Why bother to get confirmed?

[Markus2007]

I also saw no meaning in Confirmation back in the day, when I was a young teenager “preparing” to recieve the Sacrament. The reason for that simply was because I didn’t believe in God anymore at that time. I still continued the program though and eventually got Confirmed, but I did it mostly out of tradition and because everybody else did it.

If you want teens to receive the Sacrament of Confession, you need to bring them to the Faith first. Because chances are that they’re atheists or agnostics something along those lines by the time their at that age. If you are a devout catholic, you will be excited about being baptized in the Holy Spirit. If you don’t believe in the Holy Spirit or the Church or the Sacraments, you won’t see a good reason to do it - it’s that simple.

There might also be a small number of teenagers who believe in the catholic faith but don’t care about Confirmation. Dealing with those should be easier, as you just need to explain to them what the Sacrament is about and why it is awesome.

 

[Karen107]

Your argument that a person needs to fully understand the sacrament before receiving it could be applied to Baptism as well, and is by many Protestants. If a Candidate for Confirmation is an infant, then no personal understanding of the Sacrament is necessary. If he is 7, then he needs to have an understanding of the Sacrament (and the faith) consistent with his abilities at age 7. Likewise a 13 year old needs to have a deeper understanding than a 7 year old. An adult Candidate would be required to have an even deeper understanding than any of the previous Candidate. None of these people (nor I) will completely understand any of these great Mysteries this side of heaven.

Actually, when an infant is baptized Parent’s go through a discernment process so that they know what will be expected of them in bringing the child up in the faith and the Catholic church and the parent is acting on behalf of the child to remove original sin and to bringing them the grace and making them a child of God and a member of the church. A teenager should have a deeper understanding which is the reason even more that they should be taught about their faith during a preparation for the sacrament of confirmation. If they don’t know about their faith by then they should start. lets not miss the boat on them. Parents can’t do much for a child after they leave home and so it is a good time to have a teen really look at what they believe in and it’s been my observation that most teens then take their faith to heart when they make it their own. If we’re worried about them walking away? That really isn’t a good reason to have them confirmed earlier, it’s more of a reason to have them confirmed later. If they can’t seem to understand, or don’t want to, maybe they should wait until they’re ready as an adult. What then is confirmation, the renewal of the graces of baptism. if they’re renewing them at the age of 7 it’s almost like their an infant again and they may just walk away from their faith increasing because they’re not owning it really as a teen. We want youth to be strong in their faith, come to it with an open heart and an open mind, stay with it, stay learning, and God will do the rest. I can tell you we’re teaching our youth so much better than we were taught ourselves but we have to get parents up on it as well because then they can be part of the process and their faith will grow and we’ll have a stronger church overall. I believe that Vat II was correct in their changes to the church to get people more engaged in what is happening and I believe our present Pope is also correct in moving towards evangelizing more into the faith, that comes with making faith strong in our youth by teaching them all about it all the way through. It is the year of faith afterall. Lets make that happen. The mysteries of Heaven are marvelous for sure and we have to make Jesus part of our lives or we are lost.

 

[babochka]

Actually, when an infant is baptized Parent’s go through a discernment process so that they know what will be expected of them in bringing the child up in the faith and the Catholic church and the parent is acting on behalf of the child to remove original sin and to bringing them the grace and making them a child of God and a member of the church.

No, God is acting to bring the child the grace, make him a child of God and a member of the Church. Of course, the parent is expected to bring the child up in the church. My children were confirmed as infants and it did not change my obligations as a parent or their obligations as Christians at all. The Grace that they received at their Confirmation is the same Grace that an older child or teenager receives at Confirmation. The obligations of the parents are the same in either case: to raise and educate the child in the faith. The obligations of the child are the same: to grow in faith and love and to live out a Christian life. The age at Confirmation do not change these obligations in any way.

A teenager should have a deeper understanding which is the reason even more that they should be taught about their faith during a preparation for the sacrament of confirmation. If they don’t know about their faith by then they should start. lets not miss the boat on them.

