their Director of Religious Education was that the Priest seemed gay. Many Protestant think Catholic clergy are gay or pedophiles. The Bing Corsby thing is gone.

North

There is a high percentage of Gay catholic priests. I know this for a fact and was surprised by this when i came back.
What gives?

 

[Church_Militant]

Church militant I hate to tell you but I am A JESUIT PRIEST.

Then don’t post like an anti-Catholic.

To follow the advice of the holy bishop that you quoted…I would expect you to answer the OPs question with something helpful instead of the same trash that we get from every a-C running dog that comes in here.

So tell us Fr. SC S.J. What is the answer? When people assert that people are leaving our most holy faith over just this issue? (Which I will not concede is the primary cause)

I disagree. Offer us good counsel and …as the saying goes…“Lead, follow, or get the hell outta the way!” With all due respect, (if you are a Jesuit, since we have no way to verify that…) I offer that.

Your quote from Bishop Sheen is precisely what I expect.
“Priest act like a priest”
Pax tecum,

P.S. St. Ignatius Loyola is one of my heroes of faith and his Anima Christi, one of my most beloved prayers.

 

[Church_Militant]

There is a high percentage of Gay catholic priests. I know this for a fact and was surprised by this when i came back.
What gives?

Got statistics and facts to back that up? I don’t think you do, which makes it anything but a fact. I have known many priests over the course of my life and not one…not one was gay. I think this is rhetorical equine fertilizer. I sure haven’t seen it.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum,

 

[chicago]

Church militant I hate to tell you but I am A JESUIT PRIEST.

O, boy, it’s even worse than we thought!

 

[SORROWS]

I don’t know what Catholic churches some of you attend but the bulletin is jam packed with activities for all ages. I have around 5 parishes in the area and we are GAINING new parisheners not losing.

If I don’t arrive on time, you can bet I won’t get a parking. I don’t believe that nonsense about those leaving due to the reasons stated above…show proof!

Where have we put God in our society or any society? He has been shoved out to the point of being vacant and it is the rare few who fight against this secularism. A new christian movie has come out that has been put PG rated because it is a christian movie.

Quit whining and sniveling with all these excuses. What do I care about donuts and coffee! I go to Mass for one reason only – to worship my faith as a devout Catholic and hear the gospels and re-presentation of my Lords last supper and recieve the Body and Blood that was His sacrifice for all our sins. I do not go to Mass to gossip about the Priests life or whether he is gay or whatever…I pray for all religious.

I do not care what protestants do or Baptists or whatever…If they believe in God, they are brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray for them because they are missing the real truth.

I love the Catholic Church. It is everything!

 

[SORROWS]

Church militant I hate to tell you but I am A JESUIT PRIEST.

Then why does your public profile say “christian”???