Why are there so many mean-spirited people on these forums?

[OriginalJS]

I have read many of the posts on these forums and about 10% or so seem to be written by people who have serious emotional/psychological problems… the most problematic of which is that, through their words, they seem to show that they don’t “love others as [Christ] has loved [them]”.
.

I think that many who come to this forum are frustrated with what they see going on. Their beliefs have been rejected or belittled and they succumb to anger, which results in strident posts that sometimes have an offensive tone. Such posts should be charitably read and responded to with sensitivity.

On any forum you will always find wits and wiseacres who sense easy targets and make extravagant postings seeking to inflame the situation. Nothing can be done about this as long as a public forum is involved. As a friend of mine said, “if you are going to get the public’s ear you are going to have to take the public’s mouth.”

 

[TOP]

Hi, I’m Tim. I’m a recovering a-hole. I’ve been cool since I woke up this morning, but then I saw this thread and …

 

[mommyof4]

Hi, I’m Tim. I’m a recovering a-hole. I’ve been cool since I woke up this morning, but then I saw this thread and …

 

[robertaf]

I spent a very long time in this Forum.
I happen to be a 40 year Charismatic Catholic. I put up with the nasty remarks about the Catholic Charismatic Renewal for as long as I cared to and then went searching for Catholics with a better attitude. I found them in other Forums. It is true that I also found the “mean-spirited” ones too, but not to the degree I found them here.
I love much about CA and a lot is good friends I made here.
I liked it best when we could give points. Big loss, in my opinion when that ended.
I still call many folks here my friends but when the mud slinging starts I wave and say so long for now. Not worth the aggravation.

 

[anamchara]

I have found plenty of examples of snotty rude behavior on the forums. I’ve noticed it mainly from Catholics but then that could be that it just stands out for me as I am a Catholic as well.

I normally stay in the clubhouse or come in here on occasion. I made the mistake of going into the non-religious forum just the other and witnessed with shock fellow Catholics going after a Mormon. I ended up getting caught up in the whole thing. I’ve gone into these types of threads before and always get accused of being too soft or liberal so being nice and trying to defend a lone soul is being soft?

I realize this sounds harsh but there are too many Catholics who use the banner of the Church as an excuse to be nasty.

I wonder if there isn’t a mental issue as they seem to not have any warmth or Christ centered approach in anything they write.

One thing I will add however is the worse ones I’ve seen normally always get banned in the end. The snottiness eventually catches up with them. We have an awesome set of moderators.

 

[anamchara]

Yep, kind of like road rage. You do/say things to people from a distance that you would never say face to face.

Road rage lol, good analogy.

 

[robertaf]

I have found plenty of examples of snotty rude behavior on the forums. I’ve noticed it mainly from Catholics but then that could be that it just stands out for me as I am a Catholic as well.

I normally stay in the clubhouse or come in here on occasion. I made the mistake of going into the non-religious forum just the other and witnessed with shock fellow Catholics going after a Mormon. I ended up getting caught up in the whole thing. I’ve gone into these types of threads before and always get accused of being too soft or liberal so being nice and trying to defend a lone soul is being soft?

I realize this sounds harsh but there are too many Catholics who use the banner of the Church as an excuse to be nasty.

I wonder if there isn’t a mental issue as they seem to not have any warmth or Christ centered approach in anything they write.

One thing I will add however is the worse ones I’ve seen normally always get banned in the end. The snottiness eventually catches up with them. We have an awesome set of moderators.

Do you think that just the fact we are Catholics and (the True Church) tend to make us uppity and “Holier than Thou”? Are we too sure of ourselves, do you think?

The most common way snotty Catholics try to insult us Charismatics is to pin a lot of “isms” and “ology’s” on us and say we are too “protestant”.

 

[anamchara]

Do you think that just the fact we are Catholics and (the True Church) tend to make us uppity and “Holier than Thou”? Are we too sure of ourselves, do you think?

The most common way snotty Catholics try to insult us Charismatics is to pin a lot of “isms” and “ology’s” on us and say we are too “protestant”.

You’ve been the victim of the “isms” as well eh? Welcome to the isms club the other day I was accused of being a “squishy liberal” now I hadn’t heard that one before.

I don’t know what the problem is. Maybe too many people just come from bad environments/backgrounds and were never taught basic tact. What’s odd is many wear it as a badge of honor as if they are the last bastion to save the Church

 

[robertaf]

You’ve been the victim of the “isms” as well eh? Welcome to the isms club the other day I was accused of being a “squishy liberal” now I hadn’t heard that one before.

