Why Are You In Your Present Parish?

[PaulinVA]

I’m totally with Cat.

The Church is geographically based. You are automatically a member in your territorial parish.

My family goes to the local parish because the Church tells me that is where we are supposed to go.

If all of you pious/holy/engaged/spiritual people take yourself out of the neighborhood parishes, how will we have the benefit of your insight and yearning for holiness?

 

[francesca_gen]

I was raised a Baptist, and we never used guitars.

I was also raised Baptist, and I have to sadly say that our music (organ, traditional hymns) was much better than what we get 95% of the time at my parish.

 

[Cat]

I was also raised Baptist, and I have to sadly say that our music (organ, traditional hymns) was much better than what we get 95% of the time at my parish.

Just keep in mind always that the musicians are trying their best to honor God. Try to look at their hearts.

I play piano at Mass, and I play what I am assigned to play, and I do the very best job I can do. I’m sure all the musicians in your parish are the same way. No one says, “I’m going to play/sing really bad music as poorly as possible.”

We’re all trying to do our best.

If you don’t like the music in your parish, go to the proper person in the parish (start with the priest) and explain your objections. Don’t just sit there in the pews and fume and be sad about it. Try to make changes. Many musicians like me are very happy to play something else if someone will give us something else.

If the person you go to starts working to make changes, then you have done a good thing. If the person doesn’t make any changes, well, at least you tried.

 

[Cat]

I arrived in our present parish because I called the chancery office and asked what parish our home is in. The person on the other end of the line sounded a little as if you could have knocked her over with a feather that anybody asked, but that’s where I went.

Frankly, I wasn’t too thrilled with it when I started. I didn’t like the architecture much (it has grown on me since), the homilies weren’t anything to write home about, although they were doctrinally sound. For several years, too, I was so busy with trivial things and then with my young children that I wasn’t really involved. (It would have been fair for someone there to ask me the same question you did: “What are you doing here, again?”

Little by little, though, I started doing the work that had to be done there. (By this, I mean both the work of liturgy and the kind of the more manual type.) The more I did, the more I wanted to do. Also, before that, when it came time to assign a new priest to our parish, I prayed that God would send just the right one. Suffice it to say that God made a splendid choice. My appreciation for long-time parishioners also grew, the longer I was there.

My advice would be this: unless you have a compelling reason to go elsewhere–for instance, if you need a parish that offers the TLM or priests that speak your mother tongue or whatever it is that you know you need–start with your geographical parish. Whatever parish you do choose, really give yourself to that parish. Make a commitment. After awhile, it will become more and more clear whether or not you belong there. I don’t mean that you’ll judge whether your brothers and sisters measure up. I mean whether or not you can give what they need from you and vice versa; that is, whether you can be fruitful there.

Note that I did not say “want.” I said “need”. You are not going to know what that is unless you tend to your prayer life and make charitable work part of your spiritual life. That will clue you into their needs and abilities to give, and your own. Then you’ll have an idea if you are a kidney or blood vessel cell, finally settled in and humming away in a kidney, a pancreas cell trying to be a hand, an eye cell trying to be an ear, or, God forbid, a liver cell trying to make a go of it in a liver that isn’t connected to the Head.

Changing metaphors, now: mostly, avoid unneeded transplants. You’ll grow the best if you find a single steady spot, grafted onto a solid part of the Vine. Once there, do all you can to stay there, regardless of what the seasons bring, knowing and accepting that there are, everywhere you go, easier and harder seasons. At least, that is what I think works best.

Oh, and always keep your parish and especially your priests in your prayers. If you’re going to trust in God to provide what you need, it is best to start by asking Him to provide, and to end with a “thank you!”

This is lovely, especially the last paragraph.

It just goes to show that becoming part of a parish family doesn’t happen overnight. It will take many years. Perhaps in our current culture, we’re all too used to conflicts resolved in 60 minutes (actually less if you take out the commericals.)

 

[francesca_gen]

Just keep in mind always that the musicians are trying their best to honor God. Try to look at their hearts.

Oh, I know. None of them mean badly or anything.

If you don’t like the music in your parish, go to the proper person in the parish (start with the priest) and explain your objections. Don’t just sit there in the pews and fume and be sad about it. Try to make changes. Many musicians like me are very happy to play something else if someone will give us something else.

