Why are we given this urge if it's wrong to act on it?

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Marianne

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Okay. I’ve been told time and time again by my parents and the Sisters at the Catholic school I attend that it’s a sin to, well, can I use the “M” word here?

Let me explain myself before I go forth and use it.

I have a real internal conflict with everybody who tells me it’s wrong to submit to the basic urge to relieve myself of an urge that God has planted inside of me–and inside everybody else I know, whether they want to admit it or not… Follow me here. It’s clearly not a sin to want to eat when one has the urge to alleviate hunger. It’s definitely not a sin to drink water when one has the urge to alleviate thirst. It’s not a sin to sleep when one has the urge to alleviate being tired and to rejuvenate their body.

All of these urges are part of being a human for a reason.

The satisfying of these urges all play necessary roles in maintaining one’s health and mental being. See how long you can go without satisfying just one of these listed. If you come to think of it, we are all “hardwired” with dozens of basic, human urges that must be sated if we are to exist has happy and healthy humans. So this said, why is it a sin for me to want to alleviate the certain feelings I cannot help or avoid feeling by masturbating?

I get it–through the many times I’ve been told–that masturbation is a sin. But just why is it a sin that I must confess? Why is it, for whatever reasons, this is an impure act that I must confess to? The way I see it is that masturbation is simply one of things that all mortal beings should be able to do without consequence as it does alleviate a condition that needs satisfying, just like hunger, thirst, and tiredness need sating, and without it being considered somehow immoral, wrong, or a sin.

I’m at a point in my life now (I’m 16) where I’m finding that I have sexual feelings, thoughts, and urges that grow stronger and stronger daily. (Yes, my hormones are raging). The way I figure is that I have two realistic options for dealing with them: I can try to ignore these feelings inside of me (not possible, I just end up thinking about wanting to masturbate more and more to where I end up doing it anyway) or I can simply go ahead, masturbate, get it over with, and move on in life–of course, which I’ll have to confess to later.

Either way, it seems that it’s a vicious circle that can’t be broken.

My struggle is that if masturbation is wrong, why then has God put these desires inside of my body that I cannot satisfy without not sinning? I just don’t see the harm in it, especially after having done it–I can move on, try to lead a moral life as best as I can, without constantly thinking about having to satisfy an urge that is absolutely not going to go away by not simply thinking about it, no matter how hard I try.

Any advice or thoughts on this will certainly be appreciated.
 
Marianne said:
So this said, why is it a sin for me to want to alleviate the certain feelings I cannot help or avoid feeling by masturbating?
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The inclination to procreate and have union with the opposite sex is not analogous to eating and sleeping, and therefore should be suppressed until the appropriate context is in place, i.e. Sacramental Marriage.

We were not created to masturbate; masturbating is a selfish disorder of the creative act that undermines the dignity of the human person.
 
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The overwhelming urge is a consequence of the fall. A body that dies must survive by means of involuntary urges. God didnt cause this disorder of the body. Reproduction served the will it didnt demand obedience before sin.
 
AugustTherese said:
The inclination to procreate and have union with the opposite sex is not analogous to eating and sleeping, and therefore should be suppressed until the appropriate context is in place, i.e. Sacramental Marriage.
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Very well put. This urge is one of the many sins of the flesh on which we need to be very careful. Eating and sleeping, like AugustTherese said, are natural acts that are beneficial for the body to allow us to continue in the manner we should. Granted, we could fast from food as an act of prayer (and we should), or we could sleep on a hard ground to participate in suffering as another form of prayer, but to participate in masturbation is acting upon a perversion. Sexuality was created, as a gift from God, for married couples for the sake of openness to life. If it is manipulated, then this becomes a real and many times grave problem.

It can be overcome. Many, many people battle this urge and avoid it. I suggest praying the rosary, growing closer in your devotion to Mary, and praying regularly to fight this.
 
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In Catholicism, sexual acts are only performed with the goal of producing life.

Masturbation is a sexual act that does not produce life.

Therefore, the masturbator, is performing an act that directly contradicts God’s will. It is sinful.

Also, lust is a sin. When one masturbates, one is acting on lust and not on loving procreation.

I believe this is the Catholic view of your question.
 
God placed sexual desires in you. Not the desire to masturbate. Sexual desire leads to getting to meet women and dating so it’ll lead to marriage. Masturbation robs you of love. And potential women from love since you’re not as inclined to pursue them
 
Marianne, Your question and the topic is a good one and a universal one. Of all sins spoken of on this forum, masturbation is the most common. You’re not alone in your feelings.

