Why are Protestant Churches more friendly, helpful, and community oriented?

[Augustine22]

Has anyone noticed that some of the really conservative parishes have trouble getting people to stand up and volunteer for things like CCD?

I have friends at really liberal parishes and they have SOOO many volunteers. Of course, SOOO many of them are not really fit to be teaching, either. It’s just weird.

 

[LeahInancsi]

Although I haven’t read all the posts to this thread, I have to disagree with the OP’s premise.

First, I don’t see Protestant churches doing anything community oriented. While they may appear to be friendlier to prospective new members, I suspect it is with the sole purpose of getting into a person pockets for money to build more buildings. (Excuse me for my bluntness).

Second, as a new Catholic, I have felt that every Catholic at my parish church has been more than friendly and helpful. I also work in the parish food pantry where we give away food and baby clothing, no quesstions asked.

I suspect Protestants feel Catholics are unfriendly because it suits their agenda.

 

[Mommyof02green]

Has anyone noticed that some of the really conservative parishes have trouble getting people to stand up and volunteer for things like CCD?

I have friends at really liberal parishes and they have SOOO many volunteers. Of course, SOOO many of them are not really fit to be teaching, either. It’s just weird.

No! We are a “conservative” parish…and we do a lot see above post.

 

[deb1]

When I was a Protestant there was a lot of emphasis on evangelizing. We were encouraged to bring people to church and to be very, very friendly when they arrived. This was in an effort to build church membership and convert others.

My neighbor’s church practices friendship evangelizism. They befriend people for the express purpose of bringing them to church and then converting them.

In ***some ***Protestant churches-please note that I didn’t say all- there is the need to prove that one is actually saved by taking on a demeanor of happiness and joy.

Although Catholics evangelize, they are not quite as driven to do so as some Protestant churches. I actually prefer this. Personally, I always felt a bit fake when I attended my former Baptist Church.

 

[deb1]

.and the Knights of Columbus…but that is a “male” organization…yes, there is a Sister’s of Columbus…but it’s mostly filled with seniors…20 somethings are not interested.

.

I hope that I am not considered a senior yet! I will be forty this Halloween and I am in the Columbiettes! We also have a member who is only 18.

 

[kellie]

My Parish has many, many groups, all catering to the different needs of our members.

However, one thing disappoints me about them all, and it is why I am not involved in them very much, and that is the internal politics of them.

Each group has its committee, and seem to always be trying to win the love of our Parish Priest by showing how much money they have raised, or their good deeds they have done.

Each group seems to be like a child in a large family, all vying for the approval of thier father.

Then if you join more than 1 group, you run into the problem of hearing the “bitching” about each group.

It really is a problem, and I am wondering if it happens to any of your parishes? And if so, how is it solved?

 

[happygal]

Although I haven’t read all the posts to this thread, I have to disagree with the OP’s premise.

First, I don’t see Protestant churches doing anything community oriented. While they may appear to be friendlier to prospective new members, I suspect it is with the sole purpose of getting into a person pockets for money to build more buildings. (Excuse me for my bluntness).

** God bless you, well i don’t speak of the protestant in America, but at least my church in my country do what we suppose to do to help the non charity organization, provide medical help to the Tsunami victim. We do that becoz we ought to do that becoz God enpower us to help the needy. Talking about building fund, this was one of the question that have being asked each and everytime becoz i am attending a church that cost US30million to built. It took us 7yrs to raise the money just to built that. But i don’t see any problem, becoz we gave happily to God’s kingdom those members who didn’t give any single cents does not mean God will be unhappy, let alone we can give without loving but we cannot love without giving. Nobody in church will ever force you to give if you don’t want to, coz God love a cheerful giver. Even when i attend Mass at a RC i still give building fund to that church coz i gave for one reason and the reason is to give back to God to build his church, nothing else…**

Second, as a new Catholic, I have felt that every Catholic at my parish church has been more than friendly and helpful. I also work in the parish food pantry where we give away food and baby clothing, no quesstions asked.

I suspect Protestants feel Catholics are unfriendly because it suits their agenda.

 

[happygal]

When I was a Protestant there was a lot of emphasis on evangelizing. We were encouraged to bring people to church and to be very, very friendly when they arrived. This was in an effort to build church membership and convert others. My neighbor’s church practices friendship evangelizism. They befriend people for the express purpose of bringing them to church and then converting them.