Why is this necessarily tied to Confirmation? Formation in the faith should be ongoing for every Christian.

Parents can’t do much for a child after they leave home and so it is a good time to have a teen really look at what they believe in and it’s been my observation that most teens then take their faith to heart when they make it their own.

True. It is developmentally appropriate for teenagers to really own the faith at this time. Personally, I didn’t until I was in my 20s, although there was never a time when I wasn’t a practicing Catholic. And it is my prayer that my children, when they are teens, will own their faith as well.

If we’re worried about them walking away? That really isn’t a good reason to have them confirmed earlier, it’s more of a reason to have them confirmed later. If they can’t seem to understand, or don’t want to, maybe they should wait until they’re ready as an adult.

It also isn’t a good reason to confirm later in order to ensure that they stay in religious education for a longer period of time.

What then is confirmation, the renewal of the graces of baptism.

No, Confirmation is the completion of baptism, not the renewal.

We want youth to be strong in their faith, come to it with an open heart and an open mind, stay with it, stay learning, and God will do the rest.

Yes, God will do the rest. Why not provide them with the spiritual tools given at Confirmation (the gifts of the Holy Spirit) before they reach the teen years. We expect them to come to this mature decision of faith without giving them the opportunity to receive the Grace that is given to us precisely to strengthen us.

I can tell you we’re teaching our youth so much better than we were taught ourselves but we have to get parents up on it as well because then they can be part of the process and their faith will grow and we’ll have a stronger church overall. I believe that Vat II was correct in their changes to the church to get people more engaged in what is happening and I believe our present Pope is also correct in moving towards evangelizing more into the faith, that comes with making faith strong in our youth by teaching them all about it all the way through. It is the year of faith afterall. Lets make that happen. The mysteries of Heaven are marvelous for sure and we have to make Jesus part of our lives or we are lost.

Absolutely! And this can and should be the case no matter when the Sacrament is received.

 

[Candescent]

Wow. I would like to do that!

 

[Karen107]

No, God is acting to bring the child the grace, make him a child of God and a member of the Church. Of course, the parent is expected to bring the child up in the church. My children were confirmed as infants and it did not change my obligations as a parent or their obligations as Christians at all. The Grace that they received at their Confirmation is the same Grace that an older child or teenager receives at Confirmation. The obligations of the parents are the same in either case: to raise and educate the child in the faith. The obligations of the child are the same: to grow in faith and love and to live out a Christian life. The age at Confirmation do not change these obligations in any way.

Why is this necessarily tied to Confirmation? Formation in the faith should be ongoing for every Christian.

True. It is developmentally appropriate for teenagers to really own the faith at this time. Personally, I didn’t until I was in my 20s, although there was never a time when I wasn’t a practicing Catholic. And it is my prayer that my children, when they are teens, will own their faith as well.

It also isn’t a good reason to confirm later in order to ensure that they stay in religious education for a longer period of time.

No, Confirmation is the completion of baptism, not the renewal.

Yes, God will do the rest. Why not provide them with the spiritual tools given at Confirmation (the gifts of the Holy Spirit) before they reach the teen years. We expect them to come to this mature decision of faith without giving them the opportunity to receive the Grace that is given to us precisely to strengthen us.

Absolutely! And this can and should be the case no matter when the Sacrament is received.

I do believe in the grace from the sacraments however, the way things are is that once a child recieves confirmation they and their parents often feel their obligation to teach them religiously is done. And truthfully a lot of parents don’t even take the time to take their children to mass but they for sure want them to have the sacraments. This is a problem not helped by confirming them at age 7. Why didn’t I know know that confirmation was a completion of baptism? I didn’t remember or I wasn’t told that. I don’t know. I do know that when a person is confirmed they learn about their faith and are told, at least here, that they better know why they are being confirmed or not get confirmed. I know that it we receive grace through our confirmation, but assumed it was a sacrament that we participated in when we were old enough to fully understand what we were doing because we’re choosing it for the rest of our lives not only to receive the grace of God but also to belong to the Catholic church.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I would explain that confirmation is your personal participation in Pentacost.

