Why are there so many mean-spirited people on these forums?

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contramundum7

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:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.

Far from it, in my opinion… :confused:

This indicates to me that these “members” of the forum do not have a true commitment to Jesus Christ… seeing as how they don’t seem to emulate Him too well…

Just wondering if anyone else agrees and/or has any suggestions? I am bringing this up because i believe “snotty” answers drive people off the forums…

and even if they didn’t, it just isn’t right to act like that… I guess they are the more to be pitied…
 
contramundum7 said:
:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.

Far from it, in my opinion… :confused:

This indicates to me that these “members” of the forum do not have a true commitment to Jesus Christ… seeing as how they don’t seem to emulate Him too well…

Just wondering if anyone else agrees and/or has any suggestions? I am bringing this up because i believe “snotty” answers drive people off the forums…

and even if they didn’t, it just isn’t right to act like that… I guess they are the more to be pitied…
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Aren’t we being a little judgmental here? I agree that from time to time some of us get a little more than irritated with other posters and I always say there is another way to get your point across. But we have a few forum members who do not seem to be happy campers about anything. I would not deem to call them emotionally or psychologically impaired. I don’t think that is a diagnosis that either of us is qualified to make. I also agree that sometimes we all get all little off base, but the moderators usually take care of it if we get too far over the edge.
 
One thing about this form of communication is that it’s easy to say things that you would never say to someone’s face. I find that it happens in e-mail as well. It’s easy to scream at your monitor and forget that there’s a real person behind it.
 
I hear (or actually read) what you are saying. I think a big part of it is because we can’t really see the sorrow, sadness, empathy, in the persons face when they are typing and so a lot of visual communication is lost. This leads to a misperception in words as some of us are not gifted enough to articulate well that we really feel bad and empathize for the other person - it just doesn’t come across in the reading - or is taken completely opposite.

It does seem like though, once the misperception starts - it is quickly fueled and added to. I think that’s the part that I don’t understand also. Once it goes down that path - I would hope it is ignored so it doesn’t perpetuate and sometimes kill the whole thread and derail it.

thanks
 
contramundum7 said:
:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… …
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This is a public form. Are you suggesting that people submit to a psychological test before becoming members?
 
Not everyone who posts here is a Christian (not that non-Christians are more given to being snarky than are Christians). 🙂

Also, people can get quite defensive when all they hold dear is challenged on a public forum.

It is easy to read into posts things that people did not mean to convey, as ltbpoe43 cited. I have had people accuse me of being mean or insensitive when all I intended was to be straightforward and plain-speaking.

If we all assume the other person means well, it helps a great deal. And if the other person doesn’t mean well, we should pray for him–he’s probably having a bad day. 😉
 
contramundum7 said:
:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.

Far from it, in my opinion… :confused:

This indicates to me that these “members” of the forum do not have a true commitment to Jesus Christ… seeing as how they don’t seem to emulate Him too well…

Just wondering if anyone else agrees and/or has any suggestions? I am bringing this up because i believe “snotty” answers drive people off the forums…

and even if they didn’t, it just isn’t right to act like that… I guess they are the more to be pitied…
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I agree-I wish everyone would just act like me!😉
 
I think our society has over the years, for lack of a better word, encouraged people to be rude, short, and uncaring about the feelings of others. You see this in emails, road rage, general lack of consideration for someone else almost everywhere.
My personal feeling is if someone earnestly asks a question or politely states an opinion it should be treated respectfully.

All in all I think that this a sign of the general decline of the Christian spirit in our world. How do we combat this? I really don’t know except by raising our children that this is not an acceptable way to treat others and treating everyone you meet with respect and dignity - the Golden Rule.

God Bless:)
 
In my opinion, there are very few people on these forums that are mean. I think that they want to tell the truth and tell it like it is. I think that they don’t want to be mean, I think they want to make themselves clear.
 
Another thing to think about is that when you are not sitting face to face with the person you are “talking” to, you cannot see facial expressions, demeanor, etc. I can remember a time when I joked about something and a poster let me know that he was offended. He had taken what I said literally. I apologized for not adding a smilie face to indicate that I meant it in jest.
 
contramundum7 said:
:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.

Far from it, in my opinion… :confused:

This indicates to me that these “members” of the forum do not have a true commitment to Jesus Christ… seeing as how they don’t seem to emulate Him too well…

Just wondering if anyone else agrees and/or has any suggestions? I am bringing this up because i believe “snotty” answers drive people off the forums…

and even if they didn’t, it just isn’t right to act like that… I guess they are the more to be pitied…
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SuscipeMeDomine is right. It’s the internet, so… it is what it is.

