Why can't God just tell me what he wants of me?

[Sarcelle]

Scripture and The Church tell us to Love God above all things and our neighbour as ourselves - and through various means. This is what we all should do and as we actively strive every day to do these, things will become clearer and clearer. What creates our ‘muddles’ is our failures somewhere or other.
Nothing whatsoever can “turn out wrong”. If I do experience that things are “turning out wrong” it is because I want my will to be done, not “Thy Will be done”. If we desire to take Christ’s Cross out of our journey, we are no longer following The Way of Jesus “take up your cross daily and follow Me”. The Cross is central to our lives and it can be a stumbling block as St Paul points out, and not only to non Christians.

I am very sorry that you feel that things in your life are turning out wrong. Perspective and attitude summarize everything in life and in our journey. e.g. “What is my perspective on what is happening in my life and what is or will be my attitude towards it?”

Simple concept. Easier said than done.

You are right though.I say “Your will be done not mine.”

I say it again and again and again. My feelings get in the way but I grit my teeth and say
“Your will be done, not mine.” I feel like I’m being torn in two.

 

[TiggerS]

Simple concept. Easier said than done.

Absolutely! But the difficulty of something cannot necessarily challenge the concept, which merely becomes a difficult concept to take up. I am merely stating what we already know through Scripture and The Church. The following of Jesus and His Gospel is not an easy road, nevertheless it remains a journy of much Peace and Joy (“my yoke is sweet and my burden light”) depending on perspective and attitude and always the work of Grace, of The Holy Spirit.

 

[TiggerS]

Simple concept. Easier said than done.

You are right though.I say “Your will be done not mine.”

I say it again and again and again. My feelings get in the way but I grit my teeth and say
“Your will be done, not mine.” I feel like I’m being torn in two.

I watched a video last night about Padre Pio and these were his exact words “I felt as if my soul was being torn in two”. It is not easy at all, not one little bit, to surrender our wills to the Will of God. It is the work of a lifetime and often a very difficult work, but an entirely worthwhile one. Like all things, in the beginning of any new venture things are difficult, but as one perseveres, things become not as difficult as initially. No resurrection without The Cross.
We are feeling creatures, we emote 24hrs a day even when asleep and our feelings will often pull against what we want(courtesy of original sin). St Paul “Why is it not the good I want to do that I find myself doing?”. However, when we strive against what our feelings desire if they are pulling us in an opposite direction to what our will would choose, this is a great Grace - even though there is all gritting of teeth and sweat and tears as it were and feeling that we are being torn in two. Again, St Paul assures us that we are never ever tried beyond our means, it only feels that way.

 

[TiggerS]

Jesus has told us that it is “a faithless generation that asks for a sign”. God has sent His Only Beloved Son to live and die in our midst and to reveal to us the face of The Father {“The Father and I are One. He who sees me, sees The Father”). If we do not believe what Jesus has told us about the way to journey and our ultimate end - and what He has given to His Church in The Mass and Sacraments, what The Spirit has made known to His Church to guide us along our journey (“I am The Way, The Truth and The Life”), then we are probably going to find fault with most anything that is not according to our own will and preference, our particular taste or desire. We are going to desire to rule over God and to dictate to Him.
Sometimes scrupulously inclined persons can want to knwo what God wants of them in every moment of their every day. They can want some sort of clear sign about their vocation in life, rather than the quite ordinary signs available to all. It has been made very clear to us that God has gifted us our freedom and only mortal sin can compromise that freedom through separating us completely from God and the source and life of our freedom. Carelessness about venial sin and our faults and imperfections can weaken that freedom.
It is only sin that can enslave us to varying degrees. It can separate us from God and enslave us to what is not God. We are created for God and until Heaven, we have a sort of unknowing restlessness and yearning. The human person can find no lasting fulfilmment, Peace and Joy apart from God simply because we are ‘wired for God’.
In Grace, we are in The Lord and completely free creatures and His Gift to us. Why do we seek to be dictated to about our every decision, our every movement - when God has gifted us freedom?

 

[benjammin]

Scripture and The Church tell us to Love God above all things and our neighbour as ourselves - and through various means. This is what we all should do and as we actively strive every day to do these, things will become clearer and clearer. What creates our ‘muddles’ is our failures somewhere or other.
Nothing whatsoever can “turn out wrong”. If I do experience that things are “turning out wrong” it is because I want my will to be done, not “Thy Will be done”. If we desire to take Christ’s Cross out of our journey, we are no longer following The Way of Jesus “take up your cross daily and follow Me”. The Cross is central to our lives and it can be a stumbling block as St Paul points out, and not only to non Christians.