If the person you go to starts working to make changes, then you have done a good thing. If the person doesn’t make any changes, well, at least you tried.

I’ve tried, albeit a bit obliquely. (I’m shy, and from what I can tell – I’m also, funnily enough, on the parish council – I seem to be the only person who would prefer traditional hymns [or traditional anything] and at least occasional use of the organ.) It hasn’t made any impact, so I just deal. Occasionally I escape elsewhere for a music and liturgy fix, but then I come back. Maybe one day I will get up enough chutzpah to be less discreet/oblique about it.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

I’m totally with Cat.

The Church is geographically based. You are automatically a member in your territorial parish.

My family goes to the local parish because the Church tells me that is where we are supposed to go.

If all of you pious/holy/engaged/spiritual people take yourself out of the neighborhood parishes, how will we have the benefit of your insight and yearning for holiness?

I’m not quite sure how I like the comment above. Hopefully, you didn’t mean to sound rude, althoug, IMO that is how you come across. My apologies if that was not your intention.

If I remember correctly an Apologist here at Catholic Answers conmmented about “going where you are fed.” My spiritual life is “fed” at the TLM oratory. Like I mentioned in my post. I contribute financially to BOTH my parish of registry and also at my TLM oratory. IN these days that is no small task, but I take my responsibilities seriously. I am also an active member of the altar society at my parish of registry and help out often…but… I am also 60 years old and at this point in my life, I am going to attend services where my heart feels at home. I do attend the NO occasionally, however.

 

[Student09]

And even if the music isn’t exciting, the organist is lame, the cantor can’t carry a tune, the hymns sound dead, and the priest is boring–that doesn’t matter. These are things of this earth, and the humans who are doing them are doing them the best they can. Try very hard to open your spiritual eyes and ears, and you will see (in your spirit) the angels who surround the altar at Mass. You will hear them singing and playing the heavenly melodies, and you will hear the Holy Spirit teaching you the deep teachings of God, straight from His Word, which is proclaimed at every Mass–you remember that we have the promise that the Word of God will not return void.
.

YES!

This is something that recently has begun to click for me (after attending Mass for half a year, at several different parishes). It is such a relief to go to Mass without worrying about whether the music or the homily will be good - to just go and be with Jesus. It’s freeing. (I have to add I haven’t yet encountered a “liberal” parish. The priests are all quite orthodox as far as I can tell. I guess I’m lucky.)

The lack of the sort of music that I would pick IF it were my choice is, I am beginning to think, actually a blessing; it has been a good reminder for me that Mass is not a concert or other form of entertainment. St. Augustine actually agonized about how much he loved to hear the music at Mass, because he suspected that his enjoyment of it was not entirely the result of his devotion to God, and therefore a sensual temptation. (Even he was aware that he risked going over the top on this issue. )

 

[PaulinVA]

I’m not quite sure how I like the comment above. Hopefully, you didn’t mean to sound rude, althoug, IMO that is how you come across. My apologies if that was not your intention.

Only a little rude.

If traditionalism is about following the rules, the traditions, and the the rules/traditions say that you are a member of your geographic parish, how can you go anywhere else?

You obviously are not the target of my comment. I am a little peeved at people who only follow the rules they find followable…

 

[EasterJoy]

If traditionalism is about following the rules, the traditions, and the the rules/traditions say that you are a member of your geographic parish, how can you go anywhere else?

I am a big believer in trying to bloom in one’s geographical parish, I think there is a big value in taking what Providence dishes up, but there is a reason that the rules no longer require this.

One has to be willing to put down roots, yes. Parishes are not spiritual boutiques, and we are not consumers of spirituality. Some of us, though, without the EF for instance, or when unable to hear Mass in our mother tongue, are like plants in a garden where they get the wrong amount of water, the wrong kind of drainage, or the wrong amount of sunlight. The plant may live, it may make the other plants think that it would look so nice, “if only,” but it will never thrive. The Church doesn’t want church shoppers, but she does want every child in her care to be able to thrive. She doesn’t expect every single person to be able to thrive anywhere.