Wow that is so cool, praise the Lord

In ***some ***Protestant churches-please note that I didn’t say all- there is the need to prove that one is actually saved by taking on a demeanor of happiness and joy.

Hm, what prove do you need from them?? I don’t understand it. If you have Holy Spirit in you will feel happiness and joy…it does not mean you are saved!!!

Although Catholics evangelize, they are not quite as driven to do so as some Protestant churches. I actually prefer this. Personally, I always felt a bit fake when I attended my former Baptist Church.

**That is the greatest different when comes to evangelizing between protestant and catholic. As a Christian our primary role is to win the lose for Christ, we are his disciple, isn’t St Peter, St Paul are great missionary?? The church never ask them to do so but they do that, it was becoz Jesus have told them to do what a disciple should do. As a Christ believer we have to share Gospel to the lose and not keep our faith within ourselves. We also wanted them to have salvation…You do not need your church to drive you to evangelise then you go, we receive so much of God’s grace and words that it become automatic for us to do. It just came out naturally from you. Just like when we hungry we will go eat, coz our stomach will automatic give us a signal is time to eat , we don’t ask pple am i hungry should i go and eat right!!! of course if you do not like evangelizing that is ok, you do not have to force yourself to do that, but you can always pray more and ask God to use you as an instrument to serve him more… **

 

[deb1]

**That is the greatest different when comes to evangelizing between protestant and catholic. As a Christian our primary role is to win the lose for Christ, we are his disciple, isn’t St Peter, St Paul are great missionary?? The church never ask them to do so but they do that, it was becoz Jesus have told them to do what a disciple should do. As a Christ believer we have to share Gospel to the lose and not keep our faith within ourselves. We also wanted them to have salvation…You do not need your church to drive you to evangelise then you go, we receive so much of God’s grace and words that it become automatic for us to do. It just came out naturally from you. Just like when we hungry we will go eat, coz our stomach will automatic give us a signal is time to eat , we don’t ask pple am i hungry should i go and eat right!!! of course if you do not like evangelizing that is ok, you do not have to force yourself to do that, but you can always pray more and ask God to use you as an instrument to serve him more… **

Your post always make me think that you are a very sweet lady.

I don’t mind evangelizing. That doesn’t bother me.

I do think that *some *Protestants(not all) are so intent on evangelizing that their friendliness is a bit fake. It is this that has always bothered me, not the act of evangelizing, itself.

I also have problems with the pressure on some Protestants(again, not all) to act a certain way to prove to their congregation that they are saved. I was in such a church and it almost turned me off of Christianity.

 

[water]

I’ve never mentioned anything about abortion in any of my posts, I don’t know how that got brought up in this thread. It’s amazing how some people can lead every conversation back to the topic of abortion I’ve noticed. I’ve always been stongly against abortion, but didn’t really want to talk about abortion here.

I am sorry my fault - In my mind I was thinking about Birth control, but I kept on writing about “Abortion”. You are right, you did not say anything about abortion. My apology.

 

[JoeyWarren]

my protestant friends tell me how boring the Mass is and how they come out of Church on an emotional and spiritual high and how much fun their services are. i tell them i come out of mass in awe-after all i had just held and consumed the Body and Blood of the creator of the Universe. Ill take that any day over being “amused”

The protestant expectation IMHO is the result of the “Been there, Done that” attitude.

 

[Lucania]

That’s a good suggestion except I’m a very shy person and it’s not my gift in life to organize things. I’m very fearful of things like giving parties or organizing social events, it’s almost a phobia actually.

When I first came into the Church, I only knew a handful of people. I wanted to feel more of a part of the Church Community so I told myself the best way was to join a group. I joined the Parish Outreach. After about two years, one of the officers in Outreach asked me if I would consider being Secretary for the next two years. I was mortified because I don’t like public speaking at all. I would have to take notes at the meeting, type the report and then read it out loud at the next meeting. I ended up taking the position & by doing that helped me with my phobia. My point is that sometimes you just have to face your fears head on! If someone dosen’t make the first move, it may never happen and there will still be no organization to attend. Protestants have nothing on us in my community, we are busy, busy, busy!