.

I know this was intended for someone else TiggerS, but how does this relate to knowing one’s vocation. I hear from many people that a vocation is a “call”. Whenever I tell people on here I think I want to be married, they tell me things like “just because you want to doesn’t mean God wants you to be married” and " getting a vocation is a call, its not your choice" . So then if its Gods choice as to whether I’m married, single, or a priest, why can’t he tell me? Why can’t he make it so that the next time I open my bible he happens to make it land on a verse telling me what to do, or give me some sort of sign. That’s why I asked this in the first place. All these people tell me I have to be called to a vocation and say I can’t choose it, but no call yet. What if I end up like the poster where i’m 65 and end up drifting? (though he potentially could have been called to be single and never picked up on it from God.)

 

[TiggerS]

Quoting Benjammin

I know this was intended for someone else TiggerS, but how does this relate to knowing one’s vocation. I hear from many people that a vocation is a “call”. Whenever I tell people on here I think I want to be married, they tell me things like “just because you want to doesn’t mean God wants you to be married” and " getting a vocation is a call, its not your choice"

Vocation is never a Divine Command, it is an invitation. The refusal of God’s Invitation is not a matter of sin. However, if one feels that one is called to a certain way of life and has the necessary qualities, to refuse an invitation from God is not to be done lightly.
The religious state in life is that state in life in which holiness can probably more readily be achieved. It is the state of perfection. However, all with any exceptions whatsover are called to the way of perfection. Because one has embraced religious life and the state of perfection is no guarantee at all that one is on the way of perfection. Rather if I am a religious, how am I living out my vocation will tell me whether I am on the way of perfection in the state of perfection. And “to whom more is given, more will be expected”.

How can I know to what God is calling me - must I hear His voice or have some other unusual type of experience. Not at all, The basic signs of God’s Call are below. These basic signs do not happen willy nilly as it were, they are Gifts of God to a person and are indications of what we term “God’s Call”.

. So then if its Gods choice as to whether I’m married, single, or a priest, why can’t he tell me? Why can’t he make it so that the next time I open my bible he happens to make it land on a verse telling me what to do, or give me some sort of sign.

Why are trees not pink? Why is the sky not purple? Why are clouds not red? We simply do not know. Reality is as it is because The Lord has ordained it so. There can be said to be basically three signs of vocation and nothing at all out of the ordinary daily reality about them. Nothing mystical or esoteric about this :

Attraction to the life
Ability to lead the life
Acceptance into the life

To which state in life or vocation are you attracted as the way you would like the rest of your life to be lived? Do you have the ability to follow this way of life or vocation? If you can answer affirmative to the first two questions, then the next step is to seek acceptance into that life. For a religious vocation, this means to apply to a religious order. If I am attracted to marriage, then it means to seek out a life partner.

That’s why I asked this in the first place. All these people tell me I have to be called to a vocation and say I can’t choose it, but no call yet. What if I end up like the poster where i’m 65 and end up drifting? (though he potentially could have been called to be single and never picked up on it from God.

I think probably that you might have been trying to discern your vocation from God in all the wrong places perhaps. Again, what is your attraction for your life and do you have the necessary qualities or aptitude for this way of life?

The best way of all for you to discern is to seek out a spiritual director. If you cannot find one, ask your parish priest for an appointment and put your confusions to him. As I said somewhere else, a discussion site can be a big help, however it has the potential also to confuse as people express their different concepts and offer different types of advice. Our priests and those who undertake spiritual direction are trained in this particular field.

 

[TiggerS]

Whenever I tell people on here I think I want to be married, they tell me things like “just because you want to doesn’t mean God wants you to be married” and " getting a vocation is a call, its not your choice" .

This is incorrect information. God does not WANT a person to be a priest, or nun or maried. He invites them to one of these vocations. What is the first sign of His Invitation - it is to be attracted to one of these vocations - and this attraction comes from The Holy Spirit, nudging (it could be said) in a certain direction.

After this ‘nudging’ comes the other two signs. Ability or qualities to live the life and then acceptance into the life.