Those of us who are those tough weedy kind of plants that can thrive anywhere, that will have to be pruned to keep from taking the place over if given so much as a crack in a sidewalk, can count our blessings. Still, I for one think that the roses are well worth the trouble, too.

 

[Linda_Marie]

I am in my current parish because there is no other in the area. The next closest is a 4 hour drive away. My DH worked for a multi-national so we’ve lived in lots of places. I’ve been to Mass in Texas, Florida, Hawaii, Barbados, Portugal, England, Scotland, and several parishes here in Australia. Mass is essentially the same, as it is supposed to be. I go to Mass to worship God and although I do receive from Him, it is not necessary that I feel that I do. It is necessary to worship God as He has taught us He wishes to be worshiped even if we get no feelings at all. It is One Church, the world over. We are all one very big family so it really doesn’t matter which parish you attend. There is only One Christ on the altar, One Bread, One Body.

I think you should check out the Catholic Charismatic Renewal and see if there is a group near you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ez3714
I am a likely future immigrant to Catholicism, so this question is born of ignorance rather than malice.

I thought being a Catholic was like being a voter: You could only go to the precinct to which you were assigned. “Not So,” I’ve been told. So, I’ve been praying constantly to be led to the Parish where I “belong” and have attended Mass at 5-different ones in hopes of recieving the knowing “You’re Home, Bubba.”

A Catholic acquaintance informs me that I’m being too Protestant about this. He says that, other than stylistic differences between Priests, every Parish is the same. I can hit a different one each week, and it won’t matter. Being a member of the Body is all that counts.

I concede the point that some Protestants - especially us Charismatic/Pentecostal types - have to guard against over-reliance on emotionalism. Even smart Pentecostals caution against this. Still, I recoil at the thought that God has not prepared a special place for me in a group where I need their specific charisms, and where they are incomplete without mine. Just show up for feeding somewhere/anywhere on Sundays, and I’m good to go.

Talk to me, y’all: Do I need my attitude adjusted? How did You arrive at “Home?”

 

[BernadetteM]

I converted from an Anglo Catholic parish. The parish close to me was very unconfortable. There were some abuses in the Mass and it was much more protestant than my former church.

Then I found another parish which I liked. The priest was traditional. He would have 30 acolytes during the Mass, all boys. The parish was mixed with more modern thinking Catholics and traditional one.

Then he got ill and had to retire. The new pastor started asking for new people to stand up and introduce themselves and then we were to clap. On Easter, he went from one parishioner to another of different ethnic backgrounds with a microphone and asked them to sing a song in their language. That was it for me. He also made sure that girls were now acolytes. Sorry but to me being an acolytes encourages boys to become priests and why he would change everything so radically I have no idea.

Then God led me to a wonderful parish. It is very traditional. The Pastor offers the TLM each Sunday. Although I don’t attend it, I attend the NO Mass which is quite lovely. They are very reverent in this church. The other people talked alot before and sometimes during Mass. The priest faces east. It is a small building compared to most, but I feel much more of a community there.

They have many organizations people can be involved in. They offer confession often. The children are taught to revernce Christ on the altar by the age of two or three. People are polite and quiet while in church and many do devotions before and after Mass.

They sing lovely traditional hymns. I think it is what Vatican II expected the NO Mass to be.

Yours in Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette

 

[BernadetteM]

Sorry about the double post. I have had a hectic day and was interruppted during my posting and when I came back on the computer hours later it looked like I had not submitted my post.

Sorry again.

In the Hearts of Jesus and Mary\

Bernadette

 

[Paul_MG]

In my hometown, my family is entrenched in the local, geographicly assigned parish, and it has been a blessing despite the many changes in leadership. Where I’ve lived these past 16 years, I’ve done a bit of “forum-shopping” - usually looking for that same connection with people that it had taken years to develop in my hometown parish, but this time with my wife, who also expected an engaging homily. Providentially, we returned to our local parish when the new pastor introduced a bilingual mass that resonated with our ethnic background, about 8 years ago. We’ve moved, but purposefully moved within a 9-mile radius of this parish, which we’ve continued to attend because of these close ties and our participation in the bilingual community there: we’re in the choir, our kids were baptised there, we’ve participated in other ministries there, etc. This despite the fact that we live within 1.5 miles of the parish in our new town. The closer parish has no bilingual service, which we would miss if we switched.