 

[kage_ar]

From my years in evangelical America to those who have not been there - here is a peek behind the curtain… In those super busy big non-catholic congregations, it is still a small percentage who volunteer and are very involved in the activities. The same thing in our Parishes, the majority of the work is done by a small group of volunteers -

That being said, there is a subtle difference… the majority of the Catholics I know seem to think that the car will melt or the earth spin off her axis if one were to set foot on the Parish grounds more than once per week. The serious non-Catholics are USED to going to the church 3X’s per week (Sunday morning, Sunday evening and then for a mid-week evening service). They will actually keep the kids from soccer practice, gymnastics, karate, cotillion, etc. on Wed evenings because that is a church night! (Shocking, I know).

If more Catholics had this attitude, there would be more programs available because there would be more volunteers, etc.

So, please, volunteer. Walk up to the Pastor, Youth Minister, the DRE, someone on Parish Council - anyone who DOES volunteer - this week and say “what do you need me to do”…

 

[Lucania]

One of my complaints about the Catholic Church is that it’s unfriendly and not a very good community. I read posts here that say that Protestants are phoney and have just as many problems, and that you don’t go to church to feel good. But I think that Protestants have a lot on the ball. They offer more youth activities and church socials. We should be socializing within the Church. That feeling of community is an important thing, more important to some than others obviously. It’s also a big reason why people like myself are tempted to leave the church, because it’s not the greatest social support system.

I see my fellow Catholics getting involved in all sorts of other activities outside of church, but nothing’s happening in the church. Small Baptist churches will have a church van or bus and everyone takes field trips together. They have vibrant youth groups where kids can have wholesome fun and give the parents a break too. I wish the Catholic Church provided things like that more.

I am not familiar with any Catholic Churches like you describe. The Churches I have been a part of in my community have tons of groups to participate in from pre-teen to the elderly! Your Church dosen’t have C.Y.O.? The Church I sometimes attend right around the corner have C.Y.O., Catholic Singles, Widow-Widower Groups, Volunteer at the Soup Kitchens, the youth also do something called Urban Plunge, where they help build/repair homes for people in need in our area. The list really does go on & on. Why don’t you talk to your Priest & tell him about your concerns. He may know of others who feel the same way and are taking steps to make something happen, and you could help. Not saying or doing anything will get nothing done.

 

[cheddarsox]

I have moved a fair bit in my adult life. I check out several churches in my new community. I was raised Catholic, so I check out Catholic as well as Protestand churches, and overall… The Protestant churches make a point of welcoming people. People notice I am “new” say hello, ask me about myself, tell me of some church activities that might suit me of my family, ask me to get on the mailing list and introduce me to the minister.
In Catholic churches. Someone shakes my hand at the sign of peace, and then I am ignored. I have even gone as far as asking the priest to share more information about the “returning to the church” classes, but the sister who ran them wasn’t around, so he told me I’d have to try some other time. Didn’t bother to take my name or number or anything.

The idea seems that you should have the backbone to fight your way in and prove you’re worthy and that you have what it takes to be a real Catholic. None of that warm fuzzy stuff, it’s tuff luv all the way.

I’ve had some rough experiences in some Protestant churches as well, and have left some congregations over some issues, but as far as being welcoming, open and integrating newcomers into the life of the church, Protestants have Catholics beat handsdown.

cheddar

 

[Catherine_S]

When I go to Mass, I usually see several people that I know. We sort of smile and say “Hi”, but not much more than that because we are really not there at that time to socialize. It seems like once we bless ourselves after walking in the door, our thoughts are more turned towards worship and prayer. I know though if I see these same people elsewhere, at Bible study, at one of the schools, a scout meeting, or Target or the grocery store, then we always stop to chat and be friendly. Mass just doesn’t seem like the time for that.

As far as being helpful and supportive, I have found the people to be extremely helpful and supportive. I am going through a divorce right now and I have gotten many prayers, cards, thoughtful emails and calls as well as offers to watch my kids or help out in any way possible. My church has totally been there for me. Maybe some of that has been because I have shared with people what I am going through.