Seems to me your ‘nudge’ by The Holy Spirit is to marriage and an initial sign of the direction in which you are being led. This attraction may persevere, or it may change.
God desires our happiness - not our misery. And when I am miserable, I know I have gone amiss somewhere or other, off the way of perfection, the path of holiness. This is what spiritual direction very often is all about, helping us stay int he way of perfection, the path of holiness. There is always The Cross in our journey and very often our human nature can suffer because of some circumstance. I can either accept this and work through it as best I can, or I can fight against it in some way sometimes with resentment even anger. Suffering is intrinsic to the human condition. No one will avoid suffering of some kind or another in life. What we do have in freedom is our Graced perspective and attitude to what comes along in our journey. And perspective and attitude is very important in life, prayerful and thus Graced (being led by The Holy Spirit) perspective and attitude to and about life and our journey.

 

[LegoGE1947]

This is incorrect information. God does not WANT a person to be a priest, or nun or maried. He invites them to one of these vocations. What is the first sign of His Invitation - it is to be attracted to one of these vocations - and this attraction comes from The Holy Spirit, nudging (it could be said) in a certain direction.

After this ‘nudging’ comes the other two signs. Ability or qualities to live the life and then acceptance into the life.

Seems to me your ‘nudge’ by The Holy Spirit is to marriage and an initial sign of the direction in which you are being led. This attraction may persevere, or it may change.
God desires our happiness - not our misery. And when I am miserable, I know I have gone amiss somewhere or other, off the way of perfection, the path of holiness. This is what spiritual direction very often is all about, helping us stay int he way of perfection, the path of holiness. There is always The Cross in our journey and very often our human nature can suffer because of some circumstance. I can either accept this and work through it as best I can, or I can fight against it in some way sometimes with resentment even anger. Suffering is intrinsic to the human condition. No one will avoid suffering of some kind or another in life. What we do have in freedom is our Graced perspective and attitude to what comes along in our journey. And perspective and attitude is very important in life, prayerful and thus Graced (being led by The Holy Spirit) perspective and attitude to and about life and our journey.

So, am I just suppose to muddle through the rest of whatever and never know what God wants from me and then stand in judgment someday for never having picked up on his will for my life? That doesn’t sound too much fun to me. (I can’t stand to be around smoke?)

 

[elizabeth_anne_1]

God wants us to be faithful and grateful. Jesus said, “To those who are faithful in smaller things greater tasks will be given.” Having a “poor me” attitude is not pleasing to God in the least. I know. I have been there and have confessed it. When I start in with those thoughts I have to “count my blessings” and reading Scripture, especially the epistles of St. John and St. Peter really helps me to keep my eyes fixed on what is eternal.

That being said, there are ways to become more sensitive to the Lord’s directing of our lives. I highly recommend the book “Discerning the Will of God” by Fr. Timothy Gallagher. It is very practical and a good place to start for listening to the Lord and knowing His Will.

P.S. If you don’t know what God is asking then you would not be punished with eternal fire for not doing it.

 

[englishredrose]

I think about the answer to this question is about faith. We can believe in God but do we have faith and trust in Him? Do we Love Him?

I been going to church 25 years and last year the new priest preached a sermon about Do we love God. It has taken me a whole year to get my head around that sermon and consquent questions that kept throwing up for me. I also as I have said elsewhere, struggle with silence and the priest gave me permission to read during communion because he told me, God speaks to us through variety of sources and so long as I relax with God… I think the secret is to relax. The minute I relaxed with God I feel his love and whilst he doesn’t speak as in verbal communication I simply feel His Love. It isn’t God’s intention to tell us what He wants of us in what we do with our daily lives, whether to be a Monk/Nun or Priest or bus driver or bin man. Those decisions are for us to work out with each other. That is Gods’ intention that we work with each other. He doesn’t just wave the magic wand and everything be okay and ‘boy I wish He would at times’ but if He did that we wouldn’t Love Him but just be dependent on Him. Dependenency on Him isn’t true Love either. The Love He wants from us.