Before Pentacost, the disciples were locked in the upper room out of fear. After Pentacost, they spoke out boldly, not afraid even to die. That’s what Confirmation is, your personal participation in Pentacost. That is what I would tell them. That is what I told my daughter who will be confirmed this March.

**The early Church anointed children right when they were baptized. All this nonsense about endless classes and papers and plays and service activities is quite rediculous. These are mysteries, profound and mystical encounters with Christ himself. Two years of preparation is part of the problem, not the solution.
**
I would make them go to a silent retreat at a monastery in the week or two leading up to their confirmation. No cell phone, no internet, no street clothes, just robes, and no talking, for a whole weekend. Let them wake up at 4:00 AM and pray with monks and nuns, go to Mass with the Brothers, go to confession and sing vespers and compline in the cold abbey Church. Let them bow to the tabernacle when 30 or 40 brothers chant “The God who is, who was, and who is to come at the end of the ages. Amen”. Let them learn lectio divina and how to meditate.

All this activity is the problem not the solution. They need to sit still. There is enough stimulation and activity in their lives. Adding more stimulation and more activity only makes things worse. Let them learn how to find Christ in silence. Let them experience the mystical aspect of our faith.

Nothing is more radical than the mystical experience of encountering Christ.

-Tim-

I have to admit that I did not encourage my sons to enroll in “LifeTeen.” I think it’s ridiculous to require 2 years of attendance at a special “teen Mass,” and then classes after that, for confirmation. I don’t know exactly when that program started but I wasn’t about to give up our family meal on Sunday for 2 years, not when we go to Mass as a family anyway. I did take the boys to one “LifeTeen” Mass but we were aghast when the teens all swarmed the altar during the consecration! No, no, no WAY were my sons going to participate in that kind of sacrilege.

Now they are adults and can do an adult confirmation class. No more “LifeTeen” nonsense.

But really, we shouldn’t drag out the sacraments so long - until confirmation is like graduating from Catholicism! I’d like to see the confirmation as a follow-up to First Communion - like 6 mos. later.

 

[fastenatingguy]

I am teaching the Confirmation class at our Basilica and I have enjoyed this thread. Plenty of viewpoints from all sides. I find myself agreeing and disagreeing at the same time–which means I need some sleep.

I have to say that it is a real problem that (many) kids have languished in their faith since FHC
and now the (typical) parents do see this as a graduation ceremony–but for them! They feel that their responsibility is fulfilled.

The kids I teach all attend public grade schools and will attend public high schools. Parents won’t even consider it–“what is the value?” they ask. I am deeply concerned that they will eventually fade away from the Church. that is the very reason that I enrolled my son in Catholic HS after public grade school. He went from very secular PC grade school
to all boys (Catholic girls school a few miles away).

Holy Spirit, please guide these children, and give them the grace to receive your gifts.

 

[Karen107]

For what it’s worth after much pondering the subject I am looking at this in a new light. People discount how powerful the sacraments are in bringing grace to their lives. I know it was powerful for me even when I didn’t understand they why about everything, I took it on faith and came to clearer understandings as I went on. And it is important to secure childrens faith through the sacraments before they become atheist or agnostic as someone put it. Faith formation should become a part of every Christians ongoing life. Let God give them the grace to succeed! Thank you Babochka and all…

 

[babochka]

For what it’s worth after much pondering the subject I am looking at this in a new light. People discount how powerful the sacraments are in bringing grace to their lives. I know it was powerful for me even when I didn’t understand they why about everything, I took it on faith and came to clearer understandings as I went on. And it is important to secure childrens faith through the sacraments before they become atheist or agnostic as someone put it. Faith formation should become a part of every Christians ongoing life. Let God give them the grace to succeed! Thank you Babochka and all…

I’m glad I helped enlarge your perspective a bit. Believe it or not, this was actually a difficult one for me. As an Eastern Catholic, I was confirmed at my Baptism, but I went to (Roman Rite) Catholic school, and was taught the error that Confirmation was the “adult” acceptance of my faith. It never quite made sense to me, though, because of my own confirmation, and it wasn’t until many years later that I finally learned what confirmation actually is (and imparts to the soul), as a sacrament.