My next door neighbor is a stay at home mom of four with a husband in Iraq and a very tight budget because they really took on too much of a mortgage. Their house needed all sorts of work and the church has arranged to have some plumbing work done, a new shower installed, the roof repaired, and the yard relandscaped. This is probably because my neighbor let them know what her needs were. Her husband isn’t Catholic, but he has been so impressed by the kindness and generosity of the parishoners that he is considering converting. I gave him some books to read while he is in Iraq.

As well we have ministries that welcome new parishoners with baskets of home baked goodies and info, that cook for sick parishoners or those who have just given birth, that provide meals at the church for the homeless, that assist those with unexpected pregnancies, etc, etc. Every year almost 200 familes at our church work with the Saint Francis Center in downtown Los Angeles to provide very generous “baskets” of food at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. Every year over 100 high schoolers give up their Spring break to go down to Mexico and build homes for needy families.

I wrote in another thread about my daughter’s former CCD teacher inviting some teenaged girls into her home every week to discuss morality and making good choices. She is totally close to all of the girls she has gone to religious ed with over the years.

So, while I realize that no one is running up to hug me (very often) at Mass, I don’t think that my church is unfriendly, I just think we have our priorities straight at Mass.

.

 

[happygal]

Your post always make me think that you are a very sweet lady.

I don’t mind evangelizing. That doesn’t bother me.

I do think that *some *Protestants(not all) are so intent on evangelizing that their friendliness is a bit fake. It is this that has always bothered me, not the act of evangelizing, itself.

**I understood your point, which i will said some people; you see is not actually what you get (meaning though they act this way, but inside them are opposite) however i believe friendliness come out naturally, probably for me is easy coz i am an extremely chatty gal and can talk with everybody if they don’t find me noisey…haha, however for some they might need to fake alittle initial if they are quiet kind of person, well if they so initially it can be fake, however as they evangelize more it will become automatic for them (i mean being friendly) **

I also have problems with the pressure on some Protestants(again, not all) to act a certain way to prove to their congregation that they are saved. I was in such a church and it almost turned me off of Christianity.

Well proving that their congregation can help saved you sound alittle uncomfort to some, coz pple will have doubt.
Depending how you wanted to evangelize, back here we don’t go around telling pple that they receive Jesus they will go heaven else they go hell coz it is too offensive, we just wanted to share with them about God’s teaching and they can be transform into someone better, share with them some of bible teaching…etc…i understand that some church can be alittle pressuring to their members in their ways to reach out to the lose, however we under no obligation to be force in doing certain thing, let alone the church is just like a school teaching you basic information, feeding you with milk, however if the milk is not sufficient/taste bad, then we can ask God to give milk to us. Church are run by humans, thus it is not perfect. But i’m glad you are happy that you found a church where you can happily worshipping God, so let’s be open and not be disturb by stuff which we don’t really like. We need to have a beautiful heart to see a beautiful God, sometime even if you see something that are dirty but we probably shall tell ourselves, oh never mind let God do the cleansing to wash those dirt away, just like he wash our dirt away

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I truly do not think this is necessarily true, that Protestant churches are more friendly and helpful etc, and Catholic churches standoffish.

Even if Mr. A, for example, attended 7 Catholic parishes and found them ‘unfriendly’ and then attended 7 Protestant churches and found them MORE friendly, etc., what does that prove?
First, "friendliness’ is in the eye of the beholder. Some places are very ‘friendly’ to newcomers and not so much to members. Some places’ ‘friendliness’ is extended strictly to one or two areas --maybe there is a big Bible study group with child care, a big youth group with lots of meetings, and a big ‘community’ potluck supper–but after that, NOTHING. No outreach to foreign missions, no outreach for prolife, no outreach to prisons, no outreach to the homeless, the hungry, the working poor, the single parents, the homebound elderly, the immigrants. . .

The problem is that most Catholic parishes have people doing that 'let not your right hand know what your left hand is doing" stuff from the gospel. Very few people might know that Mrs. B who seems just to ‘sit there’ in the pew on Sunday (not a reader, not a choir member), comes to church every Monday with a few other ladies and cleans it–gratis; while additionally sending a few dollars every month to at least a dozen Catholic charities groups including Right to Life, seminarians, foreign missions, Peter’s Pence, religious retirement funds, St. Jude’s, Catholic Relief Services, Food for the Poor. . .as well as other nonCatholic charities including Habitat for Humanity. . .as WELL as praying fervently daily, working a full time job outside the home AND raising a family. Her community isn’t limited to the people in her own church, her own town, or state, or even country–but to the entire WORLD.