It is what we get taught about God that throws all kinds of confusions about Him our way too. I have unlearned a lot this year because I chose to. It was easy in that I didn’t have strict doctrine anyway. But now I am piecing it back together again which I hope will be a much stronger faith because it built on Love rather than just on belief. And I can pray a new way to me, way of praying when I am coming out of black dog times… It not structured and done purely on Love and is simple. I think we got to have faith based on Love to hear it though just like we got to have faith to believe Faith is a deeper conceprt

 

[Sarcelle]

So, am I just suppose to muddle through the rest of whatever and never know what God wants from me and then stand in judgment someday for never having picked up on his will for my life? That doesn’t sound too much fun to me. (I can’t stand to be around smoke?)

I don’t know if this will help you. I once saw on EWTN, Mother Angelica talk about discerning God’s will. She said to submit to God’s will at the moment. So you don’t worry about God’s will tomorrow or years from now, (married or not?) but about God’s will at this very moment. What does he want you to do at this very moment? Worrying about discerning God’s will tomorrow or years down the road will accomplish nothing but steal from today.

As for discerning God’s will at this moment, I do what St. Paul recommends, pray unceasingly. My spiritual director also showed me this passage from Micah 6:8 of what God expects of us.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love [a]kindness,
And to walk **humbly with your God?

Just my opinion.**

 

[Sarcelle]

I watched a video last night about Padre Pio and these were his exact words “I felt as if my soul was being torn in two”. It is not easy at all, not one little bit, to surrender our wills to the Will of God. It is the work of a lifetime and often a very difficult work, but an entirely worthwhile one. Like all things, in the beginning of any new venture things are difficult, but as one perseveres, things become not as difficult as initially. No resurrection without The Cross.
We are feeling creatures, we emote 24hrs a day even when asleep and our feelings will often pull against what we want(courtesy of original sin). St Paul “Why is it not the good I want to do that I find myself doing?”. However, when we strive against what our feelings desire if they are pulling us in an opposite direction to what our will would choose, this is a great Grace - even though there is all gritting of teeth and sweat and tears as it were and feeling that we are being torn in two. Again, St Paul assures us that we are never ever tried beyond our means, it only feels that way.

Wow! I didn’t know that! It’s not the least bit surprising since I know very little of Padre Pio.

I feel like I am a battlefield between God’s forces and my own fallenness.

I wonder if the Virgin Mary was spared this since she is not fallen like I am.

 

[TiggerS]

So, am I just suppose to muddle through the rest of whatever and never know what God wants from me and then stand in judgment someday for never having picked up on his will for my life? That doesn’t sound too much fun to me. (I can’t stand to be around smoke?)

Am I reading you right? You do not have any inclination towards any vocation in life at all?

God does not ask that you ‘muddle’ through your life - for sure! If, however, perchance that you do, then you certainly will not be judged adversely for it, but as in God’s favour. Many of our saints had a whole lifetime of suffering. However, it does sound as if your relationship with The Lord is strained - hence something is amiss in your life somewhere on your part. You probably need spiritual direction to sort yourself out. I think I said elsewhere that if you cannot find a spiritual director, then make an appointment with your parish priest. These discussion boards can be helpful, but spiritual direction is something very special and quite uniquely blest.
The desire to please God is in and of itself pleasing to God. Sometimes we can miss ‘the markers’ (sin translated literally means “to miss the mark”) but missing ‘the markers’ is not for the wanting and desire to be spot on. We can be confused as you seem to be and confusion is not sinful. One cannot commit serious sin in a state of confusion and only serious sin can separate one from God. The Lord is close to you, very close - now your task seems to me to be to get yourself in touch with Him - i.e. work on your relationship with Him and what He desires is your happiness, Peace and Joy. This is Scriptural and what The Church teaches…Tigger

 

[TiggerS]

Wow! I didn’t know that! It’s not the least bit surprising since I know very little of Padre Pio.

I feel like I am a battlefield between God’s forces and my own fallenness.

I wonder if the Virgin Mary was spared this since she is not fallen like I am.

Mary would not have been spared 'the battlefield of temptation as her Son was not. She simply did not cave into any temptation but remained sinless all her life. Original sin means that our nature is inclined towards sin - we have confused notions of wherein our happiness lay, which is in God.