But, you have a valid point. It’s a catholic forum as well, and one would think a member would hesitate to show their rear.
I’ll admit, I’ve caught myself posting comments I wish I hadn’t. Not blatantly rude or intentional meaness. Just saying things before thinking about it first.

So, thanks for posting this topic. I may be one of the ones that needs a kick in the shin from time to time. 😃
 
Although I can say from my own experience, this section, “Spirituality,” usually has the most pleasant correspondences. 👍
 
The “Preview Post” button is a great help in being charitable. If you just can’t help writing a snippy, rude response, go ahead and write it. Then preview it, enjoy seeing it in print on the screen, then move on without hitting “Submit Reply.” I’ve done this many times, whenever my posts do not meet the standards of my personal “friendly and helpful” test.

Betsy
 
Excuse me for saying but what specific examples of rudeness are you referring to? I’ve yet to encounter the mean-spiritedness you speak of. :confused:
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
One thing about this form of communication is that it’s easy to say things that you would never say to someone’s face. I find that it happens in e-mail as well. It’s easy to scream at your monitor and forget that there’s a real person behind it.
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And it is easier to read “mean-spirted” into another’s post when they disagree with you and you cannot read thier body or face language or, hear thier tone of voice. I know I react too quick sometimes, way too many times, negatively (sp), but after posting, I feel like I’m made a mistake by reading something into a post, that may not really be there.😊
mary_bobo said:
Another thing to think about is that when you are not sitting face to face with the person you are “talking” to, you cannot see facial expressions, demeanor, etc. I can remember a time when I joked about something and a poster let me know that he was offended. He had taken what I said literally. I apologized for not adding a smilie face to indicate that I meant it in jest.
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Ditto:blush:
 
Stillkickin said:
I think our society has over the years, for lack of a better word, encouraged people to be rude, short, and uncaring about the feelings of others. You see this in emails, road rage, general lack of consideration for someone else almost everywhere.
My personal feeling is if someone earnestly asks a question or politely states an opinion it should be treated respectfully.

All in all I think that this a sign of the general decline of the Christian spirit in our world. How do we combat this? I really don’t know except by raising our children that this is not an acceptable way to treat others and treating everyone you meet with respect and dignity - the Golden Rule.

God Bless:)
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Your comment reminds me of an incident that happened a few days ago where this driver hit a two year old toddler and then a mob of bystanders attacked the driver and killed the passenger of the vehicle. The child didn’t even sustain life threatening injuries. Another incident was this woman that was allowed to die in agony while in an emergency waiting room. Many health care attendants saw her dying in excruciating pain and did nothing to help her. They even had a janitor clean up the bloody vomit around her as she lay dying. No doctor cared to lift a finger to help her even though they had the time and resources to do so. It’s not only the rudeness of society that scares me but also the seeming death of charity and the strong tendency toward violence. I hope those incidents are not indicative of the spiritual bankruptcy of this nation as a whole. 😦
 
contramundum7 said:
:gopray: I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.

Far from it, in my opinion… :confused:

This indicates to me that these “members” of the forum do not have a true commitment to Jesus Christ… seeing as how they don’t seem to emulate Him too well…

Just wondering if anyone else agrees and/or has any suggestions? I am bringing this up because i believe “snotty” answers drive people off the forums…

and even if they didn’t, it just isn’t right to act like that… I guess they are the more to be pitied…
Click to expand...
Well try to keep in mind, that not every one has the writing skills to express themselves in an eloquent manor. Sometimes, what seems abrasive, is really just the lacking of literary skills.

Bottom line is, you be what you think people should be on these forums. People will learn from your example.

God Bless
Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Well try to keep in mind, that not every one has the writing skills to express themselves in an eloquent manor. Sometimes, what seems abrasive, is really just the lacking of literary skills.

Bottom line is, you be what you think people should be on these forums. People will learn from your example.

God Bless
Jim
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This is very true, I love what you wrote you here.

My frustration is how many threads end up in arguments.
 
From the people I’ve met in my life, there are some people who seem to think that the only way to prove that they are orthodox is by being a jerk and harsh to others. Many of them cannot or refuse to walk in another’s shoes.

And I hate to say this, but part of this is due to the whole “theology of suffering” being taken too far. It’s easier to cry “redemptive suffering” and “it’s just your cross, shut up and bear it, now leave me alone” than to exercise some Christian understanding and actually try to attempt to see if there is a workable Christian solution to another’s problems.
 
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