All in all, I agree with Cat and others regarding the importance of giving the local parish a good faith effort. “Local” may be tied to a particular culture, language, order or devotion, as in our case. I cannot help but feel that the Lord will honor the perseverence (and the constructive criticism to eliminate liturgical or other misconduct) of His people.

Incidentally, thanks for posting the question. I’m here because a friend echoed our own recent experience with having 2 small kids at mass, which can make “getting” anything from the mass challenging. So many Protestant communities have made child care available, I can see how some folks might be so relieved, then “uplifted” by the lively music, that they leave, particularly if they don’t have an appreciation of Jesus’ Real Presense. It has been a nagging thought that I’m supposed to try to do something about that in our parish… Is it I, Lord?

May God guide you all!
Pax et bonum!

 

[DixitDominus]

It is my geographical parish. I don’t normally go to Mass at my parish, however, as the extraordinary form is not usually celebrated there.

 

[ATeNumquam]

I’m a convert from evangelical Protestantism, along with my husband, who grew up in the Assemblies of God.

Beware! Others who are cradle Catholics don’t understand, but I do–you are falling into the Protestant trap of church hopping. Stop it right now! OK?

We attend the parish that we are assigned to. It’s right up the street from our house, so we never have the excuse of “too far away.” It’s a huge parish with nine Masses on Sunday, but we have settled in and made some friends. My husband is an assistant with RCIA, and I play piano on a substitute basis. The Masses are othodox, reverent, and abuse-free. There are several choices of Mass, depending on your preference in music (traditional, no music at all, contemporary, folk, rock).

I would strongly suggest attending the parish you are assigned to, unless you discover from other Catholics that you know and trust that it is a liberal parish. You can probably spot this easily enough–if you hear the priest talking about the need for abortion to be legal, e.g. But BE CAREFUL! To some “traditionalist” Catholics, ALL of the Catholic churches that don’t use the Latin Mass are “liberal.” Don’t listen to them.

As a Protestant convert, you must get used to the idea and accept the doctrine that YOU are no longer in charge. Your CHURCH is in charge. Your CHURCH is your Authority, because Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church. You do not have control anymore like you did as a Protestant.

Cradle Catholics, please back off of this one. You have no clue what it means to be Protestant and be your own pope, and so you don’t really understand what the OP is asking. You are trying to turn this into a EF vs. OF debate, and that is NOT the issue here!. Please allow this dear convert to assimilate and practice giving over the authority to his Church. Please.

As for being awed, I agree with the poster who said that the Eucharist, Jesus Christ Himself, will awe you if you keep your eyes off all the trappings and stained glass and veils and altars and statues. They are beautiful indeed, and helpful to enhancing your “feelings.” But as a Protestant, surely you know by now that feelings are fleeting, and will vary depending on what you had for breakfast and how much sleep you got the night before and what’s going on with your job. BEWARE! Look at Jesus–He is Truly Present in ANY Catholic Church. Learn to be joyful in your spirit, no matter what the externals are (noise, distractions, people wearing indecent outfits, screaming children, etc.). Learn to worship internally, in your spirit, just as Jesus said that we shall worship Him in spirit and truth.

A wise Christian will enjoy the beauties of this earth, including beautiful Catholic Churches with magnificent organs and singing and language, but that same wise Christian will be aware that all of these things can and will be taken away in an instant. If they are your only joy, then you will suffer horribly when an illness prevents you from attending the Mass of your choice, or when a new priest is assigned who does things differently, or when you move to a different city, or heaven forbid, when you are given over to an enemy and imprisoned (this happens to soldiers, missionaries, journalists, etc.–I’m not being overly-dramatic.)

Be humble and docile and SUBMIT to the Church by attending the parish that you are assigned to. The discipline of submission will do you much good and enhance your relationship to Jesus, who tells us that the ones who love Him obey Him. (I believe the refereence is John 14: 21)

The only exception should be if you are of a certain ethnic background, and there is a parish in your city that is for your ethnicity–then you can certainly request to attend this parish. We have an Italian parish, a Polish parish, and a Hispanic parish in our city, and I often play for the Italian parish–always a pleasure for me.