 

[TiggerS]

The other thing (one of them) to recall about Our Lady is that she suffered agonies as she stood at the foot of the cross watching her son die a terrible death. The Church considers that hers was a spiritual martyrdom.
Mary would have known of course what happened to Jesus’ cousin, John The Baptist, who was beheaded for speaking out against Jewish authority (Herod). Jesus, when He leaves home to take up His mission, does exactly the same thing and speaks agains Jewish leadership - Pharisees and scribes. Mary would have suffered much anxiety over her Son as He took up His mission - much anxiety and suffering and all her anxiety was realized in cruel suffering as her Son died terribly on the cross. Roman crucifixion is known even today as being the worst form of execution known to man. It was a shocking, painful and slow way to die - and Mary remained with her Son to the end.

If anyone wants to read a medical account of Roman Crucifixion, its on Catholic Culture website here : catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/overviews/seasons/lent/passion1.cfm
I do warn that it is very graphic and violent - with some illustrations. Not for the weak hearted.

 

[benjammin]

I don’t know if this will help you. I once saw on EWTN, Mother Angelica talk about discerning God’s will. She said to submit to God’s will at the moment. So you don’t worry about God’s will tomorrow or years from now, (married or not?) but about God’s will at this very moment. What does he want you to do at this very moment? Worrying about discerning God’s will tomorrow or years down the road will accomplish nothing but steal from today.

As for discerning God’s will at this moment, I do what St. Paul recommends, pray unceasingly. My spiritual director also showed me this passage from Micah 6:8 of what God expects of us.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love [a]kindness,
And to walk **humbly with your God?

Just my opinion.**

Thing is, God isn’t telling me anything now. I just kind of drift. Sure I follow what the bible says and live my life and try not to sin, but I feel like theres more. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be any call, unless my call is just to work hard at my part time job and wait until teaching jobs open up. But that seems too simple. I mean I see other people doing things with their lives while i’m some loser at home. All I got is my faith and thats it. So many people have a direction to go, why can’t god help me and just use me like some robot. If he commands, I will follow

 

[elizabeth_anne_1]

How is your prayer life? We can all certainly grow closer to the Lord in prayer and pray for others. This is an important, albeit hidden, way to serve the Lord and His Church.

Maybe you could pray for the humility to accept where you are in life with peace. It is good to look for what the Lord is asking of you but not if it means you are comparing yourself to others and coveting what they have. It can be very easy to look at the vocations of others and wish that we had them too. I have been in a similar place myself. Pray for humility. I did and it really helped me.

 

[Sarcelle]

Thing is, God isn’t telling me anything now. I just kind of drift. Sure I follow what the bible says and live my life and try not to sin, but I feel like theres more. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be any call, unless my call is just to work hard at my part time job and wait until teaching jobs open up. But that seems too simple. I mean I see other people doing things with their lives while i’m some loser at home. All I got is my faith and thats it. So many people have a direction to go, why can’t god help me and just use me like some robot. If he commands, I will follow

Ahh yes. I know how it’s like. Like you, I am in some sort of holding pattern. You see I got laid off from my job just recently and I am having a devil of a time finding a new job.I do not know if God wants me to continue in the same industry I was in or to try my hand at another. All my attempts at job hunting have been fruitless.

All merit lies in the will. So to resolve to trust in God’s will at the moment no matter what your emotions and/or intellect are saying is part of spiritual warfare. Hang in there. I’ll pray for the both of us.

 

[benjammin]

How is your prayer life? We can all certainly grow closer to the Lord in prayer and pray for others. This is an important, albeit hidden, way to serve the Lord and His Church.

Maybe you could pray for the humility to accept where you are in life with peace. It is good to look for what the Lord is asking of you but not if it means you are comparing yourself to others and coveting what they have. It can be very easy to look at the vocations of others and wish that we had them too. I have been in a similar place myself. Pray for humility. I did and it really helped me.

anymore my prayers aren’t being answered. In fact the big things in life have never gone right. I prayed for my father to beat cancer. He died when I was 15. I prayed that I’d get a girlfriend and be the best husband I could be. I’m still single. I’ve prayed that I would get a wonderful teaching job I love. Instead I work part time at a grocery store and subsitute teach. I know its part of God’s plan, but maybe god wants me to suffer to be closer to him

 

[philv]

I remember seeing a child argue to his father of something he wanted. His father started speaking very softly. The kid asked, “what?” The father kept speaking lightly. The kid got quieter and quieter, walked closer, trying to hear what his father had to say. So is the same with our faith journey with God. We argue asking him to hurry up to tell us, because we want it now, but God is speaking lightly to us. We have to walk closer, listen harder, and eventually we understand. I’m almost there.