I don’t know what the problem is. Maybe too many people just come from bad environments/backgrounds and were never taught basic tact. What’s odd is many wear it as a badge of honor as if they are the last bastion to save the Church

You got that right.
I keep thinking of Jesus prayer for Unity in the Gospel of John.
I wonder if he might have been praying, first for Unity within the Catholic Church. Now, there is a new concept.

 

[Julianna]

I have found plenty of examples of snotty rude behavior on the forums. I’ve noticed it mainly from Catholics but then that could be that it just stands out for me as I am a Catholic as well.

I normally stay in the clubhouse or come in here on occasion. I made the mistake of going into the non-religious forum just the other and witnessed with shock fellow Catholics going after a Mormon. I ended up getting caught up in the whole thing. I’ve gone into these types of threads before and always get accused of being too soft or liberal so being nice and trying to defend a lone soul is being soft?

I realize this sounds harsh but there are too many Catholics who use the banner of the Church as an excuse to be nasty.

I wonder if there isn’t a mental issue as they seem to not have any warmth or Christ centered approach in anything they write.

One thing I will add however is the worse ones I’ve seen normally always get banned in the end. The snottiness eventually catches up with them. We have an awesome set of moderators.

Hello…dear friend! You are such a “softy”… I’m in totally agreement of the “Christ centered” approach. There is alot of “my way or the hi-way” mentality…not to mention pages and pages…and links and links…and quotes and quotes from canon law…ad nausem. Geez louise…I wouldn’t get a thing done, go to work, pay bills, shop for groceries, chat with friends…etc…if I sat day after day digesting all of that…when it is plain to see that “to teach as Jesus did”…will handle it just fine. We have many “canon law”…“doctrine to dogma” scholars here. Its great that some “know” the letter of the law…but those same could use a course or two in the “spirit of the law”. Utilizing the latter would take a big chunk out of the mean-spiritedness on these boards.

Glad to see you around…anamchara.

 

[robertaf]

Hello…dear friend! You are such a “softy”… I’m in totally agreement of the “Christ centered” approach. There is alot of “my way or the hi-way” mentality…not to mention pages and pages…and links and links…and quotes and quotes from canon law…ad nausem. Geez louise…I wouldn’t get a thing done, go to work, pay bills, shop for groceries, chat with friends…etc…if I sat day after day digesting all of that…when it is plain to see that “to teach as Jesus did”…will handle it just fine. We have many “canon law”…“doctrine to dogma” scholars here. Its great that some “know” the letter of the law…but those same could use a course or two in the “spirit of the law”. Utilizing the latter would take a big chunk out of the mean-spiritedness on these boards.

Glad to see you around…anamchara.

Sometimes all it takes is close the mouth, fold the typing hands and let the head knowledge sink down about a foot or so until it lands in the heart.

 

[Autumn]

This is a public form. Are you suggesting that people submit to a psychological test before becoming members?

Perhaps this is the type of answer the poster refers to.

 

[mommyof4]

Its great that some “know” the letter of the law…but those same could use a course or two in the “spirit of the law”. Utilizing the latter would take a big chunk out of the mean-spiritedness on these boards.

Glad to see you around…anamchara.

Yes- you are SOOOOOO right on that one!!

 

[anamchara]

Hello…dear friend! You are such a “softy”… I’m in totally agreement of the “Christ centered” approach. There is alot of “my way or the hi-way” mentality…not to mention pages and pages…and links and links…and quotes and quotes from canon law…ad nausem. Geez louise…I wouldn’t get a thing done, go to work, pay bills, shop for groceries, chat with friends…etc…if I sat day after day digesting all of that…when it is plain to see that “to teach as Jesus did”…will handle it just fine. We have many “canon law”…“doctrine to dogma” scholars here. Its great that some “know” the letter of the law…but those same could use a course or two in the “spirit of the law”. Utilizing the latter would take a big chunk out of the mean-spiritedness on these boards.

Glad to see you around…anamchara.

As always your words are better than mine! Thanks, good to see you around as well. You should hang out in the club house and in here, I find it’s much more spiritually healthy

 

[Teelynn]

Sometimes, it seems that some people might appear to be “snotty” as OP has said when in fact they are just being emphatic due to possibly a highly charged emotional issue…or a controversial one or both. It takes, I believe a certain talent to articulate a strong feeling without appearing confrontational or self righteous. At times, I know, I have to work to say things that get my point across yet not get any one’s feathers ruffled. It’s something that I am always aware of when posting. On the other hand there ARE posters who just let it all hang out without any thoughts of how they will be perceived. Or I guess without caring much.