 

[babochka]

I have to admit that I did not encourage my sons to enroll in “LifeTeen.” I think it’s ridiculous to require 2 years of attendance at a special “teen Mass,” and then classes after that, for confirmation. I don’t know exactly when that program started but I wasn’t about to give up our family meal on Sunday for 2 years, not when we go to Mass as a family anyway. I did take the boys to one “LifeTeen” Mass but we were aghast when the teens all swarmed the altar during the consecration! No, no, no WAY were my sons going to participate in that kind of sacrilege.

Does this parish actually require them to attend the LifeTeen Mass, as opposed to just attending Mass regularly? I’d have a real problem with that as well, and I believe I’d take a similar approach to yours, if that were my only option.

But really, we shouldn’t drag out the sacraments so long - until confirmation is like graduating from Catholicism! I’d like to see the confirmation as a follow-up to First Communion - like 6 mos. later.

Is there a particular reason that you have this preference, as opposed to having the Confirmation 6 months earlier than the first Communion, which would have the advantage of maintaining the historic order the of the Sacraments? Or even have the Confirmation and First Communion at the same Mass?

 

[cothrige]

I have to admit that I did not encourage my sons to enroll in “LifeTeen.” I think it’s ridiculous to require 2 years of attendance at a special “teen Mass,” and then classes after that, for confirmation. I don’t know exactly when that program started but I wasn’t about to give up our family meal on Sunday for 2 years, not when we go to Mass as a family anyway. I did take the boys to one “LifeTeen” Mass but we were aghast when the teens all swarmed the altar during the consecration! No, no, no WAY were my sons going to participate in that kind of sacrilege.

My oldest is now facing confirmation classes and I am dealing with similar problems. The program is very long (2 years), requires attendance at specific Masses loaded with illicit activities, and also requires (of all things) community service. I have little hope for the situation as I simply refuse to even allow my child to attend such Masses, and neither will I permit them to be told that they can earn the grace of a sacrament through some sort of jobs program. Such things not only fail to prepare or educate anybody about the sacraments, it actually does the opposite and teaches falsehoods.

I think many of these programs (RCIA, confirmation classes, first holy communion classes, etc.) are completely disconnected from what they claim to do and that is why they fail. Most of them don’t even aim at teaching and preparing the recipient in any meaningful way, and instead just try to give the appearance of doing something. They are onerous and actually very counterproductive.

 

[poche]

What the parents should be doing is to live the faith fully and consistently. they should be going to mass every Sunday and there should be prayer in the home every day at a time when everybody can be together.
in order to be a full member of the Catholic Church you have to recieve all the sacraments of initiation.

 

[Karen107]

I’m glad I helped enlarge your perspective a bit. Believe it or not, this was actually a difficult one for me. As an Eastern Catholic, I was confirmed at my Baptism, but I went to (Roman Rite) Catholic school, and was taught the error that Confirmation was the “adult” acceptance of my faith. It never quite made sense to me, though, because of my own confirmation, and it wasn’t until many years later that I finally learned what confirmation actually is (and imparts to the soul), as a sacrament.

I dont like to bring this up again but again this goes through my mind. Suppose a person just goes through the motions and gets confirmed because it was expected of them, to please their parents, or they really didn’t understand or even want to but got confirmed anyway. Would God give them the same grace that he would give a person had they wanted to accept Gods grace willingly? I mean God doesn’t push his grace on anyone, we all have free will to accept or not accept Gods love, and God wants us to come willingly to accept Gods love. And how many people are out there that went through the sacraments only to find God later in another faith because they were evangelized by someone else of another faith. I know I am seeming to go around on this one but in discussion here, that came up and it makes a lot of sense as to the reason why we should know about our faith before we accept any sacrament we should come to accept it willingly. That comes with any sacrament.

I am struggling with this. Is it that the grace we receive from the sacrament has staying power?
OH If I had the mind of God!!