I have come to think of it in this way. God tested Adam and Eve and they failed. But tests didn’t stop there. I think our sexual inclination (which by the way does wane as one ages) is a kind of test. Our sexual facility can be seen as a gift from God, allowing us men and women to share in His great attribute of Creator. God creates from nothing, the two cells that unite to create a new human life are almost nothing. Yet combined they bring about a miracle of new life. And this action is something sacred. That is how the church views it.
On the other hand, one can choose to act simply like Rover and Fifi on the front lawn, using their sexuality in a simply animal manner. God created man and woman for something better.
As to the solitary expression, you can think of it as a test. Do you respect the great power and facility God has given you, or not. For young people, it is a great difficulty, but mastering oneself develops a strength of character that will serve you well in other areas of your life.
Masturbation is considered a grave matter. How sinful is it in the eyes of God. Well, God only knows that. But the church weighs in on it. You might want to get a Catechism of the Catholic Church and read the section on masturbation. It is enlightening and says that the culpability of the act can be diminished by certain factors.
Know you are not alone in this dilemma. I wish you peace.
 
Just adding one thing to this, we are to take command of our bodily urges, to master them and submit them to our will.
 
HolySpirit said:
In Catholicism, sexual acts are only performed with the goal of producing life
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Actually, sexual acts are performed for procreation and for union (viz. consummation). If sexual acts were only performed for procreation, then we would be using our spouses.
 
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HolySpirit said:
In Catholicism, sexual acts are only performed with the goal of producing life.
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According to the moral law of God binding on all human beings, sex is something that is exclusive to a valid marriage and it is to be done in a manner that is ordered toward procreation.
 
Have you tried getting a girlfriend

Or working out to curb the desire
 
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Having a boyfriend or girlfriend might cause more problems.
 
She might be the one to control him and keep him on the right track
 
Fornication isn’t as satanic as masturbation. They’re both mortal sins but masturbation is more perverse.

Besides he could get married early
 
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It usually goes hand in hand with contraception and even abortion.
 
im just saying maybe a girlfriend would teach him that women are people and not objects.
 
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And a guy might have an overwhelming. Powerful. Urge to feel you up on the bus. Urges being what they are and all is it Ok to give into it? Because I’m telling you he’ll feel better if he can. Sort of.

Look. It’s no way easy to try to do hard things. It’s not a simple path to take on the struggles of this life and still make it through to the end of each day on our feet. But I’m telling you there’s a reason for that.

Just like everyone who’s ever climbed a mountain can tell you it was hard getting up there? It sure makes a strong difference once you finally make it.

And I mean there’s a reason all easy paths lead down. But you can’t keep going down all the time. Because eventually you end up in a pit.

It’s because today you’re just masturbating thinking vague thoughts. Tomorrow you’re masturbating thinking of ever new and ever stronger fantasies. And later your sense of novelty gets skewed so now you’re looking at porn and getting used to doing everything solo. And you know what happens? Eventually you get less and less of a high from doing it the way you’ve done. So new levels of extra get thrown in. Until nothing phases you anymore. Until nothing’s special anymore. Until you need to add more sparkle to each piece of ‘alone time.’ Until one by one your barriers fall down completely.

And then what stops that voice inside your head from telling you it would be more fun to try doing a bit extra with that cute guy who’s been pressuring for more? I mean seriously where are the limits if not at the beginning?

So no, it’s not the same thing as feeding your body with what it needs in order to keep away hunger. The track you’re on is more like the one where you keep thinking about those cookies in the cupboard. You keep thinking about them. And craving them. And wanting them. Until you’ve eaten them all. And gained a bit of padding for the effort. And lost your appetite for better things instead.

Peace Marianne.

And seriously. I know how hard a fight you’re dealing with right now. Just try your absolute best. Just understand that it’s the struggle that makes you better. Even if you eventually fall every time? It’s still the effort put into fending it off that gives you strength.

It’s just like exercising. Eventually you might tire out at the end of each session? But you might be surprised how much further you can go each time before you do. And that’s what’s important. The striving for progress is key.
 
Actually many millions if not billions of us believe that Masturbation is completely natural, healthy and normal. Including the entire medical community.
 
The entire medical community does not agree. And the medical community also agrees with making men into women so
 
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