 

[mary_bobo]

Could it be that some of us just like to argue? Or that some of us always want to be right? I am not directing this at anyone, just some food for thought.

 

[robertaf]

Sometimes, it seems that some people might appear to be “snotty” as OP has said when in fact they are just being emphatic due to possibly a highly charged emotional issue…or a controversial one or both. It takes, I believe a certain talent to articulate a strong feeling without appearing confrontational or self righteous. At times, I know, I have to work to say things that get my point across yet not get any one’s feathers ruffled. It’s something that I am always aware of when posting. On the other hand there ARE posters who just let it all hang out without any thoughts of how they will be perceived. Or I guess without caring much.

You may be right about this.
I listen to talk radio and watch talk shows on tv. It always seems when someone is losing an argument they start raising their voices. It happens over and over again. It is always the one on the losing end that begins shouting over someone.
Debating on line may be the same thing.

We can’t always make someone else agree with us. Why should we?

 

[cheddarsox]

How does putting a smiley after a nice post mean that someone is being sarcastic? I am getting to the point of being afraid to post. You can’t voice your opinion or disagree with someone or else you are being nasty. You can’t post a nice post and put a smiley then you are being sarcastic. You can’t voice your frustration with something by putting the banging head that means you are also being nasty. So tell me what is the point of even bothering to post. We should all just be of one opinion and have no minds of our own.

I belong to a number of religious forums.

People can post whatever, however they like. I am all for sharing of different opinions. Some forums do tend toward getting personal, as in discussing people rather than ideas. And yes, I do find that people tend to use eye roll and head banging smilies in a less than charitable way.

That is their option. And it is my option to not like it. But since the OP asked why there are mean spirited posters here, my opinion is that it is because they are tolerated.

I’ve never told anyone here to “zip it”, or that their post was unwelcome. A few times, I have reported unreasonably mean or inappropriate posts. I think that is being a good neighbor.

Generally, these forums do tend to get more personal than most I participate in. That is my experience. There are some posters who use charitable words, but add an uncharitable tone with certain smilies. They are welcome to do so, but that doesn’t mean others will like it.

Not all smilies are uncharitable, and adding them does not automatically imply sarcasm.

I don’t ask people here to post only in ways that make me feel “special”, do what you like. I’m a grown up, if I don’t like the forums, I know how to navigate to gentler waters. but the topic here is “mean posters”, so that’s what I’m discussing. If it doesn’t apply to you, don’t worry about it.

cheddar

 

[Robert_Floyd]

St Paul tells not to argue over points of dogma or doctrine (I’m paraphrasing, more or less). Besides people become defensive when someone is forceful in their beliefs, whether it is religion, job, politics, etc. We do more with prayer and allowing Jesus and the Holy Spirit to lead people to the truth.

 

[mary_bobo]

I belong to a number of religious forums.

People can post whatever, however they like. I am all for sharing of different opinions. Some forums do tend toward getting personal, as in discussing people rather than ideas. And yes, I do find that people tend to use eye roll and head banging smilies in a less than charitable way.

That is their option. And it is my option to not like it. But since the OP asked why there are mean spirited posters here, my opinion is that it is because they are tolerated.

I’ve never told anyone here to “zip it”, or that their post was unwelcome. A few times, I have reported unreasonably mean or inappropriate posts. I think that is being a good neighbor.

Generally, these forums do tend to get more personal than most I participate in. That is my experience. There are some posters who use charitable words, but add an uncharitable tone with certain smilies. They are welcome to do so, but that doesn’t mean others will like it.

Not all smilies are uncharitable, and adding them does not automatically imply sarcasm.

I don’t ask people here to post only in ways that make me feel “special”, do what you like. I’m a grown up, if I don’t like the forums, I know how to navigate to gentler waters. but the topic here is “mean posters”, so that’s what I’m discussing. If it doesn’t apply to you, don’t worry about it.

cheddar

Sometimes people use smilies to indicate that they are jesting. I have been told I was uncharitable and when I explained what I meant to the poster who was offended, he admitted he had taken it the wrong way. Don’t forget, we do not know one another, we cannot see the jestures one is making, the way one is sitting, speaking, etc. It is very difficult to tell if someone is being ugle or cute. Some folks have no sense of humor and take many things personally that were not intended to be so. JMHO.