Why Are You Scared of Religious Life?

[JReducation]

I am not a Priest so I can’t speak for anybody else’s experience. It depends on the distance from home and where the priest is stationed, his work assignment (if it entails traveling), how busy he is in the Parish. We have a Priest in my extended family and his work takes him all over the US for speaking engagements. He comes home to see Dad often enough when he can.

It also depends on whether the priest is a religious or a secular priest. Our brothers who are priests follow the same rule as the rest of the community. We see our families once a year for 10 days and never on holidays. Those must be spent with the brothers. We do not go home for funerals or weddings without permission from the superior.

Priests who are monks never go home. They receive visits from their families at the monastery several times a year, depending on the constitutions of the abbey.

Secular priests are usually ordained for the same diocese in which they grew up. Because they are secular, they are not bound to community life. They have a day off every week. They also have some free evenings. If their families live in the area, they can see them as often as they wish. Also, some bishops do not object to their priests living with family members. In Europe it was a very common practice for a spinster sister to serve as the priest’s housekeeper. We don’t see much of this in the USA. Maybe we’re running out of spinsters.

Br. JR, OSF

 

[xsuasox]

I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past few years, especially being surrounded by Benedictine monks like 80% of my life for the past 2 years because they are at my college and I intern with 21 other college students over the summer at another abbey of Benedictine monks.

I dunno. I’m 23 and I got a lot of that energy to get out of me…want to see the world, be a bit wild (within acceptable limits, nothing scandelous, just good ol’ Catholic rowdiness). I love fast, agressive music ad my favorite band is a punk/folk/rock group called Flogging Molly (which actually played a role in my coming back to the Church), and I don’t think most Abbesses let their young nuns go off to be in mosh pits (full cardiovascular workout that is fun).

But like I said…im 23

Maybe I’ll wind down after 25, find a nice community, and settle down then.

 

[Anlar]

“Do not be afraid” yet I’m still afraid. All the what if’s, like what if I can’t make it, what if I’m mistaken, what if… what if. My mind torments me with so many thoughts, so oftentimes I don’t think and just see what happens when I’m there. See if I can or cannot make it, see if I am or not mistaken. Let’s just see from there… I think it’s the only way to complete the puzzle. To try and risk things so I can be at peace whether it be religious life or with my career cause right now I’m not so enthusiast and satisfied with my stable job as my mind and soul are so unstable.

God Bless You!

 

[Sister_Helena]

The uncertainties will always be there. If the attraction is strong, if you’re free of family and financial responsibilities, and if you have a particular Order in mind, I’d say you try and spend a good amount of time to discern with this Community. Having a spiritual director to advice you is of course ideal, but if you don’t have one, just take the initial step of getting to know what attracts you.
If you find a conflict with your attractions and your present situation (family opposition, financial obligations, study, etc.) my advice is to concentrate on developing a solid prayer and sacramental life (Mass, Confession, retreats). Not all attractions to a spirituality means you are called to an Order. It might be that God is calling you to a more serious and faithful living of your Faith. Start by becoming a good, practicing Catholic. Learn your Faith, live your Faith and be involved in the Parish and Community. Give of yourself.The more you give of yourself the clearer it will be for you to recognize if you are called to becoming a Religious. Becoming a religious does not mean just doing good works, although that goes with the territory. It is primarily a **call **from God. It does not start with us. You can do a lot of good things in the world without becoming a Religious. If God does not call there is no religious life.

 

[Chiltepin]

My Fears:

1. Fear that I am not actually being called and that this interest in the religious life is my own and not His.
2. Fear of giving away most of my books that I’d rather keep, read and reread. Materialism is holding me back some.
3. Fear about giving up the chance to raise a Catholic family of my own.
4. Fear of huge commitment that could be likened to a fear of marriage.

 

[Sister_Helena]

My Fears:

1. Fear that I am not actually being called and that this interest in the religious life is my own and not His.
   .

You won’t find out if you never dare to try.

 

[Sister_Helena]

My Fears:
2. Fear of giving away most of my books that I’d rather keep, read and reread. Materialism is holding me back some.

You have 2 years to give away anything for good. After that you can have someone look after them for you while you’re on formation. It is only when you make your profession of vows (and it depends if it’s simple or solemn) that you will decide what to do with your books. You have plenty of time to decide and make up your mind.

 

[Sister_Helena]

My Fears:
3. Fear about giving up the chance to raise a Catholic family of my own.
4. Fear of huge commitment that could be likened to a fear of marriage.

That is somethings you have to work on with the help of grace. These issues are part of discernment. If married life is a strong attraction for you then maybe that is your vocation. God never calls us to the impossible. He gives the corresponding grace to answer and live the life. If you find this is impossible for you, then maybe you are not called to be a religious.

 

[Joyful_1]

My fear is mainly that I’m not really called and I just want it for myself. I know I would make a lousy mother, but that’s just because I’m lazy and irresponsible and I don’t like housework. I’d just rather sit around and pray all day. I know that is probably a very selfish attitude and I’m trying to get over it, but I can see that it could very well be my flesh that mistakenly thinks religious life would be easier. My mind knows that it wouldn’t but for some reason I can’t get it out of my mind.

My second reason has to do with that fact that most people get married and God designed the human body to be in the married state… but I would freak out with kids. I’m not like other girls who just oo and aaw over the babies and little kids. I’d rather hold an intelligent conversation with an adult. I would probably be relieved to find that, for some reason or another, I couldn’t have children. I would be afraid of ruining them because I’m so irresponsible.