I suppose we should just do the best with what we have and let God do the rest.

 

[runningdude]

I dont like to bring this up again but again this goes through my mind. Suppose a person just goes through the motions and gets confirmed because it was expected of them, to please their parents, or they really didn’t understand or even want to but got confirmed anyway. Would God give them the same grace that he would give a person had they wanted to accept Gods grace willingly? I mean God doesn’t push his grace on anyone, we all have free will to accept or not accept Gods love, and God wants us to come willingly to accept Gods love. And how many people are out there that went through the sacraments only to find God later in another faith because they were evangelized by someone else of another faith. I know I am seeming to go around on this one but in discussion here, that came up and it makes a lot of sense as to the reason why we should know about our faith before we accept any sacrament we should come to accept it willingly. That comes with any sacrament.

I am struggling with this. Is it that the grace we receive from the sacrament has staying power?
OH If I had the mind of God!!

I suppose we should just do the best with what we have and let God do the rest.

Such an individual you describe would receive the sacrament validly, but not necessarily get its benefits.

The grace of the sacrament requires the recipient to be willing, but not necessarily fully understanding. However, the recipient must be in a state of grace, else the graces will be present but not fruitful until his next confession. Someone just going “through the motions” might also have unconfessed mortal sins, and thus may not immediately gain access to the graces of confirmation.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

My oldest is now facing confirmation classes and I am dealing with similar problems. The program is very long (2 years), requires attendance at specific Masses loaded with illicit activities, and also requires (of all things) community service. I have little hope for the situation as I simply refuse to even allow my child to attend such Masses, and neither will I permit them to be told that they can earn the grace of a sacrament through some sort of jobs program. Such things not only fail to prepare or educate anybody about the sacraments, it actually does the opposite and teaches falsehoods.

I think many of these programs (RCIA, confirmation classes, first holy communion classes, etc.) are completely disconnected from what they claim to do and that is why they fail. Most of them don’t even aim at teaching and preparing the recipient in any meaningful way, and instead just try to give the appearance of doing something. They are onerous and actually very counterproductive.

It’s a fad program, IMO, and yes, loaded with illicit activities is how I would describe a LifeTeen Mass. Try to find a parish that still does Latin Mass - or one that is more orthodox than the LifeTeen parishes. They do still exist, and their confirmation programs are traditional once a week classes for a shorter period of time, perhaps 1 year. The community service requirement is another hurdle that they should not have to jump through. No one made me do community service as an adult confirmation student!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Does this parish actually require them to attend the LifeTeen Mass, as opposed to just attending Mass regularly? I’d have a real problem with that as well, and I believe I’d take a similar approach to yours, if that were my only option.

Is there a particular reason that you have this preference, as opposed to having the Confirmation 6 months earlier than the first Communion, which would have the advantage of maintaining the historic order the of the Sacraments? Or even have the Confirmation and First Communion at the same Mass?

Yes, the parish actually requires them to attend LifeTeen Masses. And then they “hang out” and presumably learn something about our faith as they do this “hanging out.” Meanwhile, the Mass seems illicit from start to finish. You’d have to see one to know what I mean. Both my sons went with me and they, too, were aghast.

As to your second question, no, in fact your suggestions are fine. However the sacraments are rearranged, I just wish Confirmation wasn’t viewed as “the end of the line” for Catholic spiritual formation. It shouldn’t be that way.

 

[smndtupidisaftr]

Ah, I remember my Confirmation classes. They were of the typical 2 year program variety. It was so strange, though. It was awful in that we had to always sing praise and worship music before classes started, and I have always hated that. In addition you probably had about 200 people, and by my estimate at least 2/3 were there because there parents made them. However, it was also great. I remember we all went to confession at one point, and we also had adoration a few times. At one point, I remember the parish priest singing the EP in Latin.

Those second parts were great, but we were all so poorly catechized. Only now do I realize the value of these events. I took it for granted. If I ran an RCIA Program (which sounds immensely stressful), I would emphasize the history of the Church and the Real Presence.