Amen to all of this!! And I hope the OP takes what you have said on board, because trying to alienate or confuse someone who is not even a Catholic about Traditional versus Novus Ordo yet is not helpful. I am a convert myself (since WAY back in 1967) and I totally agree with this poster (Cat) that church hopping should not be encouraged. Protestants tend to shop around for a church or denomination that suits them, and although this is done also by Catholic posters on this forum looking for a church that makes them feel good (Tradtionalist) I think a new convert should just try and settle down in an “ordinary” parish first - surely not every parish is too liberal or comitting liturgical abuses?? Let him/her follow the excellent advice of this poster who can explain the Protestant vs Catholic mentality re church authority better than I can.
I for one am not a traditionalist, but can be awe-struck at any of the NO Masses I attend in my city parishes (all of them orthodox) - and my true “home” is the parish closest to me.

 

[JulianN]

I live in a college town that has a Newman Center that probably more closely resembles the Protestant church you’re leaving than a Catholic Church. The bored college students, guitar music, etc, makes it difficult for me.

Interesting. In virtually all of the Newman Center parishes I’ve attended, the college students have not been bored at all. In fact, student parishes are usually filled with life because the students who are there really want to be there.

In our diocese, people drive long distances to attend the student parish, because it is so wonderful.

 

[Saint_Sebastian]

Amen to all of this!! And I hope the OP takes what you have said on board, because trying to alienate or confuse someone who is not even a Catholic about Traditional versus Novus Ordo yet is not helpful. I am a convert myself (since WAY back in 1967) and I totally agree with this poster (Cat) that church hopping should not be encouraged. Protestants tend to shop around for a church or denomination that suits them, and although this is done also by Catholic posters on this forum looking for a church that makes them feel good (Tradtionalist) I think a new convert should just try and settle down in an “ordinary” parish first - surely not every parish is too liberal or comitting liturgical abuses?? Let him/her follow the excellent advice of this poster who can explain the Protestant vs Catholic mentality re church authority better than I can.
I for one am not a traditionalist, but can be awe-struck at any of the NO Masses I attend in my city parishes (all of them orthodox) - and my true “home” is the parish closest to me.

Church hopping for a Catholic is required at times in order to attend services for the family if you have a large one, in many instances it is nearly impossible to arrange services when and where you want. Also to consider is invitations to other parishes by faithful members who desire your presence. I receive many invitation to other parishes both by parishoners and Priests also. Father Thomas from the next parish over has been calling me for the past year to come over for coffee, Mass, Confession and parish activities. Father Perkle called me for his 25th Anniversary. Deacon Jim called me for a wedding at the Cathedral and we went to the Vatican for Pope John Paul 11’s invitation for the Jubilee. I find myself at many parishes not by “hopping” , rather by hoping that I can keep up with all the invitations and celebrations from friends and relatives. It looks like I am “hopping” when in fact I am “hopping” to satisfy all my acquaintences.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

Only a little rude.

If traditionalism is about following the rules, the traditions, and the the rules/traditions say that you are a member of your geographic parish, how can you go anywhere else?
You obviously are not the target of my comment. I am a little peeved at people who only follow the rules they find followable…

How can I go *anywhere else? *Because it is allowed by our Bishop.
**Because my geographical parish does NOT have the EF. Because **as the Bishop points out in his rules *allowing *the TLM oratory…that even though our spiritual lives are directed towards that oratory **we are still required **to stay active members in time, talent and treasure to our parish of registry. Which is just what I do. So…I support 2 churches and still occasionally attend the NO there. So…speaking for myself, I am pleased to say that I am indeed following ALL the rules. Thank you very much.

 

[jay29]

I’m not. I’m registered in one parish, but I can’t stand the pew politics there. I hate to say it, but some Catholics are down right rotten. So I go to any Catholic Parish I please. I belong to the Universal Church so I can fulfill my obligations anywhere in the world.

 

[jimpres]

There is only one catholic church near me. The rest are protestant/baptist. I live in Tennessee. I would have to drive to Knoxville about an hour away.
So this one works out just fine. Bowing in stead of kneeling. Host off to the side of the altar. Holding hands for the Our Father.