Certainly God cares about what we do and WHY. . .but He also does not DEMAND that we do our good deeds with a lot of show and hoop-la. God bless the Protestants and I’m glad that they have friendly and helpful people there–but so do WE. God bless the Protestants–I’m sure they likewise have lots of people whose work is done less visibly. So do WE.

God bless us all and help us focus less on what WE think, see, or feel and on what WE want. . .and more on what HE thinks, sees, and feels, and what HE wants.

 

[kage_ar]

Let’s peel that onion a bit…

Protestant church. Everyone attends service together on Sunday morning, Sunday evening and at mid week (sure, there are the Sunday morning only people, but, they are not the core of the congretation). Maybe they have 2 Sunday morning services, but, everyone still goes together to Sunday evening, Sunday school and mid-week services. Everyone knows, at least by sight, everyone else.

Protestants are not required to attend every week, there is no obligation and missing Sunday is not a mortal sin. So, when on vacation, only the most devout of Protestants will seek out a local congregation on Sunday morning. The vast majority will feel that some private prayer and Bible study with the family is sufficient during vacation.

So, the when there is a new face at the Protestant Sunday morning service that face stands out as:

A: New person/family has moved to the community.
B: Someone who lives in the area is church shopping.
C: Out of town visitor.

As there is a high probability this is a possible new member, it is natural for the congregation to want to retain that person. They will be most likely be acknowledged and asked to fill out a card so the local team can follow up.

When your company is recruiting, your office goes out of the way to make that person WANT to become part of your team, don’t you?

Catholic Parish. In my town of 35K population, there are twelve Masses available within 20 minutes drive every Sunday (including the Sat vigils.

Every Catholic has a holy day of obligation every single Sunday, so, if you are on vacation or out of town on business, you are attending Mass somewhere.

For these two reasons alone, many Catholic Parishes will have new faces at every single service (unless you live in a far remote area where there are no tourists or business travelers, and only one Parish for 100 miles). When someone comes in to register at a Parish, for CCD, for youth group, THEN we know you are actually a new member of the Parish and I can tell you that I am friendly and welcoming to every new member in our youth group or my CCD class… When folks come in for RCIA, we actually have a Rite of Welcoming during the process! The Sunday Mass is not a time for “us to take time to recognize our visitors, please raise your hand and an usher will bring you a visitor’s card”.

So, if the Protestant churches are recruiting, Catholic parishes are family homes. You come home because you belong there, you take part because you are part of the family. We do have many events and groups available, and they spill all over the community. Find a small group with your Parish community, and join the family!

 

[Writer]

One of my complaints about the Catholic Church is that it’s unfriendly and not a very good community. I read posts here that say that Protestants are phoney and have just as many problems, and that you don’t go to church to feel good. But I think that Protestants have a lot on the ball. They offer more youth activities and church socials. We should be socializing within the Church. That feeling of community is an important thing, more important to some than others obviously. It’s also a big reason why people like myself are tempted to leave the church, because it’s not the greatest social support system.

I see my fellow Catholics getting involved in all sorts of other activities outside of church, but nothing’s happening in the church. Small Baptist churches will have a church van or bus and everyone takes field trips together. They have vibrant youth groups where kids can have wholesome fun and give the parents a break too. I wish the Catholic Church provided things like that more.

I havent’ had a chance to read what others have said on this, but I can tell you (as a former Protestant) that you have some good points. At the same time, I think we have to realize that the social opportunities at a particular parish do not justify a change in your belief system. I’d suggest this is one of those things you need to try to work on.

When we noticed a lack of faith formation activities (after RCIA), we formed a discussion group that meets every other week to read and discuss the Catechsim together. It’s awesome. Don’t wait for someone to do what’s missing–do it yourself!

My pet peeve? Social issues. In fact, I am in the process of writing an article on this one. Our parishes will play Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” movie about global warming (read Jimmy Akins blog on this topic) or the anti-Wal-Mart movies, but they are reluctant (many times) to take a public stand against abortion or pornography. They like the big-picture, or macro, issues, but many of us ignore the important issues staring us in the face. I have some theories on this inclination to political correctness over the hard issues, but I am going to save them for my essay.