Any Mother Superior of any order who is reading this is probably thinking,“Don’t come here!!! Heavens! The last thing we need is a lazy nun!” She would have a good reason for thinking that.

I think I just need a serious attitude adjustment before I can properly discern this.

 

[Inity]

My Fears:
2. Fear of giving away most of my books that I’d rather keep, read and reread. Materialism is holding me back some.

I’ve had this fear too. I actually started enjoying giving away my books now Just recently I gave to the hospital a dozen of huge bags filled with books and videotapes - we had a car fully loaded with these. I believe that people in hospital will enjoy reading large collection of sci-fi and detectives, really. And, a whole lot of my religious books would go to church libraries. And, children books for the orphanage. I’m really feeling happy now giving my stuff away! I felt being “imprisoned” by owning all that stuff; now I’m really becoming free.
I have only a little bunch of books I would really want to have with me in the convent Everything else is not so important.

I hope though that I would have some free time to continue writing my own books. Can a sister have such a hobby? I guess yes? I write science fiction and historical novels. And, another my hobby I don’t want to give up, is studying ancient languages. I don’t know how I could handle this. But at least latin studies would be welcomed, I think - latin is very useful

 

[AdvanceAlways]

I am an only child. I know my parents want grandchildren and that is what fears me the most. I don’t want to disappoint them or hurt my relationship with them…another fear that I had for a long time was alleviated last year though. I was under the impression that I was the last male in the family to bear my last name. Not that that ultimately means anything but I just didn’t want to see a family name end with me, but then I met a cousin of mine who I had never really known of before who shared my name. That was a huge sense of relief. I don’t know why that bothered me so much but it really did…so now it’s just the parental issue…

 

[Camelite_love]

Hi Sister,
I’m not scared, but am afraid to ask for entrance anywhere because i have High school education, but did not pass all my exams and its hard to pay to take them again. This makes entrance to Religious life hard and therefore I dont try after being turned away on this reason. If God is calling, education and a certificate should not be a reason to turn them away.

 

[ShaeIsUnderOath]

Sister,

I’m completely scared and confused. I have a relationship with a girl whom is so wonderful and fun to be with. However, I know in my heart that God wants me to follow him in the form of religious life. At the time I initiated the relationship with the girl I did not know my call was to religious life so it was not on my mind. Now, on the other hand, I found this sacred call. So, I’m confused and I have no idea how to handle this.

 

[Sister_Helena]

Hi Sister,
I’m not scared, but am afraid to ask for entrance anywhere because i have High school education, but did not pass all my exams and its hard to pay to take them again. This makes entrance to Religious life hard and therefore I dont try after being turned away on this reason. If God is calling, education and a certificate should not be a reason to turn them away.

I don’t think that is true with all religious communities. It is very good to have someone who has a high school diploma of course. It depends on the ministry of the Order you are interested in.

 

[Sister_Helena]

Sister,

I’m completely scared and confused. I have a relationship with a girl whom is so wonderful and fun to be with. However, I know in my heart that God wants me to follow him in the form of religious life. At the time I initiated the relationship with the girl I did not know my call was to religious life so it was not on my mind. Now, on the other hand, I found this sacred call. So, I’m confused and I have no idea how to handle this.

/QUOTE

Don’t want to pry but how old are you? Do you have a spiritual director or did you bring your desire to explore religious life with a vocation director for example?

 

[ShaeIsUnderOath]

Don’t want to pry but how old are you? Do you have a spiritual director or did you bring your desire to explore religious life with a vocation director for example?

I’m 22 years old and will be 23 in May. I’ve brought Religious Life into conversations with my spiritual director. It’s extremely stressful to know what to do but I ask God what he wants of me when I pray and that does help.

 

[Sister_Helena]

Yes, it can be very hard to know for certain. But time will tell. Give it time. Don’t be stressed by it. Live a faithful and devout catholic life. Frequent the sacraments and Holy Mass. Remember that the devil sometimes causes anxieties and disturbance that can make you give up and settle for less. Cherish the relationship you have with your girlfriend and create a relationship that is pleasing to God. You are young still, time and perseverance will prove your vocation if you open yourself to it. But do it all in peace and gentleness.

 

[joyfulseraph]

I am not even a catholic [yet…still discerning that], but I’ve had thoughts/desires of religious life my whole life. I’m scared of it because I don’t know if that’s just some fantasy of mine, I am a very imaginative type person…and scared of losing freedom, losing the possibility of doing other things in life…I’ve never done much with my life so far, having fears and bad health. I couldn’t even get into it with how my health is. But still I can dream sometimes. Anyways…worry about being so homesick, missing family…having doubts if it would have been the right choice or not. If I was really called or not…and maybe getting bored or tired or depressed with how my life would be…this is all I can describe for now.

 

[Chiltepin]

I’m 22 years old and will be 23 in May.

Me too! It would be too weird if you were born on the 20th. I guess not weird, there were tons of us born that day. Anyway good luck to you, my fellow 22-year-old May baby.

 

[Anlar]

Me too! It would be too weird if you were born on the 20th. I guess not weird, there were tons of us born that day. Anyway good luck to you, my fellow 22-year-old May baby.

Really… Im 22 too, I’ll be 23 this September…